She remembered the textbooks and laptop, which had fallen to the ground when she’d emptied it. She’d tried not to imagine who the owner was based on the items that scattered onto the rocky dirt. Still, what had tumbled out told a tale. She’d bent to grab a bag of Skittles peeking out from beneath a notebook, but she caught her breath when she saw the cover. The spiral notebook was covered in adolescent writing, featuring a big heart with the words Carly + Nick in the middle of the cover. Too late not to wonder then. A past and future full of what ifs filled her head.
For several minutes, Nora had been held hostage by the grief, and if she was honest with herself, the guilt for being one of the only survivors of an airplane full of real people, with real lives, real hopes, and real loves. Unable to keep the pain at bay, she knelt, staring at the notebook, her back to the first two bodies, and she had cried until her throat grew raw. All of the feelings, experiences, and images she had tried to ignore until then had washed through her.
Now, stooped beneath the wing with the rain pounding down around them, she remembered how she had risen and picked up the items from the bag and piled them reverently next to a large rock. She had done the same with every personal item she had found during her search, adding them to the pile. Every time she had to go through another bag, a pang of guilt had struck her and she had to remind herself it was a matter of survival. If the roles had been reversed, if she had perished in the wreck instead of them, she would have hoped someone would have found use for the items in her bag. She had no choice. She had to keep telling herself that. Every search she made through someone else’s bag, she had treated as a sacred duty, honoring the owner of the objects she collected. One of the lighters they used to light their fire had come from a purse with a wallet containing the smiling photos of five children and a keychain that boasted #1 Grandmother. A bottle they used to drink water from had been found in the purse of a young woman who liked anime and Hello Kitty. The second backpack they used for food had held gummy bears and Sudoku books. She had searched them all. Candy bars and snacks nourished them but also defined the lives of the people who would never see them again.
Triggered by the name on the backpack and the memory of a heart drawn in blue ink on a red cover, the slideshow of that day flashed through Nora’s mind and her chest ached with memory. She imagined the inked heart running now in the rain.
“Are you okay?” asked 4B, and Nora struggled to repackage and store the memories away. She wondered how much of it was reflected on her face, grateful her tears blended with the rain dripping from her hair.
“Just thinking about where to store the bag,” Nora lied, not wanting to explain. “Like I said, we can’t keep it in here with us. I think I’ll lower it down the edge of the ravine. It would keep away the predators and it should be okay even in the rain.”
4B studied her face. “Good thinking,” she said after a minute.
Nora couldn’t look her in the eye, so she busied herself with taking food from the bag for their dinner, placing it on the seat of her chair, and then she ran out into the rain to hang the bag over the edge of the ravine.
She couldn’t see the wreckage in the dark, which was a relief, but she could feel it looming. It bothered her that it was raining and no one was down there to—to do what? She didn’t know, but not to just leave the dead and their possessions out there in the rain like that, vulnerable and uncherished. Thankfully, with the rain coming down hard, and the wind blowing into her face, it was all she could do to focus on not losing her balance and tumbling off the edge. By the time she returned to the shelter, her thoughts were all about getting dry and warm again.
The little area beneath the wing was warm with the roaring fire 4B had built. The light it emitted was welcome in the premature darkness that came with the storm. The heat felt good on her soaked skin, and she rubbed the rain from her face. She was exhausted. She looked around.
“You did a great job in here. Where did you learn to dig a trench to keep the water out?”
Lines appeared across 4B’s forehead and she looked like she was trying to remember, but she finally shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“Maybe you’re a forest ranger in your real life.”
“That would be interesting,” said 4B with a small laugh. The lines furrowing her brow cleared.
Nora rubbed her hands on her wet jeans and shivered. She moved closer to the fire. “Should we eat?”
“You look like you’re freezing. Maybe you should get out of those wet clothes first.”
“True. I’m soaked to the skin.”
