by ID Johnson
She turned around to see Mist putting the book back in a hollow space in the wall behind a baseboard. The wood slid back into place, then Mist walked toward her, her hands in front of her as she nervously intertwined her fingers and then pulled them apart. “You can’t tell anyone about this, Rain. Even if you don’t believe it, you can’t tell.”
“I won’t,” Rain assured her, looking Mist in the eye.
“If you do, I’ll be in more trouble than you can fathom. They’ll likely take me to the Bridge.”
Drawing in a deep breath, Rain repeated herself. “I said I won’t, Mist. I know. I won’t say anything.”
Mist nodded once, still looking unconvinced. “Just remember, you have secrets, too.”
“Mist, there’s no reason for you to threaten me. I have no reason to tell anyone about it, okay? Besides, apparently you trust Sunny more than you do me.”
“I do trust Sunny more than I trust you,” Mist admitted. Rain felt heat rise in her cheeks at the admission. “Sunny and I have similar viewpoints on the Motherhood, Rain. You don’t share them. At least, you haven’t. I hoped that talking to that man today would help you, but I’m still not sure.”
“Well… it didn’t change my mind about anything,” Rain insisted, stomping away from her so-called friend, back toward her bed. She threw herself down on the edge of it. “He didn’t have anything to say that would make me feel sorry for any of them.”
A brow arched over one of Mist’s eyes. “Really? You still don’t feel like the way we’ve been treating them, using them solely for breeding and nothing more, is wrong?”
Throbbing began in her temples and pulsated out across her forehead, wrapping around to the back of her head as Rain tried to process everything she’d heard in the last few minutes. “I don’t know,” she said, tossing herself backward onto the pillow. “I don’t know, Mist.”
“Well, you need to think about it. I already told you my plans, Rain, and we could use you.”
Rain looked her friend in the eye for a second before she began to shake her head. “Forget it. There’s no way in hell I’m going with you.”
“Not even if we take 24C with us?” Mist asked, prodding a nerve.
Inhaling through her nose, Rain shook her head, but the idea of fleeing in the night with Mist, Adam, and a dozen or so others didn’t sound as scary if Adam was there. Thinking of him experiencing weather for the first time, standing in the rain, or how he would look with the sunlight glinting off his hair, made her question her own convictions for a moment.
Mist saw it, too. “I’m going to go get something to eat,” she said, taking a few steps toward the door. “Just think about it, Rain. If you care about him at all, you’ll do what you can to help 24C.”
Her hand was on the doorknob when Rain’s mouth fell open, and his name slipped out. “Adam.”
“What’s that?” Mist asked, turning back to face her.
Focusing up at the ceiling, Rain said, “He wants to be called Adam.”
She heard Mist make the small sound she did when she smiled. “That’s a nice name, Rain.”
“Yeah.” She didn’t say more, and Mist left the room, leaving Rain to ponder a million questions that had no answers.
Chapter Twenty-One
Rain sat on a couch in the lounge area at the end of the hall where her room was located, staring out the window at her namesake. The water droplets were large and splashed against the glass with loud plopping noises that, compared to the gentle pitter-patters she was used to, sounded evil and foreboding.
It had been almost a week since the incident in IW. Since that time, Rain hadn’t heard much about what actually happened that afternoon, but from Mist and Sunny, she’d found out that this had been a test to see if it was possible to release the men in IW and still have control over the locking mechanisms on the door, as well as an ability to block the cameras in the entire building. Exactly what they’d learned, Sunny said she didn’t know, but it made Rain feel unsettled in a way she couldn’t quite describe.
The blood she’d seen had come from a couple of Medical students who’d been helping with the infiltration, according to Sunny’s connections. There had also been a Mother that was wounded, a member of the Military. Cloud had mentioned something about that to her one day after labs when they were walking home. She said one of the older women who lived in her building had told her about it. The entire situation was terrifying to Rain in a way she couldn’t put words to. It was like she knew something life-altering was on the horizon, but she couldn’t determine whether or not she should be a part of it. That look Mother White had given her, as if she was already suspicious that Rain was involved, made her stomach tighten and her skin grow cold. Thankfully, she hadn’t seen her since that day.
She hadn’t seen Adam since then either. Even though she’d had to visit IW a few times, she’d purposely picked other men. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see him; she did. But… the intimate moments she’d spent with him were different than any time she’d spent with anyone else. The fact that they’d seen each other’s faces, that she’d seen him completely nude in the light, it all made the idea of going through the steps of an IW visit impossible to fathom.
Thinking about that book cover, what Mist had told her the book contained, brought images to her mind. Sometimes, at night, she’d dream about the scenes Mist had told her about. Later, after her initial revelation about finding the book, Mist had gone into great detail, and those details wove their way into vibrant dreams that had Adam on top of Rain, his hands loose and everywhere, his mouth meeting hers. The idea of that being reality was both electrifying and frightening at the same time.
