Instead of letting her past destroy her, Annora was stronger for surviving it.
Unlike him.
He’d allowed himself to wallow in self-pity, becoming a man he couldn’t face in the mirror anymore. He went through the motions of living but couldn’t get through the day without drugs or a drink.
He stared at the cigarettes on his dresser, fiddling with the pack, then crushed them in his fist, tossing them in the trash.
When he found Annora in his room, his heart threatened to leap out of his chest, his cock hardening so fast he went light-headed. In that one second, the pure delight at finding her waiting in his room sent his spirit soaring, and he experienced the joy that had been absent his entire life.
He longed to experience the feeling again.
She was his grá…his perfect woman, created just for him and the rest of the pack.
He didn’t know how he got so lucky, but he wasn’t going to let her slip through his fingers. He would do whatever was necessary to claim her as his, and work for the rest of his life to make sure no one ever hurt her again.
* * *
Annora headed toward the kitchen, marveling at the turn her life had taken. All the pain she’d suffered to get here was worth it. She’d never met anyone like these guys.
They were…sweet.
She didn’t want to lose that scrap of kindness. If things failed with them, she didn’t think she’d be able to start over.
“Let’s get this party started!” Logan hooted from the top of the stairs, and the rest of the guys quickly followed them out to the car. She gave a thought to the knives hidden under her pillow but ruled them out. Until she had time to train with them, the blades would be more of a hindrance than a help.
Logan gallantly swung open the door, then bowed with a flourish, giving her a roguish smile she found charming. He seemed…lighter, more playful, and she liked this side of him more than the man she first met…the one who had only been going through the motions of living.
She recognized the signs, having seen them in the mirror for the past ten years. Annora sat in the back seat with Xander and Logan, the car ride silent, each man lost in his own thoughts, giving her time to observe them when they weren’t watching.
They drove slowly down a rutted road in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by miles and miles of trees and no party in sight.
What had she done?
She was so fucked up she hadn’t even hesitated to get in the car with virtual strangers.
But the funny thing? She felt safe with them.
Camden watched her in the rearview mirror more than he watched the road, and she was sure he was trying to answer some question about her that he hadn’t been able to figure out. Mason shifted in his seat, like he couldn’t wait to get out of the confines of the luxury vehicle. Halfway through the ride, Xander ran a single finger down the outside of her jeans, instantly making her tingle with a rush of emotions. Logan seemed focused on his phone, though he barely watched the screen scroll past as he studied her from the corner of his eyes. Over the course of the past twenty minutes, he went from leaning against the door to pressed up flush against her…and she didn’t think he had a clue.
“For fuck sake…” Logan held up his phone, leaned into her and snapped a quick picture before she could blink. A few clicks later, he pocketed his phone.
Only to have Mason’s beep.
The big man clicked open his phone, then seemed to settle in his seat when a picture of her and Logan popped up on his screen. She cast a glance at Logan, but he only shrugged, tipped his head back and closed his eyes. Ten minutes later, the car came to a stop.
While they piled out of the vehicle, Xander held the door open for her. As she exited, he ran his hand lightly down her back, only for a second, like he couldn’t resist touching her. Then he shut the door and fell back behind the others, practically disappearing into the gathering darkness.
Being in the forest at night was a lot different than daylight—much darker and creepier than she expected. Shadows played against each other despite her enhanced vision. She felt like she was being watched, but couldn’t pin down where the sensation originated.
Mason kept pace with her, and nodded toward their surroundings. “There’s nothing to fear. While the forest can be deadly, if you know how to read your surroundings, it can be a place of shelter. When we go on our tour of the forest tomorrow, I’ll show you how to survive out here. Different doesn’t mean bad. It can be beautiful.”
She didn’t think he was talking about the forest any longer when he glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, then quickly looked away.
His awkward flirting charmed her.
She liked that he wasn’t smooth.
She glanced away, allowing him time to recover. She’d spent most of her life confined to a single room. No more. She wanted to explore the world. “I would like that.”
Mason’s smile was slow and sexy, and she marveled at how such a big man could move so silently.
“Where are we going?” She couldn’t discern a path, but the guys seemed to know where they were heading. Off in the distance, a faint thump and rumble of music echoed in the trees.
Camden glanced back at her. “The Donahue Mill was abandoned about thirty years ago. Since then the lake has become a popular hangout for kids.”
She picked up her pace to walk next to him, and it wasn’t long before they saw Christmas lights strewn about the trees, the place packed with so many kids they spilled out from the old Mill and down to the lake. Everyone was dancing and talking and having a good time.
She hadn’t been aware of stopping until Camden held out his hand for her. “Come.”
The rest of the guys walked past and scattered into the crowd. They laughed, quickly collecting a drink, mingling with the rest, but it was obvious from the way they scanned the crowd and never lingered in any one spot for long that they were working.
“What do you want me to do?” She was excited about the chance to be a part of a team.
