“I…” But he had no answer. Coed Bedwen was too wrapped up in his oath. If he took that out of the picture, what did Coed Bedwen alone actually mean to him?
He was saved from answering by Owain, who strode up and clapped a hand on his shoulder.
“Please excuse us, my lady,” Owain said. “I must speak with Huw alone.” He turned to Huw. “It’s time we discussed your scouting mission to Coed Bedwen.”
Huw nodded and followed Owain to the same chamber where he had spoken with Owain the day before. But he couldn’t tear his thoughts from Matilda’s question. Why was Coed Bedwen so important to him? Without his oath, what did it mean?
Then another thought halted him in mid stride. Without his oath, what was he?
His great-uncle’s sneering voice echoed in his head.
You are nothing.
****
Matilda watched, chewing her lip in frustration, as Owain led Huw through a doorway behind the dais. A wave of anger shot through her. She had just opened her heart to Huw, explained why Coed Bedwen meant everything to her. Yet when the king asked him to discuss Coed Bedwen, had Huw suggested she join them? Of course not. All her life, decisions had been made affecting her, that she’d had no say in whatsoever. And so far, she had suffered as a result. Well, no longer!
She picked up her skirts and marched after the men. She didn’t knock or even hesitate at the door. It was time they realized she wouldn’t be lightly dismissed. She found herself in a small room, containing a few chairs around a lit brazier. Shafts of sunlight slanted through high windows up near the rafters, one of them pooling upon a litter of scrolls upon a scribe’s desk. This must be where the king conducted his business whenever he was in residence.
Huw and Owain had just taken their seats, but they sprang up when she entered.
“Whatever you have to say can wait until we’re finished,” Owain said, frowning. “Huw and I have important business to discuss.”
“Anything concerning Coed Bedwen is my business, too. And as I’m the only person in this room who has lived there, I’m surprised it didn’t occur to you to ask me to join you.” The last time she had been there had been when Sir Reginald had moved the household there for a short time five years ago, but she wouldn’t admit to that unless pressed.
“You should include her, my lord. She does have a point.”
Matilda hadn’t expected Huw’s support. She flashed him a brief smile but was met with a frown. Maybe he was just humoring her.
Owain considered her with narrowed eyes for a few heartbeats, then pointed her to a chair. “Very well. Do you have any suggestions you’d like to make at the start?”
The skepticism in his voice pricked her into an angry response. “Yes,” she said. “When Huw goes to spy out Coed Bedwen, you should send me with him.”
****
Huw nearly choked. “That’s a ridiculous suggestion. You can’t possibly—”
But to his disbelief, Owain interrupted, “What intelligence do you think you could provide over and above what Huw could find?” He sat back down and eyed her as though sizing up a young warrior.
“My lord, you can’t seriously be considering this. It’s madness!” Huw half expected Matilda to laugh and say it was a joke, but she remained standing, facing Owain, her chin up, fists clenched at her sides.
He sat with a jolt. Holy Mother of God, she was serious. The thought of having Matilda with him in a dangerous situation made him go cold. Not because he feared for her safety, of course. But he couldn’t trust her not to do something foolish that would endanger them both.
And she was a potent source of distraction. If he had been beguiled by her allure on their two-day journey here, how much worse would it be spending a week or more alone with her?
Then just for an instant he saw Matilda’s eyes flicker. It was a look that said she had acted on impulse and was only now realizing what she was letting herself in for. Good. Maybe she would come to her senses and back down.
But Matilda drew a deep breath and with a steady voice said, “As I mentioned, I have inside knowledge of Coed Bedwen. And with all due respect to Huw, he is Welsh. I am half Welsh but was brought up a Norman. I understand them as you do not. I also have contacts in the village who could help me get into the castle.”
She seemed to be making up her words as she went along, but annoyingly they made good sense. The part of his mind that was always assessing a person or situation, even when he wasn’t spying, approved of her ability to think quickly and come up with workable suggestions. But he did his best to shut out those thoughts.
He opened his mouth, but Owain got in first.
“I’ve never sent a woman to do something so dangerous before. Why should I do so now?”
Huw relaxed. Finally, the king was seeing reason.
“Because I’m a woman. Women can pass unnoticed where men get questioned.” She pointed to a jug of mead that was on a low table in the corner. Three horn cups were beside it. “Those weren’t there when I came in. Who put them there?” She gave Owain a challenging smile.
It was time to put an end to Matilda’s fantasy. She would thank him later. “A red-headed maid came in through the side door just when the king asked you what intelligence you could offer above mine,” he said, enjoying the wide-eyed gaze she turned upon him. He sent up a prayer of thanks that he had caught the movement in the corner of his eye and glanced across in time to see the maid. “She placed the jug and two cups on the table, then dashed out and brought back another one.”
Matilda swallowed, and a flush crept up her throat. Huw would have felt sorry for her if he didn’t know she was better off staying safe with her uncle whilst he went to Coed Bedwen. Alone.
“There is little that escapes Huw,” said Owain, his lips quirking. “However, I must point out that I didn’t notice the maid.”
