Rogue

by Izzy Gomez

  “And you’re off the case as soon as we give this to Brown.” Voegler dropped into his chair. “Kicked off two cases in one week, Schreiber. Not gonna look good on the record.”

  “Shut it.” She narrowed her eyes at her partner. “You wouldn’t have this if it weren’t for me. Besides, my record still looks a hell of a lot better than your target practice.”

  Greg admired their easy camaraderie. He’d had that with David Lunk, his partner on the task force, but he suspected he wouldn't have that with O'Donnell. O’Donnell didn’t seem the type to build camaraderie.

  On cue, Brown’s office door swung open. “Voegler. Schreiber. Cole. O’Donnell. My office. Now.” She disappeared back inside.

  Voegler muttered something rude as he started toward her office.

  Greg caught Amanda rolling her eyes as she turned away. He put his hand on her arm. “Hey.”

  She sighed without turning to him. “What is it?” Her voice was tired.

  “Can we get a drink after work?” She probably wanted him to apologize but he hadn’t done anything wrong. If anything, he’d given her too much information. Still, he wanted to bridge the distance she’d put between them.

  “Tonight’s not good for me. What with my stepmom’s funeral and all.” She finally turned to him and her expression couldn’t have been more icy if they’d taken a Polar Bear Plunge.

  Right. The funeral. He and Voegler were going to keep an eye on Hank, who at the moment was posting bail.

  “Fine. Tomorrow night.”

  “Greg—“

  Irritation sparked in his chest. She needed to be straight with him or get over whatever the real issue was. “Either give me a good reason why you’re blowing me off, or we go out after work tomorrow.”

  Before she had a chance to do the former, he stalked toward Brown’s office.

  It was entirely too bright out for a funeral. Didn’t Mother Nature know funerals should be gray and gloomy? Amanda shouldn’t be squinting behind dark sunglasses in order to focus on the minister.

  Dad sat to her left, although he’d been chilly toward her all afternoon. Hank made bail in plenty of time because of strings she pulled. What more did he want from her?

  Todd held her right hand. Behind her, Al had his hands on her shoulders. But she barely noticed the contact. Nothing compared to the feel of Greg’s eyes on her.

  He was right; she owed him an explanation. But she didn’t know why she was suddenly afraid to be near him. She just knew she wanted to both run from him and throw herself at him.

  Both terrifying prospects.

  The scrape of metal on metal brought her concentration sharply into focus. They were lowering the casket.

  Beside her, Dad shuddered. She reached over and squeezed his hand. His answering squeeze nearly crushed her fingers. On his other side, Emily muffled a sob with her handkerchief.

  Amanda wasn’t sure what she felt as the shiny box began its protracted descent into the earth. How did she grieve someone she’d spent her life despising?

  After an agonizingly long time, the coffin screeched to a halt. It was over. Karen was in the ground.

  It didn’t seem real. Amanda tried to listen to the minister’s final words but her brain couldn’t wrap around anything. She relied on her sharp mind. It was her livelihood. Today it felt muddied, like she drank a few too many. Like the world was floating just beyond the horizon.

  Around her, people began moving. Todd dropped her hand and stood. Al squeezed her shoulder then removed his hand.

  It was over.

  Amanda turned to her father. He sat stone still, staring at the empty patch of earth where his wife had disappeared.

  She pulled his hand into her lap and held it between both of hers. “Dad, it’s time to go. People are coming over.” She rose and tugged his hand.

  He remained seated, staring at the hole. “She's gone.”

  Amanda had delivered a lot of bad news to a lot of people. But she’d never heard anyone sound as bereft as Dad in that moment.

  Something inside her broke. Monster though Karen had been to his two oldest children, Dad loved her with all his heart. He’d seen a part of her she kept well hidden from her stepchildren.

  “I know, Dad.” Amanda dropped his hand as tears filled her eyes and panic squeezed her chest. She couldn't watch his grief. Couldn't deal with further proof of how much more important Karen had been than Todd and she.

  So she turned to Todd. “Make sure he gets home. I need to…do something before I go over there.”

