by Emily Bex
“I never doubted you’d return, Shade. Our bond is too strong to be broken. But I feel such pain when the bond is stretched, and I feel I’ve lost you for even that break in time. Now carry me to our bed please and lay with me.”
“Put a leash on me, mi amore, because sometimes...I lose myself.”
Standing up, he felt her curl into his arms, her head on his chest, and a soft sob escaped him. He was still her warrior, her savage lover, her vampire. Kissing the top of her head, he slowly walked over to their bed as he left behind the pain with each step.
77
He was aware that it was a long time before his bel slept, her mind still troubled by the trauma of his memories, and his sudden exit from their bed. It wasn’t her fault, her actions dredged up memories of events he thought he’d buried, events where he was the tormenter, and not the tormented. Memories he was afraid to share with her, even now. But those experiences, part of a torrid tortured past, molded him. They showed him more about who he wasn’t than who he was, but they held him in their grip, like a sick addiction for far too many years. The sex cult, the women, the chamber at Castello. It was a time when the beast ruled the man, at Sabine’s urging, and the man followed willingly. A time when he succumbed to the deepest, darkest part of who he could be if he gave up his humanity. Sabine fed that in him, and it took every fiber of his being to break away from the twisted, deviant lifestyle that had nothing to do with love. It was a part of his past he hoped to hide from her.
His bel was all goodness and light. Her love was pure, and unconditional. Her love was healing. And despite their passion together, there was innocence in her he hoped she never lost. He tamped those memories down again, in the deepest recesses of his mind, and hoped the day would never come that he had to explain them to her. He was aware of just how much he hid from her about the true nature of his world.
His hunger was raging, and he looked down at her soft heartbeat as it pulsed in her neck and his body screamed for her. He couldn’t feed from her now. Luca was his only solution throughout this pregnancy. Sighing, he knew these past few nights had brought to her eyes a whole different view of vampire life. That incident between Rissa and the damn feeder, her over-hearing his feeding from Luca, and then his sudden departure from their bed, as his beast took control and those memories haunted him. His beast would never rule him like that again. He no longer feared the beast would take her the way others were taken, but he still had to remain on guard. He was grateful she stayed with him, loved him through it all.
He’d go to Luca, so he could survive and protect what was his. Shade climbed quietly from the bed, grabbed some jeans, sliding them over his hips, not bothering to button them, and headed to Luca’s quarters.
As he approached Luca’s suite, the door was slightly ajar, enough for him to see inside. He could hear Luca moving around, so Shade stepped into the doorway and peered in. Luca stood with his back to the door, shirtless and in jeans, before a large canvas. Shade quietly watched him paint, holding the palette of colors in one hand, and his other hand moving the brush deftly across the canvas.
Luca became aware of his presence and spun quickly to see Shade at his door.
“I need you. I am losing strength. Bel feeds deep and heavily now, with the bambino growing inside her.”
“Consume what you need, master, it is yours for the taking.”
Luca set aside the palette and the brush, wiping his hands on his jeans and exposed his neck to him fully, but Shade took his wrist instead and locked eyes with him.
“Not this time, Luca, I cannot feed from you in the traditional way tonight, just your wrist for now, I cannot offer you...release. She has been through too much and I cannot risk hurting her more. I will starve before I do that. She needs some time.”
Luca offered up his wrist. “It’s fine, master, I have someone I can go to for release. I don’t wish to make this more difficult for you or my lady.”
Before the words were out of his mouth, Shade sank his fangs deep and the intensity of his power railed through Luca’s body. It wasn’t the same level of eroticism as feeding from his neck, but it was master, and Luca would die for him.
As Shade’s hunger abated, he could feel his body rushing with this young warrior blood, it was so fresh, like sun ripened fruit, the taste bursting on his tongue. He drew only what he needed, not wanting to push Luca too far. Shade had enough on his plate and didn’t need to deal with Luca’s sexual appetites this night, nor his own. He just needed to take the fucking edge off and get back to bel. Licking Luca’s wrist as he unlatched, he turned to leave. “Luca, forgive me, please. I must return to her. You will be fine, si?””
