She shrugged like it was water off a duck’s back. I guess she’d been called worse. Hell, I’d called her worse, not that I was proud of it, but Maddy had this unique way of pushing every single one of my buttons at the same time just to see what happened.
“Takes one to know one,” she sing-songed, cradling her mug like it held the cure to her hangover.
After a quick cold shower, I got dressed and was standing back in the kitchen in record time. While I tugged on my boots, Maddy poured coffee into my to-go cup. “Thanks. What are you going to do today?”
“I don’t know. Maybe crash for another couple of hours then unpack. I don’t know. What time do you finish?”
“Unpack? So, does that mean you’re staying?”
“Well, ah. Maybe just for a couple of days. If that’s okay?” she asked, her voice trembling.
“Mads, stay as long as you want. There’s plenty of room here. But you should know…”
My phone rang and I waved her a goodbye as I jogged out to the truck. I was late, hungover and tired. Not to mention not looking forward to the ribbing the guys were going to give me about Maddy. I had a feeling it was going to be a very long day.
I was halfway through the most boring shift from hell when Mom appeared carrying a tray of snacks. The guys raced up, thanking her and ushering her through to the break room, but as I came out of the office I’d been doing paperwork in, I saw her smack away Collins’ hand when he went to grab the jelly donut. That sucker was mine and Mom knew it.
“Hey, Mom. What’s all this about?” I asked, snagging the donut and taking a huge bite.
“I actually came to see if you had a second?”
My heart sank and panic took over. No conversation that ever started with, ‘have you got a second’ or ‘we need to talk’ ended well. I glanced around, and the guys got my unspoken message and made themselves scarce.
“Sure, what’s up? Is everything okay?” I looked her over from head to toe. She looked okay, but I guess looks could be deceiving.
“Everything’s fine. No, it’s nothing like that. I’ve been talking to Lily…”
“Is she okay? She wasn’t answering my calls or messages last night. Is it Ava? Shit! It’s Ava, isn’t it? Something’s wrong, I know it. You can tell me, Mom; you need to tell me.”
“Zach! Calm down and take a breath. Ava and Lily are both fine.”
Phew! I don’t know what the hell I would’ve done if something was wrong with them. I still didn’t know why Lily was dodging my calls but I’d figure that out after work. I was not going out drinking tonight, no matter what Maddy suggested. I was picking up takeout and, with a little luck, spending a nice quiet night curled up on the couch with my girls.
“Oh. Okay.”
“You seem relieved.”
“That’s an understatement,” I admitted easily. I’d given up trying to fight the truth. Pretending to be tough and macho wasn’t me, not when it came to them anyway.
“You really love them, don’t you, Zach?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Have you told Lily?”
Rubbing that spot on my chest that was suddenly aching, I shook my head. I’d shown her, in every way I knew how, but I hadn’t actually said the words. I didn’t think I needed to.
“Well then, you need to go and talk to her. Sort out this… this silly misunderstanding so you can be happy. Be a family.”
“Misunderstanding?” Now I was confused. What misunderstanding? Last time I’d seen Lily everything was good. Better than good. Everything was perfect. I couldn’t have asked for anything more. Now Mom was telling me there was a misunderstanding that needed sorting out.
“Just talk to her, Zach.”
“I will,” I promised easily. There was no way I was going to rest until this was sorted. “Is that what you came to talk to me about?”
“Actually, no.”
“Then what’s up?” I popped the last bite of the donut into my mouth and licked the sugar from my fingers.
“I’m going to move into Lily’s old apartment. The one above the florist.”
“You’re what?” I coughed. That wasn’t what I was expecting.
“Lily’s going to rent me the apartment. I can live here in Sunnyville but we can both still have our own space. I won’t be under your feet all the time.”
“Mom, you’re never under my feet,” I lied. It was just an itsy bitsy little white lie. It wouldn’t hurt anyone. Sure, having Mom pretty much living in my house for the past few weeks had its downside, but it also had quite a few upsides. I was going to miss the clean piles of laundry on the end of my bed and the home cooked meals waiting for me when I came through the door after a long shift, but I understood. I was too old to live with my mother, and it really wasn’t what I wanted, but I would’ve done it without complaint if it made her happy and kept her safe.
“We both know that’s not true. But anyway…”
Before she could continue, the alarm sounded, and I had to get to work. “I’m sorry, Mom. Can we finish this later?”
I was already moving towards where my turnout gear was sitting, ready and waiting for me to pull on.
“Go! Do what you need. We’ll talk later.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I leaned over and placed a quick kiss on her cheek.
“Be safe.”
“Always,” I assured her.
“It’s all good, Mrs. Higgins. I got your boy’s back. Two in. Two out. Always,” Grady promised her before jumping into the front seat, me following hot on his heels. It was time to get to work.
As we flew through the streets towards the primary school, the sirens blaring and the lights flashing, I realized I hadn’t told Mom Maddy was in town. “Fuck!” I was going to be in so much trouble for this one.
