I pulled back so I could see every fleck of gold in his green eyes. “This wasn’t just a choice between two lives. This was a choice between two loves.”
“Love?” The repulsion from earlier when Will said that word was replaced by warmth.
I nodded. “The prince told me he loved me last night. He promised me a life of ease and comfort and luxury. He stayed awake all night and searched for me all day. And I will admit, I was flattered.” I paused, overwhelmed by the clarity I felt. “The prince swept me off my feet, but you planted my feet firmly on the ground.”
Will smiled and touched his forehead to mine.
I smiled back at him and continued. “You have sacrificed for me. You have given so much. You have suffered when I’ve suffered. I saw pain in your eyes for my pain. You have shared my joys and have always been there to give me comfort and friendship. This is the kind of love I need. I don’t need someone to take me out of the fire so I don’t get burned; I need someone to walk through the flames with me. And I will do the same for you.”
My voice caught and I couldn’t say any more. I was in absolute awe of him. He had respected me enough to wait for me to come back to life so that I could feel again and let myself love again. He had even unselfishly stepped aside and given me the opportunity to fall in love with a prince, knowing that I could have been taken away, but wanting me to be happy.
I laughed softly. “How could I have been so blind?”
He laughed gently and held me close as he whispered in my ear, “I would have waited forever.”
All I could do was nod and try to blink back the tears. I knew he would have.
“Ella,” he murmured. My name sounded so beautiful on his lips, his voice low and soft.
“Yes?” I smiled.
He pulled back so he could look at me. “I want to offer you everything I have. I will do all I can to make you safe and comfortable and happy. It won’t happen all at once, but we’re going to make it. I know it can never compete with a palace and jewels and gold, but …”
I stopped him with a kiss. “There’s no competition.”
He grinned back at me, though I could still see a bit of uncertainty in his eyes.
“Will, all I need is you. When you told me that night by the fire that you had nothing to offer me, you were wrong. You are everything to me.”
He gently lifted both my hands, kissed my palms, closed his eyes, and whispered my name. I felt my tears roll down my cheeks and he kissed them.
“Will,” I whispered.
He looked at my face, which he cradled tenderly in his hands. He smiled at me, knowing what I was going to say and I knew he felt the same way.
“I love you,” we finally declared after years of waiting. We laughed softly together.
“Then it must be true,” I said.
Will kissed me again and then reached for my hand, which I placed eagerly in his. With my other hand, I reached into my apron pocket and felt my glass slipper. As we stood together on our rickety little bridge overlooking the pond, I reflected on the breathtaking view I had of the entire kingdom from the grand palace balcony where I had stood with the prince. From that magnificent vantage point, I could see my past and present, and I had wondered if I could see my future. I hadn’t realized it then, but my past, present, and future were all within my grasp, in the hand I now held in mine.
Epilogue
ELLA DUG HER HANDS IN THE SOFT SOIL, REVELING IN ITS richness. She pulled out a perfectly formed potato and placed it in her basket with a satisfied smile. She stood and pushed her long braid behind her shoulders so that it fell down her back and then she brushed the dirt off her long, dark blue dress.
“I’ll take that, ma’am.” Maude reached out for Ella’s basket of potatoes. “You know I can do this, ma’am.” Maude smiled and gestured to the garden and all the work they had just done.
“Thank you, Maude.” Ella smiled in return as she handed Maude her basket. “But you know I love to do it.” Maude nodded and carried both hers and Ella’s baskets into the kitchen. Ella looked out over the distant hills. Will and Peter should be back soon from their ride. She held up her skirts as she carefully stepped around the tender plants and paused at the very edge of the garden. She knelt down in front of the four headstones there, kissed her fingers, and touched them to each stone. The tender blades of grass hadn’t completely grown over the freshest grave and she lovingly stroked the soil, and let a few tears soak into it.