Luca sighed as Shade fed much too quickly and it almost hurt when he extracted his fangs from him. His cock was hard and aching. “Yes, master, I’ll be leaving for a while. If you need me, call for me, I will return immediately.”
“Be careful,” Shade warned, “take a weapon. And let me know when you have returned, I will hear you in my death slumber. Now go.” Spinning on his heels to leave, Kate stood at Luca's doorway, looking in.
She had slept little, sleeping then waking, as the events of last night kept replaying in her head. What torments you, lover? What wounds your soul? She felt him as he lay beside her throughout the day, restless in his death slumber, and knew it played on his mind as well. She had finally drifted into a fitful sleep, and when she awoke in the darkened room of early evening, she discovered he’d slipped from their bed. She wondered if perhaps he’d left early for the Dead House.
Gi had already delivered the breakfast tray, loaded with food, and the two pills. So tonight was the night. She had such a huge appetite, and she knew it was the baby's demands. She ate everything he’d brought for her, and swallowed down the pills. “There you go, little one. Special nutrients to make you strong, like your father.”
She dressed and prepared to go downstairs when the memory of Luca, gently guiding her back into the house last night, came rushing back to her. What had she been thinking? The drama they had tossed him into. She must thank him. She must apologize. She walked to his suite and found the door was slightly open, and stepped inside and saw them. Shade, feeding from Luca's wrist, and Luca lost in the throes of a sensation she knew only too well. She put her hand on her belly, feeling the slight swell of it. “For you my little warrior, he does this for you.”
She regretted that she had interrupted this intimate moment. She turned to slip away unnoticed when Shade saw her.
“I'm sorry...I didn't mean to intrude. I thought you’d left for the Dead House. The door was open. Forgive me, please.”
Smiling, Shade went to her, enfolded her in his arms. “No apologies, mi amore. I needed to feed, to keep you and our bambino strong. I tried to wait, but we have been through so much lately, it has drained me. You feed heavily now, and I am grateful for that.”
Turning with her in his arms, he looked back at Luca, standing near the easel, looking unsure of her presence.
Kate addressed him hesitantly, “If this isn’t a good time…” She stepped tentatively into his space. “I only wanted to thank you, Luca, and to apologize. I feel so foolish for my actions last night…” She tucked her head, hating that he was a witness to so much of their drama.
"My lady, please, it’s nothing. You don’t need to feel shame around me. My job is to protect you, even if that protection is sometimes from yourself. No apologies necessary."
She felt Shade as he stepped behind her, and wrapped her in his arms, pulling her to his chest, kissing her on the top of her head.
He took her hand and led her back to their room. “Come, my walking sin, we need to give Luca his privacy.” He knew they’d always face challenges, but they’d remain as one, and he’d fight to make sure nothing ever came between them.
78
Kate was one full day into taking the pills. She took two pills, three times a day, and she could already feel their impact. Her bones ached, her head ached, and she
felt weakened. She steeled herself to the idea she had four more months of this, because she would do whatever she needed to bring this baby into the world. She took comfort in learning pregnancy for the vampire was an escalated process.
Her appetite didn’t feel as strong, but she wasn’t nauseated, so she’d continue to eat as before. She dared not stop eating, or change her pattern, as she didn’t want to worry Shade. He had enough on his mind already. And if she slept more, well, that was normal. Pregnant women tired easily. “Whatever it takes, my little warrior. You will gaze upon your father's face, I promise you.”
Shade was already up and moving about the room, getting ready to go downstairs when he glanced at her with concern.
She smiled at him and shook her head. “You aren't going to worry over me this whole pregnancy, are you? It will be a long four months if you do. I’m just feeling tired. I think I need to sleep more, so just kiss me please, and go about your night. I’m fine.”
There was a tap on the door, and it was Gi with another tray, and more pills. She ate as if she was hungry, so he’d think she had an appetite, and she swallowed down more pills.
He gave her a concerned look. “But you will rest, si?”
