She watched his retreating figure, drinking in the sure set of his shoulders and his confident walk. He didn’t look back or pause even once. Unbidden, tears welled in her eyes and she blinked to keep them from falling. For years the man had haunted her dreams, sometimes erotic, sometimes just homey scenarios; they’d given her a faint hope that things would work out. Now, after three years she knew she had to face reality. They weren’t meant to be.
“You okay?”
Brandi looked around and saw Al leaning against the wall.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She sniffed and took a deep breath.
“You don’t look it.”
She pasted a smile on her face and spoke with an airiness she didn’t feel. “Well, I am. Reno just apologized for being a pain in the ass all these years. Can you imagine? Mr. High and Mighty Smith admitted he was wrong.” She forced out a laugh and if Al heard the partial sob that came out with it, he was too good of a friend to say so.
Al chuckled. “Wonders will never cease. Now come on back to the party or Clancy might stop the free nachos.”
Smacking Al lightly, she rolled her eyes. Honestly, the man was like a walking stomach! “I’ll be there in a minute. I just need to go to the ladies’ room.”
Once in the relative quiet of the washroom, she slumped against the wall and absorbed the coolness of the tile while trying to compose herself. Desire was still pulsing through her body, her chest actually hurt with heartbreak and her throat was tight with tears. Quite the way to spend a night in her honour, right?
Releasing the tight control she’d kept herself under, she allowed her emotions free rein. A sob escaped her, followed by another and for a moment she allowed herself the healing luxury of tears.
The encounter with Reno had been totally unexpected and she wondered why he’d suddenly felt the need to mend the rift between them. In a way, it almost made her angry that he had. Just when she’d finally convinced herself that he was a jerk, he had to turn around and do something so unexpectedly nice, totally messing her up again in the process.
She took a deep breath and grabbed onto that anger, using it to stave off her tears. The man wasn’t worth crying over. A few kind gestures couldn’t erase all the years of animosity, could they?
Wiping her face, she turned her sadness into a growl of frustration at her internal turmoil; would she ever figure out her feelings for the man?
Lust? Any red-blooded female would feel that way.
Respect? Yes, though at times she was loathe to admit it. He was dedicated, damned good at his job, and treated the refugees with kindness.
Exasperation? Without a doubt. Every time they seemed to be getting closer, he’d turn into a jerk. Did he purposely lead her on or did he sabotage his relationship with her for some weird reason of his own?
And then of course there was the blood bond she had with him. A persistent emptiness existed within her, a longing for her other half that gnawed away at her soul and left her completely exhausted. It had been almost three years since she’d been able to really relax and let her guard down without fear of Reno’s thoughts flooding her mind. Keeping up a mental wall between them was slowly wearing her down to the point where she wondered how long it would be before it affected her ability to do her job.
A wave of self pity threatened and she forced it back. It was her own choice to exist this way. She’d had options and this had been the choice she’d made. Part of her felt guilty that she’d never told Reno about the bond, and in truth she’d only meant to wait a little while, but weeks had turned into months and then into years. The time just never seemed right. There was always another case or people nearby. And knowing she was keeping such a secret from him made her defensive around him. Sometimes she’d been such a bitch, she’d inwardly cringed at her own words.
Well, it was too late now. So what if she’d come to know Reno better, if he was even more appealing to her now than he had been three years ago? They weren’t meant to be. She’d move away, live her life as best she could and hope that distance would improve her circumstances.
She licked her lips and closed her eyes, savouring the remaining taste of Reno that lingered there, the scent of him that clung to her clothes. Faint reminders, but she’d hold on to them as long as possible. After all, they’d have to sustain her for the rest of her life.
The bathroom door swung open, the sound of music and conversation suddenly invading her retreat.
“There you are!” Jenny stood just inside the doorway, a hand on her hip. “We were all wondering what had happened to the guest of honour.”
“Just taking a breather.” With the ease of constant practise, Brandi pasted on a happy mask and allowed herself to be led back to the party.
Chapter 14
Reno walked away from Brandi and wondered why he felt like he was making the biggest mistake of his life. Sure, she was easy on the eyes but lots of females fell into that category. There was just something about her…
“Reno. Over here.” He looked up at the sound of his name. Captain Fielding was sitting at a table and gesturing for him to come over.
“Captain.” Sliding into the empty chair, he waited for the older man to speak. Fielding was akin to their Alpha in the pseudo pack of his department. No one was sure how old the man was. His hair was steel grey and his face was lined but his strength and authority showed no signs of faltering. Fielding was known as being fair and honest, providing sound leadership and demanding respect. He also wasn’t afraid to knock someone back in line when they needed it. Reno smiled ruefully recalling that in the early days he’d been on the receiving end of that discipline more than once.
“I saw you dancing with Johansson. You two still at each other’s throats?” Fielding looked at him while sipping the amber contents of a shot glass; likely whiskey Reno decided, having spent more than one night drinking with the man.
“Jones?” He chuckled, thinking of the exasperated look on her face whenever he used the name. “We made our peace… sort of.”
“I thought so when you two disappeared for a while.” He handed Reno a napkin. “You might want to wipe her lipstick from your face. Makes you look like a sissy.”
