by Izzy Gomez
"That's what I'm talking about!" a male voice called. Amanda tossed a glance to where three college-aged guys stood, watching. Grinning.
"Yeah, baby," another said. The third whistled.
Whatever. Let them look.
"Give me that!" Gabby reached for the phone, trying to sit up.
This was way more than an over-zealous date. No way was Amanda giving up until she knew who called. She held Gabby down with a hand to the chest, using the other to swipe through the phone's screens.
Gabby wiggled and squirmed, bouncing Amanda like she was on a mechanical bull ride. Behind them, the whistles and catcalls continued. She ignored the boys and focused on not losing her balance and keeping her arm steady enough to hit the right spots on the phone. After a few tries, she got into Gabby's missed call log.
The most recent call came from a number Amanda knew by heart. And the accompanying picture was all too familiar because she was in it. It was Todd's Facebook profile picture, the two of them together at Emily's wedding.
"Todd?" All this secrecy over Amanda's brother? What the hell?
Gabby went slack, arms dropping to the grass. Her face returned to its earlier magenta.
Amanda felt like someone punched her in the stomach. The shock made it hard to catch her breath. Gabby and...Todd? She slid off Gabby and sprawled next to her. "You need to talk."
"Aw, that's it? Come on, ladies. Don't leave us hangin'."
In perfect sync, Amanda and Gabby raised their hands and flipped their middle fingers at the boys. The three erupted in laughter.
"Run along now, boys," Amanda rolled to her side and studied her best friend. The person she told everything. Emptiness crept into her chest. Gabby and Todd were involved and neither saw fit to tell Amanda.
"Talk. Now."
Gabby kept her eyes closed. "It's not like that."
"Like what?" Amanda purposely made her voice mad. No sense letting Gabby know how much it hurt.
"I'm not dating him. It was just..."
"Then why the secrecy? Why hide that he's calling you? And why the fuck does he have your stalker ringtone?" She was overreacting, but dammit, she needed her best friend right now more than she ever had before.
Gabby opened her eyes and turned her head away. "We kinda hooked up. Just once."
"How do you kinda hook up? Either you do or you don't."
Gabby's gaze remained fixed on the shy. "He's been hanging around the ER a lot lately. One night he offered to take me out for a drink. It was a particularly bad day, so I said yes."
"So you were drunk? Well, that makes it OK you didn't tell me and tried to hide it." Amanda sat up and bent over her legs, stretching. The burn in her muscles felt good, distracting her from the anger burning elsewhere.
Gabby blew a raspberry at her. "He bought me tequila. You know I shouldn't be allowed tequila."
"Then why did you drink it?" She appreciated Gabby trying to break the tension, but she wasn’t ready to let her off the hook yet.
"It was an extra bad day. Two nineteen-year-olds with gunshots to the head. One died, the other will be a vegetable. A suicide attempt. Lots of other shit like that, all in one shift."
Yeah, Amanda understood bad days on the job. And she'd done some stupid drinking in her time. "That still doesn't excuse lying to me."
"When he took me home, he came in. Said he wanted to make sure I got in OK. Then he kissed me, and...things happened." Gabby's voice trailed off awkwardly.
"You can skip that part." Amanda went out of her way not to picture her brother's sex life.
Gabby sat up and jerked Amanda's arm, forcing her to turn. Gabby's eyes were soft and pleading. "That's the thing. Some things happened. But not...everything."
Great. Now she had an image in her head. Of her brother. Eew.
"I said I don't wanna know that part. You keep those details."
"I'm telling you, that detail didn't work. He couldn't. Whiskey dick or something.”
Amanda closed her eyes, trying to erase her imagination. This was more than she wanted to know about Todd.
"It was weird. He got so angry." Gabby's hand tightened on Amanda. "It's happened to me before with guys. Usually they're embarrassed, or make a lame excuse to leave and never see you again. But Todd started yelling."
Todd? Yelling?
"He never yells. It was scary. Like he was a different person."