4B, who had been leaning against Nora’s pack, sat up and pushed it toward Nora. Then she used a stick to reposition some of the burning logs and tossed another one on top. The fire was a blaze and Nora couldn’t wait to get into some dry clothes and sit next to it.
Nora pulled fresh jeans and a t-shirt from the bag, placed them on the ground next to her, and took off her ball cap. Then she peeled off the wet flannel. Conscious of the small space and not having many options, she hung the wet garment over some of the firewood. She took off the t-shirt she wore under it and did the same thing. When she turned back, she thought she caught 4B looking quickly away. Nora didn’t usually have a problem getting undressed in front of people, but it was a little unnerving to think 4B was watching her. Goosebumps rose on her skin and she didn’t think it was all from the cold.
She pushed the food back on the chair and sat on the edge of the seat, kicking off her hiking boots, wishing she had done it before taking off her shirt, especially since she didn’t wear a bra. She could see 4B taking furtive peeks out of the corner of her eye as she poked at the fire, which confirmed her suspicion 4B had been watching. Self-consciously, she peeled her wet jeans and panties down and reached for the fresh clothes. She brushed the dirt and leaves from her foot and realized she didn’t relish putting clothes on over the dirt.
A massive boom of thunder shook the forest and the rain started to pour down with a renewed fury. She hugged her t-shirt to her chest and had an idea.
“I’m filthy. I’m going to take advantage of the rain and wash up. I’m already soaked,” she said pulling her travel toiletry bag from a side pocket of her backpack. She took the small bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash from it, leaving the toothbrushes and toothpaste. 4B had been grateful to hear she had an extra toothbrush, courtesy of the airline when the airport in Mexico had been locked down.
“You’re going out in that?” 4B pointed into the darkness. “Naked?” 4B looked her up and down as the heavy downpour somehow increased in intensity.
“Sure. It’ll be an adventure,” said Nora with a grin. She was starting to believe it herself. And the appraisal 4B had just given her made heat radiate through her.
“Are you crazy? It’s freezing out there. And dark. Aren’t you afraid of the lightning?”
Just as the words were spoken, a flash of light illuminated the landscape just outside of their shelter.
Nora didn’t even think about it. She’d already talked herself into it. It had been several days since she had bathed and the thought of clean hair was compelling enough for her to brave the cold, the dark, and even the possibility of lightning. This was nothing. She’d already survived a plane crash.
“I’m not sure what’s safer—standing out there or being under this metal wing when lightning strikes,” she said, and immediately wished she hadn’t when she saw the look of fear pass over 4B’s face.
“You’re right. We’ve quite literally survived worse. I’m going with you,” said 4B, pulling on a blood matted lank of hair, her fear seemingly forgotten.
When 4B started to strip off her clothes, Nora decided the situation was not appropriate for the thoughts that rushed through her mind. And when an expanse of skin appeared under the hem of the hoodie 4B pulled over her head, Nora found it was her turn to look away guiltily. She chose not to wait for 4B. She dropped her clean clothes into the chair and headed out into the rain.
They made quick work of it, using a stream of rain runoff from the wing to rinse out the shampoo. Nora was done first and she ducked under the wing to pull on the clean t-shirt and her last pair of semi-clean jeans, struggling to pull them up over her damp legs and fastening them with cold fingers when 4B appeared.
“Cold-cold-cold,” chanted 4B as she came in from the rain, stepping carefully to avoid getting her feet dirty again. She started to pick up her dirty clothes, and Nora reached into her bag.
“Wait. Wear these,” said Nora handing 4B a pair of clean pajama bottoms that she hadn’t had a chance to wear during her delay-plagued travels, along with a relatively fresh t-shirt and a fresh hoodie. They’d all be a little big on 4B, but at least they were clean. 4B’s hands were pale and shook so much when she accepted the clothes that Nora grew worried and put her discomfort aside. She rose to her knees, guided 4B closer to the fire, and then used the inside of one of their discarded hoodies to dry off 4B’s back, before she helped her pull the t-shirt over her head. 4B’s freshly washed golden hair, darkened by the water, was matted to her head, and her lips were blue.