Reno ignored the napkin. Using his hand, he wiped his mouth and stared down at the smear of colour as he relived the feel of her lips moving against his, her tongue sliding over his. He cleared his throat. “Thanks.”
“I just stopped in for a quick drink. A couple of the department heads and I think we have a plan in place for… ” he paused and glanced around, then lowered his voice to a near whisper, “dealing with the Purists. There are just a few minor points I need to firm up first.”
“Anything I can help you with?”
Fielding took a sip of his drink and studied him over the rim before shaking his head. “Not really, but thanks for asking.”
“So when will you have something for my team?”
“Most likely by next week provided you don’t get sent on another case.” The captain set his glass down and pushed his chair back. “Well, I’ve said my goodbyes to Brandi, so I’m heading home. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Reno nodded and watched the other man leave. It wasn’t like the captain to stop in at Clancy’s though he supposed Brandi’s farewell had caused the exception. Unless there was an ulterior motive. Something had seemed ‘off’ about the captain tonight, but what? And why had the man been asking about his relationship with Brandi? Damn, just what he needed, the captain sniffing around and asking about his love life, not that he really had one, of course. Maybe some new rules were coming down about inter-departmental fraternization. Well, if there were it wouldn’t bother him.
Standing up, Reno made his way to the bar and ordered another beer. Casually leaning back on one elbow, he scanned the room. It was still crowded despite the late hour. Brandi had rejoined her friends at the table and seemed to be enjoying herself. He quirked his lips, thinking of how he’d miss matching wits with her, riling her up just to w
atch her cheeks flush with temper before she delivered a stinging comeback. God, she was a spitfire… and smart too. Keeping tabs on her cases had become his secret hobby and she was damned good at her job. Lycan Link knew when they sent her in there’d be no unanswered questions for the human population to mull over, no unexplained rumours floating around the local coffee shops.
While he’d never admit it, he always felt relieved when she appeared on a case, knowing the situation would be covered up and everyone would be safe. He wondered who would take her place and if they’d be half as good as she was. Al Zimmerman was decent, though in Reno’s opinion, the man had ridden his way up the ladder on Brandi’s coat tails.
“You’re drinking again.” Damien slid onto a bar stool beside him, his tone faintly accusing.
“Last one, I promise.” Reno sipped his drink, mindful of appearances as he hadn’t been earlier.
“Good.” Damien paused studying his own drink for a minute before continuing. “I got a call from a friend—Kane Sinclair. We were buddies back at the Academy.
“Kane?” Reno vaguely recalled the name. “Wasn’t he part of the Black Devils?”
“Yeah. There were three of us.” Damien gave a reminiscent smile. “Kane, Ryne, and myself. We raised hell everywhere we went.”
“Sounds like fun.” Reno took a pull of his beer and wondered why Damien was bringing up the past.
“We all said we’d never settle down but now Kane’s an Alpha and being mated next week. It’s a political alliance. Some girl he’s never met.”
Reno raised his brows. That didn’t happen very often anymore. It must be an older, traditional pack. “How’s he feel about it?”
Damien shrugged. “He’s not too worried. Kane was always the noble one; anything for the good of the pack.”
“Duty before self.” Reno nodded. “Sounds like he’s a dedicated Alpha.”
“Yeah. He stopped some of our more asinine ideas and actually cared about his grades, though he tried not to show it.”
Reno grunted still having no idea where the conversation was headed.
Damien sighed and frowned. “Kane says he’ll do his best to make the mating work, but I don’t know. He hasn’t even talked to her yet.”
“Any idea how the girl feels about it?”
“No. Kane says she doesn’t know. He’s pissed about it but can’t do anything. Guess her father’s real old school.” Damien sipped his drink again. “Beth thinks it’s just awful that they’re going to spring it on the girl like that.”
Reno grunted. “If she’s an Alpha’s daughter—especially in a traditional pack—she should know it’s a possibility.”
“Maybe.” Damien was silent for a moment. “Did I tell you Beth grew up in a totally human neighbourhood? No pack or anything. She’s more human than wolf on her outlook on things. I’ve actually been teaching her about our ways.”
Reno looked at Damien in surprise. He’d never pictured him having that sort of patience. Apparently Beth was bringing out some new depths in his partner. “That’s good of you. Different, but good.”
“Yeah.” Damien swirled his drink and chuckled softly. “Beth makes me see life in a whole new way. She thinks a lot and likes to have deep conversations about world issues. When she gets excited about something, her eyes sparkle and her cheeks turn red. Sometimes I disagree with her just to watch her get mad and start spouting off.”
A companionable silence fell between them. Damien seemed lost in thought and Reno kept a casual watch over the revellers on the far side of the room.
Suddenly Damien spoke again. “Do you really believe those letters we’ve been getting represent a threat? Will the Purists eventually come after us for helping the halves?”
Reno turned to look at his partner. The kid was dead serious which was unusual. Damien wasn’t one to worry. “Something in particular bothering you?”
Damien worked his jaw back and forth before answering. “The mistreatment of halves. It’s wrong.”
