by Rhys Everly
I pushed myself up and shrugged.
“I changed my mind,” I teased.
The evil glare Nathan gave me got me to drop back down to him in no time.
Gee! That man loved his blowjobs even though he pretended to be intellectual.
Worked for me, though.
I unbuttoned his fly and pulled his briefs to get straight down to business.
He was rock hard already, and I felt him tremble when I ran my tongue across his slit, tasting the precum already there.
“You’re fucking sin,” Nathan groaned.
I didn’t answer him. Instead, I took him in my mouth, reacquainting myself with his manhood. Licking the veins around his length and memorizing which one made him squirm.
He put a hand on my hair making me think he was about to pull me up and stop me. Instead, he just pushed me down, and I happily obliged, taking him down my throat.
The more I sucked, the more his cock throbbed and the gentler his hand on my head went. It moved from the top of my head, down to my neck to massage it, then traced his palm across my shoulder blades.
“Fuck me,” he moaned.
I sucked him harder, my cheeks hollowing with the intensity I was putting in his blow.
“Uh-huh,” I groaned.
“No. I want you to fuck me,” he said.
I sat up and looked him in the eye.
“R-really?”
Nathan glanced at me and bit his lip hungrily, then flashed his indicator and exited the highway on the next available exit.
He drove down a country road that looked a lot like the one leading to my house and parked the car by the side of the road.
I lowered my seat and Nathan climbed on top of me, kissing me mouth first, rubbing his naked cock on mine.
“You’re so hot—” I groaned, but found my mouth shut by Nathan’s hand.
“Don’t talk,” he said. “Just… don’t.”
His eyes bored into mine, begging me to stop but keep going.
He licked my neck and pulled my T-shirt down by the collar, planting wet trails on my chest.
Just as the seams started to crackle in the air, he let go of my stretched collar and lifted the hem of the shirt instead, continuing his downward path to my groin.
He raised the band and hungrily took me in his mouth, and my head rolled back as a roar climbed out of me.
The heat of his mouth enveloped me all the way to my base. My stomach sinking into a breath I didn’t want to hold but had no option but to. His tongue pressed on me as his teeth gently scratched the skin of my length, the sting making me jolt, giving me goosebumps, making me search for something, anything, to grapple on before I came to my undoing.
Then, just as quickly as he’d taken me in his mouth, he released me. His face was a puzzle, his gaze avoiding mine, focusing instead on my cock, which he’d taken in his palm.
As if deciding something, he rubbed me and lifted his eyes to look at me.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
He nodded, a forced smile on his face.
Was he not enjoying this? Was I doing something wrong? What was going on?
I watched him bite his lower lip, but not in pleasure, more in contemplation.
He put his arms to the sides and hoisted himself up—as much as possible in the confines of that car—and pulled his pants all the way down.
“Fuck me,” he said. “Come on.”
He spat on his hand and rubbed the hand along my length, wetting me, then licked his fingers and put his hand behind him between his buttcheeks.
Clumsily, he climbed out of one hem of his pants as he tried to sit on me, pressing my cock against his hole, his eyes staring at my chest instead of me.
I wasn’t lubed enough, so he kept spitting on his hand to moisten both of us, getting more and more frustrated when things weren’t moving along.
I watched him argue with himself, get frustrated, unable to stop what was going on because I had no idea what caused it.
But my dick was able to. Because it went soft—to the further annoyance of Nathan—and that put my head right back in the car.
“Nathan. Nathan,” I shouted, placing my fingers under his chin to force him to look at me while using my other hand to put my dick back in my underpants. “What’s going on? What are you doing?”
Nathan finally looked up at me, the blue eyes looking whiter and brighter than normal. He looked defeated.
“It’s nothing,” he said.
“Then why are you acting like you really don’t want to be doing this?” I asked him.
He sat on my lap, his dick flopping on my stomach as well.
Yeah, the moment was definitely over. And I wasn’t angry about it in the slightest. Or frustrated. Not with that, anyway. I was annoyed with how Nathan was acting.
And with myself because I’d probably done something to make him feel that way.
“I do. I do. I just—” he sighed, and I watched him take several breaths.
“What? You can tell me,” I said.
Nathan hesitated, biting his lip, then in a flip of a second he shuffled to put his pants back on and climbed back to his seat. I brought mine up.
“This is too complicated,” he said.
“What is?” I asked him, the sinking feeling already eating at my chest.
“This,” he said, gesticulating between us. Then he switched the car engine on and drove off.
“Why? What’s complicated?” I asked.
“Where do I start?” he said. “I’m your teacher for once.”
“Tutor,” I corrected him. “And you’re the same age as me.”
“That’s beside the point. I’m supposed to be teaching you. Not taking advantage of you.”
“You’re not taking advantage of me.”
“I am. You have… feelings for me. And I’m using you even though I know how you feel.”
He wasn’t even looking at me anymore. His attention was fully back on the road as we rejoined the highway on the way back to Cedarwood Beach.
“But I don’t mind you using me,” I said.
“But I do. I’m not that kind of person. And don’t get me started on our history. This is just wrong. One of us, or both of us, are going to get hurt if we keep doing this,” he said.
