“The job of an Alaskan bush pilot is one of the most dangerous there is. They watch the weather pretty closely. It’s not common practice to go flying in it, so no.” Crystal answered her question with an impatient shrug.
“What happens if the snow beats them back?” asked 4B, needing to know, not caring if Crystal was annoyed by her questions.
“Most likely, they get stranded at the last camp or stake they visited until the weather breaks and they can get the strip cleared. They have a radio. They’ll call in.” Crystal didn’t seem too concerned, but 4B got the idea that Crystal was looking for her reaction.
“And if they had already left the last place? If they’re in the air?”
“Depends. Worst case? Well, you know a little about worst case on an airplane.”
“You don’t think…” began 4B, not able to finish the sentence.
Crystal blew out an aggravated breath.
“Tack is an experienced pilot. He knows the area better than anyone around. I don’t think it will come down to that. And before you ask, I already tried to radio them. I know they’ll call in when they can.”
They were quiet for a few minutes as 4B tried to rein in the surge of fear she’d just been faced with. Crystal shut off the water and picked up the towel to wipe down the already pristine bar. 4B tried to figure out why she felt panicky. It was probably just the way the last phone call had ended. Crystal seemed calm. She would try to be, too. She leaned against a barstool and put her foot up on the kick bar.
“Once it snows, does it stick for the rest of winter?” asked 4B, trying for conversation. She wanted to know why Crystal seemed so much colder with her this time. Wasn’t it less than a week ago that the bartender had been undressing her with her eyes?
“The middle of October is a little early even for here, so anything we get now will probably melt off. It starts to hang around in earnest starting in November. The mountains will probably keep it.”
4B watched the television, thinking about the darkness that had grown more impenetrable as she’d walked down to the bar. Crystal picked glasses from the shelf behind her and polished them.
“Do the pilots usually fly after sundown? What with the dark and the snow, isn’t it dangerous?”
“If you ask me, it’s dangerous to fly anytime.” Crystal laughed and tossed her towel in the air and caught it. “You should know.”
The response was a little lighter than the rest, and 4B wondered if Crystal had just been responding to her stress when she walked in.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Out past the lake isn’t that far out. Tack’s plane has no instrumentation, though; so technically, he isn’t supposed to fly if he can’t see, and that includes after sundown.”
“Technically?”
Crystal shrugged her shoulders. “You know Tack. He does what he wants.”
“Oh,” said 4B, picturing the first time she had seen Tack, daredevil flying through the ravine. It had been perfect weather that day and watching him had terrified her then. Crystal must have seen the fear in her eyes.
“But he won’t put Nora in danger… at least I don’t think so. They’ll be back soon.”
“You’re very reassuring,” said 4B with an uneasy laugh.
“You want a drink while you wait?”
4B nodded and climbed onto a barstool. Crystal reached into a space beneath the bar and flipped a frosty pint glass into the air and caught it in the same hand as she pulled the tap toward her with the other and expertly filled the glass with golden liquid. She placed it on the bar and pushed it to 4B. There was none of the previous flirtation or long stares Crystal had given her the first time, but 4B was glad she wasn’t as icy as she had seemed minutes before.
“Thanks,” said 4B taking a long drink. The buzz the two drinks Santa Claus had given her had worn off on the walk down to the bar. Crystal tossed her towel up in the air like pizza dough and caught it on her finger.
“So… you heard about Aunt Mace?”
4B nodded and for the first time she wanted to cry. She swallowed hard. Crystal turned away to straighten the bottles on the shelf behind her, but 4B saw the expression of grief before her back was turned.
“Nora told me you have a fiancé,” said Crystal, clearing her throat and turning back.
4B nearly choked on her ale.
“I suppose she told you this before she took off this morning?”
“Nah. A week or so ago, right after you left.”
4B was surprised. She thought about all of the calls she’d had with Nora in that time. Nora hadn’t said anything.
“I didn’t even know.”
