The Peabrain's Idea (The Peabrain Adventures Book 1)

by Martha Carr

  “Fair enough, I’ve been warned.”

  Diana shut the door and saluted from the sidewalk, turning to amble up her front walk. Maggie waited till she saw her go inside and the lights went on in a few of the rooms.

  “What’s wrong with a homemade brownie?”

  “Nothing, unless Toni Parker made it. Mom likes to enhance her baked goods with something to make you forget Mercury is in retrograde or Aries is floating over Virgo or men are from Mars. Here’s another of our rules. Call it a Parker rule number two and a half. Don’t eat anything Mom has been anywhere near unless you have an afternoon to devote to doing nothing but eating Doritos.”

  Bernie shrugged, considering it. “I love Doritos.”

  Maggie pulled away from the curb, ignoring him and barely hit the gas, gliding down the street till she was in front of her house, pulling into the driveway. She got out of the car, her body aching all over from the past couple of days, barely listening to Bernie talking about how to fix an M-34 engine that powers part of the Amazon to keep it nice and moist all the time.

  A loud boom erupted from the backyard followed by a chorus of loud cackling and the chickens squawking.

  “I didn’t realize chickens could get to be so loud. Do they party when you’re not at home?” Bernie wandered up the driveway, curious to see more.

  “Wrong on both counts. That’s not my chickens.” Maggie took off at a sprint for the gate on the side of the house. She stopped halfway there with Bernie right behind her. They both tilted their heads back in time to watch large, translucent bubbles float high in the air, a dark-feathered chicken floating inside each one of them.

  “Rhode Island Reds. Those are not my chickens.” Maggie watched, hypnotized by the floating chickens until one of the bubbles popped and the chicken flapped its wings in mid-air, not catching flight and plummeted back to the ground, dropping below their line of sight. A loud chorus of deep-throated cackles erupted again. The spell was broken, and Maggie started running again, throwing open the gate and charging inside.

  Twenty Huldu gnomes were standing in a circle taking turns blowing bubbles, turning themselves into chickens and floating into the air.

  Bernie caught up with her, standing there with his mouth wide open. “This is interesting.”

  The circle of gnomes spotted Bernie and a cheer went up. “Bernie!”

  Bernie smiled and waved. “Hey fellas, what’s with the party? I don’t remember an invitation.”

  Maggie elbowed him hard in the ribs, getting an ‘oof’. She watched, eyes wide as another gnome turned himself into a three-toed sloth and attempted to juggle some of his friends, very slowly. Her chickens were running up and down in their yard, flapping their wings in distress. “I will not be getting eggs out of them anytime soon. Did you do this?”

  “Kind of, but not really.”

  “Again with the riddles.”

  “I put out a call for help after lunch. You got me all fired up to bring out the cavalry, but this…” He pointed at the gnome circus that was taking place in Maggie’s backyard. “This is not my doing. I was very specific that we needed serious help and not entertainment.”

  Two gnomes faced each other, grinning, their eyes half shut as they blew bubbles at each other till they were completely covered. The bubbles glowed pink, sliding off to reveal oversized pink rabbits.

  Bernie slapped the back of his neck, trying not to smile, glancing over at Maggie. “Oh, that’s a good one,” he said. “Wrong time of year, but still, very impressive.”

  Bernie let out a snicker that built into a laugh and finally, he was bent over bellowing with laughter.

  Maggie looked at him frustrated. She smelled the air. “Is it something you’re breathing in? Is this a gnome fever?”

  A gnome popped back into his usual state and made a beeline for the back steps. Maggie followed him, determined to stop him from going in the house.

  “For the love of…” she shouted. There on the back steps was an almost empty plate of brownies. She recognized the pale blue Fiesta ware plate immediately. Her mother had left the plate sitting on the back porch. The note was still propped up nearby.

  Maggie took the brownie and the plate from the gnome, pulling it out of his reach when he tried again. “No, no more brownies.”