“How do you know that? How do you—”
“Because you can’t have friends with benefits without things getting complicated. Otherwise everyone would have them,” he shouted.
I had a suspicion he was shouting more at himself than me. As if he was trying to talk himself out of it and not me.
I wish I could text him as Sweet_Peaches and find out what the hell was going on. I was certain he’d tell me as MrRomantic.
But I couldn’t.
So I had to at least try as myself.
“We don’t have to be friends with benefits,” I told him.
He shook his head.
“How? You won’t get your hands off me. And I-well I can’t fucking stop,” he said.
“That’s not what I meant,” I said and placed my hand on his thigh softly. “Nathan. I like you. I more than like you. You know that. And you like me. You can’t deny it. Otherwise you… you’d be able to resist me. Why can’t we be more than just friends?”
Nathan took a deep breath that made his body, and mine, shudder and then laughed.
“How? You’re not even out of the closet. You’re a baby in gay terms. And we’re not… we’re just not right for each other.”
He didn’t mean that. I knew he didn’t mean that.
Right?
“How do you know?” I asked, but whatever spirit I had was already dissolving into a wave of sadness that I knew would haunt me for days.
“I just… I just do,” he said.
“But—”
“No buts. I’m putting my foot down. From now on we’re friends. Just friends. Nothing more. I’ll help you pass your GED. I’ll help you with your writing. But nothing else. No benefits. Agreed?”
<
br /> I didn’t even know what to say anymore.
Was I so unlovable that Nathan couldn’t see past our history?
Why was he so certain I’d hurt him? Did he not believe me? Did he not trust me? Did he still think I was a bully?
I had so many questions. But I couldn’t ask him. He’d made up his mind. All I could hope for was that he’d confide in Sweet_Peaches.
And if that didn’t work? Then I had no idea what I was going to do. But I knew for sure there was nothing in Virginia for me.
If Nathan didn’t want me, I had nothing out here.
Twenty-Eight
Nathan
MrRomantic: Are you okay?
Sweet_Peaches: Sure.
MrRomantic: You don’t sound so sure.
Sweet_Peaches: Why? Do you have cameras in my house? How do you know?
MrRomantic: Lol?
Sweet_Peaches: Of course lol.
MrRomantic: Did I do something?
Sweet_Peaches: No.
MrRomantic: There’s something going on with you. You never used to reply in one worded sentences before.
Sweet_Peaches: It’s nothing.
Sweet_Peaches: See? Two-worded sentences.
MrRomantic: Haha. #notconvinced
Sweet_Peaches: What do you want me to say?
MrRomantic: I dunno. A joke?
Sweet_Peaches: Knock knock.
MrRomantic: Who’s there.
Sweet_Peaches: Break.
MrRomantic: Break who?
Sweet_Peaches: Heartbreak.
MrRomantic: Oh.
Sweet_Peaches: Oh.
MrRomantic: That’s not funny.
Sweet_Peaches: It is a bit.
MrRomantic: I don’t get it.
Sweet_Peaches: You will one day.
MrRomantic: O…kay…
MrRomantic: I thought you didn’t do dating.
Sweet_Peaches: I don’t.
MrRomantic: Then what?
Sweet_Peaches: Nevermind.
MrRomantic: Is it me?
Sweet_Peaches: No. It’s me. Probably.
MrRomantic: Probably.
Sweet_Peaches: Yeah.
MrRomantic: Do you want to talk on the phone? You’re not making sense.
Sweet_Peaches: It’s fine. I just need some time.
MrRomantic: Okay. Take all the time you need.
MrRomantic: Just don’t ghost me.
MrRomantic: Or I’ll hunt you down and punch you in the face.
Sweet_Peaches: Charming.
MrRomantic: I was going for romantic.
Sweet_Peaches: I never noticed.
The two peaches were looking at me mockingly.
Somehow in the last four days, I’d managed to screw up my friendship with Hudson and Sweet_Peaches.
At the very least, I knew what I’d done to Hudson. The very thing I was scared of to start with.
But Sweet_Peaches? I had no idea what was wrong with him.
He’d probably found a real boyfriend and spent all his time with him but was too scared to cut me off.
Or he was bored of me.
Or both.
Probably both.
But then again, he’d mentioned heartbreak.
I watched across the café as Hudson made coffees with a skill he didn’t possess a few weeks ago.
He’d come a long way.
And I’d torn him down.
It was for the best. Better to cut things off while they were still new than get too invested and come out the other side as broken goods.
Because that was the only outcome, wasn’t it? Being with Hudson wasn’t an option.
So why the fuck couldn’t I get my own words out of my head.
The ones I’d said in the car?
Why did I keep thinking Hudson deserved a fair chance?
I knew in my head it was my heart being stupid. Hudson and I would only end up in disaster.
But those peaches he’d put down on the table for me while I waited for him to finish work? Those peaches were mocking me still, in so many ways.
Amidst the mind fuck of whatever was going on with Sweet_Peaches, I was actually tempted to taste them for once.