Kids, matches and dry grass were never a good combination. A group of ten-year-old misfits had stolen their fathers’ cigarettes and tried smoking on the edge of the football field after practice. They’d tried and succeeded. What they hadn’t been counting on was the wind igniting their forgotten smoke further than they’d intended. It only took us twenty minutes to put it out and less time than that for the culprits to be dobbed in and parents called. The way one of the mothers was storming across the field, hands on hips, nostrils flaring, I was glad as hell I wasn’t one of the ones who was about to have his ass handed to him.
Grady, being the goodie two shoes he was, talked to the principal, smoothing things over and assuring him that no real damage was done. Then, for some unknown reason, the asshat decided to drop me in it, telling Principal Ward that I’d be more than happy to come and talk to the kids about fire safety.
“Why can’t you do it?” I grumbled as I tossed my helmet on the back seat before climbing in after it. “It was your brilliant idea. You do it.”
“Not a chance. Besides, Higgins, the kids will love that weird-ass accent of yours.”
Flipping him the bird, I sunk into the seat and sulked. Now I had to figure out what to say to a room full of kids that didn’t make me sound like an old condescending jerk. Fantastic. Like I didn’t have enough problems.
“So Maddy…” Samuels started as we stripped out of our gear and set it up for the next call.
“Don’t even go there. Not today,” I grumbled.
“What’s wrong, Skippy? Woman troubles?”
“I’ve got so many women causing my head to spin without Maddy’s arrival. I’m not sure I can handle whatever shit she’s here to stir up.”
“Maddy seems like a great girl. A little wild, but she’s young,” Collins commented.
“She is. And I love her. I do. But damn is she a handful when she wants to be.”
With a cocky smirk I wanted to wipe off his face, Samuels couldn’t help himself. “I could take her off your hands for you. I mean, if you want.”
The look I shot in his direction had him backing out of the room quickly.
Collins slapped me on the back. “Fuck, Skip. You’re a scary bastar
d when you want to be. You know that?”
They had no idea.
The women in my life might drive me to the very edge of sanity and sometimes over the edge, but I’d protect them, I’d defend them, and I’d love them until my dying breath. I only had to survive the inevitable fireworks when they all ended up in the same room. God help me.
34
LILY
I’d been dodging Zach for a week. Well, almost a week. Five days, three hours and twenty-seven minutes, but who was counting? He still sent messages and I replied, I wasn’t rude, but I didn’t encourage him either. When he called, I let them go to voicemail. I hadn’t listened to them yet. Instead, I let him fill my message bank. I knew I was weak and the moment I spoke to him or heard his voice, I’d probably crumble and, right now, I didn’t have time to do that.
Tomorrow was the day.
Child services were coming to do their home visit to determine whether or not I was fit to be Ava’s full-time legal guardian.
Avoiding Zach hadn’t really been hard. I’d been so busy preparing for what was coming I hadn’t had time to worry about it. Not if you didn’t count those lonely hours I’d spent lying in bed staring at the ceiling wishing I had someone here to tell me it was all going to be okay. That no matter what happened, I was strong enough to survive it. But there wasn’t. I was alone and that was just how it had to be. I wasn’t going to be one of those women who stood by and allowed cheating. I deserved more than that.
Everything was ready. Yesterday I’d managed to convince the doctor that my arm had healed enough to get rid of the awful sling. Reluctantly, he agreed but only after I promised not to overdo it. Sage and Linda were going to cover the store, all the orders had been prepped ahead of time and the mountain of boxes that’d been stacked in my lounge room were gone. How I’d accumulated so much shit, I had no idea. I didn’t even know what to do with some of the random crap I owned so I used the opportunity to purge. Anything I didn’t recognize, hadn’t used or never would use went straight in the trash. It felt awesome.
I still had a lot of work to do but I had a plan. Slowly but surely, I’d fix up Grandma’s house, starting with a visit to the nursery on the weekend. This place needed to be brought back to life and the best way I knew how was with flowers. I wanted the garden full of color so when I got home each day, it was a happy place.
Stacking the last of the groceries in the cupboard, including the store-bought cookies I planned on offering the representative tomorrow, I heard my phone chirp.
Zach: Are you home? Mind if I stop by?
Why did he have to make it so hard? He was being so… so… Zach. Just because I hadn’t seen him, didn’t mean he’d been any less attentive. When I’d stopped by the store earlier, I realized how lucky I’d been. The girls had been run off their feet and the guilt was weighing on me. Needing to be helpful, even if only in some little way, I’d ducked up to the bank, leaving Linda to man the counter, and when I returned there was a box sitting beside the register waiting for me containing a chicken, mayonnaise and lettuce sandwich and a brownie.
“Shame he forgot the drink,” I muttered to myself, feeling guilty for accepting his gifts even though I was keeping my distance.
“You mean this drink?” Linda asked, pulling a glass bottle of my favorite old-fashioned lemonade from behind her back. “When he dropped it off, I put it in the fridge for you so it stayed cold.”
“Oh. Thanks.” I swallowed down the dry hunk of sandwich that was lodged in my throat.
“I don’t mean to pry…”
“But let me guess, you’re going to.”
“Something like that. I’m guessing from the disappointed look on Zach’s face when he realized you weren’t here, and the guilt written all over your face right now that you two still haven’t straightened out whatever mess you’re in.”
