by B. B. Reid
Confusion quickly turned to amused disbelief when Jamie began chanting Bee, my childhood nickname, three times while staring at his reflection.
“Wait a second…so in that thick skull of yours, I’m the Bloody Mary?”
“Of course not.” Jamie’s flirtatious gaze met mine through the ridiculously over-priced mirror. “You’re way hotter.”
“I’m not going to thank you for the compliment,” I said when he continued to watch me. I could feel a small smile forming and on its heels…hope. Maybe Jamie and I could be friends again?
“No thanks necessary,” Jamie drawled as he turned to face me. “I speak the truth unless the truth won’t get me laid.”
My gaze dropped to my hands in my lap. “Is sex all that matters to you now?”
I heard his scoff, and when I looked up, the white flag we’d waved was gone. I should have known better than to think it would last. Jamie and I were poison with no cure in sight.
“What did you expect?”
I was not about to answer that. I expected nothing. Or at least…I shouldn’t have. “Obviously, you want more if you hold yourself back from those other girls. I’ve heard the rumors, Jamie.” Or could it possibly be that his issue was physical rather than emotional?
“When and how I come is none of your business, Barbette.” He paused, and then his pierced brow quirked as the flame in his eyes rose higher. “Unless you’re offering?”
I felt my cheeks warm, and my nipples pebbled underneath my silk blouse. “What makes you think I’d want your broken dick?”
The withering look he’d given me made me wish I’d kept my mouth shut, especially when he crossed my bedroom, pushed me on my back, and climbed on top of me. He was careful not to touch me any more than that, though. No, that would have been catastrophic for both of us.
“Tell me, Barbette,” he whispered, lips poised dangerously close, “what’s keeping me from pulling my broken dick out and fucking you senseless?”
I stared back at him, wanting to swear that I wasn’t willing, but we’d both know I would be lying, and he’d see right through. And that was even more embarrassing than telling the truth.
“Nothing.”
He froze, and I could tell by his startled gaze that he hadn’t been expecting the truth. I wasn’t sure how long we had laid there gazing at one another before he finally broke the stunned silence.
“Then consider yourself lucky that I’m not interested,” he mumbled. Shooting to his feet, he rushed for the door.
“Then why did you come here?” I yelled as I quickly stood as well. “Why do you keep looking at me as if fucking me is all you want to do?”
And why the hell was I even arguing with him?
I should be letting Jamie go, not secretly hoping he’d stay.
Ripping open the door, Jamie stated over his shoulder as he walked away, “All’s fair in love and war, Barbette.”
The moment my bedroom door slammed shut, I sank to the floor, feeling boneless. He’d taken all my strength and common sense with him.
Again.
Summer… Six Years Ago
“HE’S SO DREAMY.” OLIVIA SIGHED as she stared out her bedroom window. Olivia Portland had been handpicked by my parents as a suitable playmate, and while she was nice enough, we had nothing in common. Olivia was glitter, gloss, and rainbows—while I… didn’t shine so bright.
Blonde ringlets framed Olivia’s face, but I didn’t need to see to know she was blushing. She was lying on her stomach, ankles crossed in the air without regard for the frilly, yellow dress she wore. Her fists were propped under her chin, and I could practically see the sparkle in her doe-brown eyes in the window’s reflection.
It was the same reaction we both had whenever a certain boy came around.
Against my better judgment, I moved to stand over her perch on the cushioned window bench.
Olivia glanced over her shoulder and flashed me an uncomfortable smile. “They’re waiting for you, you know.”
I knew.
I’d already changed into my favorite red ball cap with my freshly-curled hair shoved underneath, cargo shorts that Vaughn had long since grown out of, and the Fall Out Boy T-shirt that Ever had been reluctant to part with. Vaughn ended up having to win it for me in an arm-wrestling match since Ever hadn’t been quite so chivalrous.
For some reason, I was stalling. Perhaps I was just waiting for the butterflies to go away so I wouldn’t make a fool of myself.
