“Not in your condition.”
“I mean after the baby is born. I’ve got enough money left to last me for a few weeks if I’m careful.”
“By starving yourself. A lactating mother will need plenty of nourishment.”
“I know. Don’t worry, I won’t be jeopardizing my baby. I’d do anything to protect it. Thank you, I think I will have a lie down. I feel so weary. If I fall asleep, don’t wake me up for supper. I’ve had the pancake.”
“You can have the bed for the night. I’ll sleep in my bedroll on the floor.”
She gnawed her lower lip. “We could share, I suppose.”
“No, I don’t mind sleeping on the floor. I’ve slept in worse places.” A bitter mask came down over his face, stilling the question hovering on her lips.
She levered herself out of the chair and shuffled over to the bed, suddenly feeling so drained she could barely drag one foot after the other.
“Take your dress off,” he said. “It will be much more comfortable for you. I won’t peek.”
“The way I feel at the moment, I wouldn’t care if you did.”
The dress did press against her stomach, making it tender. “I’ve got a nightgown in one of the saddlebags.”
“It would be more comfortable for you.”
After staring at her for a moment, he stood, stepped over to the saddlebags, and brought them over.
“Thank you.”
He returned to the table and sat in the chair she had vacated so his back was turned. As quickly as she could, she changed into the nightgown, pushed her clothes to the far side of the bed, and lay down, pulling the blankets over her.
Tyler was right; it was impossible to stay up here. She needed to be in town where there was a doctor or midwife close by. What would he look like with his hair cut and the long beard shaved off? A pity she would never know. Why should she care what he looked like if he tidied himself up?
Chapter Eight
Ruth woke up and the pains in her stomach and back were so bad she groaned. It was pitch black in the house and silent as the grave. Never had she seen such blackness. A pain, sharp and deep, suddenly shot through her stomach, quickly followed by another and another. She tried in vain to stop screams of agony erupting from her throat.
Tyler swore loudly but she didn’t care.
“What’s going on?” A lamp flared, lighting up the darkness and throwing shadows on the walls. Wearing only his drawers, he dashed over to her.
She was screaming now from pain and fear, and no power on earth could make her stop. “I think the baby is coming.”
“I think so, too.” He rested his palm on her stomach and moved it around. “The head is in position. You’re not far off giving birth.”
“No…no! I’ll die out here. And the baby too.”
“Take deep breaths and try to relax.”
Ruth gritted her teeth as another agonizing spasm of pain ripped through her.
“Can you stand up?”
“No.”
“I’ll help you,” he said.
“No, no. I’m not dressed.”
“This is no time to worry about modesty. I need to put something waterproof over the mattress.”
“But…”
He reached over and pulled her into a sitting position. “Try to swing your feet on to the floor.”
Struggling to her feet, she stood holding her stomach. Suddenly, she felt a surge of liquid between her thighs. Mortified, she realized she had wet herself. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. You couldn’t help it. Your water has broken. The birth shouldn’t be too long now.”
She grasped her stomach and screamed.
“I’ve got a piece of oilskin to cover the mattress with.”
“Please, Tyler, I need a doctor. I’ll die without one and my baby too. Please go for help.”
“And leave you alone?”
“I’ll be all right here. I need a midwife or a doctor.”
“You’ve got a doctor.” He laid the oilskin over the mattress then put a blanket over it.
“Who?” she shouted. “I can’t see anyone.”
“Me.”
“You?”
“Yes. I haven’t done much doctoring in years. In my early days of medicine, I did do a little training in obstetrics.”
She cried out as he helped her back into bed.
“It’s too low.” She heard him mutter the words through a mist of pain and fear.
“You really are a doctor?”
“Yes. I was a surgeon once. Try to rest. I’ll get dressed and prepare a few things.”
Ruth closed her eyes, but the pain was unrelenting, making her feel as if she was being torn apart. The room was in shadow. Suddenly, the lamp in the ceiling flared then the one on the kitchen table. Through pain filled eyes, she watched Tyler putting pots of water on the stove. He then laid a dish, a piece of soap, and a towel on the table.
“Do you have any baby clothes?”
“In the saddlebags. I bought some diapers and a couple of nightgowns and a blanket.”
She screamed as pains ripped through her again.
“Try to rest between the contractions. Conserve your strength.”
She closed her eyes, but the pain was too great for her to do anything except writhe in agony.
Time passed. He sat on the side of the bed, checking her pulse, wiping perspiration from her face with a piece of towel, and feeling her stomach.
“The bed is too low,” he said. “I’ll have to deliver the baby on the table.”
“You can’t. You can’t.”
Taking one of the pillows off the bed, he placed it on the table then returned for her. “The bed is too low. I can’t get in the right position. The light is better in the kitchen, too.”
He picked her up and carried her to the table where he had already laid out a blanket and a towel. “This will be better. Not long now.”
She was past caring what he saw when he pulled up her nightgown. He washed his hands with soap and water from the bowl he had filled with water.
He wiped the sweat from her forehead. “If you feel the urge to push, do it.”
