by Penelope Sky
“I will punish Bates for what he did. He won’t get away with this.”
“I couldn’t care less about him. You’re the one I care about, Cato. He’s not in this relationship—you are.” She crossed her arms over her chest and kept her gaze focused on the door.
“I’m going to kill him.”
No reaction.
“I’m going to shoot him in front of the fountain.”
“Is that how you solve all your problems?” she hissed. “Making them kneel and take a bullet to the brain? You already picked your brother over me, so there’s no point in killing him. Whether he lives or dies makes no difference to me.”
I stared at the side of her face and the white gauze that nearly matched her pearly skin. I could feel the hatred ripple out of her body in waves. All the love and affection I used to feel from her disappeared. I’d done terrible things to her in the past, but she’d somehow still loved me. But now…it seemed like I’d pushed her too far. “I’m sorry.”
Her arms tightened over her chest. “Can I go? I need to get home and check on Martina.”
Forcing a conversation when the wound was so fresh wouldn’t change anything. She was livid with me and needed space. Maybe once she cooled down, she might listen to me. “I’ll take you home now.”
When we stepped out of the car, it was dawn. The sun rose over the horizon, and her blood was still visible on the ground. Drops of it had been left behind. She stopped and stared at it, like she was reliving that moment.
Then she marched into the house as quickly as she could, like she was trying to get away from me.
I let her get a head start.
I joined her in the baby’s room upstairs. Siena sat in the rocking chair and breastfed Martina, rocking back and forth slowly as the sun filtered through the open window. I stared at her from the doorway, thinking about how beautiful she looked—how terrible I felt.
She looked up when she realized I was there. “Go away.” She barely raised her voice as she addressed me. “Don’t make me ask you again.” She looked back at our daughter who was eating breakfast from her tits.
I wanted to stand there and watch her nourish our daughter because it was a beautiful sight. There was something so simple about it, so peaceful. But I knew I wasn’t welcome—and I shouldn’t be welcome.
I didn’t know what else to do, so I went to my office to work.
10
Siena
There were no words to describe what I was feeling.
Other than the pain I felt in my head, I felt pain everywhere else too—especially my heart.
I hadn’t seen it coming because I trusted Cato so blindly. Even if he didn’t say he loved me, I knew he loved me from the bottom of his heart. I knew he would never hurt me, never torture me.
But I was wrong about all of that.
Maybe he didn’t love me.
Maybe I was just a stupid fool.
I moved some of my clothes and essentials back into my old bedroom while Cato was in his office. There was no way I would be sleeping next to him anymore. I used to hate sleeping in my bed alone, but now I preferred it over the man who’d betrayed me so violently.
I took Martina with me, and when it was time to go to bed, I changed her diaper, gave her dinner, and then put her in bed beside me. I placed pillows on the opposite end of the bed to replace Cato so she wouldn’t roll over in her sleep.
We lay side by side, the two of us in our alliance.
Something about her brought me a sense of calm, made me feel like she would take care of me even though I was the one taking care of her. She had her father’s eyes, but that didn’t stop me from thinking she was the most beautiful thing in the world. I felt her fingers in between mine and watched her stare at me.
The door opened, and Cato stepped into the room, in just his sweatpants. He was ready for bed and must have figured out the two of us wouldn’t be joining him. He stood in the doorway as he looked at us.
Martina cried the second she saw him.
“I just got her ready for bed.” I rubbed her stomach to get her to calm down again.
“You didn’t tell me you were moving.”
“You didn’t tell me you were going to torture me. Funny how things happen…”
He came to the side of the bed with all the pillows and moved them away so he could get close to Martina. “I’m here, sweetheart.” His large hand squeezed her fingers gently. “Daddy’s right here.”
“You can stay until she falls asleep. But then I want you gone.” I snuggled close to Martina and closed my eyes. I listened to her cries die away and her breathing slow down.
Cato didn’t leave even when she fell asleep. “Baby—”
“You have no right to call me that. Please leave. I don’t want to start this again when we just got her to fall asleep. So just go.” I closed my eyes and waited for him to leave.
He didn’t.
I opened my eyes again. “Cato.”
“You like to sleep with me because I make you feel safe. Let me make you feel safe.”
I released a sarcastic laugh. “The last time I felt safe was the day before I met you. And I haven’t felt safe ever since.”
A week passed, and we hardly spoke to one another.
I avoided him at all costs, sleeping in a different room and taking my meals after he left for work. It was a warm spring, so I took Martina on long walks in her stroller along the path in the backyard. I spent most of my time alone—with my daughter.
But that space only made me angrier.
I couldn’t believe Cato did that to me.
My wound had healed enough that I didn’t need to wear the ridiculous gauze around my skull. Thankfully, Bates hadn’t appeared at the house because I’d probably have beaten him worse than he beat me. I was pissed at Bates for shooting me, but I was far angrier with Cato for putting me in that situation to begin with.
I’d thought we were past that nonsense.