  She needed to be alone. Just for a few minutes.

  She only escaped a few feet before Al stopped her. “You OK?”

  And in the surreal world the afternoon had become, he pulled her into a hug. Her mind boggled.

  Al. A hug.

  This didn’t happen. In the four years they'd been partners, he hadn't hugged her once. She was so stunned she didn't manage to hug him back.

  “You can play tough all you want, Schreiber. I know this sucks for you too.” He pulled back, looking around. He straightened his shoulders, smoothed the front of his jacket. “Take the day off. You’ve earned it.”

  Before she could respond, Adam Southall and Keith Long joined them. Her fellow detectives had come to show their support. Even O’Donnell put in an appearance at the visitation.

  And, of course, Greg was there.

  “Hey, sorry for your loss.” Adam gave her a one-armed hug. He was nearly as gruff and brooding as Al. But it didn’t screw with her universal sense of order to get a hug from Adam.

  “Sorry, kid.” Keith embraced her more tightly than was necessary. He was ADA Jesse Long’s older brother, and Jesse learned everything he knew about womanizing from Keith.

  She smacked at Keith’s hands as she stepped back and forced a smile. “Thanks, guys. I appreciate you coming.”

  “You kidding? Funerals are an untapped market.” Keith winked.

  Playing along, she rolled her eyes. She appreciated him trying to lighten her mood, even if it wouldn’t work. “You’re welcome to all the middle-aged lawyers you can handle.”

  “We gotta head back to work,” Adam said. “You OK?”

  She pasted on a smile. She deserved a damn Academy Award. “I’ll be fine. See you guys tomorrow.”

  After Adam and Keith walked away, Al lingered. “I’m not kidding. Hell, take the rest of the week off.”

  “The week? Right. If the tables were turned, would you?” She leveled him a flat stare.

  His gaze flicked to something over her shoulder, then back to her face. “This isn’t about me.” Before she could respond, he disappeared.

  She was about to head for her car when a hand clamped on her shoulder. Before she could react, she was spun around. Her hands flew up to brace herself and ended up against a solid chest.

  Hot breath teased her face as she looked up at Greg. For a moment, the fog in her mind lifted. Everything came into sharp focus. The bright sun, the drone of voices, the scent of freshly mown grass, the chill in the breeze.

  Greg’s expression was stormy. His eyes told her exactly how frustrated he was with her. How much he wanted her anyway. He stared, seeming to reach inside and know all her thoughts. Even the ones she herself didn't know.

  His hands too tight on her shoulders, he leaned in to kiss her. Right here, in front of everyone. Did she care?

  A breath away from her lips, he stopped. “I don't want to wait until tomorrow, but you decide. I can pick you up at your dad’s tonight and we get a nightcap, or I can take you out tomorrow after work. But you know why I didn’t tell you.”

  His mouth was so close, she could taste his words. It took everything in her not to collapse against him.

  He trailed gentle fingers down her arm and squeezed her hand, then started away. “If I don’t hear from you, I’ll be at your dad’s at eight.”

  She watched him walk away, her mind wild. She didn’t have time or room in her life for this. Damn him.

  He di
d have a fantastic ass, though. No harm watching him walk all the way to his car.

  Rubbing her temples to relieve the ever-present headache, she headed for her own car. As she passed Al, she tried to ignore his curious, wry expression. His quirked eyebrow asked more than a twenty minute interrogation.

  When he started to speak, she raised a hand. “Don’t.”

  Chapter 16

  “How you holding up?” Blue eyes full of concern, Gabby sat down at the dining room table.

  Amanda was at a funeral for a stepmom who’d made her childhood miserable, her brother was charged with killing said stepmom, her father was barely speaking to her and she couldn’t stop thinking about the colleague who’d very publicly staked his claim. How did she even begin to answer Gabby’s question?

  “I’m OK.” Her gaze, of its own volition, slid to the grandfather clock in the corner. 7:35. She needed to call Greg in the next few minutes.

