by Laura Acton
Tears came to Niko’s eyes as he moved through the throng of people who came to support one another in their grief. As liquid trailed down his cheeks, he stopped at Henry’s table to set down a photo of Henry from last Christmas.
“I’m going to miss you, Henry.” Choking up, Niko halted and wiped his face. Vivian rubbed his back, offering comfort, as one of their friends handed him a beer.
Inhaling and sniffing, not caring if patrons witnessed him crying, Niko’s gaze roamed over the friendly, yet saddened faces. “Henry was one in a million and will be missed by each of us. He brought joy into our lives. I loved listening to his tall-tales … or what I thought were stories too extraordinary they couldn’t be true. Today, I discovered how amazing Henry Cooke was.
“He shared a story with me about how his Sarge didn’t want them to waste ammo, so he needed to kill four birds with one bullet. I believed it to be solely his imagination, but …” he trailed off as raw emotion welled up when he realized he facilitated Henry’s end by taking him to the impound lot.
Vivian squeezed her husband’s shoulder. “Please share.”
Niko continued after taking a sip of beer, “A package was waiting for me on my doorstep when I returned this afternoon and confirmed his story was true … well, for the most part.” A grin grew. “Henry told me on a hunting trip he once dispatched multiple birds with only one shot. The truth is more remarkable. Henry received the Star of Military Valour for his actions.
“I know because the package contained his service medals and letters detailing each award. Henry’s unit was sent in to rescue five Canadian diplomats and their families during a communist-backed Sudanese coup d’état. The six-man team and twenty civilians came under heavy fire and became trapped. Everyone almost out of ammo and no backup available, Henry’s Sergeant sent him high to scout for possible escape routes.
“At significant risk to himself and with devotion to duty, Henry went with only three bullets left for his sniper rifle, and his sidearm empty. Once he attained a position which allowed him visibility to the enemy combatants, he spied a massive amount of firepower and by his count about forty hostiles. With no egress options, Henry lined up a shot.
“His bullet went through four men and struck a block of C-4. The resulting explosion killed thirty more, and injured the remaining, eliminating the threat. Henry’s single shot saved his unit and the civilians … one of whom is our current Prime Minister … David Alexander.”
The hushed room absorbed Niko’s details and wondered how many other stories Henry shared had been altered to benign and humble hunting stories, instead of death-defying heroics in defense of their country.
Niko raised his beer high. “To Henry’s Justice … ridding the world of evil while protecting the innocent … one bullet at a time.”
Everyone raised a glass and toasted their cherished friend, before resuming their impromptu memorial of Henry Cooke, a man who made a difference.
Daughter of My Heart
46
May 21
Nick’s Home – 7:00 p.m.
Lexa stood outside Nick’s place wondering when she became a coward. Although she arrived fifteen minutes ago, she sat in her Jeep for ten minutes, and waited at the end of the walkway for five more … afraid to knock on the door. She bit her lower lip pensively and admitted to herself she feared rejection, concerned Boss might say she had been booted from the team. She was also scared he no longer trusted or cared about her.
Nick noted Lexa’s arrival as soon as her vehicle stopped at the curb. He patiently waited for her to ring the bell. Her internal struggle and apprehension plainly visible on her face as he viewed her on his security monitor. He wanted her to chose to announce herself, but Nick could take no more of watching her wrestle with fear, so he strode to his door.
As he reached the front door, she knocked, and he smiled. That’s my girl. You are strong and courageous. Nick opened the portal with a neutral expression. “Lexa, come in, please. Can I offer you a drink? Water, iced tea, soda, juice, or coffee?” he said as she followed him into the kitchen.
“Tea would be nice,” Lexa replied choosing a seat on the south side of Boss’ kitchen table when he indicated with a wave of his hand. As he poured their beverages, she attempted to read him, but her emotional state made it difficult to penetrate his calm façade.
Nick returned with two tall glasses filled with ice cubes and tea. He handed one to her before sitting in the chair perpendicular to her position. “How are you feeling lately? How is rehab going?” he asked in a conversational tone.
