by L J Andrews
I scooted up in bed, my brain returning to hazy focus. What happened? I’d experienced a hangover, but the way my head groaned this morning was something in the realm of boiling alive—but I hadn’t been drinking. What did I do last night? My mind was a blackboard, and all my memories the chalk, and someone had tossed a bucket of water against the board. Everything was a jumbled mess.
“Tattoos? I don’t have a tattoo,” I grumbled.
“Oh, yeah? Then what are those?” Sapphire said, pointing at my forearms. It was then a memory of my arms returned. They’d been dipped in molten rock—that’s what I remembered.
My stomach gurgled when I scanned my skin. Sapphire wasn’t lying, beginning at my wrists on both arms were gilded-green designs. The intricate ribbons of color swooped like delicate calligraphy in an impressive pattern ending at the crook of my elbows. All around my forearms the tattoos curved, swooped, and stained the skin.
“Sir, I…I truly don’t remember doing this…” I trailed off, my voice stammered against my tongue.
“Of course you don’t, that’s where the drinking came in. You’re stripped of your room privilege for at least a month, and you’ll have extra duties around the house, two group sessions per week, and no electronic privileges for six weeks.”
“No, Mr. Sapphire,” I was grappling for a flicker of a memory. “I didn’t drink.” Quickly I stuffed the collar of my shirt against my nose, searching for a hint of alcohol. It smelled like sweat and a rancid sort of smoke. “I wouldn’t do that—not to Aunt Liz.”
“Well, you did, Teagan,” Sapphire said, albeit a little kinder. “Look, backslides are expected. This was a major one, but all we can do is wipe the slate clean and try harder. Your revoked privileges aren’t to discourage you, they’re to help you succeed.”
“Mitch!” I shouted. “I was with Mitch, he’ll tell you.”
Sapphire sighed and stepped out into the hall, dragging a sullen-faced Mitch into the room. “Mitch, Teagan seems to think you were with him yesterday.”
Mitch eyed me with the same sort of disappointment. “Dude, you skipped school. You left during lunch and said you’d be back later. Just fess up. It’s all good. We’re still cool, just don’t drag me down with you.”
I flopped back onto the pillow, covering my bleeding eyes. Occasionally I would glance at the tattoos. They weren’t normal, no, I’d seen plenty of ink, and these were something on an entirely different level. From my limited experience I knew these would take more than one session, they were that beautiful and complex. No way I’d staggered in drunk out of my mind and found the most brilliant tattoo artist on the planet. The ink was strange, almost shimmering like real gold in the light, but it was as smooth as my skin when I dragged my fingers over the surface. I wanted to say as much, but by the way Sapphire and Mitch were watching me, I knew all rebuttals would fall on deaf ears.
“Get up for school, Teagan,” Sapphire muttered. “The bus will be here soon.”
“I really don’t feel like I can even move, sir.” I wasn’t prone to begging, not in the least, but this morning I would kiss Sapphire’s bare feet if the man would allow me to stay in bed.
“That isn’t really my problem,” Sapphire responded softly, almost like it was difficult to say. “This was your choice. Now, get up, or we’ll make it five demerits.”
I rubbed the bridge of my nose, watching through narrow slits as Sapphire stomped from my room. Mitch shifted around a bit before moving toward my closet. “Come on, man. You can get through it. We’ll get you some coffee and you’ll be fine.”
Reluctantly I rolled onto my shoulder when Mitch tossed me clean clothes. “Mitch, I’m telling you—I have no memories of last night. I’ve partied before, but I always have bits and pieces. Look at these,” I held up my arms. “Are you telling me in a matter of what, an hour, someone did these?”
Mitch shrugged. “You don’t remember anything, but I do. We were eating lunch. You were frustrated Jade was eating with Raffi and you left. You told me you’d be back later and asked if I would tell Sapphire you were studying late after school. I really was going to lie for you, but by the time I got home you were back sleeping off your bender. I’ve never seen Sapphire so flustered. Come on, get dressed. Teagan,” Mitch muttered, before leaving the room. “Don’t let a girl distract you from why you’re really here. This is our time to fix ourselves. Don’t waste it, okay?”