  Gabby flicked her gaze to the clock, then back to Amanda. “You got somewhere to be?”

  Should she answer? Oh, hell, Gabby was her best friend. “Remember that guy I told you about?”

  Gabby nodded, then her face split into a grin and she laughed. “Here I was worried you were all wound up over Karen and your dad and Hank. And you’re stressing over a guy.”

  “I’m glad you see the humor in the situation.”

  “It’s been a while since we could share guy troubles. I’ve missed it. So what happened?”

  Heat flickered in Amanda’s belly and shot up through the center of her chest at the memory of the way he’d kissed her a few hours ago. The way he’d touched her on Sunday. “I got mad at him for something dumb. He said he’s picking me up at 8:00 unless I call and tell him not to.”

  "I assume we're talking about the guy who nearly set the grass on fire kissing you?"

  Set the grass on fire? Great. "Yes. That's Greg."

  “And you haven’t called.”

  “Not yet.” She should. Not because she didn’t want to see him but because she wouldn’t be good company. She wasn't in the mood for more sexual frustration. Greg inevitably wouldn’t allow her the kind of stress relief she needed from him. She’d be better off to go home, run on the treadmill and head to bed early.

  “But you’re going to. Because you’re stupid.”

  With friends like Gabby, it was a wonder she had any self esteem. “Because I’m tired. And crabby. And bad company.”

  Gabby sighed dramatically and shook her head, looking at Amanda as if she were a naughty toddler. “Fine. Be stupid.”

  “I thank you, dear friend, for your support on this difficult day in my life.” Amanda stuck out her tongue as she rose from her chair. “And hey, while we’re doling out unsolicited advice, have you talked to Todd? Told him point blank you’re not interested?”

  Gabby’s smiled faded. “Go make your phone call.”

  “That’s what I thought. I'll call you tomorrow.” Amanda patted her friend's shoulder, then left the dining room in search of her jacket. She’d left her phone in the pocket because she needed a few hours when she couldn’t be reached.

  Expecting to find the guest room empty, Amanda was surprised to find Todd. He looked up from the phone in his hand. Immediately his cheeks darkened.

  The phone in his hand wasn't his iPhone.

  “What are you doing with my phone?” She reached for it.

  “Sorry, I would have asked, but I couldn’t find you.” Todd skimmed his thumb over the touchscreen before handing it to her. “I needed to make a call and my battery’s dead.”

  She took her phone and slid it into her pocket. “Why not use Dad’s phone? You know, an old fashioned land line.”

  He chuckled. “I didn’t even think of that. I haven’t had one for so long, I forget other people do.”

  Always the gadget geek, he'd been the first person she knew to give up his home phone. “You sticking around much longer?”

  She grabbed her jacket and started for the door. Greg was probably on his way. She'd lost her opportunity to call. And, as much as she didn’t want to see him tonight, another part of her wanted nothing else.

  “No, I have an early surgery.” Todd followed her down the stairs.

  Amanda checked the living room for Dad. Instead she found Emily talking with Karen’s older sister. Would it make Amanda a horrible person if she said goodnight to Emily but not Dad? At this point, did she care?

  After giving Todd a quick hug, she made her way across the room to Emily and Aunt Mona. Mona had never been much friendlier to Amanda and Todd than Karen was. As Amanda approached, Mona watched with a chilly stare

  Amanda did her best to ignore Mona. “I’m gonna head out. I need to get some work done.” It wasn’t a complete lie. There was always more work she needed to do.

  Emily plastered on a smile. “Thanks for coming.”

  Emily needed to relax. She didn’t always have to play hostess. Rather than give advice her sister wouldn't heed, Amanda leaned in and gave Emily a polite hug. “I’ll talk to you soon. I couldn’t find Dad.” Not that she’d tried hard. “Please tell him good night for me. I’ll call him tomorrow.”

  Mona made a disapproving click in her throat. Amanda deliberately didn't acknowledge her.

  As soon as she got outside, she pulled out her phone. A quick glance through her call log showed Todd hadn’t actually made a call. He’d have to wait until his phone charged. Or use an old-fashioned land line, heaven forbid.