“You’re new, so your presence will attract a lot of attention.” Camden reached for her hand and tucked it into the crook of his elbow. Their skin touched briefly, leaving her fingers tingling pleasantly. “The guys and I will take turns escorting you. You are to simply observe and let us know if you see anything odd.”
Without waiting for her reply, he plowed through the crowd, dragging her after him. Most students scattered out of his way, whether because of his reputation or the snarl on his face, she wasn’t sure. A jumble of people pressed against her from all sides until her senses were overwhelmed. The darkness swelled inside her, everyone’s voices jumbling into a low rumble she had a hard time deciphering.
She tightened her grip on Camden’s arm, tucking herself behind him as people turned and blatantly stared. The Mill was a dilapidated, three-story building well over a hundred years old. The main doors were thrown open, leaving her a clear view from one side of the building to the other. Camden wound them through the crowd, up to the second floor.
He stopped at a small bench table, then laid his bare hand on the back of one kid’s neck. “Leave.”
The kid turned and glared up at him, but immediately shut his mouth when he saw it was Camden. He practically dumped the girl off his lap when he stood, and the rest of his crew followed. As soon as they left, Camden dismissed them, and guided her into the now-vacant seats.
She sniffed, trying to place them, then glanced back up at him with a frown. “What are they?”
“Bears.”
Her eyes widened. “Aren’t they territorial?”
No way would they give up their place willingly.
Camden gave her a crooked smile. “Let’s just say I don’t taste very good to their kind.”
She wasn’t sure whether she disapproved of his cocky belief that he owned the world or wanted to marvel at his moxie. “You could try being friends with them.”
Humor melted from his eyes as he took a seat acro
ss from her, then he leaned across the table to get right into her face. “Not shifters. The only things they respect are power and force.”
She turned away from him to scan the crowd, then dipped her head, indicating a group of laughing people. “They seem happy. Friends.”
She glanced back at Camden, but he didn’t even turn to look. “Then you’re not watching closely enough. They’re split into packs. Each group is their own unit. Watch tonight. You’ll see groups challenging each other to see who is more dominant. It’s all about standing and placement in a pack.”
Annora studied him, the crowd forgotten. “But your group isn’t like that.”
He snorted a laugh. When she wasn’t looking, he’d somehow acquired two glasses and pushed one into her hands. “Of course we are. We’re worse than most of them. Find Xander.”
To her surprise, she picked him out of the crowd in seconds. He was leaning against a tree near a keg. He didn’t speak to the group of people around him, but she could tell they were leery of him by the way they watched his every move. “What am I looking at?”
“None of those people are his friends.” Derision poured from Camden. “They want the status of hanging out with us, and if any of them had an opportunity to take us down, they would go in for the kill in a heartbeat.”
Annora stilled as she glanced over the crowd for Mason and Logan. Each of the guys held court in a similar way. Mason spoke quietly to a few guys, while Logan joked and laughed, but she could practically see the barriers between the guys and everyone else.
A pang of loneliness pierced her bubble of reality.
She would never be one of them.
She couldn’t live that way. She tried, and it nearly destroyed her.
“I will always be an outsider here, won’t I?” She refused to glance at Camden.
“Yes.” He answered immediately, his voice hard, not pulling any punches.
“Then why stay?” She turned toward him, suddenly furious at her own naiveté. She thought she was learning to be one of them, but she didn’t want that life if it meant just moving to a different kind of prison. “Why teach me? Why bother to be nice?”
“Orders.” He guzzled his drink, like he hadn’t just taken his claws and gouged her heart out of her chest. He slammed down his cup and shrugged when she refused to drop her gaze. “If Director Greenwood hadn’t assigned you to us, you wouldn’t be here.”
The truth hit her like a blow. She gave an involuntary glance at the others, going over every incident in her head, every kindness, every laugh, reevaluating them all, doubting herself until the need to run clawed at her insides.
She gripped her knees, digging her fingers into her legs, the pain grounding her. She shut down her emotions, then turned back toward Camden. “Why did you tell me that?”
For a fraction of a second she thought she saw remorse flicker in his eyes, but then it was gone. “You are here to do a job. A pet project of the director’s. We’re trained killers, while you’re scared of your own shadow. What will happen when this assignment is over?”
Pain blossomed inside her, and she flinched as the future she so desperately wanted, crumbled to ash. She wanted to tuck away the hurt, bury it and pretend it never happened, but her shattered emotions sent shards of pain into her mind. “I’ll never be one of you.”
She glanced at the crowd, the darkness inside her flickering to life, until the two worlds were superimposed over each other.
None of them were like her.
She wasn’t aware of standing until Camden growled her name. “Annora.”
When he reached for her, his hand passed clear through her arm, and his eyes widened in surprise.
“Like you said…I’m literally nothing.” Then she released her hold on her body, allowing herself to drop through the floor. She landed in a crouch, allowing herself to take shape again, shoving her way through the people, needing space to breathe and readjust to her new reality.
She should be furious at Camden, but could only be grateful that he told her the truth.
She’d foolishly allowed herself to get close to them, and that was a mistake.
If she wanted to survive, she needed to do it on her own.
