by Lori Wilde
Hugged her tight.
Mom hugged her back. She remembered that clearly because Mom hardly ever hugged her back, so she did not forget the times when it happened.
“Sonny Bono’s dead,” wailed Mom. “Sonny was skiing in Tahoe and ran into a tree. It could just as easily have been me or your dad.”
Fear gripped her. What if Mom ran into a tree when she and Dad went skiing? What if Mom died? What if Dad died? That would leave just Madison to take care of her sisters.
“Maybe he’s just hurt,” Madison had said, trying to comfort her mother and herself. Not that she had any idea who Sonny Bono was. Someone Mom and Dad skied with? But if he wasn’t dead, that meant you couldn’t die while skiing. Right? “Maybe he’s not really dead.”
“He’s dead. It was all over the news.” A fat tear slid down Mom’s cheek. “So sad.”
“Are you going to the funeral?”
“Silly.” Mom frowned and made fart noises with her mouth. “I can’t go to Sonny Bono’s funeral. He’s a big celebrity.”
“Oh.”
Mom went back to crying, sobbing as if her heart would break over a man that Madison had never heard of. Would Mom cry that much if she died?
Dread took Madison’s hand, and to this day she could still recall the stark fear that had driven through her. The fear was why the bizarre memory stuck. Goose bumps raised on her arms and she shivered hard as if she’d had a premonition.
Flash forward one year later. A babysitter was staying with them at their house in Denver while Mom and Dad skied Vail. It was early afternoon and they’d just trooped in from building a snowman on the lawn. Two policemen came up on the front porch. They looked grim and sad, as if they were truly sorry for something bad. The words the tallest cop had spoken were forever branded in Madison’s mind.
Avalanche on the ski slope. Five lives lost.
Her mother and father were among them.
In a flash, Madison’s greatest fear, that she’d be left alone to raise her younger sisters, came to pass.
Later, when they found out they did have a grammy, the burden lifted from her young shoulders. But Madison had never forgotten—and had never let go of her need for a family.
Even after Shelley blew it all up.
Kneeling in front of the hope chest, Madison reached inside and found the photo album she’d gone searching for, tucked it under her arm, and slipped out the front door, just as she heard her sisters coming in the back.
She settled into the front porch rocking chair. Moonglow Boulevard glimmered empty in the moonlight at this time of night. The blooming honeysuckle on the fence scented the air sweet.
Pulling in a deep breath, Madison opened the album.
In the first picture she saw her mother sitting in a waist-high snowbank with a red tasseled ski cap perched atop her shiny blond hair. A true snow bunny who’d been born on a Texas coast when she should have been born in the mountains. His little Snow Bunny, that’s what Dad called Mom. On the next page she saw her mother in her wedding dress—not frilly and fancy, no lace or tulle—simple satin, a bluish white. Her hair pinned up in a French twist Bridget Bardot–style. She wore too-thick false eyelashes, and her lips were painted a deep scarlet as she winked coyly over her shoulder at the photographer. She saw Mom in her Target uniform, red polo shirt and khaki pants, headed out the front door, a spiteful expression on her face as Dad snapped the photo. Mom had hated having her picture taken in that uniform.
Hated that job.
Sometimes, her mother hated the world.
Madison had no idea where the bitterness came from, but from time to time she felt it brewing up inside herself. Whenever things didn’t go according to plan, when her expectations went unmet, when people didn’t dance to the tune of her drumming. It was an unattractive trait. She knew it, tried to harness her anger and rein it in, but she wasn’t always successful.
Particularly around her sisters.
Once upon a time they’d been so close. Could they ever be the way they were before? Or would they, one day, end up completely cut off from each other like Grammy and Mom, because they could no longer find common ground?
Madison closed the album, curled her fingers around the binding. She’d never found out why Mom had left Moonglow Cove and the sunny beaches of the Gulf of Mexico to end up a snow bunny in the mountains of Colorado.
