And she had to admit that she should’ve known it herself.
Chapter 18
The city lost its luster for Devin after that. The street she lived on, which she had previously celebrated as being less grimy than First Avenue, now seemed like just another dingy and dirty block. At work, she was careful to show no signs of her inner turmoil, avoiding David whenever possible. When their paths did cross, she uttered a polite greeting and kept going, hoping she did a better job of disguising her anguish than he did at disguising his. In his face she saw desperation, likely held back only by the knowledge that he couldn’t reach out to her, at least not within the offices of Holt & Cotten.
Overnight, the city transformed from the world’s most beautiful, exciting metropolis to an overcrowded concrete jungle that was miserably hot and would only get hotter as July approached. Even the majesty of Fifth Avenue lost its luster.
Devin did little besides go to work and return home, going out just enough to keep Mama from saying I told you so. Mama, to her credit, never said those four words Devin dreaded; instead, she’d been sympathetic, saying, “Oh, my darling Devin, how I wish you’d listened to me.” She put on a good face for her mother, telling her that at least she’d gotten the opportunity to spend two weekends in the Hamptons, something Joe never would’ve been able to provide. “Sure, maybe I did do some silly daydreaming about David and me,” she’d said with a wry smile. “But it’s natural to have dreams, Mama. Not having them…that’s what’s unnatural. But throughout it all, I kept a level head. I told myself that dreams were all they were. I always knew it wouldn’t last long. Rich guys like David just don’t hook up with poor girls from the projects, black, Latina, or white. Money always marries money. I know that.”
Mama had tightly embraced her, saying she was glad Devin had had kept a level head throughout the interlude and wasn’t crushed now that it had ended, as she had feared. Devin kept a mask of smiling reassurance while her chin trembled. Only in the privacy of the shower—the only place in the one-bedroom apartment she truly had to herself—did she allow her tears to fall.
The accomplishment she’d been so proud of—getting out of the projects—now seemed hollow. Here she was, twenty-eight years old and sharing a bedroom with her mother…and her mother was working two jobs just to make sure they could continue to live comfortably. Instead of pride, Devin now looked upon their situation as pathetic.
*****
Every Saturday morning, she met Mercy for a long walk through the northern end of Central Park, followed by lunch. They would buy hot dogs or sausages from a vendor, and would find a nice, shady spot to sit in while they ate. Mercy, like Mama, refrained from saying anything that sounded remotely like I told you so. Instead, like the true friend she was, she did her best to try to cheer Devin, telling amusing anecdotes about working at the UN. She wasn’t always successful, though, and she noted as much.
“Come on, Dev. It’s not the end of the world.”
“I know it isn’t. It’s hard to explain, Mercy.”
“Not really. We’ve all been through breakups. I’ll bet you find yourself thinking of him a dozen or more times a day. Hell, I’ll bet you’re thinking about him right now.”
“Yes, I am. We’re about to get into the dog days of summer, when it gets hot and sticky and disgusting. I’m sure he’s out at his parents’ beach house, enjoying the pool and the beach and the cooler temperatures, and I’m also sure he’s not alone.” She couldn’t quite control the quiver in her voice. “I can’t help wondering if whoever he’s introduced whoever he’s with to his parents, since he always made sure to keep me away from them. Does he consider whoever he’s dating now to be more presentable?”
“Stop torturing yourself, Dev. If you really believe that David didn’t feel you were worth taking to meet his parents, you shouldn’t be mooning over him. You should be angry, good and angry, because that means he’s not worth your thoughts. And he’s certainly not worth your tears.”
*****
Devin spent the July Fourth holiday in New Jersey, the guest of Glenys and Marco. The condo of their walk-up building had a large backyard, which all the tenants shared. They solved the problem of other tenants wanting to use the yard on the holiday by simply inviting everyone who lived in the four-story walk-up to their barbecue. Devin hated the idea of going, of encountering Joe and his girlfriend again without David at her side, but she told herself she had nothing to be ashamed of. As difficult as it would be, it would be even more unpleasant to stay in the hot, muggy city, hiding out like some criminal. She might be unattached once more, but dammit, she wasn’t going to be a coward about it.
In the end, she was glad she went, for Joe didn’t even show up. Maybe he’d chosen to go to out to Jones Beach instead, she thought. She even entertained the thought that maybe he’d stayed away because he didn’t want to see her with David again, which perked her up quite a bit. She ended up having a wonderful time, a welcome respite from her heartache. Perhaps it was her reward for refusing to spend the holiday sulking at home and being too afraid to face anyone.
Chapter 19
Marianne Baxter reluctantly faced the founding partners of the firm; she never found these matters pleasant to discuss. “It’s been brought to my attention that there’s a personal relationship between our new receptionist and one of our associates…specifically David Andrews.”
Partners Ben Holt and Larry Cotten exchanged glances. “That’s rather surprising,” Ben said. “I wouldn’t have picked David as the type to go in for interracial dating.”
“Yeah, but can you blame him?” Larry let out a brief whistle. “She’s one pretty woman. Good for him that he was able to get some from her.”