The anger and hurt receded. Amanda could understand why Gabby hadn't said anything. She definitely understood why Todd hadn't. "You know he has no luck with women. He was probably upset that he'd finally gotten a shot with the chick he'd had a crush on since high school and blew it."
Gabby shook her head slowly. "It was more than that. He wasn't making sense. Kept saying it wasn't his fault. It was 'hers.' But he wouldn't tell me who 'her' is."
"He dated that radiologist for a while," Amanda said. "I thought they had a decent break-up, but I guess not."
Legs suddenly restless, she stood. Gabby followed and they resumed running.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Gabby's voice held remorse.
Amanda knew her well enough to know it was genuine. “It's OK."
"It wasn't even two weeks ago. I was trying to figure out how to tell you."
They ran a few minutes in silence. Amanda tried to blank her mind but one detail stood out. “Why the stalker ringtone?"
Gabby rolled her eyes. "I told him what happened was nothing. A drunk mistake. But he's started calling. All. The. Time."
"Sounds about right." Todd had said that was the reason the radiologist broke up with him, although he'd put a different spin on it. “A toddler has more dating skills.”
"He comes up with reasons to find me at work. Drops by on his way in or out. Because, you know, we need extra people hanging around when a trauma comes in." Gabby turned and ran backward again.
Poor Todd. He'd never gotten past the awkward teen phase. And he'd had a thing for Gabby since he was fourteen. No wonder he'd gotten performance anxiety.
A shudder ran through Amanda. She did not want to think about that. Much too icky.
"Do you want me to talk to him?" He probably though he was doing what any guy would do to keep a woman's interest and get another shot.
"I promised him I wouldn't tell you what happened. I was going to anyway, but I didn't know how to bring it up." Gabby sighed dramatically as she resumed running forward. "I know better than to drink tequila.”
After a brief pause, Gabby let out a huff of breath. "I know you don't want me to ask, but I'm going to anyway. How are you doing?"
They reached the end of the trail and made their way to their cars. "As well as can be expected." She tried to stay focused on the case so she wouldn't have to think about how she was doing. But of course Gabby wanted to know.
“Are they letting you help at all on the investigation?”
Amanda picked up speed, fueled by her frustration. She understood why it was department policy, but that didn’t mean she liked being off the case.
“No. Greg promised to keep me up to speed on what they find, but that’s it.”
“Greg?”
“Detective Cole. He’s new. Transferred in.”
“You said Greg. Not Detective Cole.”
Oops. She wasn’t ready to discuss her…whatever she had with Greg. Not yet. But Gabby would make a big deal about her slip.
“His name’s Greg. Greg Cole.” Not that Gabby would buy her playing dumb.
“You never call the guys by their first names. Occasionally Al, but even he’s usually Voegler.” Gabby grinned, punching Amanda’s shoulder. “It’s about damn time.”
They rounded the corner to the parking lot, their cars coming into view. Amanda dug in her pocket for her key. “What’s about time?”
“You liked someone.” Gabby propped her heel on the rear bumper of her CRV and reached for her toes.
“I like most of the guys I work with.” Why did she keep playing dumb? Gabby knew her too
well for her to get away with it.
“Fine. I spilled my guts about my one night stand with your brother—"
“That I did not want to hear about.”
“But you keep your new man, this Detective Greg Cole, a secret.”
Sometimes it was a pain in the ass having a best friend who’d known her for twenty years.
“I get it. He’s the one you were trying not to tell me about before.” Gabby switched legs. “Does he seem like he’d be a good kisser? That’s the most important thing.”
It was Amanda’s turn to blush. She bent down to tie her shoe even though it wasn’t untied.
Gabby’s blue eyes widened. “Oh my God. You already know.” She grabbed Amanda’s arm and yanked her upright. “You’ve been kissing someone and didn’t plan to tell me. Have you slept with him yet?”
“No. Definitely not.” She just spent half her waking hours imagining it.
“But you did kiss him.”
“We went to dinner last night to talk about the case—"
“Yeah, sure, the case.”