  “You sound like you’re talking to a four-year-old. Oh geez, hang on, I have to catch my breath.” Bernie was still leaning over, his hands on his knees, wheezing with laughter.

  Maggie shook her head, trying not to let a familiar resentment creep over her. The only one paying attention to what needed to get done. “Worst imitation of Barnum and Bailey I’ve ever seen. Thousand-year-old hippies. How long is this going to last?”

  “Leo, enough with the Manilow already.” The chorus of Copacabana could be heard among the treetops. Bernie stood up straight and wiped his face. “Not long, gnomes have amazing constitutions. Give it an hour and they’ll start to come down again. They’ll probably pull a few more stunts before that happens. How about we just sit on the back steps right here under the moonlight and enjoy the show.”

  He patted the seat next to him. “Come on, when are you going to get the chance to see Huldus turn themselves into small farm animals that float ever again? I bet we can yell out suggestions and they’d do it. Huh? Yeah?”

  Maggie took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, still holding the plate. Look at the world from a different angle. She sat down next to Bernie, resting the plate in her lap and watched the Huldus build a gnome pyramid, taking turns tumbling off the top.

  “Do that glowing bird formation you did for Jack’s anniversary! Where is Jack, anyway? He’s missing all the fun.” Bernie peered through the darkness trying to spot his friend.

  Some of the gnomes immediately began forming bubbles in their hands, swirling their arms overhead in a continuous circle, raining the bubbles down on their heads. They quickly turned into large, iridescent blackbirds, glowing in the dark and took to the air, flying in a V formation.

  “Grackles! Are grackles really gnomes?” Maggie jostled the plate, leaning forward.

  “No,” laughed Bernie. “Grackles are grackles, well, and messengers.” He waved his hand. “Never mind, forget I mentioned that. Story for another day. Oh look, they’re making the Olympic rings. Now, that is nice. Go ahead, you call out something.”

  Maggie thought about it, trying to come up with something. “I can’t think of anything.”

  “Come on, there must be one thing. Think of it more like a magic trick. Hurry up, this stuff is going to wear off at some point and then they’ll be all business. I’m the fun one of the bunch, if that gives you any clues.”

  “Float in the air! I want to float in the air!” Maggie blurted it out. It was the first thing that came to her.

  “No, I meant that they could do. Okay, never mind, this should be good.”

  The Huldus smiled, scrambling toward Maggie and taking the plate from her, one or two trying to get the last of the brownies but Bernie snatched the plate away and held it in his lap. “Maybe that’s enough for tonight. Your Mercury is doing just fine.”

  They put Maggie into the center of their circle and began blowing dark blue bubbles out of their mouths. Inside of each one were different constellations. The gnomes stretched out their arms to the side, and beat the air, faster and faster till it was difficult to see their arms at all. The bubbles floated toward Maggie, surrounding her at first, pushing at her feet and lifting her up into the sky.

  She could still hear Bernie’s voice below as she floated up to the roof line. When she looked down, she could see that she was floating on top of bubbles that made it look like the night sky filled with stars was just below her.

  Her entire body relaxed, bobbing along and she lay back, rolling over so she could look down into the magical night sky. Slowly the bubbles brought her back to the ground and as her feet touched, began to gently pop one at a time. She watched each one, marveling at the sight.

 
But there in a corner of the artificial night sky was a bubble with a familiar arrangement of four stars in what looked like a random pattern.

  ‘Pop!’

  It was gone before she could say anything. She shook her head. “Look at the world from a completely new view,” she said, “and tomorrow we figure this out… together.”

  A Huldu wandered over, weaving a little as he got to Maggie. “You have any Doritos?”

  27

  The morning was dragging on for Simon without any relief. He sat behind his desk in the forensics lab and squeezed the compass in his hand, raising it over his head. He was tempted to throw it against the floor, but that would prove nothing and maybe cost him everything.

  “Raaaaarggghhhh!” He let out the frustrated scream, shaking the compass and was even disappointed when he noticed that shaking it didn’t move the five needles. Nothing was working. He had dreamed of holding this compass from the first moment he read about it. Pictured what it would be like, and when it was finally in his hands, he had rejoiced for days.