“I was at the bank!” I protested weakly.
“Today you were at the bank. But last night when he called?”
“Fine. We haven’t talked but honestly, there’s no point. I saw what I saw. I really don’t have the energy to listen to any of his excuses. I have to focus on tomorrow.”
“I know you do and that’s why I haven’t pushed.”
“Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?”
“Because there is.”
Picking up the brownie and taking a huge bite, I figured I was going to need the chocolate to hear whatever was coming next.
“Lily, you’re an incredible woman. Kind, honest, generous.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m not finished.”
“Oh.”
“While you’re all of those wonderful things, you’re also stubborn as a mule.”
“I have to be.”
“Why? Why do you think you have to be stubborn?”
“Because I’m the only one I have to rely on. I’m all I have. I have to be strong and brave and, on occasion, stubborn.”
“And you don’t think Zach could be someone you could come to rely on?”
“I did. But now… now I’m not so sure.”
Linda shook her head sadly. “I’ll leave it alone. It’s not my place, and I don’t want to get in the middle, but I have to say one last thing. Talk to him. If it turns out what you think you saw was exactly that, then tell him that’s the end. And if it was something different, aren’t you better off knowing?”
“Mmmm.” I didn’t really have words. What was I supposed to say to that?
“Now, is there anything else you need done before tomorrow?”
Relieved by the change of topic, I looked over Linda’s head to where the shelves still sat on the floor. Last night after everyone had left, I’d tried to install the new shelving myself, but my stupid arm was still too sore to actually be useful.
“Nope. I think everything is good. Thank you for everything this week, Linda. I couldn’t have survived it without you,” I told her honestly.
“Yes, you could’ve. You can survive anything you set your mind to, Lily. Just keep that in mind.”
I watched as she grabbed her purse and headed for the door, leaving me pondering her words. Once I was alone, Sarah having taken Ava for the afternoon to give me time to panic and freak out, I got to work. Everything was clean and tidy, but I found myself going over it again. I was fidgety. I couldn’t sit still. Even though it was my home being judged, I was tired of trying to work in a pigsty. The sooner this place was back to normal, the less stressed I’d be. At least that’s what I was telling myself. When an older gentleman stumbled through the door to buy his new girlfriend a bunch of flowers, I almost pounced on him, grateful for the distraction.
I was just flicking off the lights and locking the door when my phone chirped again.
Zach: Have I done something to piss you off?
It was on the tip of my tongue to reply, ‘why don’t you go ask your blonde’, but I wasn’t going to be that callous. I decided to take the high road. I just needed to get through the next twenty-four hours and then I could face everything else.
Lily: Sorry. It’s been a crazy week.
He replied almost instantly.
Zach: Wanna talk about it?
Yes. No. I don’t know. It would be good to share what I was feeling with someone but right now I wasn’t sure I trusted Zach. And I had to hold my shit together. Once I got through the Child Services visit tomorrow, then my world could fall apart, but until then, I had to keep going.
Lily: Tomorrow? Sorry I’m wiped and headed home to bed
When his reply didn’t come, I tossed my phone into the bottom of my bag and climbed into the car. The sooner I picked up Ava the sooner I could get my fill of baby snuggles and all would be right in my world again.
Zach’s reply didn’t come until I was changed into my pajamas and sliding between the sheets absolutely exhausted. I hadn’t lied that I was wiped out; I was beyond stuffed, but my floors were clean enough to eat off. Closing my eyes, I waited for sleep to swallow me, pray
ing I hadn’t missed anything.
Crawling out of bed, I was like a zombie. I didn’t think I’d actually slept a wink. After a quick hot shower, I pulled on my favorite pink polka dot dress with a wide white belt and sweetheart neckline. After fastening Grandma’s pearls around my neck, I felt ready to take on the world. Getting Ava up and dressed seemed effortless this morning and she was surprisingly happy. Maybe it was just because she was completely oblivious to the chaos surrounding her.
She was late.
I was sweating and pacing, and she was late. The fresh lemonade I’d made this morning was getting warm and I was beginning to panic. Who am I kidding? I was in full-blown meltdown mode, minutes away from losing it, when there was a knock at the door.
“Oh my god!” Grabbing a tissue, I dabbed at my face, trying to clean myself up without wiping off the face full of makeup I’d spent way too long applying. Twice.
Scooping up Ava from where she was kicking her legs and trying to get her tiny toes in her mouth on the blanket on the floor, I went to answer the door.
“Good morning,” I greeted the stern-looking woman holding a clipboard as cheerily as I could muster.
“Miss Evans?”
Pushing open the screen door, I stepped out into the morning sunshine. The scent of freshly cut timber surrounded me, bringing flashes of a shirtless Zach back to the front of my mind. Now was definitely not the time to be having these dirty thoughts.
“That’s me. Lily Evans. Thank you for coming.”
She looked me up and down, and I wanted to run back inside and hide under my blanket and wait until the scary lady went away. Hugging Ava closer, I pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“I’m Emery Jones from Child Services. I’m here to discuss your application and review some information.”
I gulped.
I had the distinct feeling I was about to be fucked, and not in the way that ended in orgasms.
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