She let out a quiet sob, dried her cheeks with her clean corner of her apron, and sighed. She stood and walked over to the stable where the loud neighing of the horses frightened the birds off the roof. Patrick had just brought them in from their peaceful afternoon of grazing lazily in the sun.
“Good evening, Patrick,” Ella said as their head stableman walked around the corner with a bucket of oats.
Patrick’s wrinkled face lit up as he waved enthusiastically. “Good evening to you, ma’am!” He strode over to one of the stalls. “Peaches’ foot is healing up nicely. She should be good as new next month.”
“That’s wonderful news, Patrick. You and Will are miracle workers!” Ella cried.
Patrick’s tan skin glowed and he ducked his head. Ella laughed and stepped closer to the stall nearest to her. She affectionately stroked Old Charlie Horse’s soft nose and patted the subtly sagging skin under his chin. She gave him a handful of oats from the bucket and stepped out of the stable and to the barn. The cows were getting their evening milking as they chomped lazily on their hay. Ella’s eyes fell on the stall that had once been Lucy’s. Ella would never forget how that sweet cow had kept her and her family alive for so many years, especially during that first winter after she and Will were married. Ella absently rubbed her stomach, remembering the piercing hunger. Then she smiled at the memory of how blissfully happy they were even in the midst of their poverty.
Ella left the barn and made her way to the front yard. She passed the chicken coop, smiled at the clucking of the happily gossiping chickens, and tossed them a handful of corn. When she reached the front yard, she stood and admired the glorious roses that framed Ashfield. They were more beautiful than they had ever been. She cut various colored blooms and brought them inside. As she opened the heavy oak doors, the screeching sounds of a young girl learning to play the violin filled the air.
Ella entered the drawing room. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at her daughter standing in the rosy glow of the sunset, her violin on her shoulder, her bow jerkily moving back and forth across the strings. Ella slowly walked past the settee and stepped gingerly onto the rug that Elizabeth stood on.
“It sounds beautiful, sweetheart,” Ella whispered as she kissed the top of her daughter’s head. She smelled like sunshine.
Elizabeth dropped her bow and beamed up at her mother. “Thank you, Mama! It’s Grandfather’s favorite!”
“And you played it beautifully, darling. I’m sure he could hear it from heaven.” Ella kissed her one more time, and Elizabeth went back to her practicing, focusing on playing the music now and not just the notes.
On her way out of the room, Ella glanced down at Ruth Haywood’s most recent letter sitting on the drawing room table and smiled. Ever since the night of the ball, Ella had come to love and know Ruth as Ella had always longed to love and know her own mother. Aunt Ruth, as the children called her, would be coming to visit next month and everyone was delighted, especially Ella. She walked from the drawing room, through the formal living room, the foyer, the dining room with its white wallpaper with tiny forget-me-nots painted into the pattern, and into the kitchen. It was bustling with energy as the cooks prepared the evening meal. They smiled up at their mistress, and Ella smiled back.
“They should be home shortly. Thank you for keeping everything warm a little longer.” Ella breathed deeply. “It smells absolutely delicious in here,” she complimented.
“Of course it does,” said Maude with a broad smile. “It’s your recipe!”
; Ella grinned back as she made her way to the cupboard that held the vases, careful to stay out of the way of the bustling cooks, and lifted out her favorite one. It wasn’t extravagant, but it was precious to her. Will had brought Ella her first bouquet of flowers in it soon after she told him she was going to have their first baby. She smiled tenderly as she placed the flowers in the vase and filled it with water from the well.
As she carried the flowers upstairs, Ella ran her free hand along the glassy smooth whiteness of the banister. She stopped when she reached the first door at the top of the stairs and walked inside. Elizabeth’s room was one of the cheeriest rooms in the house. Ella placed the flowers on the table next to Elizabeth’s bed. She heard a soft wailing from the nursery down the hall.
Ella quickly left the room, walked to the nursery door, and quietly pushed it open. Little Henry had wiggled out of his blankets and was flinging his clenched fists in the air. Ella gently scooped him up and held him lovingly against her shoulder. Henry immediately calmed down and turned his head to her cheek.