Ben rolled his eyes, and Marianne simply sighed. Ever since Larry’s wife dumped him, all he seemed to think about these days was sex. She actually felt kind of sorry for him. His first wife, who was a friend of hers—she’d been their assistant when he and Ben started the firm, while Marianne had manned the reception desk while doing secretarial work—was happy in her second marriage. His grown children had never forgiven him for what they viewed as abandonment of their mother. Marianne had learned from Ben that the woman Larry left his first wife for had done the same to him—dumped him for someone younger. What goes around really does come around.
“How did you find out about David and the girl?” Ben inquired.
“My usual source.” Both partners knew she meant Pam Sullivan, her assistant, who served as an unofficial informant, sharing anything she felt senior management should know. “But this was actually reported to me from two sources.
“Who was the other source? Larry asked.
“Melanie Daniels. She and Pam came to me separately, a week apart. Pam said she saw them having what appeared to be an intimate conversation, according to David’s body language, right there at the reception desk when they thought no one was looking. Melanie told me she spotted the two of them having dinner together at an upper west side restaurant.” Her gaze went from Ben to Larry and back to Ben. “What you want to do about it?”
Ben didn’t hesitate. “We’ll definitely need to confront him about it. We’re within our rights. Even though we choose not to actually forbid dating among employees, it’s well-known that we discourage it. David is well aware of that fact.”
“Yes, he is,” Larry agreed. “Although it’s really a shame that he’s jeopardizing his advancement here just to get some Puerto Rican tai—” he broke off and gave Marianne a sheepish look. “Well, you know.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Ben said. He’s a grown man, and he can make his own decisions.”
Marianne spoke up. “Do you think we should make an exception in this case? After all, Devin DaCosta is not a permanent employee. She’s on the payroll for a limited time only. She’ll be gone in five or six weeks. And I know how highly you think of David. He’s going to be a hot property once word gets out that he was the one to bring down Judge Asher.”
“I don’t think any exception should be made,” Larry hastily said.
Ben looked at him with amusement. “What’s the matter, Larry? You jealous?”
Marianne smiled. She’d been thinking the exact same thing.
Ben appeared to think for a few moments. “You make a valid point, Marianne, but I have to say I agree with Larry. The time for David to begin a relationship with Ms. DaCosta is after she leaves our employ, not during.” He sighed. “I’ll talk to him.”
“I’d be happy to talk to him,” Larry offered. “It might be better coming from me, since we have more in common. You’re happily married family man, Ben. I’m out there looking for action, just like David. I think he might be able to better relate to me.”
Ben didn’t mince words in his reply. “In a way that does make sense, Larry, but frankly, I’d be worried about what you might say.”
“About what I’d say?”
“Yes. You’ve said things here in this room that make me uncomfortable. David Andrews is a promising attorney who uncovered evidence that’s about to bring down a corrupt judge. He’s a winner, and I’d like him to be our winner.”
Marianne nodded in agreement.
“The last thing we want to do is alienate him,” Ben continued. “Saying something derogatory about Ms. DaCosta might have that effect. After all, we don’t know the depth of his feelings for her. It could just be a casual fling between the two of them, but what if it isn’t? He won’t take kindly to you making any remarks about her ethnicity and her race, or asking him how she…performs in bed, like you’re members of some good ol’ boy network. For that reason, I really think I’m better equipped to handle this.”
“Come on, Ben,” Larry replied with a scowl. “Surely you don’t think that someone with David’s background could possibly be serious about an uneducated Puerto Rican receptionist whose mother cleans our offices.”
Ben stared at him coldly. “That’s just the type of remark that convinces me you’re not the one to remind him of our policy.”
Larry threw a pleading look Marianne’s way, but she merely shook her head. “I don’t know Devin’s ethnicity, Larry, and I doubt you’ve ever had a conversation with her. I suspect you just assume anyone who appears Hispanic must be Puerto Rican.” Her gaze met Ben’s. “Maybe it’s unconscious, but it’s bigotry just the same.”
*****
Larry hid his annoyance as he returned to his office. In truth, he was a little jealous of David Andrews. His wife had admitted to having an affair with some muscle-bound jerk she’d met at the gym. She was thirty-seven to his fifty-six, and it hurt his pride to know she preferred someone younger, someone who could possibly better satisfy her sexually.
He’d found his thoughts wandering into inappropriate territory when he and Ben had interviewed Devin. Her ladylike appearance aside, she was, as he and his friends used to say back in the day about Latina girls, one hot tamale…or at least that’s what they would have said if they knew she was actually Spanish. If they saw her and didn’t know her name, they would have dismissed her as black. When he was growing up, an unwritten code existed that you never said anything complimentary about black girls, no matter how pretty they were, although he’d certainly admired plenty of black girls privately, and he suspected his friends did, too. They were off limits, just by virtue of being black. It was as if they wanted to pretend that white men lusting after black women since the time of slavery was just a myth, and that the real problem was black men trying to steal their women.
