by Laura Acton
She started to cry … again. Not silent, soft tears but full on, snot-producing, red-rimmed, blood-shot eyes, heart-rendering, soul-shearing sobs. Her heart desperately wanted something she couldn’t have. As she wept, she wondered which room he was in and how he was doing. She was so close yet so far away. Fate was always so unkind to her.
Kaitlin wrapped Lexa in her arms. Her daughter’s heart cried out to her, and she wished to offer her motherly comfort in a mortal way so Lexa would feel her embrace and truly hear her words of wisdom. She did the next best thing … she guided Lexa here. As much as Lexa believed she shouldn’t come, she needed to. Her girl would never forgive herself if she neglected Dan.
She also realized Samael’s efforts to garner a foothold would continue and might succeed if Lexa turned her back on Dan now. Her loving daughter must show compassion and friendship for him to protect him from the dark demons Samael would send while Dan was at his weakest.
In a soft, lilting voice, Kaitlin whispered, “You need to visit him. You love Dan, and he needs your friendship. You can’t ignore him in his time of need. He would never leave you alone to face the darkness.
“Dan demonstrated his love for you in all his actions. He hates hospitals, but he was there for you every single day after you were shot. His words encouraged you when you were at your lowest point worrying you might not make it back to TRF. He held you in his strong arms when you faltered, and never allowed you to believe for one moment you wouldn’t return.
“I understand this is exceptionally hard for you. I promise you will never regret showing him you still care. He is your soulmate … the only man you will ever love with your entire heart.
“Please heed me tonight. Go in, hold Dan’s hand, show him compassion, be his friend for now … the rest will work out in time, but you must be patient and ensure the demons which seek to pull Dan from the light do not succeed.”
Lexa’s tears ebbed, and she rubbed her ear as an urgent need to visit Dan compelled her to dry her eyes, and blow her nose. Though Dan would likely be asleep, she would hold his hand and whisper encouragement to him as he had done for her. If Boss allowed them both to stay on the team, they must learn to be only friends again … though her heart wanted more.
St. Michael’s Hospital – ICU Entrance – 11:50 p.m.
Although well after visiting hours, Lexa exited the elevators and headed for the intensive care unit. Approaching the entrance, she spotted Trevor, armed and wearing his tactical vest, accompanied by a uniformed officer. Evidently, everyone in TRF took the threat against Dan seriously, for which she was glad. With the ex-cops still on the loose, he might still be at risk and Lexa didn’t want them to hurt Dan again.
“Hey, Lexa. Glad to see you. Miss having you to spar with, hope you’ll be back with us soon.” Trevor of Echo Team said as Lexa halted. He noted her red-rimmed eyes but didn’t comment on them. Alpha was the most tight-knit team of all five TRF teams, and this must’ve hit her below the belt, as it did all of them, to find out former cops tried to kill Dan … and damned-near did.
“Thanks. Miss being there too.”
Trevor glanced at his wristwatch. Almost midnight. He had a moment to spare for Lexa before he needed to relieve his teammate. “Kinda late for you to be visiting? Shouldn’t you be home resting?”
“Just finished a late workout and thought I would come check on Dan.” Wanting to know which one of the team she would be facing, hoping it wouldn’t be Boss, she asked, “Who is in the room with him?”
“Grand Dame Ridgewater.”
“Who?”
“Not aware of all the particulars, but apparently Dan is acquainted with her, and she was the last victim of Snow and his cronies. Bram said Dan is worried about her, so she’s under our protection too. Your team is setting a trap at her home, hoping to catch the assholes who almost killed Dan.”
“I wasn’t aware they’re doing that. Only Alpha, or is another team or the task force involved?”
Trevor shared what little he gleaned about the plan with Lexa before concluding, “After making arrangements, they hustled out of here about seven. I hope they succeed. Cops like Snow give us a bad rep. Dan did the right thing to turn them in.” Trevor rechecked the time. “Sorry, gotta head down to relieve Sean.”
“Uniform staying here?” Lexa glanced at the other constable.