  Reality was an entirely different experience.

  He rested his arms on the spectrometer and put his head down. “Think, think.”

  “You okay?”

  He stood up and whipped around, the compass still in his hand as the color drained from his face. A young detective he didn’t recognize was standing in the doorway.

  No one ever came to his lab. Most people called first, trying to manage his prickly personality that he carefully cultivated. He glared at the young detective whose eyes widened in surprise at the chilly reception.

  “I knocked, you didn’t hear me. I was checking on that analysis for the drugs we found yesterday. You okay?” He pointed at Simon’s hand. “That’s a nice pocket watch. Looks really old. Your dad give that to you?”

  Simon ignored the questions. “Your report is not ready yet. Good science takes time.” He slid the compass into his lab coat pocket and picked up a flyer off his desk, waving it at the detective. “Here, take this. It’s a general outline of how things go on down here. It’ll save you a trip next time.”

  The detective wrinkled his forehead but came and took the flyer out of Simon’s hand anyway. “Yeah, sure, didn’t mean to bother you. If I could get that sometime today that would be helpful.”

  Simon didn’t answer him, instead he watched him give up and walk back toward the door. “Nothing? Okay.” The detective shook his head, muttering, “They did not exaggerate about you, buddy.”

  “Please shut the door on your way out.” Simon waited a moment before rubbing his face with his hands. He pulled out the old diary and opened it again to the place he had bookmarked. “There’s only one solution. I have to bring her to me and convince Maggie Parker to help me. Surely, one Peabrain to another she will understand. She will do the right thing. I have to arrange a meeting.”

  He gently closed the old diary and scooped it up, standing up from his desk and grabbing his satchel. There was no time to waste.

  Simon would convince Maggie to stand with her own kind, stand with the Peabrains and use the compass to further the cause and send the Earth back to where it all began. “Send us home,” he muttered.

  Simon barreled into the squad room, his lab coat flapping open, the satchel slung across his shoulder. “Where’s Detective Parker? I need to speak with her.”

  Moss looked up from his computer, startled for a moment at the sight of the forensics specialist out of his natural habitat. “Uh, Parker and Taylor aren’t in right now. They’re out on a case. Is there something I can help you with? You know, you could use the phone and just call Parker.” Moss said it slowly like Simon was a deer who could be startled at any moment by sudden movement.

  “Did they say when they expected to return?” Simon stood by Maggie’s desk, looking in every direction like he still expected her to suddenly appear. Moss looked around with him, half expecting to see something himself.

  “No, they generally don’t. You can never tell how long it’ll take on an interview. Try calling her.” Moss picked up the desk phone and started to dial.

  Simon gave a sharp rebuke. “No!” He caught himself when he saw the look of surprise and annoyance on Moss’ face as he put the receiver back down in its cradle. Several other detectives around them smiled, waiting to see what would happen next.

  That only made things worse.

  Simon wasn’t used to kidding around with anyone and he didn’t know how to take it. His eyes flashed darker for a moment, making Moss stand up slowly and walk closer to get a better look. “What the…”

  “I mean, I’d prefer to talk to her in person. It’s more of a personal nature,” said Simon, looking down at his brown Florsheim’s before making himself look Moss in the eye. He felt the flashes when they occurred and knew he was losing small bits of time, but he couldn’t explain what was happening to him. Too much stress, probably.

  Moss knit his eyebrows together and looked over at Gonzales sitting nearby. “A personal nature, you don’t say? Well, you want to leave a note? Is email out of the question?”

  Simon bristled, unsure if Moss was trying to be helpful or was making him the butt of a joke. He slipped his hand into his pocket and felt the metal of the compass. “Never mind, I’ll catch up with her later.” He turned on his heel and walked out, not wanting to get any more questions. Behind him he could hear someone muttering, “I think that’s the first time I’ve seen him in here.”