I shook my head. Inside my mouth tasted like I’d swallowed pure vinegar and all I wanted was water. Slipping off the T-shirt from yesterday, I pulled on the long-sleeved shirt Mitch had given me, no doubt to cover my new body art. Tattoos in Wyvern High School were against the dress code—I’d seen it on the bold list of rules in the orientation packet. Long-sleeves in the heat from now on. Perfect.
I closed my eyes on the bus, the sun was my mortal enemy, and the shrill shouts of all the reform students were shattering what was left of my skull. Mitch and Graham didn’t bother me, though Graham offered a few curious glances before I curled against the cool window and closed my eyes. If I thought the bus ride was difficult, walking into the bustling high school with all its ink, paper, and teenage smells was like burying my body in burning sand while a jackhammer pounded on my forehead.
“Here,” Mitch snipped on the way to our first period. He handed me a thermos. “Sapphire already had it made this morning. He said he added a few things that should help.”
“Like what?” I grimaced, gagging against the bitter smell.
“I don’t know, I think some meds for your headache.”
“I’ll take anything,” I grumbled, following Mitch to our seats at the back of the class. The drink wasn’t bad, definitely some kind of coffee, but it had a strange woodsy aftertaste I couldn’t decide if I liked. Halfway through the class, though, I was praising Sapphire’s name. My head was drawing back into focus and my skin wasn’t a boiling lake, just faint tingles reminded me of my former agony.
I was still slogging through the day by the time I went to Mrs. Tiddel’s class; the only bright spot was the thought of seeing Jade. Mitch blamed Jade for my stupidity, but that just didn’t sound quite right. Raffi and Dash walked in first, both looking a little haggard but groomed like always. I glanced up, meeting Raffi’s scowl. Both Dash and Raffi took their seats, but Jade never came. The empty space between me and Raffi was a glaring reminder something had happened, and I had no idea what was the truth and what was a story. I wanted to ask, but when I faced Raffi, I stopped when both Raffi and Dash were eyeing me from the corners of their eyes. Their jaws were locked tight, and it seemed like they wanted to keep me in their sights, but didn’t want me to know.
Instead of listening to the lecture on writing styles, I rested my head on my burning arms and closed my eyes. Maybe I had spun out of control. Was I really so addicted to old habits? Everyone told me the same story, yet the longer I thought on it, the more befuddled I felt. The last period of the day released early and I trudged toward the front doors to wait for the bus. I felt better, but wouldn’t mind sleeping the rest of the day. Knowing Sapphire, that certainly wouldn’t happen.
“Teagan,” Ms. Drake’s smooth voice called at me from behind. I turned slowly, suddenly embarrassed by the fact I probably looked like I’d climbed out of the pit of hell. “Would you come to my office, please?”
I said nothing, but simply altered course and followed Ms. Drake. Jade’s mother had a way of turning her kind, youthful face into a stern, frightening expression. Ms. Drake didn’t take her place behind her desk, instead she was standing directly in front of the desk, motioning for me to sit.
“I received a phone call from Konrad Sapphire this morning. I’m disturbed to hear what happened, and frankly disappointed. This type of behavior is not where the values of Wyvern High lie, Mr. Ward.”
“I know, Ms. Drake.”
“Teagan, I’m not blind. I’m speaking more on a personal note now, and I hope you’ll forgive me, but it must be said.” Ms. Drake shifted alon
g the desk, her red lips pressed into a tight line. “It’s come to my attention you have sparked a…friendship with my daughter. I know you’ve seen Jade at Wyvern Reform, but I must ask you to please keep your distance. Jade doesn’t need any distractions and has enough to worry about.”
I gaped at the woman, my throat tightening. “I wouldn’t ever harm, Jade. No matter what I do, I wouldn’t—”
“Not intentionally, dear. I know that. There are just certain difficulties my daughter has experienced in her short life, and I need to do my duty as her mother to keep her safe. You understand?”
I shook my head, my heart pounding wildly as I drew my fingers through my hair. “No, Ms. Drake, I don’t. I’m sorry, but nothing about what has happened to me since coming here makes sense.”
“I’m sure it’s difficult leaving your home.”