“Yep. Loki set up a sweet system for us to monitor all the entrances from the security room. If any of those scumbags show up, Loki’s software will alert us based on a smoking-fast facial recognition program he created. Take care, Lexa, hope to catch you around HQ soon. Don’t be a stranger while you rehab.” Trevor hurried towards the elevator.
Lexa pushed open the double doors to the ICU and drew in a deep breath, held it a moment, before exhaling heavily.
St. Michael’s Hospital – ICU Hallway – 11:55 p.m.
Lexa took halting steps towards Dan’s room, noting every room contained a patient. Tonight appeared to be a busy one for the hospital staff. Most were likely victims of the commuter train accident which occurred this afternoon which led to the capture of three of the fugitives.
Apprehension resurged in her and unsure whether to keep going, Lexa came to a stop several paces from his room. She wanted so badly to go in and thread her fingers through his hair, knowing it brought him comfort, but the action would be counter-productive to not confusing him.
Uncertain how to go about showing him friendship without raising his hopes, she inched forward to the edge of the glass of his bay. He would likely be on strong pain meds from Loki’s descriptions of his injuries. That might work in her favor … she could claim he hallucinated her actions … wishful thinking on his part. But no … she couldn’t lie to him.
Lexa spotted an elderly woman standing next to his bed and studied her. Wearing a navy-blue, A-line dress with cream piping, and sensible pumps, Ridgewater embodied grace and decorum. Her snow-white hair was styled in a classic bob. Her face reflected grandmotherly concern for Dan as she stroked his golden hair and spoke words Lexa couldn’t overhear.
She could not force herself to go into the room and disturb the woman who offered Dan what she couldn’t give him … a gentle, loving touch. She wondered how well Dan knew this lady. For Ridgewater to behave in that manner, she must be a close acquaintance or family friend.
Shifting her gaze to Dan, tears welled as she glimpsed the state of his swollen and battered face. Her tender heart crying, Lexa placed her hand on the window, wanting to caress him, tell him he would be alright, and she was here for him like he was for her. How can I be only friends with the man I love? How do I let him go? Why can’t I choose him over the team?
Lexa understood why. Men could not be trusted to be constant. Her father and brothers taught her a painful lesson. If she gave herself wholly to him and Dan’s love dimmed with time, or he discarded her for any reason, she would never recover. She would possess an irrevocably broken heart.
As a nurse and an orderly approached Dan’s room, Lexa decided to leave without going inside. When she removed her hand from the glass, Ridgewater spotted her, and they locked gazes for several seconds. Lexa perceived compassion in the older woman’s brown eyes. She will be there for Dan until his mother arrives. He doesn’t need me to hold his hand. I must release my love.
Tears leaked out and ran down her cheeks as she turned away from the man her heart desired. Each forced step from Dan brought her pain. I will rebuild my fortress to protect my heart as his love for me disappears.
Learning to Smile and Laugh Again
23
May 9
St. Michael’s Hospital – ICU Room D – 12:05 a.m.
Bella peered at the orderly who entered with Dan’s nurse and moved towards the bed, unlocking the braking mechanism on the wheels. “Who are you and where do you think you are taking him?”
“Ma’am, we are going down for the repeat CT scan. Dr. Fraser ordered one to determine if surgical intervention is necessary for the he
patic laceration,” Sherry said to calm the protective woman. The elderly lady allowed no one to come close to the patient unless she understood the reason. A real mama bear.
Dan stirred at the voices and pain intruded in his world. Opening his eye, he turned to his left as Bella spoke. She is actually here. I thought I dreamed her. Thank goodness Bella is safe.
“I’m going with him,” Bella put her hand on the railing.
“Sorry, ma’am, you aren’t allowed to be in the x-ray room.”
“I will accompany him downstairs and wait outside the room.”
His thinking less muddled, Dan said, “Bella?”
In an instant, Bella turned her gaze to Danny. “I’m here. I’m not leaving you for one second, my boy.”
He attempted a smile, causing his lip to crack open again. “I’ll be okay. Stay here and rest.”