I’d thought we had a deeper connection, a relationship that transcended words. I assumed he loved me as much as I loved him, but perhaps that was just a fool’s enthusiasm. Now everything felt like a lie. He’d brought me back from France because he couldn’t live without me, but maybe that was just an empty request as well.
I couldn’t have meant much to him if he pulled a stunt like that.
Did that really give him any satisfaction?
I put Martina down for a nap in her crib then headed to Cato’s private gym for a workout. I’d started dieting the second I got home and exercising because I wanted to get back into shape, make everything tight again. I jogged on the treadmill for forty-five minutes before I moved to the free weights. I did a few basic exercises then wiped my brow with the towel because the sweat drenched my body. It felt good to work out hard, to push my body in ways it hadn’t been pushed in a long time. It released all the toxins in my blood, made me have a goal that had nothing to do with Martina.
Earbuds played music in my ears, and I looked up to see Cato standing behind me in the mirror. He was in a gray suit with a black tie, looking like the billionaire who got off on terrifying everyone. His blue eyes were glued to mine, his gaze sometimes wandering over my workout outfit.
I pulled the cords out of my ears then returned the weights to the rack. “Martina is taking a nap in her crib.”
“I know. I checked on her.”
“Then why are you here?” I was so pissed off at him, I could be angry for an entire year. I had every right to move out of the house completely and return to my old place, but since Martina was so young, I knew I needed help from Giovanni and Cato. There was still so much to learn about raising a little girl.
“You know why I’m here.” His hands moved into his pockets and he came closer to me, his eyes still watching mine in the mirror. Now that I could see both of us so clearly, I realized how much taller he was than me. I barely reached his shoulder. “I understand why you’re angry with me. I understand why you won’t talk to
me. I get it…I do. But don’t forget who I am. I never let betrayals go unpunished. I had to make you pay for what you did. No one gets an exception.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re unbelievable. I just gave birth to your daughter, and you’re trying to justify that… Pathetic.”
“We’re even.”
“Didn’t realize this was a game,” I hissed. “I thought we were two people in a relationship. I thought we were two people who respected each other. Guess I was wrong.”
“We are,” he said. “But that relationship was built on a lie. I needed retribution.”
“Congratulations, you got it. You only had to sacrifice our relationship to get it.”
He tilted his gaze to look at the floor as he considered what I’d said. Even in a casual posture, his broad shoulders were undeniable. He was a powerhouse, an entire army wrapped up into a single man. “This relationship has been a mess since the beginning. We didn’t get our shit together until recently. And Siena…I’m different now.”
“You aren’t different at all.”
“I am,” he said quickly. “And right now, I can promise you I would lay down my life for you in a heartbeat.” He stepped closer to me, coming up behind me as he continued to hold my gaze. “I would do everything and anything to protect you. I would never, ever let anything bad ever happen to you or our daughter. If a gun were fired, I would take that bullet for you—even in my heart.” His hands moved to my arms, and he rested his forehead against the back of my head. “I’m completely at your service. I promise, for the rest of my life, I will be exactly what you need. I will never lie to you, never hurt you, and I will always be loyal to you.” He took a deep breath as he held me. “You said you would always love me…so please forgive me.”
I stared at the ground as I felt the pulse in his hands. I was so livid just a few minutes ago, and now I could feel that rage slowly slipping away. It shouldn’t matter that he apologized or said something so sweet. His actions were wrong—unforgivable. But my heart believed everything he’d just said, believed all the promises he’d just made. “I need more time to let it go.”
He lifted his head and looked me in the eye in the mirror. “That’s okay.” His hands moved around my waist, and he tugged me close against him. His face moved into my neck, and he gently brushed his lips against my skin. “But you forgive me?”
I nodded.
He closed his eyes and released a quiet sigh. “Thank you.” He released me. “I haven’t dealt with Bates yet. What do you want me to do?”
“What does it matter what I want? He’s your brother.”
“Because I’ll kill him if you want me to.” Fearlessly, he looked into my gaze, telling me he would make good on his promise. He was my guard dog now, and whatever I asked for, he would deliver—even his brother’s corpse.
“No.”
“Then what do you want?” he asked. “He needs a punishment.”
I didn’t want to respond to violence with more violence. I wanted Bates to feel guilty for what he’d done, and the best way to do that was not to retaliate at all. He would have to live with his brother’s disappointment for the rest of his life. That was good enough for me. “He can never hold my daughter again. Ever.”
Cato gave no discernible reaction. He held my gaze, his blue eyes unemotional. He would serve out any punishment I sought, even if it was heartbreaking. Denying his brother the opportunity to hold his niece was far crueler than violence. “Alright. I’ll make sure that never happens.”
“Good. I should get back to my workout now…”
Cato obviously expected more from me because he sighed in disappointment. But he didn’t make an argument for what he wanted, and he turned around and left the gym.
Maybe I shouldn’t have forgiven him.
But it was impossible not to forgive the man I loved.
11
Cato
Night after night, I lay there alone.
It was the longest time I’d gone without sex, but that wasn’t what bothered me most. I had no sexual appetite anyway.