I chose not to respond as I watched Ever wrestle Jason, Olivia’s twin brother, on the front lawn. They’d discarded their shirts and were grunting and groaning as they used what they liked to pretend was their considerable strength to best the other.
Ever managed to get Jason in a headlock that, after several seconds, his opponent found it impossible to break and tapped out. I nearly swallowed my tongue when the boys broke apart, and I got a glimpse of Ever’s sweaty chest. He was smiling victoriously while Jason wore a scowl and stomped away. I couldn’t help rolling my eyes, even as Ever and Vaughn frowned their confusion at Jason’s retreating form.
“My brother is such a sore loser,” Olivia remarked, voicing my thoughts.
“Shouldn’t you be on his side?” I teased. “He’s your twin, after all.”
She flipped onto her side and grinned. “Not by choice. Besides,” she added as she tucked her blonde hair behind her ear and blushed, “Ever is going to kiss me soon. I just know it.”
Fearing Olivia would notice the jealousy brewing in my veins, I turned away before she could see my face and hurriedly slipped on my sneakers. My mother would die if she caught me wearing them instead of the pretty ballet flats she’d forced me to wear this morning.
I told myself to get a grip.
So what if Ever kissed her? It was no business of mine.
My very unfortunate and sudden crush was an affliction. Something easily cured—if only I could find the remedy.
“Want to come to the park with us? You can ride on my handlebars,” I offered in vain. I already knew she’d say no. She was firm in her belief that boys went to Jupiter to get more stupider while I believed that they were on to something. Girls just wanted to have fun while boys were sure to have it by any means necessary. If I could find another girl in this town like that, hanging out with her instead would be a no-brainer. It would certainly make my mother happy. She didn’t think it was appropriate that I was the only girl in a group of rowdy boys. What she didn’t know was that I could hang with the best of them.
Not to mention that I’d never quite related to other twelve-year-old girls and their plights. I still didn’t get Justin Bieber’s appeal nor had I figured out what made Twilight such a big hit.
“No, thanks. Jessica’s mom is taking us skating today.”
I waited, thinking of a way to turn her down if an invitation followed, but none came. I tried not to think of why that hurt my feelings. I didn’t even want to go. “Okay, then… see you later.”
“Bye!” she yelled with a cheery wave.
My steps were slow, and I still wore a frown by the time I reached the front door. However, my sadness melted away the moment I stepped outside and saw the eager expressions on Vaughn and Ever’s faces. Jason, I suppose, was still somewhere sulking. I’d go after him but I’d learned the hard way that it was better to let him stew until he was ready to get over whatever was eating him.
I couldn’t quite claim Jason as part of my tribe since I was still feeling him out. He was always so closed off, and when he did open up, it was usually out of anger. Maybe one day I’d find out what Jason’s deal was, but right now, I couldn’t be bothered. Glancing at Ever, I quickly averted my gaze, hiding my blush when he smiled.
Clearly, I had my own issues to sort out.
“Is your cousin still staying with you this summer?” Vaughn asked Ever as we made glue and glitter bombs with the balloons Vaughn had managed to procure. Summer had just begun, but Tommy Vann, one of our classmates, hadn’t wasted
time terrorizing everyone on the playground. He’d also been talking crap about me, and I was determined to shut him up once and for all. The guys offered to kick his ass again, but I had a better idea. Everyone had a role in our tight-knit crew. I was the brains, and they were the brawn.
“I’m not sure,” Ever grumbled. “He got into trouble again, so my aunt and uncle grounded him for the summer.”
“What did he do this time?” Jason questioned through his chortles. His mood had improved considerably since we left his house. Maybe the promise of taking his anger out on someone more deserving had cheered him up. “Moon the cafeteria ladies again?”
I frowned as I wondered why someone would flash their butt to strangers? It wasn’t the first time I’d heard about Ever’s cousin, and the stories only seemed to get wilder with each telling. I grimaced. Not for the first time that day I felt a warmth spread across my lower stomach accompanied by a dull ache.
“He got caught playing seven minutes in heaven with some eighth-grader’s boob.”