Bella dabbed the blood at the corner of Dan’s mouth. “Are you certain?”
“Yeah.” Dan felt something in his hand, and although moving hurt like hell, he lifted and opened his fist, revealing a penny. His gaze shifted back to Bella, and he smiled again not caring about his stinging lip. “Will you hold this for me? No metal allowed in the scanner.”
“Absolutely. I’ll be right here when you return.” Bella kissed his forehead and cleaned away his blood again before they wheeled Danny out.
St. Michael’s Hospital – X-ray Department
Dan vaguely recalled Bella showing him the penny earlier. The drugs made him loopy and disjointed. Although he hurt a lot, he didn’t want any pain meds, wanting his wits about him.
“Alright, we’re going to shift you to the platform, let us do all the work,” Jay, the radiologist, said as he moved to the patient’s upper body while the orderly remained at the foot of the gurney.
Gritting his teeth as they transferred him, Dan fought waves of pain and teetered on the edge of blacking out.
“Are you claustrophobic?”
“No.”
“Would you like to listen to music? The scan can be rather loud.”
“Sure.”
“What do you like?”
“Anything but soft rock … I’ll crawl out of here if you play that crap.”
Jay chuckled but noted the pain etched on the face below him. “How about classical music to help you relax since this will take some time?
“Yeah, okay. I like classical.”
“It is important you don’t move,” Jay instructed before slipping a pair of headphones on his patient and pressing the button to move the motorized platform into the scanner. Once he positioned things properly, Jay went to the booth to begin the computer tomography procedure.
Chopin’s Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 began, and Dan’s thoughts turned to Bella. This was one of her favorites. He learned to appreciate Beethoven, Chopin, Mozart, Bach, and many other composers while living with her. Relief and love swept through him, Bella, his second mother, was safe from Snow.
Bella always cared and never allowed any harm to come to him. With her delicate touch and gentle nature, she cracked his impenetrable self-imposed shell. She was the one who helped him understand he controlled his life and could decide what path to follow. He drew strength from her to defy his father’s wishes to enlist in the military.
The two years with her had been some of his best. He started exploring who he was and what he desired from life. Bella removed all rigidity, schedules, and commands. No counselors forced down his throat at every turn. She gave him options and allowed him to make the decisions. If he asked for guidance or advice, she freely gave counsel in a balanced manner.
Bella presented him the option to go right back to school or wait until the following year. He requested her opinion, and she provided it but made sure he comprehended she would support whatever he chose. He elected to hold off enrolling at Toronto High until the next scholastic year.
He only needed six classes to graduate, so Bella suggested he take three required courses and three electives each semester as this would allow him to explore and develop his interests. She also encouraged him to join sports or clubs which appealed him and simply have fun. A new concept to him, or rather a renewed one that died along with Sara which Bella resurrected.
A surge of warmth for Bella flooded him as Dan recalled that while he waited for school to begin, she proposed he sign up with a club which planned outdoor adventures. With minor coaxing from Wilson, who offered to accompany him on any outings if he wished, Dan joined the Epic Adventures Club. The members were all adults, but that was okay since he spent most his life with grown-ups anyway. Between February and August of his sixteenth year, Dan learned to laugh and smile again.
In the remaining winter months, he went to Bella’s chalet near Lake Louise several times with her and Bella’s grandkids. That is where he met Jacqueline and Caspian Ridgewater. Caspian taught him how to snowboard, and it was also when he tagged Jacqueline with the Junior Dame, JD, moniker.
With the club, he enjoyed many outings of cross-country and downhill skiing, snow-kiting, and ice climbing. He even learned how to build an igloo and drive a dog sled during the weeklong trip to participate in his first Frostbite 45 Marathon. The day long, forty-five-kilometer running and skiing marathon through the backtrails between Yellowknife and Prosperous Lake was a blast. His team from the adventure club came in third overall.
The spring and summer brought warmer temperatures, and Dan enjoyed a ton of new exploits. Wilson taught him to drive, and he often rode ATVs and motorcycles at a local track. He went camping, hunting for elk, fishing, rock climbing, hiking, canoeing, zip-lining, and skydiving. He played paintball, soccer, basketball, and rugby. Wilson also took him to a shooting range whenever he expressed a desire to practice his marksmanship.