So David Andrews was boning Devin. Well, if she was giving him some, maybe she’d do the same for him…
Chapter 20
Ben Holt waved a hand toward the tall, confident young man who he’d summoned to his office. “Come in, David, and sit down.”
“What’s up, Ben?”
“I hear Judge Asher entered a guilty plea yesterday.”
David shrugged. “I’m sorry it happened, but he took an oath, and he broke it. Justice isn’t for sale.”
“Yes, that’s right. Congratulations to you. Well done.”
“Thank you, Ben.”
Ben cleared his throat. “There’s one other thing I wanted to talk to you about. It’s…of a personal nature.”
The look on David’s face was a mixture of curiosity and dread. He looks as though he fears I’m going to ask him to take my daughter out or something, Ben thought. He cleared his throat. “David…I’ve been informed that you have been seen out in a social setting with Ms. DaCosta, our temporary receptionist. I thought this might be a good time to remind you that the firm frowns on such entanglements, even when there is no direct supervisory relationship between the parties. They can be…well, messy when they end, and that makes things unpleasant for everyone.” Now David just sat with an unreadable expression on his face, like a master poker player. God, he wished the man would show some emotion. “We’re a small firm, and any personal animosity can create an uncomfortable work environment. Of course, with Ms. DaCosta being a temporary employee, I was rather hoping that…” Still no reaction. Ben decided to try a different tack. “You have a bright future here at Holt & Cotten, and I do hope you’ll comply with our unofficial directive.” He waited expectantly.
Appearing unruffled, David replied, “Ben, I’m not accustomed to discussing my personal relationships with any outside party, but I’ll make an exception this once. I can assure you that you will not receive any more reports of my being seen with Ms. DaCosta. Now, is that all?”
Ben nodded. He couldn’t believe this young man was making him feel like he was doing him a favor, but damn it, he had. And Ben didn’t dare ask him for details.
But at least David had given him the answer he wanted to hear, even if he hadn’t elaborated.
He could consider the matter closed.
*****
David’s fists clenched in barely concealed fury as he left Ben Holt’s office. Only with masterful self-control had he not told the senior partner that his relationship with Devin was none of his damned business. Even if there no longer was a relationship.
In the weeks since he’d made that regrettable remark to Devin in bed, he hadn’t managed to get any closer to her than he had that night. When he called her, even when he concealed his number with star-sixty-seven, she didn’t pick up. His text messages went unanswered. And her good morning greetings at work straddled the fence between barely tolerant and too phony to be real. He had no choice other than to accept that this decision she had made regarding their relationship.
Dammit, it wasn’t fair. To think that a creep like Jeremy was able to keep a nice girl like Andrea on a string for months by telling her he loved her, while his only misstep with Devin had been to look at that damn video because he let his smaller head rule. Could he help it if the thought of seeing her engaging in sex turned him on? He’d kept the promise he made to himself that first weekend he and Devin spent together in Quogue and deleted it from his hard drive the moment he returned home. Now the memory of it sickened him. Watching her and her ex while he was in contact with her handling her legal troubles had made him feel like a bit of a Peeping Tom, but once he made love to Devin, he couldn’t stomach the thought of watching her being intimate with another man. By then she had become more than just another pretty woman he wanted to fuck, much more.
He’d fallen in love with her. He knew that now, had known it since she left him.
And now that she was gone, he got very little enjoyment out of life. He went out to the Hamptons every weekend, forced himself to go to the clubs, but he generally just observed rather than participated in the action around him. He’d sit or stand with a drink in his hand, and stayed no longer than two hours. Women did come on to him, and he was polite in his responses, but he just wasn’t interested. The only woman he wanted was back in Manhattan.
He found the timing of being called into Ben’s office interesting. It had been weeks since he and Devin had last gone out to dinner. He wondered who from the firm would h
ave been at a restaurant north of Ninety-sixth Street. And why Ben had sat on the information for so long before confronting him about it? The story of Judge Robert Asher’s downfall had made the local papers, and David’s name was mentioned as the one who had first approached the judicial review board. It was going to significantly raise his profile, and he wouldn’t be surprised if he was offered a partnership in the firm.
He decided that Ben had probably discussed the situation with Larry, Susan, and the other partners before approaching him. With it being summer, it was difficult to get all of them in the office at the same time; someone was always on vacation. That was probably the reason for the delay.
At least he had his work to keep him busy. The phone had been ringing off the hook ever since the judge’s arrest. But his victory would have been so much sweeter if he had Devin to share it with.
Well, he’d managed to play it cool with Ben, whom he knew would report back to Larry and the other partners. No one knew that his heart was breaking, that he’d give anything to take back that outburst he’d made to Devin at the height of his desire for her, and to have her back in his life. But he wasn’t going to look like a sap for anyone.
Not even for Devin. He hadn’t been able to see his face when he passed her by in the mornings, hoping she’d give him a chance to talk to her, to explain, but he’d probably looked like a lovesick puppy. Well, that was going to stop now.
From now on when he saw her, he’d play it just as cool as he had with Ben. Let her think he was over her.
Even if he was a long way from it.
After Office Hours Page 17