“She did an internet search. Your mother’s a senator. It wasn’t hard to do.”
“I wonder why she waited so long to say anything to me,” said 4B. Then, she wondered why she hadn’t thought of googling herself. But the truth was, it had never even dawned on her to do that. She’d been so deep into her physical environment and delving into the artifacts of her past, that it just hadn’t occurred to her to check the internet. Besides, she didn’t remember the last time she’d gone near a computer. After the doctor warned her to stay away from the news for a while, she’d avoided them.
“She figured when your memory came back, you’d eventually tell her what you wanted her to know,” Crystal said, using the towel to polish the brass bars near the well. “She has more patience than I do.”
4B stared into her beer and wondered what other things Nora had talked to Crystal about. She didn’t want to bring Crystal into a conversation that should be between her and Nora, but she didn’t blame Nora for needing to talk about it with her friends. She felt awful about how she’d left Nora hanging, especially with everything going on with Aunt Mace. Of course she had needed to talk.
“Crystal, can I ask you something?”
“As if you haven’t already asked a dozen somethings without my permission already?” joked Crystal.
“Yeah, I guess,” answered 4B with a hollow laugh, and she paused while Crystal waited for her to ask the question. “Why didn’t she ask me about Kev before now? Why did she wait?”
Crystal regarded her for a minute before answering.
“She was holding onto hope you’d chose her when your memory came back.” Crystal studied 4B’s reaction to the statement for a few seconds. “I, on the other hand, figured you would either flip out when your memory came back—if you really did have amnesia, that is. Because, I have this theory that maybe, just maybe, you saw an opportunity and were trying to figure out how to keep her on the side while you continued to build the All American Family back home.”
“Seriously? What you just said couldn’t be further from—”
“Yeah, but this morning, when she and Tack came through before they took off, she seemed less worried. And when I asked, she told me I was wrong. I asked her how she knew, and she just said that’s what you told her.” Crystal swiped at the surface of the bar. “Just so you know, I think she’s I to trust you, and I told her so.”
“Why are you so certain I’m trying to build this elaborate ruse?”
“Too many things add up.”
“Like what? What would my motive be?”
“At first I thought it was her money—”
4B hadn’t considered that, but immediately dismissed it.
“I had no idea who she was until after we got back here. By then, I’d already fallen for her. Her money doesn’t mean anything to me.” 4B had been raised to not talk about money. It wasn’t polite. But she continued on because it mattered to her what Crystal thought. Especially if Crystal had any sway over Nora. “My family has plenty. You’re the one who pointed out that my mom’s a U.S. Senator. She comes from a long line of them. And my dad is a surgeon. I just graduated from med school, and while I haven’t amassed my own fortunes, I do have a large trust. I don’t need or want her money.”
“Eventually I figured it out on my own. But then it occurred to me. You are a Senator�
��s daughter. You’re gay. You’re hiding that.”
“What?”
“Political deception.” Crystal pronounced it like she was one hundred percent certain of her version of the truth. 4B started to speak, to tell her she was wrong, but Crystal held up a hand to stop her. “It’s convenient. You can’t be openly gay. None of the articles I read about you—and I read plenty—not one of them remotely suggests you’re gay. Like any politician—”
“I’m not a politi—” 4B tried to interrupt.
“—you’ve hidden it well,” Crystal kept speaking, never missing a beat. “Not even the picture I dug up of you and Nora standing in the airport here, practically kissing, insinuated you were gay. The article only mentioned Nora was a friend. So, you keep your little All American Family tied up with a little bow back home, and you have Nora, your hot secret girlfriend, to satisfy you on the side. It’s Alaska. We’re practically another country up here. No one would ever know. Now you just need to get Nora to go along with it.”
4B could only stare at Crystal, who stood there with a look of victory in her eyes. Her hands were busy, winding the towel around and around, the muscles in her arms flexing. She probably didn’t know how intimidating she looked. But 4B wasn’t afraid. Because she knew the truth. She just needed to make sure Nora knew it, too.