With so much going on during his first six months at Bella’s, it didn’t matter he had no friends. Sure, he interacted with club members, but he never allowed anyone too close, it was too risky. After the shower attack at Hillview High, he became wary and trusted only Bella and Wilson.
He jumped anytime he failed to notice someone come into a room. Wilson shared with him an exercise to help hone his listening skills. Never wanting to be surprised again, Dan spent hours with his eyes closed, concentrating on noises, learning to distinguish different sounds. An ability which he used later in his life to keep himself and his brothers alive in the field.
As Dan’s mind continued to wander the past, he recalled a fateful summer day which became a catalyst for a life-altering revelation. It was the day after he returned home from his first camping trip with Epic Adventurers. Somehow, he got separated from the other campers and ended up lost for three days.
He had been so alone, scared, hungry, and disoriented as he searched the woods for the group. At one point he believed they left him deliberately, but they had not. Greg, the leader for the event, contacted Bella as soon as they realized he didn’t set up his tent the first night. Though Wilson had not accompanied him on the trip, he led the search party which found him on the third day.
Wilson being there was a surprise and relief since he had been embarrassed at being discovered shaking like a leaf and crying less than a mile from camp. Wilson earned his trust when he didn’t judge him or make him feel like an idiot for getting lost. And when he requested, Wilson took him straight home.
Bella recognized the incident shook his confidence. She seemed to possess a sixth sense and often understood what he required before he did. He owed Bella more than he could ever repay. She always went above and beyond to make sure he was taken care of and received whatever he needed.
The day after they came home, Bella entered his room, smiled, sat on his bed, and listened to him as she caressed his head. When he finished pouring out his fears, she told him she wanted him to meet a couple of men. She led him to a room in the basement of her home.
His eyes almost popped out of his head when he viewed the changes to the previously empty and unused room. She created a workout room for him. Mirrors cov
ered the entire surface of one wall. The concrete floor now had thick mats. One section of the room contained a full set of weights with benches, a pull-up bar, and a heavy bag hung from the ceiling.
Two men stood waiting for him, and one of them wore a karate Gi. Bella introduced Basil Barkle, who asked to be called Buzz and Bas Duchatteau who went by Dutch. When Bella revealed they were Special Forces soldiers, Dan backed into the far corner of the room as dread raced through him.
He wanted nothing to do with the general or anyone connected to him. Anything to do with his father meant orders, control, condemnation, failure, fear, and total rejection. Bella softly explained they came to visit of their own accord during their three-month leave between tours. And although his father was their commanding officer, them being there was not at his behest. As she tried to calm his anxiety, Wilson entered.
As he warily scrutinized Buzz, Dutch, and Wilson, they heartily hugged each other and Buzz wiped tears away when he told Wilson he missed him and was so happy to be able to spend time with him again. Dan’s mouth gaped when the three men started joking around with one another.
Their actions were the antithesis of all he perceived to be appropriate behavior for military men. Dan never witnessed soldiers openly hugging and expressing joy and humor. A soldier must repress all emotion, well, except for anger. The general was a grandmaster at displaying rage.
And men, soldier or not, didn’t cry in front of other men. Hell, real men never cried. And they sure as hell didn’t hug. Greetings should be a salute or firm handshake depending on ranks.
Wilson noted his confusion and came over to explain when he was leading a Special Forces unit, eons ago, Buzz and Dutch had been rookies on his team. The revelation, shocked Dan, unaware until that moment Wilson had been in the military.
At first, he didn’t want to listen, believing he had been duped somehow into trusting someone who might be spying on him for the general. Patiently, Wilson and Bella convinced him differently.
Once he settled down, Wilson shared Dutch and Buzz were his brothers, not by blood, but brothers nonetheless. They protected one another and always had each other’s backs no matter what. He trusted them with his life and chose these men as a family. Wilson told him they came without hesitation when he called them last night to request their assistance.