“Are you hungry, little baby?” Ella crooned. She carried him to the wooden rocking chair in the corner by the window and fed him while he wrapped his dimpled hand around her finger. She smiled down at him and stroked his chubby legs and arms that were finally filling out. He had been such a tiny little thing when he was born. His twin brother had been even smaller and tragically had not survived delivery. It had broken Ella and Will’s hearts in two, mourning the death of one little one while rejoicing in the survival of the other. They had held each other on the bed and wept together in agony and in joy.
Little Henry dozed as he nursed, but his tiny fingers still held Ella’s tightly. After rocking him and patting his back for a moment, she carried him down the stairs and stood to look out the tall window that overlooked the stables. Ella heard the sound of hooves before she could actually see the horses and their riders. But when they emerged from behind the hill, a brilliant smile lit Ella’s face. She turned and the governess was standing behind her with a knowing smile.
“I’ll take him, ma’am,” she said as she held out her arms. Ella tenderly kissed Henry’s fuzzy head, gingerly transferred him to Molly’s arms, and then dashed to the kitchen and out the back door.
Will pulled his horse to a stop and was followed closely by Peter on his smaller horse. Before Will’s horse had completely stopped, Will jumped off and ran to Ella, picking her up in his arms and twirling her around.
“Oh, I missed you, my darling!” Will exclaimed.
Ella laughed breathlessly. “You’ve only been gone for a few hours.” She kissed him. “But I know exactly how you feel.”
Will placed Ella back on the ground and kissed her hand. “We saw Jane and Kenton while we were riding. They invited us over for supper tomorrow.”
“Wonderful!” Ella exclaimed. It had been three months since she had seen her friend. Jane had come to comfort Ella when her baby had died and to meet Little Henry.
Jane and the Prince were a beautiful couple with two adorable children. It had been delightful and satisfying to watch their love grow over the years and see how perfect they were together.
Peter overheard the conversation between his parents. “We’re going to Anne’s tomorrow?” he asked with a scowl. “She always pulls my hair,” he said as he absently rubbed his head. Princess Anne was a year younger than Peter and was a bit of a tease.
Ella laughed and reached over to tousle his brown curls and Peter’s face reddened. “Aw, Mama!” he said as he playfully pushed her hand away.
“You’re just too handsome for your own good, Pete,” she said, laughing. He blushed more deeply. “Where’s my hug, young man? I’ve barely seen you all day!” He laughed and threw his arms around his mother and she kissed the top of his head. “Go wash up for dinner.”
Peter ran to the well, and Will came to stand by Ella’s side. He took her hand. “We didn’t miss dinner?” he said with relief. He kissed her cheek. “Thank you for waiting for us.”
Ella gazed up at the man who had brought her back to life; who had starved with her in the early days of their marriage; who had laughed with her and cried with her and worked alongside her; who dreamed with her and strived to realize those dreams.
For a moment, she pictured her wedding gown that hung safely in her wardrobe, and the glass slippers that sat protected in their box beneath her gown. The first time she wore them, she was just beginning to see who she really was. The next time she wore them, she was a bride, marrying the man who had seen her for who she was all along. He made her feel like a princess and he would always be her prince.
She reached up her hand to touch Will’s face. “I would have waited forever,” she whispered.
Acknowledgments
FIRST, I WANT TO THANK MY HEAVENLY FATHER FOR BLESSING me with a love of words. I hope I have used them well. Also, for blessing me with people and experiences in my life that have taught me so much.
Thank you to my sweet Gary who has been unfailingly supportive and encouraging, for believing in me when I decided to do this crazy thing, and for showing me what true love looks like—always in all ways.
Thank you to my five adorable, sweet, hilarious, boys: Andrew, Ryan, Benjamin, Spencer, and Joseph. Thank you for supporting me and cheering me on. Someday I’ll write a “boy book” just for you. I love you so much it feels like my heart is going to explode.
