by B. B. Reid
“I didn’t come back for her.”
“But she’s the reason you stayed.”
“I’m not sure I had much choice in that, either. Where the hell would I have gone?”
“That’s kind of my point. Up until yesterday, the girl you’ve been in love with since you were twelve was ready to marry someone else, and I bet it never once crossed your mind to leave Blackwood Keep.”
No, it hadn’t.
Like a chump, I knew I’d rather be in pain every day watching her belong to someone else than never seeing her again. And wasn’t that just fucking backward as hell?
They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Well, Bee had wrecked me a thousand times over, and I was still weak as hell for that girl.
My summer love, my ice queen.
She fucking ruined me. It was only fair that I return the favor, so why haven’t I?
Bee rounded the corner at that very moment, making me eat those fucking words. She hadn’t spotted me yet, so I took advantage, drinking in the sight of her in that red gown with her strawberry locks piled high. I wanted to pull free every single pin just so I could wrap her hair around my fist and kiss her senseless. And maybe, quite literally, take her breath away too.
Feeling my gaze, she turned, and for several long, agonizing seconds, neither of us moved or spoke a word.
Vaughn cleared his throat, breaking the trance as he stood to his feet. “I guess that’s my cue. If you two start fucking, I don’t want to be caught in the middle. Or do I?” he joked with a waggle of his eyebrows.
I glared at his back as he paused to kiss Bee on her forehead before walking away. Whenever I did finally get Bee in my bed, I sure as hell wouldn’t be sharing her with anyone else. The second we were alone, our gazes returned to one another.
“Come here.”
Bee didn’t hesitate and glided toward me until she was standing between my legs. Bringing her down on my lap, I kissed her lips, making her sigh. “I’m sorry for walking away from you.”
Perking a brow, she pursed her lips, and I was tempted to kiss them again.
“Then why did you?”
“Because I’m a needy motherfucker,” I answered truthfully. “And what I need is you.”
Her lips parted, and I waited for her to tell me that I could have her. Once she said the words, I knew I’d let go of the past. I’d stop pining for how things were and start looking to the future and believing in what could be. All she had to do was say the words.
Say the fucking words, baby.
I didn’t realize I was frowning until her finger traced the lines on my forehead. I felt my expression soften as she began toying with the barbell piercing my brow. “I…” I held my breath while she struggled for words and tried not to look so eager. A second later, her shoulders slumped. “I had a good time tonight. Thank you.”
If I’d been standing, I wasn’t sure I would still be. Disappointment coursed through me, making my world spin, so when her eyes closed, so did mine. I didn’t realize we’d leaned into one another until our foreheads touched.
“You were never going to prom with him. It was always going to be me.”
“I’m glad… even if I don’t deserve you.”
I held her tighter, wanting to protect her from whatever dark thoughts plagued her. “Deserve me? You’re the lyrics to my song, Bette. I don’t exist without you.”
She shook her head, refusing to accept my claim. “You were right about me, James. I break hearts. I broke you.” My eyes flew open at the same time hers did. The growl I didn’t expect to release startled her, but there was nothing I could do to wrangle my emotions back in.
Then piece me back together, dammit.
“I survived,” I said instead and softened the blow by quirking my lips. She didn’t smile back, and I felt like shit when a tear fell.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
My jaw clenched as something inside of me reached out for her. I promptly shoved it back down as I set her on her feet and stood. Maybe I wasn’t as ready to forgive her as I thought.
Not yet.
Shit… maybe never.
Slowly, I ran my finger over the top of her breasts. Her soft skin turned red under my touch. “You looked beautiful tonight.” I couldn’t believe it took me until the night was damn near over to tell her. “But then you always do.”
She grinned despite the storm raging within us both. “Is this the part where you convince me to sleep with you?”
Looking around, I realized we were completely hidden from the rest of the world. I could bend her over the bench and hike up that gown. No one would ever know. Tragic.
“When you’re ready to be fucked, you won’t need much convincing, kitten.”
Her gaze narrowed, and I had the feeling she was pissed about being turned down. “But you were so sure it would be tonight.”
“Maybe you weren’t the only one needing to be seduced.”
“So tonight was a test?”
Rather than answer, I slipped my phone from my pocket and checked the time. Shit. “It’s almost midnight, Cinderella.” Glancing down, I tried not to smile at her scowl. My wicked witch could be so fucking adorable at times.
“Stop calling me that.”
I paused, and then it was my turn to frown because I couldn’t remember when or even why I started calling her that. It was almost like my subconscious was trying to tell me something. I’m not sure how long I stood there searching for the answers in her blue eyes, but never once did she look away. After a few minutes, I had to accept that I wouldn’t be getting any answers tonight.
What a surprise.
Although I could tell Bee didn’t want to leave, she didn’t fight me when I took her hand and led her back to the front. I slowed my stride when I spotted our nosy as shit friends waiting for us by our limo.
“What the hell do you fuckers want now?” I felt Bee squeeze my hand and rolled my eyes before inquiring much more pleasantly, “I meant, is something wrong?”
“We were just waiting to make sure Barbette didn’t need help hiding your body,” Wren replied. He then gave her a look as if asking whether she’d still like their help.