Before answering, Lexa squeezed a wedge of lemon into her glass, then took a sip. “Well. I’m working with a new therapist. Stewart is demanding, but I’m improving fast.”
“I’m happy to hear that.” Both sat silent, awkwardly sipping tea for several minutes until Nick decided to start with easier topics. He tried to contact her after shift on the seventeenth, but her response to his voicemail to call him was a brief and to the point text … we’ll talk on the 21st. “I’m sure Loki or Ray told you, but Ray will not face any charges.”
Lexa smiled with genuine relief for Ray. “Yes. Loki explained what happened.” The grin faded as her thoughts moved from how Agent Kendall helped Ray and the flying monkey wars Loki described to the sad end of Henry Cooke. She broke her silence asking, “Did Mr. Cooke have any family?”
“Not blood relations, but I attended his funeral this morning. The church was packed. His friend Niko gave a beautiful eulogy and shared the acts of valor detailed in the award letters of the honors Henry received while serving in the military.”
Lexa nodded. “Sad, he died that way, but in a way, I understand his choice … cancer is not an easy way to die.”
Nick wanted to reach out a hand and cover hers to offer comfort as Lexa’s eyes assumed a faraway gaze and filled with sadness, but he refrained. Though he understood she likely recalled her mother’s death after a long battle with cancer, now was not the time to be her surrogate father, he must be her sergeant, particularly with the subjects they must discuss.
Shaking away long-ago thoughts of witnessing her mom’s slow decline, Lexa inhaled sharply and exhaled in a huff. “I’m not sure what it says about me, but I can’t muster any sympathy for those four dirty cops. I find no redeeming quality in any of them. Their actions harmed so many.” Lexa hated them chiefly for what they did to Dan but left that out.
Recalling Lexa’s rant when she found out about Loki’s injury, Nick said, “I owe you an apology for not communicating with you when Loki was hurt and after I discovered Dan’s family moved him. It was not my intention to leave you out. Team is family, and I should’ve called you. The only thing in my defense is the long hours and highly emotional nature of everything that transpired. I’m sorry if I made you question your place in this family.”
Though being overlooked still hurt a bit, Lexa forgave him. “Loki explained everything. I recognize you all were under extreme emotional and physical duress and it is understandable given the circumstances. No apology is necessary. However, I still don’t comprehend, and Loki couldn’t tell me, why was Dan on vacation when he was abducted?”
And there is the crux of the matter. I can no longer avoid the topic. He rubbed his face, alerting Lexa to his nervousness with his habit. Forcing his hands to the table, he met her gaze. “I witnessed you two kissing on your birthday. I wanted to put off discussion of the ramifications until you were closer to returning to the team, but …” Nick halted, unsure how to continue.
“What?”
This would be delicate, he had given his word to the others not to reveal they knew about the relationship, but he didn’t want to lie to Lexa either. “But when Dan’s behavior changed, I couldn’t. He became withdrawn … his head not quite in the game. Refused Loki and Ray … and me when we invited him out to the Pond. Thought it was about Brody …”
He took a deep breath and exhaled gradually as thoughts of last year and what Jon shared about t
he pistol on the nightstand. Thank goodness Jon took it with him, or else Dan might not be alive today. Nick refocused on Lexa. “With the anniversary of Brody’s death looming on the horizon… well, I believed the shift in his mood to be related to the loss of his best friend.”
Nick decided to sidestep Jon’s verbal bashing of Dan, fearing Lexa might be driven to bruise Jon, but a little more of the truth was necessary because if Lexa and Dan spoke, this might come out and Nick didn’t want to ruin his friendship with Lexa. “Jon noticed too and rode Dan hard on the sixth. We … I decided Dan, Jon, and I needed to discuss things that night.”
“Jon is aware of the fraternization between Dan and you.” When Lexa gaped at him with disbelieving eyes which asked how, he said, “Apparently, he witnessed you two in the Timmy’s lot. He got the wrong impression based on Dan’s words to you. I didn’t know he knew about it until Jon confronted Dan, believing Dan played with your heart.”