Vaughn and Jason roared uncontrollably as they high-fived each other. I, on the other hand, didn’t find a damn thing funny. Ever’s cousin sounded like a real tool, and I was glad he was staying far away this summer. I had enough trouble keeping these three in line. I didn’t need some outsider getting them riled and stirring up trouble.
We finished filling the balloons and carefully sorted and loaded them into the empty backpacks we’d brought.
The park was pretty full on a summer afternoon, but I wouldn’t let that deter me. Olivia, back from skating with Jessica and the rest of her friends, was across the park near the hopscotch. They were all huddled together, whispering and giggling about something or someone I couldn’t see. I didn’t dare look their way and risk making eye contact with one of Olivia’s friends. There were only ever two reactions—eagerness to make me one of them or disgust because I wasn’t.
I met Ever, Vaughn, and Jason’s stares as they dutifully waited for my command and realized they were likely the only friends I’d ever have. Surprisingly, on the heels of that epiphany was acceptance. Why have a ton of “friends” who wanted to change you when you could have three who accepted you as you are?
It certainly saved me cash at Christmastime.
“Tommy will be here any minute. Jason, you stay here and give the signal when you see him coming. Give two short whistles if he’s alone and a long one if he’s got company.” I waited for his nod before turning to Ever and Vaughn. “You two take the glue bombs. One of you take cover over there,” I directed, pointing at the tree on the other side of the path. “The other will take cover here.”
“What will you do?” Ever asked with his hands tucked in his pockets.
I tossed a glitter bomb in the air and caught it as I grinned. I then pointed at the tree branch hanging over our heads. “I’m going to rain fire from above.”
Tommy wouldn’t know what hit him. Literally.
Ever grinned back, and with the rope I brought, I hurriedly bent to loop it through the bucket’s handle before he could see my blush. It seemed that was all I did lately, but at least I was good at hiding it. He moved to help me carry the bucket once I was finished, but I gave him a curt shake of my head.
With his hands up in surrender, he backed away a few paces, and I felt like I could breathe again. I knew I was acting weird, and Ever, despite his nerve-racking recklessness, was sharp enough to notice. He was also too polite to call me out on it in front of an audience.
Careful to avoid eye contact, I tied the other end of the rope around my waist before climbing the tree. Ever had taught me how to climb, and I used to spend hours in a tree, hiding from my parents, and Ever… he was always there to keep me company. I never minded because he never pried, and I was more grateful for his silence than having a shoulder to cry on. I wrinkled my nose at the thought as I climbed to the second branch overhanging the path and pulled the bucket the rest of the way while the guys took cover. Some of the glitter had spilled, but that was okay. I had plenty.
We were on the backside of the park where Tommy liked to wreak havoc with his own crew. I’m sure he’d even come to think of it as his territory.
Well, it was ours now.
Jason released two sharp whistles, and I was almost disappointed that this would be easier than I thought. His cronies wouldn’t be around to witness what I had in store, so I guess the entire playground would have to do.
A second later, I spotted Tommy’s mop of brown curls and his cheeks covered in chocolate as he demolished a candy bar he probably stole from one of the smaller kids on his way in. It was funny that he never tried that on someone his own size.
I checked Vaughn and Ever’s hiding spots, but I couldn’t see either of them. Not until it was too late. Vaughn emerged first, and that wicked arm of his had Tommy’s entire right side covered in glue before I could blink. A shocked Tommy released his grip he had on the candy bar when Ever emerged. My best friend took his time as a wicked grin spread his lips slowly. I watched as Tommy’s eyes bulged, and his mouth dropped in horror. Big mistake. Ever’s first balloon hit Tommy square in the face. Jason, who’d been tiptoeing behind Tommy, joined in. It wasn’t long before Tommy was pelted with glue bomb after glue bomb. It wasn’t until Ever glanced up at the tree with a look that said “Well?” that I jumped into action. By now, Tommy was covered head to toe in glue. He looked like a big white blob.
“Hey, Tommy?” I called down.