“That’s not it,” I insisted, but didn’t add to the thought. I would certainly seem insane if I spoke about the electric pulse that seemed to ignite around her daughter. Or the way I felt like this place carried secrets—secrets that somehow had involved me. “I can’t explain it, and I know everyone says I went wild last night. I don’t think so. May I ask something?”
“Of course.”
“Did you have Jade moved out of my class?”
Ms. Drake sighed. That was the only answer I needed. “Try to understand, Teagan. The both of you need to focus on yourselves. You need to figure the path you’ll take, and so does Jade, but independent of the other. It’s really in the best interest of everyone.”
I thought I might vomit. I only admitted it inwardly, but Wyvern Willows was changing me. Sure, most days I despised the place, but in the quiet of the night when the songs of the forest sang in my ears, there was a spirit in the trees that almost beckoned for me to stay.
“Can I have your assurance that you will only worry about Teagan for now? We want all students to succeed, and that includes you,” Ms. Drake finally asked after a somber moment passed.
“Fine, Ms. Drake,” I muttered. “May I go?”
“Yes, the busses are arriving. Have a good weekend, Teagan.”
I didn’t say anything more. A good weekend meant sleeping on a cot, no TV, no outdoor privileges, and only algebra to keep me company.
Taking a deep breath when the other students were allowed their free time, I dialed Aunt Liz’s number while Sapphire sat across the office buried in a thick book. My knee bounced while I waited until the click at the other end and Aunt Liz’s voice sent my heart into my stomach.
“Hi, Aunt Liz,” I said slowly.
“Teagan,” she said curtly. “Did you sleep it off?”
Clearing my throat, I turned away from Sapphire and lowered my voice. “I wanted to tell you…I’m sorry.” Though I still maintained my innocence, no one else seemed ready to listen.
“I’ve heard that before,” she snapped. “You promised me you would follow the rules. That you would do this right, so you could come home. I don’t know why I thought this time I could trust you.”
“Aunt Liz, I really am sorry,” I said. In all my years, I’d never heard her speak so dryly, so angrily. I’d really messed up—even if I couldn’t remember—I had to fix this.
“You know what, T? I’m sorry too. I’m sorry you keep looking for happiness in a life that will never bring lasting happiness.”
“That’s not it, Aunt Liz—”
“No, I’m not ready to hear your excuses,” she interrupted. “I’m pleased to know you’re safe. I’m over the moon they’re punishing you, and I hope you know I’ll always love you. I have to go, T. Your choices are in your hands now. I pray you’ll be good, that you’ll try harder.”
Liz hung up, leaving me sitting stiff in the chair, the phone still against my ear. She’d never hung up on me before.
“She’s upset, Teagan. Just give her a little time. The best way to prove you mean it is by your actions,” Sapphire said softly.
“That’s what I was trying to do.”
Sapphire glanced to the ground. “Still holding onto the idea that you don’t have any recollection of what you did?”
“Yes, because it’s the truth. I’ve also accepted no one here will believe me, so that’s the last I’ll say about the night.” Sapphire seemed torn—really torn over what I said. Running his fingers through his beard, he stared blankly at a painting of the mountainside hanging behind his desk. “Did you want to say something?” I muttered when Sapphire didn’t say anything more.
With a grunt, Sapphire rose from his seat and placed the book on the corner of the desk. “I just want you to know I think you’re bound for greater things. You can do this, you just have to learn to trust your instincts. There will be those who are willing to help you when the time comes, it’s just up to you to trust us and let us in.”
“Thanks,” I spat. “I’ll keep that in mind next time I wake up tatted and completely confused. It was nice feeling all the support for that.”
I didn’t ask permission to leave, but Sapphire didn’t stop me either. Upstairs I could hear laughing as the students piled into the large bonus room for popcorn, soda, and a movie. Not me. I was due for lights out on a cot. When I was tangled in the thin sheet, Sapphire locked the windows and front door.
“Just letting you know, Jesse will be in my office for his shift.”
“I’ll be sure to be extra quiet when I sneak out then,” I pouted.
“You’ll get past this, Teagan. You will. Goodnight.”