Lexa pursed her lips and lowered her eyes to stare at her hands gripping the tea glass tightly as memories of the hurtful things she said to Dan at Timmy’s flooded in. She released it, not wanting to shatter Nick’s glass like Dan’s heart. “I broke things off with Dan the night you saw us kiss. I sent his stuff back, and didn’t answer any of his calls or texts.”
She lifted her eyes to Boss and found the courage to admit, “I was vicious in how I broke up with him. I said things … things … mean things. I chose the team over him and told him I didn’t want to lose everything I value.”
Her voice quavered. “My choice of words implied he didn’t matter. I didn’t mean to hurt him … it’s just …” Tears rolled down her cheeks. “This team … you are my family, and I can’t lose another family. I’m a cop … that is who I am. You all accept me … my father didn’t. He abandoned me. So did my brothers.”
Nick slid a box of tissues to Lexa. Somehow, he anticipated tears, though Lexa typically didn’t cry, she usually used anger to cover her softer emotions, just like Jon. As Lexa wiped her eyes and blew her nose, Nick said, “Dan explained how and when things started between you.”
Lexa’s eyes widened with disbelief. “He told you about our one night stand the night before we found out we were going to be teammates? How I went to his room after meeting him in the bar?”
Displaying surprise, Nick shook his head at the new information. “Dan only indicated you met after you sent Sven packing and he was attracted to you. He didn’t share any intimate details … none. He claimed responsibility saying he pursued you, and you were the one to come to your senses and demand a return to a strictly professional relationship.”
Affected by Lexa’s renewed tears, Nick softened his tone as his desire to comfort her surged forth. “I think Dan did what Dan does. His words painted the whole situation as him being the one to blame, he was trying to shield you, but I believe he wasn’t quite forthright.”
Lexa shook her head as she eked out, “Takes two to tango. I’m as much at fault as him … maybe more. He was vulnerable when he joined our team. More so than any of us imagined at first. Dan needed something … someone … he lost so much, and he was grieving. I don’t have the same excuse.”
Sniffling and grabbing another tissue, Lexa scrubbed at her eyes, wishing they would quit watering. Her gaze dropping to the table again, Lexa exhaled with a sigh. “At first I disliked him. I went to the extreme because of the way Gambrill put him on Alpha Team and because of the night we spent together before he showed up at HQ. A kneejerk reaction to protect myself. But when I realized what happened to him, and how poorly I treated him …”
She sought out the kind eyes of her surrogate dad, hoping for understanding and receiving it when compassion reflected in the warm, hazel orbs of Boss. “He was so wounded. I wanted to right my wrong and be a friend. I reached out to him at every opportunity and encouraged him. He opened up to me, and I came to understand who he is on the inside … not only the stoic soldier he shows to the world. I liked what I discovered.”
Blinking away more tears, Lexa covered her mouth with her hand as she fought not to sob. Gaining a modicum of control, she continued, “I’m to blame. I knew better. I’m the one who kept asking him out for a burger and a beer. I liked talking with him. He was so relaxed outside of work … a different man. I … I … led him on, gave him the wrong impression … then I … this is my fault.”
Nick clasped Lexa’s hand and squeezed. “I’m responsible too. I relied on you to make a connection with Dan to fix what we all had a hand in breaking. I pushed you together. I made him your partner because you were able to open Dan up and we all learned about him listening to the two of you bantering during shift. And back in December, I failed to heed my intuition and asked you to keep a close eye on Dan when he returned to the team.”
Lexa shook her head again. “I crossed the line before you asked. I lied to you … broke yours and the team’s trust. The real reason I arrived late the day of the gang war is because I invited Dan back to my place the night before and my keys ended up in his bag, and he left with them in the morning.”