  “No, he comes up about once a year,” said Moss. “I guess this means a few more weeks of winter.”

  Simon felt a rush of anger go through him. He was trying to save them all from a fate they didn’t even see coming. “Ungrateful, every last one of them.” He shook it off. “I don’t have to be liked in order to be right. I’ll find a way to get Maggie Parker to listen to me and then, I’ll be the hero.” His pupils filled in again, turning dark and his fingertips went numb, but the moment passed as quickly as it came, leaving him with a single clear thought.

  “Maybe it’s time to try a little dark magic again. Nothing else has worked.” He headed back to the quiet of his lab, his excitement returning. Surely willingness and good intentions would make up for so many other things. “I need to take this to the next level. No going back.”

  28

  Maggie got back into the blue El Camino with Taylor right behind her. The shoe store on Lamar Avenue was missing the night’s receipts along with a dozen pairs of fly Union LA Air Jordan sneakers. Taylor glanced in the back seat at Bernie licking his fingers after eating a Whataburger taquito with cheese and extra sauce.

  “If magic is real, how come you can’t just make food appear with your bubbly thing?”

  “It never tastes quite right. Kind of like the gluten free option. You want to like it, you know you should like it but…” Bernie stuck out his tongue. “Oh, hey missed a little.”

  Taylor shook his head, shutting one eye and wincing as Bernie licked the front of his yellow sweater. “Is that thing clean?”

  “It’s cleaner now.” Bernie took another swipe at it with his tongue. “See, there, got out that last bit. Hey, it’s Tuesday, I washed my hands.”

  Maggie pulled out into traffic, heading for the highway, grateful the traffic was still light.

  Taylor looked at Maggie. “What does he mean, it’s Tuesday?”

  “Don’t ask. You’ll have to live with the knowledge forever if you do. Did you notice that store manager was more upset about those Air Jordan’s? I wonder how much those things go for. It’s gotta be a couple hundred bucks, easy.”

  “Thinking of adding to your collection?”

  Maggie looked down at her white Veja sneakers with a red stripe. They were one of her few indulgences. “I’m good, but it means whoever stole their money knows enough about shoes to know what to take. They took enough to sell, not to just wear.”

  “You have that look in your eye. You thinking of where we might be able to find the sneakers?”

  “The
re are a few shady open-air markets around here that sell merchandise for prices that make me wonder what truck the merchandise fell from.”

  “This is fascinating stuff, really is guys, and I appreciate that you’re conscious of the taxpayer’s dollar, but can we get back to the bigger picture?” Bernie was leaning between the seats, his arms resting on the backs.

  “What is he talking about, Parker? What are you talking about, what is it, Ernie?”

  “Funny, making up the wrong name for me. It’s Bernie, Mr. Detective. Didn’t your partner tell you anything about our quest?”

  “Not now, Bernie.” Maggie kept her eye on the road, while still reaching back, planting her hand firmly in the center of Bernie’s chest and pushing him into the back seat.

  Taylor let out a snort, popping a piece of gum into his mouth.

  “I’ll take one of those.” Bernie’s large hand came over the seat, hanging right by Taylor’s head till he put a piece of gum in Bernie’s palm.

  “Thank you. Mmmm, peppermint. Like I was saying… Don’t bother interrupting Peabrain, I’m gonna keep talking either way. We need allies to get this one done, and he already knows about magic. Rule two is out the window with him.”

  Maggie pressed her lips together trying to think of a reasonable excuse that could get Bernie to stop talking. Nothing was coming to mind.

  “Yeah, we’re on a quest.” Bernie rested back in his seat. “We have to find a compass, a particular special compass that kind of helps keep the world running smoothly.”

  Maggie looked in the rear-view mirror and saw Bernie give her a wink. She rolled her eyes wondering what was coming next.

  “Is he for real? Doesn’t the Earth just take care of itself?” Taylor shook his head, looking back at Bernie. “That’s a big leap to go from you being a mouse to an entire world run on a compass.”