“Yeah, but it’s nothing new. You’ve been dealing with it for three years now.”
“That’s just it. Three years, dammit! Why the hell doesn’t Lycan Link just tell the Purists to stuff their ideas up their asses?” He punctuated his comment by slamming his drink down, the volume of his voice rising.
“Shh! You trying to give the DC officers some work?” Reno nudged Damien in warning then smiled at the few patrons who had looked their way, perhaps hoping for a fight to break out and provide some impromptu entertainment. When nothing else happened, the people soon lost interest and returned to watching the activities on the dance floor.
“Sorry.” Damien hunched his shoulders and stared down at his drink while speaking in a quieter tone. “It just makes me mad to think that Beth could be targeted by the Purists simply because her blood isn’t as pure as they’d like it to be.”
“We’re working on it. You’re working on it by being part of the team, but it takes time. The Purists have been spreading rumours for years now, creating unrest, getting weres to question Lycan Link’s authority and its more modern interpretation of The Book of the Law. Headquarters is treading carefully, trying not to offend the more conservative packs while still moving forward with reform. If they start striking down the traditional rights of the Alphas there could be a backlash. Some even think that’s part of the Purists’ strategy.”
Damien ran his hands through his hair, his frustration obvious. “I know. You don’t have to give me the lecture. I was there at all the briefings, remember?”
“You were there, but were you listening?”
“I was but it never touched close to home until now.” Damien traced circles in the condensation that had gathered on the surface of the bar. “You ever been in love, Reno?”
“Me?” He looked over his shoulder at Brandi. She was dancing with Brad again and he resisted the urge to go over there and separate them. Brad was such a man-whore. Surely, Brandi could see that! “Nah, not really.”
Damien followed the path of his gaze and smirked. “So you say.”
Reno felt a flush rising on his face and jerked his eyes away from the couple. “We’re talking about you, not me.”
“Yeah, well, I’m in love with Beth and it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. All my life I’ve been alone, sort of on the outside looking in. But when I met her I suddenly knew she was the one. She looks at me like I’m her hero and something inside me comes to life. I want to protect her and keep her safe, make sure she never gets hurt.” He tightened his jaw. “With her, I don’t feel like a rogue, an outcast that nobody wants.”
Reno shifted uncomfortably. Maudlin conversations weren’t the norm for his partner. Maybe the kid had had more to drink than he realized. God, they were both fucked up tonight it seemed. “Don’t worry. The chances of the Purists ever touching her are slim. They’re still sticking to the backwaters. And the threatening letters are just a bunch of hot air. They’ll never amount to anything.”
Damien gave a faint smile. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’m just crying in my beer because Beth had to leave. She’s working the night shift at the local pharmacy.”
Reno nodded. It must suck to be separated from the one you loved. He turned on his seat and stared across the room at Brandi again and sipped his beer thoughtfully. Not that he’d know about that, of course.
Chapter 15
The next morning, Reno dragged himself into work, fell into his chair and stared across the room at the bleary image of his partner. Damien was already working on his computer and looked as if he’d been up for hours.
“Hey.” He grunted the greeting and eyed the coffee pot across the room. He’d love to have some but it seemed too damned far away. His body felt like he’d been part of a stampede—the ground the cattle had stampeded over that is.
“What’s the matter with you?” Damien looked up at him with a quirked brow. He seemed disgustingly alert. “You look like something the cat coughed up on the floor.”<
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Reno couldn’t summon the energy to even snarl over the comment. Instead, he rubbed his gritty eyes. “Shit, I’m hung over.”
“You can’t be hung over from last night. Clancy only serves human strength alcohol.”
“Yeah.” Reno blinked trying to focus and forced himself to stand up. Coffee. He needed coffee. “I have a stash of the good stuff at home.”
“And you decided to drink it all in one night?” Damien leaned back and clasped his hands behind his head, an evil grin spreading on his face. “That’s a dumb-ass thing to do. I thought you old guys were supposed to be smarter than that.”
Reno didn’t bother answering. Instead, he focussed on keeping his hand steady so the hot liquid he was pouring went in the cup and not on his skin. After successfully completing the tricky task, he took a sip and grimaced. The coffee was as thick as tar and must have been made hours ago. Still, it was coffee.
Leaning against the wall, he took another sip and closed his eyes, feeling it slide down his throat and hit his gut. Said gut protested momentarily but sheer force of will made it accept the offering. Reno sighed relieved he hadn’t puked, and opened his eyes. Damien was staring at him, the teasing grin having been replaced by concern.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. I just couldn’t sleep. Weird dreams.” He ran his hand through his hair and then scrubbed his face as if the action could erase the memories. “So I got up and decided to have a drink.”
“A drink? Or the whole bottle?”
“Something like that.”
“Because of Brandi?”
Reno shifted his eyes and stared across the room, tightening his mouth. Sometimes the kid was too damned perceptive for his own good.
“Reno, you might bitch and complain but I know there’s something between you. Beth even noticed last night. When Brandi’s around, you follow her with your eyes. When she’s the DC officer on one of our cases, you never relax until she’s out of that particular pack’s territory. You care about her.”
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