Unwilling to view the pain she caused, Lexa shut her eyes. “I broke protocol knowing what I risked. When I found Dan lying in the ravine after Basto beat him, something inside cracked. And in the hotel room, after we found out what happened to his sister and what Plouffe put him through, I kissed Dan again. I could’ve ended it … should’ve ended things, but … I didn’t.”
Nick recalled the sensations he had watching them interact during the NRB interview and later. He grasped he failed both of them. He should’ve interceded and perhaps avoided this whole fiasco. Lexa’s next statement halted his self-flogging, as the details of reality layered on top of a complicated situation.
“Then Merrill shot Dan at the church.” Opening her eyes, Lexa peered at Boss. In for a penny, in for a pound. “Dan almost died and that crushed all of us. The more I learned about him from his uncles, cousins, and Blaze’s unit while Dan was in the coma, the more I was drawn to him.”
With another shaky breath out, she confessed, “He woke up when I kissed him. His first word was my name. I never had anyone gaze into my soul the way he did when his sapphire eyes latched on mine. I secretly visited him in Ottawa many times while he recovered. Early on, I didn’t think his lungs would recover, or he would make it back, so I allowed myself to be drawn in deeper. Dan’s the first man to ever get past my defenses.”
“And a third date.” Nick tried to insert a little humor with a slight grin as he said, “Probably because his name doesn’t start with S.”
Despite her state of mind, Lexa chuckled slightly and smiled. “Yeah, there is that too. When he did return …” Lexa searched for the right words, not really finding them she heaved a sigh.
Though wanting to supply the words for her, Nick remained silent as she struggled with her emotions. Some of what Lexa shared he didn’t know, like Dan waking to her kissing him or that she traveled to Ottawa during his rehab. It broke his heart that she must choose between a man who clearly meant something to her and the job and team she valued. Life could be so unkind and unfair at times … something he comprehended and lived through when his Janie and Martin were taken from him by a senseless act of violence.
Tears welled again. “I’m sorry for lying to you, to the team, for sneaking around behind your backs, but … I wanted …” Lexa reached for more tissues and rubbed her leaky eyes.
Her bloodshot eyes met Nick’s gaze head-on. “Part of me wanted him, despite it being against the rules or perhaps because it is against protocol. It didn’t change how we did our jobs. We are both professionals and when on shift we apply the priority of life protocol without hesitation.
“When you caught us kissing at my party … I realized no matter how Dan and I behaved while working … you could not turn a blind eye. It would mean your job … I couldn’t do that to you.”
She worried her lower lip for several moments then sucked in a deep breath and exhaled raggedly, her pain so rea
l she wanted to scream. “I broke up with him. I choose the team … my family … over Dan.”
Wanting to be strong, but over the years with Nick, she found she didn’t always have to be. Tears sprouted again, and her voice came out soft and anguished, “Am I off the team? Am I fired?” So afraid of the answer her chin lowered as she wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her body.
Son of a bitch! She can’t handle being abandoned again. His heart fracturing as he witnessed Lexa’s small frame fold in on itself as she steeled herself for rejection, Nick comprehended he must be gentle and kind. He had a duty to deal with this but learned his lesson not to rush or be harsh. Terrible, horrible consequences resulted from the last time. They almost lost Dan because he was too severe and did not consider his words carefully.
Maintaining an air of authority, but at the same time infusing compassion, Nick said, “That depends on you and Dan.” Her head whipped up, and he wished to hold her, but he had to be her sergeant now so refrained.
Lexa stared at him a long moment before unevenly inquiring, “How does it depend?” She wiped her eyes again and sucked in another breath to steady herself and realized Nick never answered why Dan was not at work the day Snow and the others abducted him. “Did you boot Dan from the team or out of TRF?”
Detecting the slight tremor in her voice, Nick answered truthfully, “No. I decided he needed time off to come to terms with the end of your relationship. For his safety and that of the team, I insisted he take a two-week vacation. Not wanting to lie to the guys, I didn’t provide them with a reason for Dan’s unscheduled holiday. I allowed them to draw their own conclusions. Also, no official reprimands are logged for either one of you.”