He struggled to lift his head, and I stifled a giggle when all I could make out underneath all that glue was the blue of his eyes.
“Who’s the girl now?” Without warning, I tipped over the bucket, and his cry of terror was cut short as a waterfall of sparkly pink glitter rained down on him.
The boys could barely contain themselves and were bent over, clutching their stomachs as I climbed down from the tree. When Tommy started to cry, I actually started to feel bad, but I knew that showing mercy would only prove his point. Instead, I chose to prove mine.
I was running the show now. Balls or no balls.
“Stop crying,” I snapped.
His wails instantly dissolved to whimpers. One of my crew snickered when he even hiccuped. I stepped closer until I was standing on the ring of pink glitter around him.
“Jason?” I called, and he stepped forward, waiting for my command. “Search his pockets.”
He did as he was told with a crooked grin, which dissolved into disgust when he pulled out a crumpled Lincoln covered in lint and something… sticky. “Gross,” Jason griped.
“Find out who that”—I pointed to the Butterfinger lying on the ground covered in glitter—“belonged to and give them the cash.”
“But that’s the last of my allowance!” Tommy raged.
“Does it look like we give a fuck?” Vaughn coolly replied.
It always amazed me how easily curse words flowed from his lips. He did it naturally and never seemed to care if an adult might hear. Considering who his parents were, I guess he wouldn’t. His mother’s family not only founded this town but his grandfather was also the mayor. And if that weren’t enough, his father… well, no one knew what his father did, but what we did know was his father was bad news. Everyone in Blackwood Keep gave Franklin Rees a wide berth. Including his son.
Jason set off to complete his task. It wouldn’t be hard to find the kid because Tommy wouldn’t have just settled with taking the candy. Somewhere on the playground was a helpless kid nursing a black eye or a busted lip.
“What do you want to do with him?” Ever inquired, sounding bored already. I knew he was probably eager to be done with Tommy. Ever was a terror, too. However, it was usually just himself that he ended up hurting. Mr. and Mrs. McNamara were having a tough time controlling their son’s restlessness. Or perhaps running a multibillion-dollar hotel chain didn’t allow much time for parenting. It seemed beneath Ever to act out just to seek attention from his parents. Then again, maybe that was just the crush speaking
. Ever was no different than any other kid.
But I was.
I had to be the only kid on the planet who wished their parents would forget they ever existed. Right?
“We’re going to let him go,” I answered, earning Vaughn and Ever’s disappointed frowns and Tommy’s hopeful stare.
“Seriously?” Vaughn griped.
I nodded and stepped even closer to Tommy. I wasn’t afraid he’d try anything. Not even he was that dumb.
“But you’re going to stop picking on the smaller kids, and you’re going to stop talking crap, or else you’re going to find out what was behind door number two. We clear on that, Vann?”
Tommy nodded eagerly.
“Good. You can go.”
He tried to step around me so he could leave out the back way where no one would see him covered in sparkly pink glitter. Did he really think it would be that easy?
“Where do you think you’re going?”
He stopped dead in his tracks. “L-leaving.”
“Oh, no. We didn’t get you all dressed up for nothing, hot stuff. You’re going to take the scenic route. Let everyone see what a pretty girl you are.”
Vaughn and Ever both snickered.
“But—”
“Walk,” I commanded, leaving no room for argument in my tone.
Vaughn closed in on him, forcing Tommy to back up step after step until he was retreating on his own. Ever suggestively whistled as Tommy hurried away as fast he could, covered in all that glue and glitter.
We followed at a slower pace, wanting to witness his humiliation without being dumb enough to be caught red-handed.
Vaughn and Ever were still howling while I allowed myself only a small smile. I didn’t like what I had to do, but I knew it had to be done. Still, I never claimed to be an angel, so a teeny-weeny part of me enjoyed it.
As we rounded the corner, their laughter came to an abrupt halt at the rough yet high-pitched trill piercing the air. Strangely, I began to hum ‘Aint No Sunshine’ by Bill Withers as I drifted toward the sound and the culprit behind it. I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.