Amanda ignored the interruption. “And when he walked me back to my car, he kissed me.” No need to mention the other kiss by the river. Gabby would want details and Amanda wasn’t ready to think about them too carefully.
“Are you going out again?” Gabby leaned against her bumper.
“I doubt it. I don’t have time to date. And we just met.” Actually, he’d started in Homicide more than a month ago, and she’d been attracted to him immediately.
“There’s always time to date,” Gabby said.
“There’s really not. In case you haven’t noticed, my family’s imploding. I don’t have the energy to put into a relationship.” Which was too bad. Greg Cole would make one hell of a boyfriend.
“Who said anything about a relationship? Have a wild, no-strings affair.” Gabby grinned. “He was a good kisser, right?”
Amanda’s body tingled at the memory of his mouth on hers. “Oh yeah.”
“Then it’s safe to assume he’d be good in bed. So go for it. You could stand to get laid.”
Amanda snorted. “Thanks.”
Gabby’s grin widened. She looked so wholesome, with her freckles and strawberry blond braids. But it masked a wicked mind.
“Maybe I’ll find myself a boy toy somewhere else,” Amanda said dryly. “But I’m not having a fling with someone from work. Bad idea.” If she’d learned nothing else from Zack, she’d learned how unpleasant the breakup fallout was when you worked together. And she and Zack weren’t even in the same division.
“So why’d you kiss him?”
She couldn’t not kiss him. She was attracted to him, and talking about Karen made her vulnerable. And there was something about Greg, about the way he looked at her that made her feel needy, which also made her vulnerable. And made him dangerous.
Needy, vulnerable and attracted was a bad combination. She’d be wise to stay far away from him.
“I don’t know. I guess it’s like you and Todd. It just happened.” And she wanted it to happen again and again. She could spend hours kissing Greg. Too bad she wouldn’t let herself. Because Gabby was right, she could stand to get laid.
So much for a relaxing afternoon run. Between discussing Karen, learning about Gabby and Todd, and now thinking about Greg, Amanda was wound tighter than ever. Maybe cooking all afternoon would calm her mind.
“I should get going. I need to do some stuff at home.” She stepped toward her car.
“You’re not working, are you?” Gabby held up a reprimanding finger. She was a best friend and a mother all in one. “You need to take the whole day off.”
“I promise, I’m going home. I have a new recipe I want to try for dinner. Should give me leftovers for most of the week.”
“OK.” Gabby stated toward the driver’s door. “Call me when you know details about the funeral.”
As if on cue, Amanda’s cell phone buzzed. She checked the caller ID. Emily.
“I might be able to tell you now.” Amanda had gotten word Karen’s body would be released the following day, so Emily was frantically putting together details.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Can you come over tonight and help?” Emily asked. She must be really stressed if she wasn’t bothering with a greeting.
Amanda should say yes, but she needed time to herself. Needed to forget everything for a while. “I can’t. I have stuff I can’t get out of. I can probably do it tomorrow night.”
Emily gave a martyr’s sigh. “Fine. That’ll have to work.”
Amanda’s jaw tightened, but now was not the time to get into it with Emily. They were all under a lot of stress.
“The funeral is at 1:00 on Tuesday. We’ll do an hour of visitation, then the service, then go to the gravesite. Aunt Mona is giving the eulogy. We’ll have dinner at Dad’s after the burial. It would be great if you could cook something.”
In all her spare time. “Sure. No problem. Let me know how many people we’re expecting. We can talk about it tomorrow.”
“Fine. I need to go.” Emily sounded overly curt. Probably sulking because Amanda wouldn’t help out today.
But she couldn’t. Besides, Karen was Emily’s mother, not Amanda’s. And Karen’s sister Mona could pick up the slack.
“If you talk to Todd, please tell him when to show up. It would be nice if he could work it into his schedule.”
“That’s not fair and you know it. Of course he’ll be there.” Amanda didn’t hold back her irritation this time.