The entire situation made her brain hurt. Part of her wanted to go back to the way things were before, when she was ignorant and blissful. What was so wrong with women dictating men’s lives? With women deciding who lived and died based on high standards? She didn’t have to think long to come up with all of the answers an intelligent person would need in order to see the horrific way the Motherhood was treating all men and anyone, male or female, who didn’t meet their rigid standards of perfection. Her mind went back to her time in the lab with the fetuses. How would she feel taking that tiny being over the Bridge? The Mothers may say that the Bridge was just part of a journey to a better place, but everyone over the age of eight had figured out the truth. The Bridge meant death.
All around her, Rain saw signs of the planned rebellion, when she cared to pay attention to them, when she met the eyes of those she had figured out were involved. It was coming--sooner rather than later. Exactly what the details were, she had no idea. Mist knew plenty more than she did and would be willing to tell her the information if Rain asked, but she hadn’t done so yet. Her friend had prodded her a few times, wondering if she wanted an update. Rain had always said no.
Now, looking at the rain splatter against the window and recalling how Adam had said he longed to feel it on his skin, she wondered what was worse--continuing to live in a world where men were treated worse than animals or taking a chance at a new life, one where regardless of sex, people had freedom and choices. The more she pondered Adam’s limited possibilities, the more she realized her freedom wasn’t real either--it was a mirage. Sure, she had a lot more choices than the men did, but at the end of the day, wasn’t her reality dictated by the Mothers almost as much as his was?
The ground was muddy, patches of brown sticking through the grass, streams of water pouring off the leaves on the oak and maple trees that dotted the yard. If it was much colder, it might’ve been ice, but it didn’t snow or sleet much this far south. This land, an area she’d learned used to be called Texas, was even warmer now than it had been back before women threw off men, though they’d done as much as they could to reverse the effects of global warming. She wondered how cold it might get if they ran north toward the freedom Mist was certain was there if they went far enough.
Rain recognized the cadence of Mist’s footsteps approac
hing without turning her head away from the scene in front of her. Her friend came to the armrest next to her but didn’t sit. After a long moment of patience on Mist’s part, Rain turned her head, a question in her eyes. “Are you all right?”
Slowly, Rain nodded, both of them knowing that wasn’t true.
Despite there being no one else in the room, Mist kept her voice down. “When do you go to IW next?”
She cleared her throat, wondering why Mist was asking. Her roommate knew her schedule as well as Rain did. “Tomorrow.”
“Good. We need you to deliver a message.”
Rain turned her body toward her friend, her eyebrows knit together. “Me? Why me?”
“Because Sunny’s friend will be in the Communications room tomorrow during your regularly scheduled time. She can make sure your camera malfunctions. And we need to get the message to Adam.”
“Why Adam?” A million questions circled in her mind as Rain felt her pulse increase and sweat bead her forehead. How involved was he at this point?
Mist answered her unasked question. “He’s agreed to lead the rebellion from the inside.”
“What?” Rain couldn’t believe her ears. Her eyes widened as she considered what that might mean. “Agreed to who?”
“I can’t explain all of it,” Mist said, looking back toward the entryway. There were footsteps and laughter coming from the nearby stairwell, but it didn’t seem like anyone was coming into the lounge. “I just need you to pass off some information to him. He said… he said he wouldn’t trust anyone to give him this sort of critical information except for you.”
Inhaling sharply, Rain held her breath for a moment and then slowly let it out. After the conversation she’d had with him, that made little sense. Surely, he understood how torn she was about joining the rebellion. Had she somehow given him the impression that she was considering it?
“Listen, Rain, you don’t have to come with us if you don’t want to, but you do have to be the one to deliver the message, and it’s not even something the Mothers will understand if they do hear you say it, especially if you moan it.”
“Moan it?” Rain was horrified. “I don’t… moan in IW.”
Mist shrugged, ignoring the face Rain was making at her. “Well, you should. Rain, will you pass along the message or not? I need to know because if you won’t, we’ll have to find some other way to let him know, and that could be dangerous for both parties.”
The idea of putting Adam in further danger made her stomach tangle in knots. But then, so did the possibility of picking him for IW. Maybe she could fake it…. “Fine. I’ll do it.”
A smile broke out over Mist’s face, and she gave a confident nod. “Great. That will save us all a lot of trouble.”
“What’s the message?”
Mist came around the armrest and got close to her ear, but not too close so that if anyone was watching, it wouldn’t look like they were sharing secrets. “Beta forty-eight.”
Rain started to repeat it but then didn’t, thinking she shouldn’t say it out loud. “What the hell does that mean?”
Taking a step back, Mist shrugged. “I don’t know. But then, I don’t have to know, as long as he does.”
“And you think I can moan that?” Rain shook her head.
“I could. But it won’t matter. Your camera won’t be working, which means no sound will be recorded either. It’ll be fine. Just tell him.”