Thank you to my amazing parents. Thank you Mom for listening to me for hours as I tried to figure out what in the world I was doing and why, and for being my number one cheerleader. Thank you Dad for your encouragement and for your photography, videography, editing, and audio expertise and your tireless (or very tired) hours helping me. I totally lucked out in the parent department. I love you!
Thank you to my amazing siblings: Robert, Jennifer, Angelyn, Kristine, Edward, and Carolyn. I love you more than I can say. To celebrate, let’s have popcorn and Orange Julius and watch home movies, or we can have Dad’s pancakes, bacon, and eggs. I’ll bring the shower caps! Thank you also to my siblings-in-law: Kristina, Josh, Shawn, Spencer, Lindsey, and Doug for your help and support. I owe you all cinnamon rolls and Danishes for years.
Thank you to my wonderful in-laws: George, Jean, Ann, Kelley, Tina, Lynn, Stephanie, Mark, Miranda, and Heidi for your love and support. I love you!
Thank you Natalie for being my beta reader before I knew there was such a thing, and for helping me keep writing even when it was plain old hard. I love you, Buddy!
Thank you my sweet Marilee for reading Ella and loving and understanding her from the very first horrendous draft. I love you, friend. I’ll meet you at the fence!
Thank you to Hannah Ballard for loving Ella from the very beginning and sending me beautiful emails that made me (and my husband and my mom and neighbor) cry for joy.
Thank you my dear Emma Parker for your incredible editing skills and for being the speediest email-sender-backer in the West! Thank you for your help and encouragement and friendship. We’re totally kindred spirits.
Thank you Greg Martin and Kelly Martinez for your invaluable help with marketing.
Thank you Rebecca Greenwood, Michelle May, and the design team for the breathtakingly beautifully perfectly perfect cover. I sure hope people judge the book by it.
Thank you Melissa Caldwell and Sarah Barlow, for helping me polish Ella until my brain hurt … but it was so worth it. You are meticulously brilliant!
Thank you Anne Shirley, Jo March, Elizabeth Bennet, and Jane Eyre. You continue to inspire.
Discussion Questions
What do you see are Ella’s greatest strengths? Flaws?
Do you feel that Ella’s reasons for staying at Ashfield were strong enough, or should she have escaped?
What do you think was Ella’s greatest/bravest/kindest moment? Or her weakest, most fearful moment? Can you identify with any of them?
Will and Kenton both love Ella in their own way. Why did one approach work and the other didn�
��t?
How did the power of forgiveness give Ella clarity to make important decisions?
What is the significance of the C. S. Lewis quote at the beginning of the book? How did Ella come back to life?
Ella battles feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. How do you think those feelings prevented her from loving and allowing herself to be loved?
ABOUT THE Author
JESSILYN STEWART PEASLEE WAS BORN THE FOURTH of seven children into a family of avid readers, music lovers, movie quoters, and sports fans. Jessilyn graduated from Brigham Young University with a BA in English, and also studied French and the humanities. She loves playing catch with her boys, singing, playing the piano, making Orange Julius and popcorn, and watching movies with her husband and five boys. She is very grateful to them for being so supportive while Mommy wrote her “girl book.” Jessilyn grew up in the beautiful high desert of Southern California and now resides in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains. As you read this, she is probably folding laundry … or should be.
© 2015 Jessilyn Stewart Peaslee
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form whatsoever, whether by graphic, visual, electronic, film, microfilm, tape recording, or any other means, without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles.
This is a work of fiction. The characters, names, incidents, places, and dialogue are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. The opinions and views expressed herein belong solely to the author and do not necessarily represent the opinions or views of Cedar Fort, Inc. Permission for the use of sources, graphics, and photos is also solely the responsibility of the author.
ISBN 13: 978-1-4621-2554-8
Published by Sweetwater Books, an imprint of Cedar Fort, Inc.
Ella: A Novel Page 20