All I wanted was Siena, in whatever capacity I could have her. Her hair used to brush across my chest when she moved in the middle of the night. Sometimes she spooned me from behind and gripped my waist. Sometimes she slept on me entirely. Now I slept alone—and my bedroom had never felt so cold.
I should wait until she was ready, but for a man like me, that was easier said than done. I was used to getting what I wanted by demand. I never had to work for a woman’s affection or earn her forgiveness.
But that was because none of those women were real.
Siena hated me for who I was—but she somehow loved me too.
Her love was real. Her affection was real. And her lovemaking was real.
Fuck, I missed her.
She was down the hall in her old bedroom, my daughter with her. It was still early in the evening, so she was probably awake.
I’d considered stopping by for a visit, just to test the waters. I continued to give her the space she asked for to prove my sincerity, but as the days passed, the loneliness killed me. It seemed like I’d lost her all over again, like she was back in France, even though she was just down the hall.
When I couldn’t fight it anymore, I threw back the covers and marched to her bedroom.
She sat up in bed reading a book while Martina slept beside her, wearing a blue onesie. She was sound asleep and not affected by the lamp on the bedside table. Siena lifted her gaze to look at me, and this time, I wasn’t met with the same hostility. It was much dimmer now, like simmering coals of a dying fire. “Did you need something?”
“You.” I approached the bed in my boxers and looked down at my daughter, who was even more beautiful when she was asleep. I spent time with Martina when I got home from work, but it wasn’t the same as it was when the three of us were together. Even if we weren’t talking, just being together was good enough.
She closed the book and rested it on her lap. “You know it’ll be a few weeks before—”
“That’s not what I mean. I just want you…I miss you.” I went from being a playboy to a one-woman kind of man. Now my affection for this woman fueled my entire existence. While she was in another room, I could easily watch porn without her knowing about it. Or when I was at work, I could skip off and fuck someone else. Even if I could get away with any of those things, I never wanted to. This was the only woman I wanted. “I miss both of you.”
“How am I supposed to fix that?”
“Let me sleep with you.” I used to force her into her own bedroom because I didn’t want to share my space—or my heart. But now I was used to having her beside me. I was used to that quiet breathing, her perfume, and knowing I was always there if she needed me.
She debated her answer silently, like she still wasn’t ready to be what we were. It would take time to earn back her trust, if I ever did. It would take time to earn her affection. But I hoped I wouldn’t have to earn back her love. “Alright.”
It was the first time I’d had to beg a woman to sleep with me.
I moved to the other side of the bed and got under the covers, careful not to wake Martina. She was close to Siena, so I was able to slip into the bed without shifting the mattress too much.
Siena opened her book again.
I turned on my side and watched her read while Martina was oblivious to my presence. Now that I had these girls in my life, I truly understood how lonely I’d been before, how empty that existence had been. It was night after night of good sex, but the memory didn’t last long before it was replaced by another. There was no substance to it, only bragging rights. “You were right about everything you said to me all those months ago… That’s why I stayed. That’s why the others faded away.”
She kept her book on her stomach but turned to look at me.
“You looked past my image and saw all the emptiness behind it. When other people see success, money, sex, you see the truth—loneliness, despair, emptiness
. You knew I had everything, but I also had nothing. I couldn’t get angry about that because I knew you were right. You saw me for who I really was—and I was never the same.”
She held my gaze, the emotion lingering under the surface.
“You made me a better man, Siena. It’s taken a while for it to kick in…but you have.”
A slight smile stretched over her lips as she closed the book she was reading. She set it on the nightstand and turned off the lamp before she got comfortable next to me, turning on her side so she could face me. “It’s baby. Call me baby.”
We weren’t back to normal, but at least things were better than they were before. She moved her stuff back into my bedroom and resumed sleeping with me every night. She started to put Martina in her crib and listen to her cry for an hour without retrieving her.
Siena was strong.
“I hate listening to her cry,” she whispered as the baby monitor kept projecting the sound of Martina’s screams. “But she needs to get used to being alone.”
“She’s only a few weeks old…”
“The sooner, the better. Teaches her independence.”
I didn’t like it either, but I agreed it was the best parenting move. And it gave us the bed to ourselves. Sex was off the table until she healed, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t do other things. Right now, there was only one thing I wanted to do.
Kiss her.
I hiked her leg over my hip and moved my mouth close to hers. My mouth brushed her lips and I tested the waters first, to see if she would coldly reject me or warmly welcome me. I rubbed my nose along hers and pulled her tighter against me, wanting her to feel how aroused she made me. It didn’t matter that her body had changed after carrying my baby. I wanted her as much as I had before.
When she didn’t push me away, I kissed her.
Slow and easy, I moved my mouth with hers. I felt her lips with mine, sucked in her bottom lip with subtle aggression. Then I caressed her top lip with both my mouth and my tongue. I took my time because it’d been so long since I’d had this intimacy with her. I wanted to slow down time and appreciate those perfect lips.