by Sandi Ward
“It’s snowing so hard. Have you been watching out the window? It’s exciting, right? I wonder how many days school will be canceled.” The soothing tone of his voice is one he only uses on the phone, deeper than usual. “I miss you, too.” He sighs, and the expression on his face is serene as he studies his sketch. “Look, I have to tell you that my mom has cooked up some insane plan to send me and Del away to boarding school in Connecticut. Our tuition is already paid for.” There’s a long pause. “No, it’ll be okay. I told her I’m not going. I’d rather jump off a cliff. There’s no way I’d go.” He pauses, listening. “I know. I miss you so much. I wish you were here, stuck in the snowstorm with me.” He slumps down to lie on his bed, tracing the edges of the paper with his fingertips. “I don’t know. But it’s okay. If she drops me off down in Connecticut, I’ll just get on a bus and come right back.” He laughs. “Yes, I would. You know I would.”
His mood seems calmer. I decide to give him some time.
I hop back down the stairs and find Annika curled up on the old couch that faces the front window, with a novel in her lap. I take my place at her side but can’t relax. I feel restless as I listen to the truck engine revving and men hollering outside. I get up several times, ears alert, turning my head to decipher the strange sounds.
My ears twitch at the sound of music coming from upstairs. Delilah has started strumming her guitar.
Finally, the truck lights go out, and all is dark outside. It’s an ominous sign.
A sudden gust slams against the house and I watch snow swirl in the glow of the motion-sensor light above the front window. Human shapes move past, outside.
When the door swings open, a freezing burst of air whips through the room. Danny comes in first, ripping off his hat, gloves, coat, boots, and snow pants and throwing them in a heap on the front mat. His face is devoid of expression. I get the impression he’s holding something in. I intuitively know they didn’t fix whatever jam the truck is in.
Annika stands up and approaches carefully. “Let me hang up some of your wet clothes. Or maybe throw them in the dryer. Here, give me your stuff. Both of you.”
Danny sighs loudly, but reaches down to fish his hat and gloves out of the pile of clothes. Sam slowly takes the hat from his head and gloves from his hands and places them directly in Annika’s arms, looking embarrassed, as if he’s done something wrong.
Danny follows Annika as she walks down the hall to the kitchen, and I scamper behind. Somehow, I get the feeling he’s not trailing her to tell her what temperature to set the dryer on.
“Do you have more of that wine?” he asks, his face bright and flushed from the cold.
“You know I do,” she answers. “I don’t suppose you want some?”
I take a seat on the little rubber mat by the stove, looking up at the humans from my spot on the floor. The dryer is in a closet in the kitchen. Annika throws everything in the machine and turns the knob. When she turns back around, Danny is already picking up his wineglass, which she fills.
“Cheers.” He carefully clinks his glass against her coffee mug.
“Are you sure you should be drinking so much? Don’t you still have more driveways to clear tonight?” Her gaze wanders to the hallway, and I believe she’s waiting for Sam to appear.
“I’m sure.”
Sam comes into the kitchen, and he brightens when he sees Annika arranging mugs on the counter.
“I made another pot of coffee. It’s hot.”
“Thanks.” He watches Annika pour. “My back is killing me. And my hands are frozen. I couldn’t even hold the shovel anymore.” He lifts a hand to show her, his fingers curled as if holding a tennis ball.
Annika gently cups his hand with hers. “You’re not kidding.”
He stares down at the way she holds his fingers. “Your hand feels hot.”
“It does?” She hesitates. “In a good way, or in a bad way?”
He looks up, surprised. “In a good way.”
Annika smiles. Sam’s shoulders relax.
“Look at this,” he goes on, moving slightly closer to her, “I can’t even move these two fingers.”
She inspects his hand as if it’s fascinating, but there’s nothing to see as far as I can tell. “How did it go, by the way? Is the truck okay?”
I know the truck is still stuck. But no one has said otherwise. I look from human to human, waiting for the truth.
“Did you say your back is killing you, Sam?” Danny asks, his voice louder. “Wow. That’s a shame. Because if you think you’re tired now, imagine how you’re going to feel when you have to dig that truck out at the crack of dawn tomorrow morning.”