“That’s b-b-better,” said 4B looking at Nora with appreciation. “Thanks.”
“You won’t thank me when you die from pneumonia,” said Nora, pulling 4B’s long hair from under her collar and patting some of the dripping rain from it, as 4B pulled the flannel pajama bottoms on. “Maybe the impromptu shower wasn’t such a great idea for you.”
“Believe me, it was worth it. If I die from pneumonia, at least the bears won’t reject me as a meal because of my stench,” joked 4B pulling on the clean hoodie and accepting a pair of tube socks Nora pulled out of the bag and handed to her.
“And you said I have a unique way of saying things. I don’t want to even think about that,” laughed Nora, sitting back on her heels and laughing as 4B tried to pull on the socks with shaking hands.
Finally, after they’d both used Nora’s travel hairbrush, Nora stowed their dirty laundry and bath things, while 4B settled down on the log she had rolled closer to the fire earlier that day.
Nora joined her after draping a blanket over 4B’s shoulders.
“Scoot closer. You’re cold, too,” said 4B, opening the blanket and pulling it around both of them as Nora obediently sat down next to her, leaving a couple of inches between them. 4B moved to close the distance. “Get closer. Body heat is the best defense against hypothermia.”
“I can get another blanket,” suggested Nora.
“Don’t you dare move,” ordered 4B. Her teeth chattered. “I’m already warmer. It’ll be fine in a few minutes.”
The rain continued to pour down and Nora noted the trenches that 4B had dug around the outside of the shelter were successfully diverting the water away. And as 4B had predicted, within a few minutes she was much warmer.
“I think I can feel my toes again,” said 4B, trying to stifle a big yawn. She leaned her head against Nora’s shoulder. Nora leaned away and smiled at 4B’s questioning look as she freed her arm and then wrapped it around 4B’s shoulders, pulling her closer. She was surprised at how well they fit together, how easy it seemed. Within minutes, 4B’s breathing was steady and deep and Nora was jealous of 4B’s ability to sleep. She hadn’t slept more than ten minutes at a time since the crash.
The sound of the rain and the flickering firelight captured Nora’s attention as she tried not to think too hard about how good it felt to be so close to 4B. But when her mind wandered to the quick shower they had shared, she didn’t immediately push the images of 4B’s body away. Instead she lingered on them, and used the distraction to help from focusing on her butt having fallen asleep and the increasing hunger pangs in her stomach.
“I’m starving,” said 4B sometime later, making Nora jump. She hadn’t felt 4B wake and she hoped she hadn’t somehow exposed her thoughts.
“Me too, but you fell asleep and I didn’t want to wake you.” Nora rocked to get some circulation into her ass as 4B sat up and stretched. Nora immediately missed the warm press of 4B against her.
“I couldn’t help it, once the fire warmed me up, I was out. It doesn’t hurt you’re a perfect pillow,” said 4B. “But even so, my stomach wouldn’t let me stay asleep. What have the chefs whipped up for us tonight?”
“Hmm… let’s see what the specials are this evening,” said Nora, reluctantly leaving the warm spot next to 4B, and dropping to her knees next to the food she had taken out of the pack earlier. “Looks like we have jerky and apples, with a side of peanuts,” offered Nora, in her best snooty waiter’s voice. “Or we have peanuts and jerky, with a side of apples. Gourmet crackers are the featured dessert with both entrees.”
Neither option appealed to Nora. She was tired of jerky and peanuts, especially since she’d never been fond of peanuts in the first place. And jerky was kind of disgusting when she thought about it, which she tried not to. They’d been saving the last apple, though, and she was really looking forward to that. Then she remembered the wine, and reached over to the beverage cart, pulled out one of the tiny bottles, and waved it toward 4B. “And as a perfect pairing, we have a delightful Napa red.”