Hudson had been bringing me fruit since day one. A way to build a bridge past our differences, I assumed, but now that I knew what he felt for me was all the more reason why I wouldn’t touch them.
Even if they called to me and my damn sweet tooth.
Would peach be nice in a beer?
Maybe a strong Lambic. With the right fermentation period and the perfect hops, it could be a killer.
I reached for one, the redder one, and rolled it around in my hand.
“Eat it,” he shouted across the café, and I turned to see him glaring at me with an exasperated look while frothing milk on the machine.
Some of the customers turned to look at him then me.
“No,” I shouted and put it down.
The girl at the register laughed, and Hudson shook his head.
I wasn’t going to give him the pleasure. No more leading him on. No more needy looks and impassioned speeches.
We were friends, goddamnit. That’s all we were ever going to be.
“See? I told you he’s a jerk,” I heard him comment to the girl, and I looked up at him and stuck my tongue out. “And immature.”
“Yeah, I can see,” the girl giggled.
My phone rang and Maya’s name flashed across the screen.
I slid my thumb across the screen and was immediately assaulted with a red-faced mess of a Maya who could barely move her hands to tell me what was wrong.
I tried to stay calm. But fuck, it was so hard when your sister was a literal mess in front of your very eyes and you couldn’t do anything to get her attention or soothe her through a phone.
“What happened?” I signed and said at the same time. It was always a struggle to just sign when I was concerned or upset.
She wiped her snot, but that simple action seemed to start another round of panting.
“Is Rebecca there? Rebecca?” My voice was louder than intended, but I had to get her roommate’s attention somehow.
“I’m-I’m here. Sorry. I was trying to get her some water,” Rebecca said, appearing on the screen and taking Maya’s phone in her hands.
“What the fuck happened?”
Okay, now I was shouting. But I didn’t give a shit.
“Oh boy. Where do I start? You know Linc, yeah?” she asked.
“What the hell did he do to her?” I slapped my hand on the table, and a few patrons glared at me.
Again, I didn’t care.
“Well, she found out he’s a jerk. Or I should say, I heard him on the phone and then told her he’s a jerk.”
“What did he do?”
I could still hear Maya’s sniffles, but finding out what happened was all that was keeping me from getting up and going to her dorm to comfort her.
“Well, it seems he placed a bet with his friends.”
“A bet?” I asked.
“He bet he can make the ‘deaf chick’ fall in love with him,” she said, air-quoting with her free hand.
“He what?” Okay, now I was shouting, but could anyone blame me? “I’m coming over.”
“Please do. I think the more people she has around her right now, the better. She’s already missed two classes today and is saying how she doesn’t want to go to college anymore,” Rebecca said.
Maya met Rebecca at high school when they sat next to each other. Becca surprised Maya by learning to sign just so she could talk to her and be her friend.
After Mom passed away and with no viable educational options, Luke had convinced Maya to go to public school. He’d made all the arrangements for her, made sure they all knew she’d been homeschooled all her life, but it had still been a daunting experience for her.
Without Rebecca, she wouldn’t have made it through.
I always thought Rebecca had a crush on Maya, but if she did, she had never said anything.
But boy, if her eyes could speak.
“I’ll be there in two,” I said and hung up.
I picked up all my stuff, and Hudson came over.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“No,” I snapped at him, then immediately apologized.
It wasn’t his fault Maya’s heart was breaking.
“I need to cancel our lesson today. Maya’s a mess,” I said.
I turned to leave when he reached up to grab my shoulder and turn me back around.
“Why? What’s wrong?”
What did I tell him? That a bastard broke her heart? Just like I’d done with his?
“I-I don’t have time right now. I need to go.” I fumbled with my stuff, but he wouldn’t let me go.
“I’ll come with you. You look way too upset.”
“I am beyond upset. I’m fuming,” I said.
“Okay, I’m definitely coming with you.”
Hudson sat me back down and approached the counter to talk to his colleague.
I didn’t deserve being his friend. Why was he being so nice when I’d hurt him?
Because he was both good and caring. There was no more denying it.
Twenty-Nine
Hudson
“I really need to go, Natalie. My friend needs me,” I said, even though Nathan was more than a friend.
Maybe not any more. Maybe not to him. But to me, he was still the man I loved.
“That’s fine. You were finishing soon, anyway. Go and help your friend,” she said.
She had done a full one-eighty in the last couple of weeks. Natalie had even come to me to apologize for how she treated me in the beginning. It probably had helped that I’d gotten better and that I could now do a shift with her without being a burden.
“Thanks, Nat,” I said and ran to the staffroom to pick up my stuff.
When I got back, Nathan wasn’t there anymore.
Where the hell had he gone? I told him to wait.
“He just left,” Natalie said as she rang an order through.
I thanked her and ran outside. I saw him marching across the green, and I ran after him, calling his name, but he never turned.
“Did I do something?” I asked him.
I knew Maya was in some sort of trouble, but he was also acting as if I had done something wrong. And I was fully aware that we should be focusing on Maya, but I needed to know. I was trying to help him, and he just ran away from me. I thought he still wanted to be friends, but he wasn’t acting like it.