“Tomorrow morning?” Annika lets go of Sam’s hand.
“I screwed up, okay?” Sam says, swinging around to face his older brother. His cheeks and nose glow as his body adjusts to the warmth of the kitchen. “It’s a blizzard. What do you want me to do, Dan?”
Danny takes a swallow of his wine and shakes his head. He turns toward Annika. “The wind is whipping the snow into drifts and boxing us in. We can’t dig out the truck fast enough because the snow blows right back where it was. And since Sam drove the truck over a rock or something—”
“Dan, I didn’t see—”
Danny puts a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I told you, Sam. I’ve told you this before. You shouldn’t drive the truck. Ever. I should be at the wheel at all times. You’re good at paper and pencils and not driving a goddamn snowplow. How many times do I have to tell you? You don’t listen. You never change. You always have to do everything your way.”
Sam glares at his brother. “Come on. I’m here to help you, and all you do is complain about it. I quit my job—a job I actually liked—and came here to help.”
“I didn’t ask you to do that,” Danny says, his eyes opening wide. He throws a hand out to the side and gestures toward the front yard, where the truck sits abandoned. “DAD ASKED YOU. It was Dad who wanted you to come help. Not me. Don’t forget that.”
Sam makes a face like he’s tasted something bitter. “Well, obviously he thinks you need help. He called me and asked me to quit my job for A REASON. I know the finances are a mess—” But he stops short, with a quick glance at Annika.
I slink over to sit under a dining room chair. I don’t like raised voices. It fills me with alarm and makes my fur stand on end.
Danny lays his hands flat on the kitchen counter. “That’s Dad’s fault, not mine. The company has Trung. And Hien. WE DO NOT NEED YOU, Sam. I wish you never quit your job. That wasn’t what I wanted. Now we’re one truck down. And that’s a brand-new truck, by the way. I hope it’s not damaged. Truck repairs are the last thing we can afford.” He grabs his phone from the back pocket of his jeans and holds it up. “I called Trung and told him to go home and sleep for a few hours, and gave him the list of people we can’t get to tonight. If we lose customers due to this fiasco, it’s on you.”
“Take it easy.” Annika holds a hand up. “My kids are going to wonder what’s going on down here.”
Sam quiets his voice. “Look, we won’t lose customers. Trung works fast. And I’m sorry we’re stuck. I think we just need a new tire, but whatever happened, it was an accident. I didn’t see a rock. Maybe I drove over something that was covered in snow, but who knows? It’s impossible to see where the driveway ends and the yard begins.”
Granted, I’m feeling a bit slow. My brain is fuzzy from all the commotion. But what is happening here exactly? If they aren’t going to try to get the truck out until morning, then what is the plan . . . ?
Oh.
Seriously?
Annika clears her throat. “So you can’t fix the truck tonight?”
They stare down at the kitchen counter. Danny takes a napkin from the caddy and wipes his mouth.
“No, Annie,” Sam says softly, peeking up at her with a sweet look. “We’d normally catch a little sleep at this point, seeing as conditions are so bad—a total whiteout—but we can’t get home. Can
we stay here? We’ll get up real early and go. We won’t wake you. We’ll just sneak out.”
My heart squeezes in my chest. Of course. They need to stay here overnight. And Sam assumes Annika will say yes, because she’s known him for a long time, from what I gather.
Well, he did ask nicely.
“Sure,” Annika agrees, never taking her eyes off of Sam. “It’s no problem. You must be exhausted.”
“Sorry—I meant to say Annika.” Sam turns to Danny. “No one calls her Annie anymore.”
“Oh. I see.” Danny tips his head to study her. “Annika, it is, then. You’re the boss. I don’t want to piss off the nice lady serving me good wine.”
Sam says he needs to make a quick phone call. He comes back toward me to sit in a dining room chair. He descends slowly, wincing with pain, and shakes out his hands before trying to use the phone.
Annika watches Sam a moment. “Want to go sit in the den when you’re done with your call?”