After a tense silence, Emily said, “Fine. See you tomorrow,” and hung up.
Amanda ended the call and stood, seething. Finally she looked at Gabby. “Remind me again I love my family. They make it easy to forget.”
Chapter 12
Greg wiped the sweat from his forehead as he surveyed his parents’ yard. There were still a lot of small branches he needed to trim back, but he’d gotten rid of the major ones. And they had a good start on their firewood collection for the winter.
The physical labor felt good. He tried to get to the gym and lift weights a few times each week, but he’d been so busy since joining Homicide he hadn’t gotten there more than a handful of times in the past month. He knew he’d be sore tomorrow, but today it felt good to stretch his muscles.
It was also good to talk to his dad. A retired cop, Irvin Cole had given Greg advice on the Karen Schreiber case. He agreed Hank was their best suspect.
He’d also, in his own gruff way, warned Greg not to get too involved with Amanda. Greg's interest in her must be blatant if even his thick-skulled dad could see it.
“Solving this case for her isn’t going to fix the past,” his dad warned him.
Remembering Dad’s words, Greg’s skin prickled. He wasn’t trying to make up for the past. Yes, he understood what Amanda and her family were going through. And hell yes, he was interested in her in a very non-professional way. But he wanted to solve the case because he was a detective. It was his job. Nothing more.
Irritated with the direction of his thoughts, Greg picked up the ax and headed for the garage. He was done with yard work for the day. He’d get a glass of the fresh-squeezed orange juice his mom made every Sunday, take a quick shower, put on a fresh t-shirt, then head into work. He had paperwork to finish for another case so he could spend tomorrow focused on the Schreiber investigation.
They needed more physical evidence if they were going to nail Hank. The way he’d tortured his mother for three days made him a sick son of a bitch. Greg wanted to make sure he never saw the outside of a prison again.
Roberta Cole was in the kitchen making dinner when Greg got inside. Confirming his suspicion that she could read minds, she handed him a glass of juice as he walked into the room.
“Thanks.” He downed it in four large swallows, rinsed the glass, filled it with water and downed that. “I didn’t realize how warm it is outside.”
“You were working hard.” Mom swiftly and s
killfully diced up a green pepper from her garden.
“I’ll finish up the rest next weekend. I need to get going.” He put his empty glass in the dishwasher.
“Are you sure? Why don’t you stay for dinner?” Mom pointed with her knife to the pot on the stove. “I’m making your favorite chili.”
Tempting, but he needed to work. “Too hot for chili. But I appreciate the offer.”
“What are you going to eat?” She leveled a stern glance at him. She could fret with the best of them.
“I’ll pick up something. I promise, it’ll have vegetables in it.” He bent and kissed her on the cheek, grinning.
She didn’t return his smile. “You father told me about this case you’re working on. And that you’re involved with a girl at work.”
Greg sighed inwardly. His mother meant well. But he wasn’t in the mood for her worrying. Dad’s mini-lecture was plenty for one afternoon.
“She’s hardly a girl, Mom. And we’re not involved. We work together.” If he had his way, they’d do a hell of a lot more together.
“You can’t bring him back, Greg.” Her voice was soft, sad.
A familiar ache expanded in his chest. He wasn’t in the mood to talk about Phil. Especially not with his mom. He couldn’t stand the sorrow in her eyes when she talked about her other son. The way she looked like she’d lost a piece of her soul.
“Even if you solve this case for this girl, it won’t bring your brother back.”
“I’m not trying to bring him back. I’m doing my job. Yeah, it’s more personal when it’s another cop’s family. You know that. But Phil’s dead. I get it.”
She winced at the word dead. He immediately regretted his harsh tone. But his parents acted like he was hung up on something that happened fifteen years ago. It was ridiculous.
“The sermon today was about forgiveness,” Mom said.
It seemed like a change of subject, but he knew where it was going. “Sounds like a good topic."
“Reverend Duke talked about the need to start by forgiving ourselves.”
Here it came.
“It’s not for us to place blame when God forgives us.”