Rain watched Mist turn around and walk out of the room before she returned her gaze out the window. How her friend could say it would be fine was beyond her. From Rain’s perspective, it would never be fine again. She did her best to let the raindrops carry her thoughts away as she tried not to think about the future, but it was nearly impossible, and as the rain picked up she realized she no longer needed to make a decision about whether or not she was a part of this. Mist and Adam had already made that decision for her.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Listening to lectures was no way to keep Rain’s mind off of what she was about to do that afternoon, once class was over for the day. While she was doing her best to pay attention to Mother Lavender’s lesson, her mind kept drifting, not just to her upcoming visit to IW, but to what would happen later, as a result of her handing off the information to Adam. Rain didn’t even know what the coded message meant or when this plan was to be put into effect, but she had a feeling nothing she learned in her classes that day was going to matter anymore, once the rebellion was underway, not if it was successful, and especially not if she went with them. Either she’d be dead soon, or she’d be launched into a life she couldn’t even imagine.
What would it be like to flee the only home she’d ever known? What would they find outside of the city limits? Could they make it out of Michaelanburg on foot? How far would they have to go to reach safety? What if the other country Mist had alluded to wouldn’t take them? What would they eat? Sure, they could carry enough hydration pills with them to last months, if not years, but food would be different. They didn’t have a pill to help with that.
“Rain?” Mother Lavender said her name as if it wasn’t the first time. “Would you care to answer the question?”
Snickers from the back of the class let her know some of the other students found her lack of focus amusing. Rain glanced at the screen at the front of the room and saw a simple computation using a formula they’d reviewed before. In a few seconds, she was able to say, “The volume equals 6.32, Mother Lavender.”
The Mother’s pursed lips let Rain know she didn’t want to look as if she were impressed. “Very good.” She moved on to terrorize someone else, and Rain attempted to stay tuned in, but her mind drifted off again as she imagined herself running hand in hand with Adam through the woods, laughing and frolicking like small children.
When class was over, she gathered her belongings slowly, still dreading her trip to IW. She hadn’t allowed herself to think about what it would be like to climb atop him now that she’d spoken to him, now that he had a face and a name. It was too embarrassing to consider. He’d all but told her he didn’t like his job, though he’d seemed to mind her less than many of the other women. She suddenly felt as guilty as those men in history who used to take a woman’s virtue without her permission. Is that how all of the Inseminators felt? Were all of the women really rapists?
“Hey, Rain.” Cloud came up next to her. Rain turned to face her friend, finding a small smile. “How are you?”
“I'm fine. How are you?”
Something about Cloud’s expression let her know that she was aware of what was about to happen that afternoon, or at least had an idea. “I’m good. Are you nervous?” Her voice was low, not that anyone was paying them any attention anyway.
Rain nodded. “Who told you?”
“I’m in it, too,” Cloud explained in a whisper. “So are a few others in our class.”
Assuming she meant their medical class, Rain nodded, though she was surprised. “Does everyone know what I’m going to do?”
“No, only a few people know. But my roommate is in Communications. She’s the hinge.”
Again, Rain’s head rocked back and forth. She assumed that meant her roommate was the one who would disrupt the video feed so the information could be handed off. “Is she nervous?”
“No, Lightning doesn’t get nervous,” Cloud explained, pushing into the classroom. Rain followed. “She’s angry.”
“Why is that?” Rain wanted to know, not that she blamed her.
Leaning in close to her ear, Cloud whispered, “She’s fallen in love with one of the IWs, and she wants him set free.”
Rain’s stomach fluttered. “Love? Is that even possible?” she asked, but she didn’t really need to ask the question. She already knew the answer. Not that she was in love with Adam; she didn’t even know him. But she could see that it was possible.
Cloud’s smile was genuine. “Sure. Why wouldn’t it be? She sees them, you know? When they’re not working. They’re always on came
ra. She feels like she knows him.”
Swallowing hard, Rain considered what that must be like. “Well, I hope she’s successful. Because if she’s not, we’ll both be in big trouble.”
“You’ll both be dead,” Cloud corrected. Rain’s eyes widened, and Cloud shrugged. “Fact of life. But don't worry. Lightning won’t fail.”
Rain hoped she was right and took her seat, praying that Lightning knew what she was doing. As much as she didn’t want to spend her afternoon on top of Adam, it was preferable to spending it finding out exactly what was on the other side of the Bridge.
After class, Rain made the walk over to IW by herself. Cloud had headed off to join some of the other rebels who were awaiting word that the mission was complete. The amount of pressure weighing down on Rain’s shoulders was akin to a single woman trying to lift a boulder up over her head, and she couldn’t imagine holding it up for much longer.
Methodically, she went about her normal routine. Her fingers hesitated over 24C. All day, she’d wondered what she was supposed to do if he was already selected--but he wasn’t--so that was no longer a fear. Still, she was tempted to forget, to accidentally pick someone else. Picturing Mist’s earnest expression in her mind, she pressed the button that called Adam to the ready and further prepared herself.
Once in the room, she slid her backpack into the locker and took deep breaths, her feet cold on the tile, even with socks. Glancing up at the camera in the corner, she saw the red light, letting her know it was working. At least, she assumed the fact that the light was on as normal was a sign that Lightning hadn’t worked her magic yet. Perhaps Lightning would have a way of making it seem like nothing was amiss when she interrupted the recording, and the light would stay on. Realizing she probably shouldn’t be staring at the camera, something she wouldn’t normally do, Rain pulled her eyes away, and waited for Adam to come through the wall, focusing on breathing.