“Shade, the staff already waits on me hand and foot. I can't think of anything else they could do. You’ll have them carrying me around soon. But yes, I’ll rest. I promise.”
That was an easy promise to keep. She could barely stay awake to talk to him. She just wanted to lie down and sleep.
He looked at how pale she was, and it worried him. He pulled the duvet up around her and kissed her softly. “Sleep, Kate. Please let the staff take care of you. If you need me, I can be here in seconds. Don’t try…” As he looked down, she was already sound asleep. He kissed her cheek before leaving.
Closing the door softly as he left the room, he headed down to his office, trying not to stay so focused on her, to discover Alec had left a message on his phone. He had to see what the fuck he wanted, and he needed to pull himself together.
***
Gi brought up the lunch tray and had to wake Kate. He propped the pillows behind her as he said, "Master has instructed you to stay in bed tonight, my lady."
She thanked him as she took the pills he held out for her and let him know she’d be fine as she watched him leave. She had forced herself to eat breakfast while Shade had been there, but she had even less appetite now and couldn’t bear to look at all the food on the tray. She slipped from the bed and dumped the contents in the toilet and flushed it away, putting the empty plate back on the tray, arranging the silverware so it looked used.
That minimal effort exhausted her, and she climbed back into the bed, head pounding, joints aching, and so tired. She fell back asleep until she heard Gi enter once more with the dinner tray and more pills. He left the dinner tray as he cleared away the lunch tray, and as soon as he was out of the room, she repeated the process of flushing the food down the toilet. Her body felt weaker by the hour, but the doctor said she’d be sick. This was the price she must pay, and she’d pay it. But getting back to the bed was a challenge. She needed to be careful that Shade didn’t see her struggle, besides, she was sure her body would adjust, it just needed time.
79
Alec dressed for a morning in Congress, plus an early afternoon interview. Appearance was everything. Mortals were like sheep, and he would lead them, like lambs to slaughter. Rissa was in her dressing room, getting ready for her own day. He walked to her door and watched her as she dressed. Her fashion sense was flawless, and it started with her lingerie and the matching bra and panties, the garter belt, the silk stockings. She kept her beauty on display, carefully crafting her image.
“Rissa, before I leave, remember to call that mortal. After this situation with the feeder, you need to make sure she takes those fucking pills. Stay on top of it, will you, darling? And if she gives you any indication she’s not taking them, let me know, so I can formulate a Plan B. The last thing I need is a warrior reading bedtime stories. Shade has mentioned some rival coven has moved into the D.C. area. I haven't had much time to look into it, but I certainly can't afford a rogue coven to expose my cover. And right now, I'm not sure Shade has his head in the game. This is critical, Rissa. Please tell me you have this under control.”
“I’m always on top of things. And I’ll inform you immediately if there are any glitches with this pill process. Alec...what do you mean there’s a rival coven in D.C.? You never mentioned this. When were you planning to inform me?”
As she walked over to him, swinging her hips, she lightly brushed invisible lint from the shoulders of his immaculate jacket, and straightened his impeccably tied necktie.
He creased his brow. “I didn't share the information about the coven because, quite frankly, I don't have all the details. I need to sit down with Shade and see what he’s found. I know there were a few rogues he killed, and something about a tattoo made him think this may be a coven. Like I said, I don't have all the details at this point. That's his job, to stay on top of this stuff, and that's why I need him focused. And why I need you to see to this...baby issue.”
He reached around her, cupping her ass in his hand and gave her a hard squeeze. “Behave yourself today, my darling.” Smiling wickedly. “Or not.”
She got the exact response she wanted with that smile. He belonged to her and she threw back her head and laughed with loving wicked intent. “Oh, daddy, there’s only one man I want to misbehave with, and only one hard, steeled cock I desire!”
“Fix this problem and I'll show you steeled cock.” He slapped her ass hard as he turned to leave and meet his driver.
As he walked out the door, she rubbed the spot still stinging from his slap. Damn Alec, you will torture me to the point of begging soon. Brimming over with happiness, she went to find her cell phone. You may have screwed up my plan once, doormat, but I will be damned if you will do it twice!