From her grandmother, Madison learned her mother left home at eighteen, after a big rift with Grammy, but she knew nothing about the fight or the circumstances. When, as an inquisitive teen, she’d asked Grammy what happened between them, Grammy had said with deep sadness in her eyes, “Some things hurt too much to talk about.”
At the time the answer angered Madison. She felt she deserved to know why she’d been kept in the dark about having a loving grandmother for so many years.
But now, she understood. Some things just couldn’t be fixed, so it was better not to talk about them. Putting a hand to her flat belly, Madison left the album on the rocking chair and wandered out into the yard in her nightgown.
Looking up into the night sky until she found the star Claire Estelle, she whispered, “Shine on, my little darling, shine on,” while hot tears rolled down her cheeks.
* * *
NOT HAVING A car bothered Madison. It meant waiting for Gia or Darynda to haul her somewhere or using a ride-share service. She needed a rental car.
Even though it was long after midnight before she’d fallen asleep, she was up before six, and since the kitchen was in upheaval from the renovations, she popped over to the Moonglow Bakery for a box of pastries.
By the time she walked back across the street to the inn, Darynda was up and dressed. Stepping gingerly around the demolished floor, her grandmother’s friend slipped a coffee pod into the single-serving coffee machine. She and Madison took their breakfast to the back porch where the wine bottles and glasses still sat on the table.
Madison snorted. Her sisters could have cleaned up at least.
Okay, that right there? It was Finn’s voice in her head. It’s the kind of attitude that widens divides. You expect too much out of people, Madison. We can’t all be saints.
Feeling like a jerk, Madison forced a smile and pushed away her expectations that her sisters should have done what she would have. She threw away the wine bottles, picked up the glasses, and took them inside to wash. When she finished, she went back outside to find Darynda deadheading Grammy’s rosebushes.
“Can you give me a ride? Gia is moving out of her apartment today and can’t—”
Darynda pulled her car keys from her pocket, dangled them from her thumb. “I read minds.”
“Thanks.”
Darynda put the pruning shears back in the garden box and dusted her hands together. “You ready?”
“Just let me grab my purse and leave the cell phone I bought for Shelley.”
“I wonder how she was living without a phone all this time,” Darynda mused, following her inside and waiting while Madison grabbed her purse, scribbled a note for her sister, and left the note on the kitchen table with the new cell phone.
Madison shrugged. “My guess is they didn’t have cell service where she was in Costa Rica.”
“What is that story, do you suppose?” Darynda asked, leading the way to her Mini Cooper.
“Who knows? I’m not prying. It’s Shelley’s secret to keep.”
“Don’t you think there have been enough secrets around here?”
Madison narrowed her eyes, screwed her mouth up to one side. “What secrets are you referring to?”
Darynda shook her head and got behind the wheel. “Never mind me. It’s none of my business how you Moonglow sisters interact.”
“Seriously, Darynda, don’t pretend like you’re not part of the family. You’re as important to Grammy as we are.” Madison climbed into the passenger side and buckled up.
Darynda smiled at that and her face lit up.
“Besides, we’re not really the Moonglow
sisters anymore. I live in Manhattan. And Shelley lives . . . well, who knows where she’ll eventually land.”
“Life is a puzzle.” Darynda backed out of the driveway. “Seems like by the time you’ve got it all together, it’s time to die.”
“Well, hello, Little Miss Sunshine.”
“I don’t mean to be gloomy.” Darynda looked peaceful and her tone was even as she headed up Moonglow Boulevard toward the hospital. “It’s just facts. But I really do wish you girls would mend fences. It would mean so much to your grandmother to wake up and see you getting along.”
Madison’s throat felt dry and scratchy. “We’re working on it.”
“Time isn’t your friend.”
“I’m sorry, but healing takes time.”
“But forgiveness doesn’t. It can happen in a twinkling. Besides,” Darynda said in her no-nonsense voice, “you’ve had five years.”