He turns his attention to her, surprised. “Yeah, definitely. Just give me a minute.”
I get up and follow Annika into the back den, which is full of books on shelves surrounding a fireplace. The dust makes me sneeze. Most of the furniture in this room is not ours; it was here when we arrived. The couch is dark blue, and the pillows are white with a starfish design. There’s a set of shells on the mantel: a conch, clamshells, and a dried sea urchin. Danny enters the room behind us. I take a seat on the cold bricks of the hearth.
“Is Sam calling his wife?” Annika asks quietly, sitting down on the couch.
“Wife?” Danny is distracted, hunting around the room for something. “No, probably his daughter.”
“Oh.” Annika’s hand flies to her mouth, and she chews on her thumb a moment, lost in thought.
Danny finds a large bottle in a desk drawer. “Hmm. Your dad’s got good taste in whiskey.” He unscrews the cap and takes a drink right from the bottle, like Donovan chugging chocolate milk.
“What are you doing?”
He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Do you mind? You don’t drink, right? I’ll replace it. I’ve known your dad a long time, you know. He used to coach me in rec basketball.”
She raises a skeptical eyebrow. “Oh, sure. In that case, make yourself right at home. Help yourself to whatever you like. My dad might have left some cash in the bottom drawer, if you need it.”
Danny chuckles and sits in a worn-out armchair, covered in a denim material that’s faded and fraying at the seams. He almost seems too big for the chair, his legs spread out. “So. Where’s the husband? You married? Or did you come back here to Manchester after a divorce?”
Annika tugs at her skirt, which rode up a little as she sat down. “My husband passed away,” she says smoothly, as if it is something less important than it really is. “In his sleep. It was unexpected.”
“Ah, sorry. You don’t hear that every day. That’s rough.” Danny still has the bottle in his hands. “When did that happen?”
I stare at Danny, my whiskers tingling. He doesn’t seem sick. He doesn’t look skinny or weak. On the contrary, he looks rugged and confident. But I know what I felt when he held me. The sickness. I can’t figure him out.
“About a year and a half ago. Sleep apnea. He went to bed one night and just never woke up.”
“What? That’s terrible. I’m sorry to hear that.” Danny runs a hand through his hair and appears genuinely troubled.
The truth is, it’s unusual for a human so young to up and die from random causes. It must make Danny stop and think: Could I be next?
I think that Danny could, in fact, be next.
“How’d you guys meet?”
Annika stares down at her hands. “Peter and I met senior year, when he transferred to Manchester High School. He moved here from—”
The wood floor creaks as someone comes into the room. “You’re talking about Peter?”
Sam moves rapidly toward them, and Danny sits up straight when he sees the look on his brother’s face.
“Yes. My husband, Peter.”
“Peter. Wait—Peter from high school is your husband?”
“Yes, that Peter. The one and only.” She turns to explain it to Danny. “As I was saying, he moved here from Germany.”
“Did ya know him, Sam?” Danny tips his head. “It’s a really small high school. You must have known him, right?”
Sam doesn’t respond. He looks suspicious, as if Annika is pulling an elaborate joke on him.
Annika takes in a deep breath. Just like she used to do when she was trying to get herself to stop crying over Peter’s death.
“He was in the car accident with us,” Sam says quietly, never taking his eyes off of my woman. He folds his arms and frowns, still puzzled.
Danny’s mouth hangs open. “That kid? The one who lost his leg? Whoa. You ended up marrying him?”
“Yes, I did. My parents put a wedding announcement in the local papers. I guess you didn’t see it. We didn’t get married up here. Peter and I moved to Connecticut after we graduated from college because I got into NYU graduate school and they offered me a job. So the ceremony was down there.”
“Connecticut?” Danny is incredulous, and he makes a face. “All of those Yankee fans. How could you stand it?”
Annika tries to smile, but her lips don’t quite make it.
“I didn’t know about any of that.” Sam has gone stiff, his back straight.
“Well, why would you? When we got married, we had no cell phones, computers, or social media, right? It was possible back then to just disconnect and disappear.” She swallows. “You did. You disappeared.”