Ruth knew now she was going to die. No mortal could endure such pain and live.
As the wind howled and the rain beat against the windows, the baby finally came into the world.
“You’ve got a daughter,” he said.
“Is she all right?”
“Yes, appears to be.
Tears of relief filled her eyes as the baby cried lustily. It was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard.
The next thing Ruth knew, she was back in bed and the pain had gone. Frantically, she looked around for the baby. “Where’s my baby?”
“I’ve got her by the fire to warm her up. She’s cold. A little premature, I think.” The lamp on the kitchen table still burned. “We don’t need too much light now.”
“Did I faint?” She noticed the kitchen table had been cleaned and Tyler’s shirt sleeves were still rolled up.
“Yes, I think so. Would you like something to eat?”
“No. I am thirsty though.”
“I’ll bring you some water. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to have coffee yet. It’s a wild night out there to be sure.”
He brought over a cup of water and helped her sit up to drink it. “I’ll need to check you over.”
“What?”
“You had a slight hemorrhage and I need to check that it’s stopped.”
“You saw? You did…” She felt her cheeks burn.
“Yes, I did. Don’t worry, I’m a doctor, remember?”
“Yes, but….thank you, Tyler, for everything. I’ll never be able to repay you for what you did for me tonight.”
“What are you going to call the baby?”
“Rebecca.”
“It’s a good biblical name,” he said.
“I’ll call her Becky for short.”
Once she had emptie
d the cup, he placed it on the floor. “Now, I’ll check you over,” he said.
He pulled the blankets aside and lifted her nightgown. She wanted to scream at him to stop. But he was a doctor. Doctors did this kind of thing. His hands were warm as he gently pressed on her stomach before checking her further down.
“Everything seems okay.” He pulled her nightgown back over her legs. “Rest while you can.”
“The baby. I have to see my baby.”
“All right, don’t get upset. I’ll bring her over. Once her body temperature improves a little more, you can have her with you.”
He left her and when he returned, he held the baby in the crook of one arm. She was swaddled in the baby blanket.
“I’ve dressed her as best I could. You can tidy her up in the morning.” He placed the baby in her arms.
Ruth gazed into the little red screwed up face and happy tears filled her eyes. “She’s beautiful.”
The baby was asleep, her little rosebud mouth slightly pursed.
“I’ve boiled water and left it to cool just in case your milk hasn’t come in by the time she wakes for a feed. Give her back to me now. You don’t want her to get cold and you need to rest.”
“All right. Sleep little baby, your mama loves you.”
The strangest expression passed over Tyler’s face.
Reluctantly, she handed the baby back.
“Don’t worry. I’ve made her a little nest at the side of the stove that I’ll keep burning all night. The heat should bring up her temperature.”
“You won’t make us leave here?”
“Not until you’re strong enough. Rest now, there’s a good girl.”
She suddenly felt safe here with Tyler. Her eyes grew heavy and she let herself drift off.
Chapter Nine
When Ruth woke next it was daylight. The wind had ceased howling even though rain still fell. She could hear it splattering against the window. Otherwise, all was silent.
She wanted to relieve herself but knew she would never be able to make it outside.
“Tyler.”
“Yes.” He was sitting at the table.
“I need to relieve myself.”
“I left a bucket by the bed for you. Do you need help?”
Heat surged into her cheeks until she felt as if they had caught fire. “No, thanks.”
“Don’t let modesty stand in the way of accepting help from me. You can’t risk falling.”
“I know, but—”
“—There’s no part of you that I haven’t seen. All right, I’ll turn my back, but only if you promise to call out if you need help. Actually, I’ll step out on to the porch and bring in more wood.”
“Thank you. Is the baby all right?”
“Yes. I’ve still got her near the fire, but she’s warming up nicely. Once you start feeding her, it will help, too.”
He stood. “Try to get out of bed before I leave. Use the bed head for support and don’t let modesty stand in the way of your well-being.”
“Thank you.” She swung her legs out of bed and moved her feet around on the wooden floor. So far so good. Turning slightly, she clutched the bed head and slowly pulled herself upright.
“I cut up a towel for you to, well….” Red tinged what she could see of his cheeks, “you know, and check to see the bleeding isn’t heavy.” He strode out the door, leaving her standing on wobbly legs.
He returned within a short time, his arms loaded with wood. “It’s cold out there.” He pushed the door shut with his foot. “Everything all right?”
“Yes.”
“You had no difficulty emptying your bladder. That’s a good sign.”
“You’re obviously a good doctor.”
His laugh sounded nice. “I was a top surgeon once.”
“You still could be.”
He shook his head. “My hands aren’t steady enough now, even if I had the passion for it, which I don’t. I’ll fry you some eggs for breakfast.”
His change of topic alerted her that he didn’t want to talk about his past. Something dreadful must have happened to him. His wartime experiences had obviously broken him.
“You don’t have tea, I suppose?”
“No. You can have a weak coffee. I’ll bring it over when it’s ready.”