Right. Everyone wanted her to forget what Shelley had done. As if it were all Madison’s fault the family had fallen apart. “I’m trying, Darynda, I’m trying.”
“That’s all anyone can ask.” Darynda’s smile softened and she reached over to pat Madison’s hand.
Like an embattled knight after a bloody fight to the death, Madison felt dents in her armor. She’d taken a lot of hits and was still standing. That was saying something.
“Wouldn’t it be nice,” Darynda murmured, “to let go of perfect? It’s okay to be human, Maddie. More than okay. Your mistakes make the rest of us feel better for not living up to your lofty standards.”
Madison blinked and stared out the window. Darynda was right. She had a hard time showing her vulnerability. Terrified she’d be taken advantage of if she dared let down her guard.
At the hospital, they found Erma Kelton, the feistiest Quilting Diva, asleep in the chair beside Grammy’s bed. Darynda woke her gently and helped Erma gather her things.
“I’ll walk Erma to her car,” Darynda said. “And be right back.”
“You don’t have to stay. I’ve got this.”
“I want to be here.” Her tone said she had every right to be there and Madison supposed she did. Darynda was the one who’d been here for Grammy when the sisters had all gone their separate ways.
“Good morning, Grammy.” Madison took the chair Erma had vacated. “No need to worry. We’re getting things straightened out at the Moonglow Inn. Doing renovations. Paying the back payments on that mortgage.” She reached for her grandmother’s hand lying so white and still against the covers.
Grandmother’s skin felt hot. Too hot.
She was burning up.
Fear blazed a path up Madison’s spine. She leaned over to press the call button to alert the nurses and tell them her grandmother had a fever, when suddenly a loud, obnoxious beeping blasted from the monitor and the squiggly heartbeat pattern on the screen went crazy.
What was happening?
Madison froze. Every bone in her body seemed made of rubber.
You’re the oldest, Madison, the taskmaster voice in her head countered. The voice that sounded a lot like her late mother. You’re in charge. You’re responsible. The same voice that had whipped her throughout her life. Chiding her when she messed up or took a wrong step. Castigating her whenever she did not measure up.
Instantly, medical personnel flooded into the room. Men and women in scrubs, bustling and barking orders.
One stern-faced nurse grabbed hold of Madison, tugged her to her feet, and shoved her out the door. No apology. All business. She grunted, “Go.”
Over the intercom, a woman’s voice repeated, Code Blue ICU stat, Code Blue ICU stat, Code Blue ICU stat.
Anger crawled up to sit next to the fear inside Madison’s chest. She would not allow them to shunt her off. Not when her grandmother’s life hung in the balance.
Madison pushed back into the room.
The medical staff surrounded the bed. There were so many of them she couldn’t see Grammy.
“Push a bolus of lidocaine,” said the man in a lab coat with a badge identifying him as Dr. Pullman.
Madison took a pen from her purse and wrote that down in the spiral notebook she carried. “What’s going on?”
“Ms. Clark”—the charge nurse took her by the elbow and propelled her from the room—“I know this is difficult, but please let us do our jobs. We’ll come talk to you as soon as we can.”
With that, she shut the door in Madison’s face.
“But—” Madison was ready to shove the door open again. She had medical power of attorney over Grammy’s care. She had every right to be in that room.
“Madison.”
She turned to see Darynda standing there, eyes wide, hands trembling. “What’s happened to Helen?” The poor woman looked as if she were about to collapse.
Madison wrapped her arm around her. “Come on. Let’s go sit in the waiting room. They’ll come tell us something soon.”
Darynda barely nodded, shuffling along as if her feet were too heavy to lift.
“I know it’s scary,” Madison murmured. “I’m scared to pieces too.”
“Is she going to die?”
“Not if I can help it.”
Darynda leaned against Madison’s shoulder. “I’m glad I talked her out of signing a Do Not Resuscitate. If she dies before—”
“She’s not going to die today,” Madison vowed as if she actually had control over it.