“That’s incredible. And not even close to being accurate,” she sputtered. “You don’t know me.” 4B, usually a conflict avoider, didn’t even try to keep the frustration and anger out of her voice. She was pissed, and she didn’t care if Crystal knew it.
“You say it like it isn’t easy enough to verify these days,” scoffed Crystal.
“It isn’t true, so there isn’t anything to support it,” she spit out.
“I’ll admit you’ve done a good job hiding it. But I know.”
“You don’t know anything. But why would she talk to you about it instead of me?”
“Maybe because she was trying to protect you?” suggested Crystal. “Maybe she was hoping it wasn’t true? Caring for someone makes people do crazy things. She tried to call you. You didn’t answer. You’re the daughter of a senator, and politicians keep their skeletons securely hidden—especially when it involves their homosexual children. And you, my dear, own that skeleton. She was dealing with all of this on her own, and I think she would have continued keeping it to herself, hoping it wasn’t true, but I was there with her at the hospital, when Aunt Mace started to fail, and she’d been holding back so many things, it all came pouring out. I didn’t even know about the supposed amnesia until she told me. She’s been trying to be strong for everyone—for you, for Aunt Mace—but she’s been through the wringer, too, you know. She doesn’t deserve to be jacked around.”
“I’m not jacking her around. I—” 4B stopped herself. She’d almost told Crystal she loved Nora, but she needed to tell Nora first. “I wouldn’t—couldn’t—do that,” she said instead. Even though she was touched by Crystal’s loyalty toward Nora, the accusations were pissing her off.
“Well, intended or not, it’s what you’re doing.”
4B stared at Crystal and she wanted to be angry. Instead, she was ashamed.
“We talked every day. She never even hinted she had these doubts. But I’ve been such an ass, so wrapped up in my own head, that I was blind to everything going on around me. Until yesterday, I never even thought about how many people had their lives on hold because of me,” admitted 4B, almost to herself. She watched the tiny bubbles in her beer rise to the surface and thought about how her calls with Nora had been her link to sanity over the last week. She wanted to be there for Nora now. “I need to talk to her. I need to tell her none of this is what she thinks it is,” said 4B, staring into her beer. Tears of impotence and sadness filled her eyes and she wiped them away.
Crystal twisted the towel and seemed to be considering something. Some of her toughness seemed to recede.
“She’ll be back. And she’ll stop in before heading up the hill. She always does. In the meantime, why don’t you practice explaining to me how it isn’t what it seems?”
“I don’t even know where to start,” said 4B, shaking her head. Why would she want to talk to Crystal? Crystal thought she was some sort of manipulator.
“How about at the beginning? It doesn’t look like the evening rush is going to make it in tonight.” Crystal gave a sweeping look around the empty bar.
“I don’t know,” hedged 4B. “Why would you want to hear my pathetic story anyway?”
“Hey, I’m a bartender. People spill their guts to me all the time. Think of me as a free therapist. Shit, half this town does. And for some reason, I want to give you a chance. Give me the real story. I’ll tell you if it’s believable.”
Crystal pushed a fresh beer across the bar and, ignoring her doubts, 4B started to talk. She didn’t know why she talked. Maybe because she hadn’t had a chance to talk it all out with anyone yet. But something compelled her and she opened up. All of the introspection she’d avoided all of her life was completed over a couple of beers. Crystal listened with rapt attention until 4B finished.
“And this Layce? You’re not still pining for her?” asked Crystal. She started to pick up 4B’s empty glass to refill it, but 4B put her hand over the top to signal she’d had enough.
“No. A couple of loose ends needed gathering, but it’s been over for a long time.”
“You mean about the fiancé?”
“Mostly.”
“Hmm. Well, I guess I owe you an apology, then.”
“Are you saying you finally believe me?” asked 4B, relieved.
Crystal regarded her for a moment.