80
Dialing up Kate, Rissa didn’t look at the time and didn’t really care, Kate would take her call, and she’d get answers. If she didn’t, Rissa would be making a house call, like it or not. Shade wouldn’t keep her out of that house, no matter what he tried. Nor will that fucking puppet he brought in as Kate’s protector. The phone rang several times, and Rissa started pacing. “Damn you, answer!”
Kate awoke to the sound of the phone and groggily grabbed for it on the bedside table. She checked the caller ID to see it was Rissa. “Hello? Rissa?”
“Kate, yes, my heavens, I didn’t even realize the time. I hope I didn’t awaken you, sweetie?”
Kate shook the sleep from her head. “Oh...no matter. I seem to sleep a lot lately. But Rissa, I have to ask, what were you thinking? The feeder? Why didn't you call me and check?”
“Oh, Kate, I wasn’t thinking, I just wanted to do everything I could to help. Having a feeder is such a normal occurrence for male vampires when their mate is pregnant. I just assumed you would need one, and that you certainly would want Shade to be taken care of. I had no idea it would upset you. I’m sorry. I forget sometimes, you’re still mortal, and not accustomed to our ways. I’ve been devastated since it happened. Please forgive me, won’t you? I want to be there every step of the way to help with your pregnancy, Alec insists, and I so agree with him.”
Rissa sniffled as she pulled out all the stops for her little performance.
“No, I understand. I'm still struggling with the whole concept of feeders. I understand you were trying to help. But God, what a nightmare that was, she attacked him.”
Rissa acted contrite. “Yes, I had no idea she’d act so inappropriately, or I’d never have brought her. I mean, can you believe the audacity of her? Most feeders are very demure and discreet. This one was acting way above her station, if you ask me, and I don’t blame you one second, for how you responded. If she’d acted that way with Alec, I’d have done the same.
“But I did check in with the doctor I sent, and he told me he gave you supplemen
ts and informed Shade he’d need a feeder. I just thought I’d help any way I could and arrange to set up the feeder for you. But Shade was able to resist her, and that does concern me. Please tell me, sweetie, he’s not feeding from you as you take the supplements, I’m told they make you so sick.”
“Of course not. Shade knew even before the doctor said anything, he’d have to stop feeding from me. Neither of us is going to do anything that puts this baby in any more jeopardy than it already is.”
“Oh, I’m so glad to hear that. So, did he hire a feeder on his own? How is he feeding?”
“He...he made some arrangements. He knew it was upsetting to me, so it’s something he takes care of away from the house. I wish it didn't bother me. I understand in your culture it’s common. He’s explained all that to me. I have one foot in the mortal world and one in the immortal, and I’m still grappling with some aspects of his life. I'm sure you went through the same struggles and look at you. I'll get there with time.”
Rissa almost laughed out loud. You will never be like me, and you have no idea of the struggles I went through. “Well, if anything happens and you need assistance with another feeder, I promise I can help, and do much better. You should try and find out where he goes to feed. If Desire was upsetting to you, then you’ll want to see who he’s feeding from. Each feeder coven caters to specific needs and tastes. And then you have to make sure they don’t have tainted blood.”
Rissa grinned wickedly. Stick that in your romantic dream and deal with it! “Are you sick with the pills already? Tell me everything, I want to know.”
“Shade understands bloodlines, and tainted blood. I'm sure he’s been very careful in his selection. I wouldn't dare inquire about his choice. He’s already made adjustments to accommodate me. And the pills, yes, I started them, two days now. Shade wanted us to have the Paris trip, so I delayed a few days. I’d like to say I feel fine, but quite honestly, they do make me feel bad. Not unbearable, although, today has been worse than yesterday. Just aching all over, headache, and no appetite, but I’m able to eat, so I’ve been forcing myself. I'm sure my body will adjust to it. But don't worry, Shade and Gi are both making sure I take them, they watch over me like a hawk. Not that I wouldn't take them. I’ll do whatever we have to do to keep this baby safe.”