  The temperature had dropped, the breeze chilling her. She zipped her jacket as she walked down the block to her car.

  Almost hidden in shadow, Greg leaned against her passenger door, ankles crossed, arms folded over his chest. Looking entirely too relaxed and delicious. Her stomach see-sawed as she imagined burying her face in his chest, letting him hold her. Letting him be her strength, just for a moment.

  Instead she stopped an arm’s length away. “You’re here.”

  In the low light, she caught a flash of teeth. “So it seems.”

  She waited for him to say more. When the silence stretched on, she shifted from one foot to the other and put her hands in her pockets.

  “How was…?” He nodded toward Dad’s house.

  She shrugged. Her muscles were so tense, even the small movement ached. She should go home and stretch, then run. “Boring. Painful. Lots of cold glares from Karen’s family. Apparently I’m to blame for Hank being arrested. Never mind him, you know, killing her.”

  He nodded but didn’t say anything. just watched her in that all-too-knowing way he had.

  When the silence again got unbearable, Amanda yanked her keys out of her pocket. “Look, this has been lovely. Really. But—“

  “You eat?” He pushed off the car and stepped into her space. She was instantly aware of the heat of his body, of his earthy scent. “I haven’t eaten anything since before lunch. I thought we could grab something.”

  There’d been enough food at Dad’s to feed the entire IMPD for a week but she hadn’t been able to choke down more than a few crackers. Now that he mentioned food, her stomach gurgled at the idea of something greasy and bad for her. A nice juicy burger. Medium rare. And fries. And a soda the size of Delaware.

  “I could eat.”

  He reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. The press of his palm against hers sent another, very different hunger through her. Why was she upset with him?

  “Burger? Sandwich? Pizza?” He led her away from her car.

  “Bacon cheeseburger.”

  “Good choice.”

  This time, the silence between them was comfortable. Almost…pleasant.

  Half a block later they reached his car. He reached around her, but instead of opening the door, he pulled her against him. His arms went around her and he bent his head into her hair.

  Gradually she let herself relax. Her muscles screamed after so many hours held rigid. Ignoring them, she laid her cheek to his chest and leaned on him, the way she’d imagine
d when she first saw him at her car. Bit by bit, the tension that had driven her all day receded. It didn’t disappear, but it rolled back to a manageable level.

  “I’m sorry.” His warm breath sent a shiver down her spine. He kissed her cheek. “You know I couldn’t tell you everything. I still can’t.”

  She tried to squash the panic bubbling inside her. “I know. It's all just so…”

  He kissed her forehead. “I know. I wish I didn’t, but I do.”

  They stood in silence a moment longer. Finally, she pulled away and reached for the car door. “Let’s go to Freddy’s. They have a perfect grease to food ratio.”

  “A woman after my own heart.” He grinned as he shut her door.

  She wasn’t after his heart. But she had a feeling she’d end up with it anyway.

  Despite being 8:30 on a weeknight, Freddy’s was crowded. If there was one thing Americans liked, it was their greasy food, followed by frozen custard.

  They each ordered burgers with extra fries, plus an order of onion rings to split. As they ate, they made small talk, getting to know random details about each other. They avoided anything too personal and for twenty minutes, Amanda actually enjoyed herself.

  After they finished, Greg insisted they get dessert. “You can’t come to Freddy’s and not get something.”

  Her abdominal muscles felt stretched to their limit, but the determination on his face said he wouldn’t accept that excuse. She settled for a chocolate cone; he got a turtle sundae.

  Taking his first bite, he closed his eyes and smiled. A hum of pleasure rolled up from his chest.

  She couldn’t look away. He’d made a similar noise the other day when he kissed her. Her mouth watered and it had nothing to do with chocolate.

  She took an extra large bite of custard to occupy her hands and mouth. Otherwise she’d attack him right there in the restaurant.

  When he opened his eyes and smiled at her, she got the distinct impression he intended to consume and savor her next. Suggestion glittered in his eyes.