I huffed and rolled toward the wall, my chest tight and contracted so when I breathed the spaces between my ribs ached. If I was a crier, tonight I might have cried myself to sleep. Never in all my suppressed frustration had I felt so hopelessly angry. Something was happening. Like a link to the chain of what made me who I was, was desperately trying to lock with the missing piece it was so near finding. And yet, no one was there to help. No one was listening, and I truly believed no one ever would.
Chapter 11
Mitch treated me much the same, but Graham had topped a high-horse or something and hardly said a word. He was polite enough, but undeniably agitated over my relapse. I stretched my neck finding a place on the bus. The cot was anything but comfortable, and Sapphire seemed more upset about making me sleep there this morning. Sapphire had told me one of my chores was firewood duty for the woodburning stove. Firewood duty meant going into the forest. It meant breathing in the air, the trees, the sounds that seemed to be calling to me more and more. I suspected Sapphire assigned me the task because he knew of my love for nature.
I knew it sounded insane—nature calling to me—but Wyvern Willows had a magic about it. Not the hocus pocus kind, but it had a way of causing me to feel trapped and free in the same thought. When Monday came, the tattoos on my arms had deepened to a rich greenish hue, and if I were being honest, the designs were starting to grow on me. I almost defied the dress code at school and wore short sleeves, but Sapphire was quick to stop me on the way out the door. Of course, when I sat in the back of Mrs. Tiddel’s class, I rolled up my sleeves, just a bit, before the bell rang.
My stomach sank when Dash walked into the class without Jade and Raffi. Now, both of them were cutting? Ms. Drake really didn’t want her precious girl hanging around me. I hadn’t even seen her anywhere in the halls. Wyvern High wasn’t so huge that people could disappear in the crowds. Dash sat next to me—in Jade’s seat—and I eyed him suspiciously.
Dash looked older than a senior. He had almond-shaped eyes, and his dark hair was pulled back behind his neck in a short ponytail, but Dash pulled it off. Raffi was the muscle of the group by far, but Dash wasn’t anyone I would seek to go against in a fight. And again, I wasn’t small. Dash said nothing, simply nodded, scanning the tattoos peeking from beneath my sleeve. I in turn noticed for the first time Dash had several faint scars along his hands and a pink line on the edge of his jaw. Though I wouldn’t ask, it drew a new curiosity to Dash’s story.
“Jade won’t be coming anymor
e,” he muttered without looking at me.
I scoffed, copying what Tiddel was writing on the white board about an upcoming book report. “Yeah, I was informed.”
“I shouldn’t even be asking, but what’s the story with you? What took you away from here?” Dash grumbled.
I eyed Dash with a raised brow. “I’m not from here,” I said. “I’ve never been here in my life.”
Dash narrowed his gaze as though I was putting him on and spoke with sarcasm. “Right. Look I get it, it’s a lot of work concealing identities, but I’m not an imbecile.”
“Imbecile? Who says imbecile anymore? You really want to know something,” I began. Nights of poor sleep through the weekend, the lack of Jade, and the mystic way everyone spoke with me boiled to the surface. “Everyone talks to me like I know something. This place is a nightmare. I don’t know what you’re talking about concealing identities. I don’t know why Ms. Drake is threatened enough to pull Jade from a class with me. I don’t know anything, so just back off.”
Dash paused and studied me, seemingly oblivious that Mrs. Tiddel was completely involved in her lesson by now. Dash hadn’t glanced to the front of the room once since coming to class, yet school work never seemed to be a stress for either Raffi or Dash. “Alright, I’ll go with that,” he finally said. “Look, just forget about, Jade. There’s a lot of family stuff going on and Jade needs to take it seriously. She doesn’t need to be dragged into all this.”
I closed my eyes, my pencil pressing so hard into the desk the lead snapped. “That’s what I’m talking about. Dragged into what?”
“Boys? Can I help you with something?” Tiddel asked. I was actually surprised. All last week Mrs. Tiddel had completely ignored all my conversations with Jade, now she decided to start listening. Whatever.
“Sorry, Mrs. Tiddel,” Dash said sweetly, flashing her a bright smile which drew a grin on the teacher’s face. All seemed to be forgiven. I rolled my shoulders away from Dash desperately trying to let him know we were done talking. Dash took the hint.