Sam presses his lips together tight.
There’s a thumping upstairs. The kids must still be awake.
“Okay. That’s fair,” Sam says slowly. “It’s true that after I left for college, I stayed in California for a long time. I lost track of everyone. I didn’t think anyone in this town would want to see me.” Sam rubs his cheek, as if someone has just slapped him. “But . . . I can’t believe you married Peter.”
Annika waves at him, as if pushing aside that thought. “Well, I didn’t know it would turn out that way. Peter and I both went to college in Boston, and we stayed in touch, and—”
“But that summer,” Sam interrupts, his voice a little louder. “That summer, right after graduation. Did you start going out with him then?”
Danny looks up at Sam. “Buddy. Calm down.” He speaks quietly but firmly, playing the role of the reasonable and patient older brother.
Sam squints and peers around the room, as if expecting to see Peter hiding in some dark corner. “I just—you married him? When I said take care of him, Annie, that’s not exactly what I meant.”
“Sam.” Danny stands up. “Goddamn it. HE DIED. He’s dead. Shut up before you say something stupid you regret.”
It takes Sam a moment to register what Danny is saying. His face goes blank. “What?”
“Shhh. My kids are upstairs.” Annika stands, wringing her hands together. “Yes, he died. Look. I’m sorry if you’re not happy I married him, Sam. But what’s done is done. There’s no point in getting upset over what happened a long time ago.”
We all freeze as the lights flicker again. I lift my head.
Sam puts a hand up to his chest as if checking to make sure his heart is still beating. I jump up on all paws. Is he okay?
“Wait,” he says. “Hold on. Let me just back up a minute.” He turns to his brother. “Dan, could you give us a minute? Maybe call Dad?”
“I actually already . . .” He pauses. “Yeah, you know what? I talked to Dad, but I can check in on Mom. Excuse me a minute.”
Annika and Sam watch him go. There are footsteps overhead, which sound to me like Delilah heading down the hall to Donovan’s room.
They’re quiet for a moment. Sam finally walks around to sit on the couch next to Annika. He stares into the fireplace, eyes glazed over. Annika has logs stacked in there, ready
to go, but hasn’t had a fire in a week or two. Cold ash has accumulated in the corners.
“I’m sorry.” Sam lowers his voice and folds his hands together as if getting ready to pray, turning toward Annika. He speaks slowly, carefully choosing each word. “I didn’t know you married him, and I didn’t know he’d passed away.”
“It’s okay, Sam. I should’ve mentioned it sooner.” Annika settles into the couch, slumping back.
“How long ago did he die?”
“About a year and a half. Sixteen months. He died in his sleep. Of sleep apnea. It was—” She shakes her head, unable to go on.
“Wow. That’s terrible. I can’t imagine waking up next to him in the morning. It must have been such a shock.”
“No, no, no.” She cuts him off. “I wasn’t even home, and I can’t talk about that right now.” Annika rubs her forehead, and her hand is trembling. “I’ve been a mess, Sam. A total disaster. Please talk to me about something else. Not that. Anything else.” She lifts her chin. “Tell me about you.”
He inhales, then gives her a shy smile. “Me? There’s not much to tell. Look, we’re all a mess. You’re not the only one.” His licks his bottom lip and thinks about it. “Life is never perfect. I’ve only been working with Danny for six months, and I miss my old job. I wish our dad hadn’t asked me to quit.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s fine. I’m happy to see you.” Sam’s face lights up with a thought. “If my dad hadn’t asked me to move back here and work for him, I might not have run into you. But now you’re here, and suddenly this town doesn’t look so bad.”
She smiles. And then laughs.
He goes on, encouraged. “You know, I can’t believe you’re here, in this house. And you’ve got two great kids.”
“I do.” Her voice softens. “Danny said you have a daughter? But you’re not married?”
“No, I’m not married. I had a girlfriend for a long time, but we never made it official. My daughter lives with me right now, at my parents’ house.” He raises an eyebrow. “Like I said, it’s not perfect. But it’s okay.”