I didn’t like the way she giggled at his offer, like she wanted to suck his dick or something, so I yanked open the limo door and pushed her inside. “She’s fine, you fucking traitors.” And then I ducked inside the limo, leaving my friends holding their dicks—so to speak.
The moment my ass touched the seat, I pulled her to me and took her chin in my hand. “Don’t laugh at other men’s jokes.”
“Even if I think they’re funny?” she teased.
“Especially if you think they’re funny.”
I could tell that my demand had gone in one ear and out the other. Realizing that I was actually jealous, I pressed my lips against hers, hoping to get rid of the bitter taste of my own medicine.
“Jamie.” She gasped when I finally let her up for air.
“Jesus, Bee. Don’t say my name like that.”
“Or what?” she challenged, but I could tell she was really curious.
“Or I just might fuck you out of that dress.” Kissing my way down her neck, I realized she hadn’t responded as I inhaled her scent like it was nicotine. “Oh, is that what you want?” More silence. Chuckling, I pulled Bee onto my lap until she was straddling my thighs. “Say the word, and I’ll pop your cherry right here and now.”
I was already undoing the tiny buttons on her gown when she finally answered. “No…” My fingers paused on the last button, but the look in her eyes had my dick rocking up in my pants. “But I do want you to make me come.”
“OH, YOU DO, DO YOU?”
I didn’t get the chance to respond to his taunt before he was shoving down the top of my gown. The cool air from the limo brushed my nipples, making them harden even more. I was still wondering when he’d gotten all those buttons undone when his finger slowly traced my spine, setting my bare skin on fire. I wanted him
to touch me all over, but in the confines of this limo and with the little time we had until I was home, I knew that wouldn’t be possible.
Suddenly, his head lowered, and my lips parted from shock and anticipation as I watched his tongue dart out and then lazily flick my nipple.
When his head lifted, my hands curled around his nape as I guided him toward the other. This time, when his tongue thrashed my nipple, he didn’t stop until I was gasping. Only then did his lips finally close around the bud, making my back arch as he suckled.
I had no idea before this moment how sensitive my breasts were and how ruthlessly Jamie would use the knowledge to his advantage.
By the time he finally lifted his head, I was a writhing, sopping mess.
“Jamie,” I whimpered. “It’s too much.” Any moment now, I’d burn, and when he was done with me, there’d be nothing left.
Chuckling, he fingered my nipple as he defiantly met my gaze. “Tell me to stop,” he challenged. Even though I was trembling in his lap, we both knew there was no chance of that. “No?” he continued to taunt. “Then tell me how bad you want it.”
“Please.” I moaned without shame or hesitation.
“Good, but not great,” he replied. “Harder, Bee. You can beg better than that.”
Slowly, I opened my eyes. I couldn’t even remember when I’d closed them. Jamie was watching me, his brown eyes twin pools of flame, and I knew then that he was as desperate for this as I was.
“Suck me, and maybe I’ll suck you.”
As he caressed my bottom lip with the tip of his finger, his gaze darkened as he pondered my offer. “And just how long have you wanted to get my dick between those lips?”
From the moment I realized I would never be over you.
“Shit or get off the pot, Jameson,” was what I said instead.
His pierced brow rising was the only answer I got before his head lowered, and he cruelly sank his teeth into the top of my breast, making me cry out. At the same time, I could feel my clit throbbing almost violently and my toes curling.
This was all before his lips even closed around my nipple.
He worshipped them both, suckling and lashing with his tongue until my eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head. I was vaguely aware of him fumbling to get underneath my gown. I waited with bated breath for the moment his fingers found my neat strip of strawberry curls, and he made an approving sound. I was running out of air as I waited for his fingers to dip lower, to tease my clit, and maybe fuck me with those cruel, talented fingers.
My lips parted, ready to beg like he wanted when I’d been too proud just moments ago, but then he was shoving the hem of my gown up, bunching the heavy material around my waist.
His hands moved away, and I eagerly held my skirt up while he undid his pants before shoving them, along with his boxers, down to his thighs. I couldn’t see his dick in the dark, but when he reached out and grabbed my hand, curling it around him, I realized he was a monster in every way. Jamie’s cock was thick, warm, and impossibly long. And he was so hard I could feel each of the veins running the length of his dick.
“You have no idea how much I want you to sit on it,” he whispered.
Hearing the desperation in his voice, I lifted my hips. Virgin or not, I was ready to throw caution to the wind and stuff my pussy with every inch. Just as I felt his cock parting my lower lips, his hand was suddenly between my legs, cupping me.
“Appreciate the gesture, kitten, but I don’t think your little pussy could take it.”
I didn’t think so either, but I was more than eager to try. As if sensing my determination, his hand started to move away, but at the last moment, I felt his middle finger teasing my clit until my eyes fluttered, and I was leaking all over his hand.
“Jamie,” I whimpered. I was so close, and all from just his featherlight touch. It was like he was being careful not to give me too much, fearing he might lose control.
When he pulled away this time, I almost cried, but then his hands were on my waist, guiding me until my warm, wet pussy kissed his rock-hard thigh. Jamie’s long legs were spread wide as he slouched low in the seat, giving me the traction I’d need to ride him to climax.