“Yeah. I think I do. It was so easy to believe you were living out some sort of dual life because the opportunity presented itself. Maybe I’ve watched too many movies.”
“Now I just have to convince Nora. I can see why she might have jumped to some conclusions. I probably would have, too. I just wish she had talked to me about all of this.”
“She tried, even though I told her not to bother.”
4B sighed and lowered her forehead into her palms. “She did, and I wasn’t there.” She dropped her hands into her lap and looked up at Crystal. “She’s been there for me from the start, and I wasn’t there for her the one time she needed me. Now, all I want to know is that she’s okay. The rest will fix itself. At least I hope so. It has to.”
Crystal reached across the bar and placed her hand on 4B’s arm. “You’ll be able to fix it. If you convinced me, convincing her will be simple. Like I said a while ago, she already told me she chose to believe you.”
“I hope she still does. I need to tell her—“ 4B stopped.
“Tell her what?”
4B shook her head.
“It’s something I need to tell her first.”
Crystal was silent for a moment. She twisted the towel in her hands and watched 4B.
“I’m pretty sure some stuff is pretty obvious,” she said finally.
They waited and watched the women’s soccer team on television. Not a single customer came in during the three hours 4B sat there, and while a small plane landed in the nearby airpark, it wasn’t Tack’s, and he still wasn’t answering Crystal’s radio checks. Crystal called a friend of hers in the flight control tower and found that they hadn’t heard from them, either. When Crystal got off the phone, she relayed that the tower had submitted a missing aircraft report, but it was just a formality, since Tack was known to do what he wanted, when he wanted, and often deviated from his flight plans. But because Nora was with him, she was being cautious. And although Crystal continued to claim it wasn’t out of the ordinary for Tack to change his flight plan in the middle of a trip, or to stay the night at one of the drop points along his route, 4B had studied her closely during the phone call. Crystal was worried even if she said otherwise.
Finally, it was evident the plane would not be landing that night. 4B turned down Crystal’s offer of a ride back to Nora’s and she star
ted the lonely walk back to Nora’s house. When she stepped outside, a thin layer of snow had dusted the ground, and a thick darkness enfolded her both physically and emotionally once she left the circle of illumination provided by the single light post in the parking lot. The low clouds blocked the moonlight and she had to use the flashlight app on her phone to see the tall reflective poles dotting the side of the road. Though the snow was barely falling, she could feel the low pressure of the threatening blizzard and hoped she’d make it back to the cabin before it really started to come down.
The snow accumulating on the ground cushioned her steps on the gravel, muting the crunching that had kept her company on the way down. The dead quiet was a bit unnerving with the sound of her breathing the only thing marring the silence. Halfway there, she had convinced herself that Nora had somehow come back and hadn’t checked in at The Strut. With desperate hope, she increased her pace, but when she arrived the little house in back was just as dark as she had left it and the Jeep was nowhere to be seen. Her anxiety doubled at the thought of Nora stranded again in the forest, huddled under some sort of pieced together protection, all alone, scared. She couldn’t think about Nora having not survived an accident. That was too much.
Grappling with her fear, 4B walked past Mace’s house, making her way down the side path to the back. Sounds spilled out in to the night. She paused and stood in the light shining from a window that had been cracked open in the kitchen. And as the snow fell on her, she listened to the strange and beautiful sound of tears and laughter wrapped around each other. She wanted to go in and let the party wrap around her too, but she needed to be alone with her fear. Even in the darkness, though, she reflected on the idea that she hadn’t known Aunt Mace very long, but she suspected the woman would have liked the gathering that was going on in her name. Nora would, too. The colorful spirit of Aunt Mace had touched so many lives, as well as hers. Her heart ached for the people who had known her well. She hoped that Nora would come back soon and take comfort in the warmth of her friends who had come to seek solace for their own pain. Most of all, she wanted to be able to take care of the woman who she loved, and help ease the heart that was surely breaking. She didn’t normally pray, but she did right then.
Chasing Mercury Page 39