Chapter Thirteen
Camden curled his shaking fingers into a fist, then slammed it against the table. He knew he’d made a horrible mistake when the beautiful light in Annora’s haunting brown eyes went out. That he was responsible for crushing that tiny spark gutted him, but he hardened his heart against the need to go after her and gather her in his arms.
She deserved better than to be stuck with him and the rest of the pack.
They were poison to those around them.
Most especially him.
Then why did he feel like he’d royally fucked up and lost something precious?
His skin rippled as the lizard fought him for control, the beast demanding they go after her and grovel for forgiveness. No, it was better this way. He would do what he could to free her from her past and give her a chance at a new future—one where she got to decide what she wanted.
As much as he desperately wanted to claim her for his own, she deserved a future that wasn’t tied to a bunch of fuckups who would get her killed. As much as he loved the guys, they were soldiers, every one of them too damaged and hardened to be able to claim Annora without crushing her spirit.
While he knew he was doing the right thing by letting her go, a tiny part of him screamed that he was making the biggest mistake of his life.
* * *
“You will stay away from him, understand?”
The sounds of flesh hitting flesh greeted Annora as she pushed open the bathroom door. To her surprise, the room was crammed with a pack of girls, their backs mostly turned toward her. What stopped her dead was seeing Loulou pinned to the wall by her neck, her feet dangling clear off the floor.
Her pale hair was snarled, her face was already darkening with bruises, her shirt was dirty and torn. Something in Annora snapped. “Leave her the fuck alone.”
She shoved her way through the crowd, using her elbows to make room. The girl holding Loulou was stunning, her dark hair flowing down her back, her face delicate and beautiful…until you looked at the hatred burning in her green eyes.
Annora didn’t hesitate—she rammed her fists into the girl’s kidneys twice—hard and fast.
The girl immediately dropped the rabbit, and Annora pushed herself between them. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?”
A vicious smile lit up the girl’s face as she straightened. “My pleasure.”
The girl swung to take off her head, but Annora was done playing by their bullshit rules, done hiding what she was. Fuck, if she couldn’t be one of them, then she’d beat them. Knowing she wouldn’t be fast enough to get out of the way, Annora allowed herself to dissolve slightly and twisted to the side. She felt the pull on her body as the girl’s hand passed through her skull, her insides twisting slightly at the intrusion.
Then she was standing behind the bitch. Without hesitation, she grabbed the back of her head and bashed her face against the wall twice, smiling when she heard bones cracking. Claws ripped at her, the girl trying to break free of her hold, but Annora didn’t feel anything despite the blood streaming down her arms.
Then Loulou was dragging her away, the small rabbit surprisingly strong.
For every blow that hit her, she gave back twice as hard, but she allowed most of them to pass through. Every touch triggered a swirl of nausea, like they were rearranging her insides, leaving behind part of themselves.
She and Loulou slammed out of the bathroom, the pack of girls hard on their heels. Annora grabbed Loulou’s arm, pulling her to a stop. “Do you trust me?”
Sky blue eyes too large for her face peered up at her, and Loulou frantically nodded. “Yes, but we have to run.”
“Then don’t let go.” Annora wrapped her arms around the girl, practically feeling the rabbit’s hysterical heartbeat slamming a
gainst her ribs, then fell backwards just as the door to the bathroom burst open.
One second they were inside the Mill, then the next they were outside, the ground rushing up to smack them. Annora twisted, taking the brunt of the fall, and released Loulou. The rabbit glanced around them, then blinked in surprise, her mouth opening and closing before a huge smile crossed her face.
“Holy shit, you did it!” Loulou bounded to her feet, touching her body as if making sure she was whole, then turned to touch the wall. “I’m not sure what you did, but you did good.”
She twisted, then crouched, pulling Annora to her feet, then dragging her off toward the side of the Mill. “But we don’t want to stick around long enough for the bitch to find us.”
Annora smiled at the apt term, allowing herself to be led away. “Where are we going?”
Loulou flapped her free arm. “To see Lionel.” Then she continued as if she hadn’t been interrupted. “Vicki’s so not going to be happy her prey vanished, not to mention that you beat her ass in front of her pack.” When she shook her head, her blond hair went flying. “She’s going to be gunning for you next. You shouldn’t have interfered. She wants to be alpha, and you beating her ass is going to look bad.”
While Loulou’s words were spoken in a worried tone, the relish on her face made her eyes sparkle as she shot Annora an impish glance over her shoulder. “But I have to admit it was glorious to see her get what she deserves for once.”
Annora stumbled to keep up with Loulou as she zipped in and out of the crowd. The darkness wanted to pull her into the afterworld, and when she resisted, it crackled painfully against her skin. She was injured and it wanted to heal her…wanted to own a little more of her soul. The sensations left her disoriented, so when she glanced around the crowd, she easily saw the creatures resting just under their human forms.
Ignoring the way her body rebelled against her, Annora forced one foot in front of the other and followed Loulou. “She looked like she wanted to kill you.”
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