“I forgot we had wine. Wine is good, and the jerky sounds delightful,” answered 4B, “but on the side. I insist the jerky be on the side.” Nora laughed and was grateful she had been stranded in the middle of nowhere with someone with a good disposition. The experience could have been so much different if one of them had been difficult or they hadn’t gotten along.
As she moved back to the log with the food and wine, she thought about the way 4B had been watching her undress. Then she felt guilty. It had been so long since she had even cared about whether a woman found her attractive. And she wondered why now, in the middle of unimaginable circumstances, it would suddenly matter here. It didn’t seem right. Somehow it felt like it minimized their situation. She should be thinking about their survival.
She sat down on the log, leaving a space between them, and handed 4B her portion of the food. She unscrewed the top of her bottle and tapped it against the bottle 4B held out to her before she took a long swallow of the wine. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad. She liked the warmth it spread in her belly.
“Nice,” remarked 4B, sipping hers. “Was that a deck of cards I saw in your pack when you were pulling out the clothes? Care to play after dinner?”
“Carrying a pack of cards around is a habit I picked up from my aunt. She’s a nutter about rummy and likes to play while waiting at doctor appointments.”
“Well, I wish you had broken them out days ago. It would have helped pass the time a little faster. Do you think you can put your deep thoughts aside for a little while, and teach me a game?”
“Deep thoughts?” dismissed Nora. “I’m not sure you can say daydreaming about a steak dinner would be considered deep thoughts. But I’ll be happy to play cards with you.”
“Definitely deep thoughts. I’d wager they’re not about steak, either. I see you falling into your head sometimes. Some people wear their heart on their sleeve. You, dear Nora, wear yours in your eyes.”
“Is that so?” asked Nora, wondering if 4B had any idea she had just been thinking about her naked. Then she wondered if 4B had guessed about her previous obsession, which was their narrowing chance of being rescued. Now that she thought about it, thinking about 4B naked
was the least of the two sins. She took another drink of her wine.
“See? There you go again. I don’t want to be nosey, but if you want to talk, let me know.”
“It sounds like I need to work on my poker face,” joked Nora, hoping to steer the conversation away from her thoughts. “Maybe I should teach you how to play a little Texas Hold ’em.”
4B glanced at Nora, took another drink and popped a peanut into her mouth, but Nora could tell 4B wasn’t going to be dissuaded with a bit of light banter.
“Just let me know if you want to talk. My schedule is open,” said 4B.
“I will. I promise,” said Nora, pulling the cards from the front pocket of her pack and getting them each another bottle of wine. “Maybe you’re a psychotherapist in your real life.”
“That’s a thought,” said 4B, but it didn’t look like she believed it. “In the meantime, I think that kicking your butt at a little poker might keep your mind off of things.”
“You’re going to kick my butt, huh?” asked Nora, shuffling the cards. “Poker it is, and we’ll see who kicks whose butt.”
The sound of steady rain broke through the mists of Nora’s sleep. Her face was cold, so she pulled the blankets up a little higher, over her chin. The rest of her was warm and she pressed into the source of the heat and softness against her side. She started to drift back into sleep, but something moved and pulled her back. She shifted and woke, realizing she wasn’t alone. Then she remembered. 4B was there. They’d played cards and finished off the wine the night before. Six bottles each, and they’d laughed a lot. Without discussing it, they’d made a single bed and had both crawled under the thin blankets when their yawns became too much to ignore.
4B was snuggled up against Nora’s side, in the arc of Nora’s arm, with her head resting on Nora’s shoulder. Even though they’d both been a little drunk when they’d gone to bed, they’d started the night lying close but not touching. During the night, though, one or both of them had drifted closer. Nora lay still and glanced at the pale gray morning outside of the shelter. She’d slept through the night. It had been the most sleep she’d had since they’d been dropped out of the sky.
Chasing Mercury Page 9