Leaning forward, he drew my nipple between his lips, making me sigh his name as I cradled his head and ran my fingers through his hair. I wasn’t sure when my hips began to move, but slowly, I found a rhythm until it felt like I’d climbed impossibly high. The friction fired off every nerve I had until I was gasping and pressing myself harder on his thigh.
“Fuck, Bette. You’re riding me like you own me.” The guttural groan that followed nearly tipped me over the edge. We both knew I did—just as much as he owned me.
As if needing to prove it, he wrapped a hand around my neck, and seconds later, shock broke through my lustful fog when he lifted the hand still gripping his cock and held my gaze as he crudely spat in my palm.
My lips parted, but no words came.
Slowly, he curled my wet palm back around him, and the only reaction I gave was to press my now throbbing clit down on him harder. Jamie’s hand stayed on top of my mine, guiding me, showing me just how he wanted to be touched.
His lids lowered as he bit his lip, and I couldn’t help but lean forward to steal a kiss. It was the first kiss I’d initiated, and I glimpsed his surprise just before he lifted, sweeping his tongue between my lips, and deepening the kiss.
“Come on me,” he demanded against my lips. “Right fucking now.”
Heeding his command, my hand reluctantly left his cock, and I planted both of them on his chest as my hips picked up their pace. The eagerness in his eyes to see me come drove me closer to the edge. Soon, I was bucking and pleading and gasping as I rode his thigh to climax.
I’m not sure exactly what Jamie saw as he watched me come, but whatever it was had him pulling me down and kissing the whimpers from my lips until they faded. The only sound now was me panting as I fought to catch my breath.
“Why didn’t you put on the light?” I asked once I did. There was only the gentle rocking of the limo as it drove us home and the pounding of his heartbeat underneath my ear. “Didn’t you want to see me?”
“If I saw you, I would have fucked you, Barbette.”
And we both knew I would have let him.
Unfortunately, the car rolled to a stop, taking away our chance. Slowly, our heads turned toward the window. Seeing my parents’ house looming in the dark was a reminder of all the things that could never be. I was still throbbing and dripping sex all over his thigh when I gazed into his eyes once more. I hated his smugness and even more the adorable dimple appearing in his cheek when he smirked.
“Until next time,” he said as he tucked his still-hard dick back into his pants.
I wanted to sink to my knees and return the favor of unraveling him, but he’d been right before. If I sucked him off, we wouldn’t stop there. At least one of us had still been thinking clearly. It didn’t matter to me where I lost my virginity, but it mattered who I gave it to. My heart and body had chosen long ago, but my reality made it impossible.
Avoiding his gaze, I slowly climbed off his lap before pulling my dress back over my breasts and freeing the skirt from around my waist. “There won’t be a next time.” I still refused to look at him as I reached for the door. I was afraid he’d see the regret in my eyes or the tears that threatened to spill.
Jamie stopped me from running with a hand around my neck as he pulled me away from the door. “Easier said than done,” he whispered against my lips. “Especially when you haven’t had my cock inside you yet.”
“That will never happen, Jamie.”
“Two minutes ago you were begging for it, kitten. Allow me to respectfully disagree.”
I bristled at the confidence in his tone, remembering for the first time since he touched me that we were sworn to hate each other until the end of our days. Now that I’d come, mortification began to set in. And not just over what we’d done, but all the things I’
d been willing to do in the heat of the moment. All of my inhibitions had melted away, and Jamie hadn’t needed to use more than his mouth and hands to make it happen. I’d known he was dangerous before but now… now I was fucking terrified.
“Stay away from me, Jamie.”
“Why would I do that?” he arrogantly countered.
The hard set of his jaw and the conquering look in his eyes made me even more aware of the monumental mistake I’d made. I’d opened myself up to Jamie when there was no future for us, and now …he was falling all over again. I had two choices: I could push him away now or leave Jamie exposed to more heartache.
I heard the words spilling from my lips like acid, and even though I wanted to take them back, I knew I never could. “Because even with Ever out of the picture, you weren’t enough then, and you aren’t enough now.”
I couldn’t remember scrambling from the limo or rushing up the stairs to my bedroom. I couldn’t remember removing the beautiful gown that moments ago had been in disarray. I couldn’t even remember stepping inside the shower. But what I could remember was the utter devastation on Jamie’s face—the bleakness in his eyes just before he turned away, letting me go once and for all.
The hot spray of the shower drowned the sob that escaped me, and then the tears I knew weren’t for me fell and were washed away.
I see love, I break love. That’s what I do.
Summer… Six Years Ago
DUSK HAD ALREADY FALLEN, AND anyone under the age of sixteen without an adult had been required to leave. Ever, Vaughn, Jason, Jamie, and I managed to avoid security for about an hour before we were caught.
“I love your accent,” Rachel flirted. “Where are you from?”
I was grateful for the huge panda blocking my view of them as security escorted us to the exit. Watching Jamie flirt and enthrall not one, but all three of those girls made me realize they hadn’t been the ones on the hunt. They’d been prey all along.