“But if she dies and we’re just sitting out here in the waiting room, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Do you want to go into the room and be with her?”
Darynda nodded.
“All right,” Madison said, not caring who she had to fight. They were going in. She hooked her arm through Darynda’s and escorted her back to the room.
Madison cracked open the door. The staff didn’t notice her. They were too busy with Grammy. Darynda tightened her grip on Madison’s arm.
Feeling fiercely protective of her grandmother’s oldest friend, Madison held on tight.
Her gaze flew to the monitors over the bed. Instead of the haywire readout that had set off the alarm, there was now a steady, recognizable heart rhythm.
Grammy was back.
“What happened?” Darynda asked. “Is she going to make it?”
The nurse who had thrown Madison out of the room left what she was doing at the crash cart, and another nurse took her place.
She came over to Madison and in hushed tones said, “Your grandmother suffered a heart attack because she’s septic.”
Septic.
That sounded bad. Really bad. Fear turned to terror. Madison thought she could handle this, thought she was prepared to lose Grammy. She was not.
“What does this mean?” Madison rubbed her crystal necklace as if it could save her somehow.
“She has developed an infection and she is in grave condition. If there are family members you need to notify”—the nurse paused—“now is the time.”
“She’s going to die!” Darynda wailed and she clasped both hands to her mouth.
The dread that had been sitting on Madison’s shoulder swooped in like a vulture to feed.
“We’ll do everything in our power to make sure that doesn’t happen,” the nurse said. “But you and your family do need to prepare yourselves.”
Although the news was alarming, having knowledge calmed Madison. Ambiguity bothered her, but once she had facts, she could act. Facts she could work with. Not knowing? Well, she’d never been much good with open-ended scenarios.
“Now could you please stay outside?” The nurse’s voice was kind, understanding.
Nodding, Madison took Darynda back to the waiting room. The elderly lady burst into tears.
Devastated, Madison knew she couldn’t break down as well. She was in charge now. It was up to her. Putting on a brave face, she said to Darynda, “Grammy is a fighter. She’s strong. She’ll survive.”
“I love her so much.” Darynda sobbed.
Madison sa
t beside her, enfolded Darynda in her arms. “I know.”
“She means the world to me.” She buried her face against Madison’s shoulder.
Darynda’s tears battered Madison. She felt hollow, spent. She had no friends like Darynda and the rest of the Quilting Divas. No neighbors like Mike. No one who would turn up at her hospital bed with hugs and prayers and casseroles and well wishes. There was no cadre of people willing to put their own lives on pause while they helped her through a crisis.
Her friends were coworkers and nothing more. She had no life outside her job. No boyfriend. No baby. All she had were her sisters, and she wasn’t even so sure about that.
When had she gotten so isolated? When had her world shrunk so small? She’d achieved everything she’d ever dreamed of—a hit TV show, wild financial success, a fine apartment in the most vibrant city in the world.
And yet, it felt so empty.
What was all that success worth without a family to come home to and friends to support you? A job couldn’t hold you tight at night. All the money in the world couldn’t cure loneliness.
When and where had her life gone so wrong?
It’s you. You’re the problem. All this time, she’d been blaming Shelley because she didn’t have the courage to face the truth.
Madison knew she was the architect of her own life. She was the one who’d built and designed a frosty landscape. Only she could thaw it.
But dear God, that was a lot of ice to melt.
Chapter Fourteen
Gia
EASING: The process of working in extra fabric where two pieces do not align precisely, especially when sewing curves.
FOR A WEEK, Grammy’s condition was touch and go.
They threw away Madison’s carefully constructed schedule. Let go of the house renovations and the quilting and the pop-up store. With Mike’s help, Gia moved out of her apartment, and officially moved back into her old room with Shelley. Madison stayed in the blue room.
Memorial Day passed without acknowledgment or commemoration. It felt weird not to celebrate because holidays had always been a big deal at the Moonglow Inn. But for now, only one thing mattered.