“Thank you.” She didn’t argue with him as her short stint out of bed had exhausted her. “Can I see the baby?”
“Sure. After you’ve eaten, I’ll bring her over. She needs to be fed. I’ll wake her up if I have to. She needs the nourishment of her mother’s milk.”
“What if I don’t have enough?” she asked fearfully. If that were the case, what would happen to Becky?”
“You will. Don’t worry. If worse comes to worse, I’ve got a few tins of milk we can use.”
After Ruth ate the eggs and drank the coffee, she waited impatiently for him to bring the baby over. “Has she been all this time without a drink? Isn’t it too long?”
“She’s had a few drops of boiled water.”
He laid the baby on the bed and unwrapped the blanket. Becky whimpered once her snug cocoon was taken away. She was dressed in one of the two nightgowns Ruth had bought along with a few clothes for herself in the second-hand clothing section of the general store in Harper’s Mount. She dared not spend her precious money on new clothes. She had been able to outfit herself and the baby for a couple of dollars. It was humiliating but she’d had no choice.
“Give her the breast,” Tyler instructed.
“Her eyes aren’t open.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m betting that once she’s on the breast, she will instinctively suckle.”
He turned his back. “If you have any problems just yell out. She probably won’t want much. Once she’s latched on to the nipple, cover her with the blanket. It’s warm in here, but she can’t afford to lose any body heat.”
Ruth did as he instructed. When the baby’s little mouth latched on to her nipple and she started to suck, Ruth breathed a sigh of relief. “She’s drinking.”
“Good. I’ll stay around the house for today to make sure everything is all right. I’ll duck outside and do a couple of essential chores. I run this place on my own, Ruth, so I’ve always got jobs needing to be done.” He gave a deep sigh. “I need to keep an eye on my stock. We get wolves prowling around sometimes. If one of my animals go down, I don’t want it being ripped to pieces by those marauding creatures.”
“I understand. I’m sorry to be causing you such trouble.”
“Change the baby to the other breast now.”
When she eased the baby’s mouth from her nipple, she let out a wail of protest.
“Our little girl has found her voice again,” he said.
The cries were cut off once she put the baby on the other breast. The small amount of hair she did possess was blonde. While the baby suckled, Ruth watched Tyler, who was writing in a book. Accounts for his ranch, most likely.
He was meticulous with everything he did. This place was rough but not primitive. A soddy. The word jumped into her head. That’s what a house made out of lumps of dirt was called. This place was a mixture of log cabin and soddy, she decided.
The one room was quite large, and the space cleverly used. A shelf above the bed held a row of neatly aligned books, which would be easily reached if one wanted to read in bed.
A few cooking utensils dangled from a rail above the stove. Neatly stacked logs rested on the hearth in the space between the stove and the fireplace. They were positioned in such a way that no flying spark could touch them.
With a few deft womanly touches, the place could be made homely. Not that a man living alone would bother, but she could. What was she thinking? Her stay here was only temporary. As soon as she regained her strength, he would cast her and Becky out. Nothing was surer. He was a decent if broken man. She didn’t know why she felt so confident he would see them safely to Harper’s Mount.
The baby fell asleep and Ruth gently eased the
little mouth from her nipple and checked her diaper, which was dry. She swaddled her in the blanket and gazed into her cherub-like face.
“She’s finished feeding now.”
“I’ll just finish this line of figures.” He kept writing then closed the book with a slight snap. “Accounts,” he said climbing to his feet. “Even a hermit like me needs to do some bookwork.”
“I suppose so.”
He stepped over to the bed and picked up the baby. “She should sleep for a while now her little belly is full. I’ll put up a clothesline near the fire. Now she’s taking fluid, she’ll be wetting her drawers as well.”
“Thank you for everything, Tyler.”
He glanced down at her.
“Becky and I owe you our lives.”
“You need to rest and regain your strength.”
“So we can leave?” She couldn’t disguise the bitterness in her voice.
The strangest expression flashed in his eyes. Was it regret? It came and went so quickly, she wondered whether she imagined it.
“Yes.”
“What…what if I don’t want to leave?”
“You can’t stay here…it wouldn’t be right.”
“We’re married.”
“Only on paper, Ruth, and that’s the way I want it to stay.”
“What if I said I was developing feelings for you?”
“I’d say it’s because you’re vulnerable, or maybe crazy in the head, as some people say I am.” He grimaced. “Even my own brothers think I am.”
“You have brothers?”
“Yes, two. They’ve got ranches a few miles away from here. We aren’t close anymore.”
“How sad.”
He shrugged and turned away. “I’ve got water on boiling.” He stepped over to the stove and she gasped in shock as he laid the baby in a wooden box on the shelf above the stove.
“Isn’t it dangerous putting her there?”
“No, it’s not going to catch fire. It will keep her warm.”
“But…”
“She’s premature. A couple of weeks, I’d say. We need to keep her temperature up. Another couple of days should do it.”
“If you think it’s best.”
“It is. I’m going to make you an herbal drink.”
“What kind of herb?” she asked suspiciously.
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