Huw’s gut felt as heavy as if he had just swallowed a lead weight. “This is preposterous. You can’t seriously be considering this?”
“You have to admit, she makes a good point,” said Owain. “Few men possess your talent of observation; she’s right about that. And men don’t take such care to guard their tongues around women.”
Matilda’s face split into a triumphant smile. Now it was Huw’s turn to clench his fists.
“I haven’t agreed to your request yet,” Owain said to Matilda. “I need time to think about it. Leave me. Both of you. I’ll let you know what I decide.”
Huw stood, bowed, then grabbed Matilda’s arm and marched her out of the room and into the hall.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He kept his voice low, aware of the eyes that turned their way. “This isn’t a game. You could get yourself killed.”
“I don’t know why you’re getting yourself worked up about it then. It would be a lucky escape for you if I did. You’d get Coed Bedwen without being tied to a wife you despise.”
Huw grimaced. “Do you honestly think I want to undertake a dangerous mission with a woman I can’t trust not to drug me?”
“You dare talk to me about trust when you didn’t tell me about your claim on Coed Bedwen?”
A rustle of skirts and a waft of rosewater announced a new arrival. “I think you should save this conversation until you’re somewhere more private, don’t you?”
Huw was on the point of telling the woman it was none of her concern, when he realized it was Matilda’s aunt, Gwenllian. Gruffyth stood at her elbow.
He was saved from answering when Matilda got there before him. “Don’t worry, Aunt, we have nothing more to say to each other. I’ll await the king’s decision in the courtyard.”
She swept out, leaving Huw to face the black looks of both Gwenllian and Gruffyth.
“Would you care to explain what that was about?” Gruffyth asked.
His frown deepened as he listened to Huw’s explanation. “Then you had every right to challenge her.” Gruffyth tore off his cloak and flung it across a bench. “If this is the kind of madnes
s that results from being brought up in a Norman household, I’m relieved none of my children have ever set foot outside Wales.”
“I’ll go and talk sense into her.” Gwenllian went after her niece.
“I doubt it’ll work,” Huw said. “She’s the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met. Once she’s got hold of an idea, there’s no talking her out of it.”
“You’ve only known her a short while, yet you can really claim to know her that well?” Gruffyth asked.
“I…yes, I believe I do,” Huw replied.
Gruffyth left him to follow his wife and Matilda. Huw remained in the hall, reflecting on just how well he did know Matilda. Of course, in his line of work, it was a necessary skill to be able to read another person from only a few clues. But with Matilda, it was deeper than that. She had managed to worm her way under his skin until he was aware of her at all times. Even now, he found himself imagining what she would be doing in the courtyard. Pacing perhaps, her chin lifted in that stubborn tilt while she ignored the advice her anxious aunt and uncle were probably pouring into her ears.
How had that happened? He had never had a problem with keeping people at a distance before. What was it about Matilda that was different?
It must be their families’ fraught shared history. He had been painfully aware of her from the beginning, studied her. In doing so, he must have let down his defenses. And he had to admit, Comyn or no, the way she had stood up to Owain showed courage. For the first time, it occurred to him that his admiration for her went deeper than mere physical desire.
No! He clenched his fists. He would not let this happen, couldn’t question the rightness of the blood oath. It was the only thing that gave his life any purpose. He ruthlessly squashed all his softer feelings.
He was torn from his musings by the creak of a door opening behind him. He turned to see Owain approaching.
“Where is Matilda?” Owain asked.
“Outside, my lord. Have you made your decision?”
“I should tell you both together.”
“Tell me now!” Hugh snapped, before adding a belated, “my lord.”
Owain gave him a level look. “I’ve decided to let Matilda accompany you.”
Huw stepped up to Owain and reached for the neck of his tunic, only just jerking his hand back in time. He’d been sorely tempted to shake the king by his throat until his teeth rattled. “You can’t—” he began, but Owain cut him off with a curt gesture.
“I can. And for one very good reason, above and beyond the ones we’ve already discussed.”
“And that is?”
“In the eyes of many of Coed Bedwen’s inhabitants, Matilda is the rightful heiress. The reason I’ve held back from retaking Coed Bedwen—and much of the other lands the Normans have seized—is that we don’t have the strength to take their castles by force. But if the folk within them can be persuaded to revolt…”
Huw didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “You want her to be a figurehead. A rallying point for a rebellion.”
“Think of the bloodshed it will save, Huw. Not to mention how it would limit destruction. Do you seriously want to take possession of a castle we’ve been forced to reduce to rubble?”
It made sense, he couldn’t deny it. Too much sense. “You didn’t dream this up just now, did you? You’ve planned this all along.”
“It was always a possibility. I made up my mind when she came storming in here like an avenging goddess. You can’t deny she’s got spirit. She’s got the strength to inspire people to rally to the cause.”
“And I haven’t? My family has the older claim to Coed Bedwen.”
“The Welsh would rally to you, I have no doubt of that. But most of the folk there came after the Comyns took control—they’re English. They’d be more likely to stomach Welsh rule if they had the assurance that Matilda was to be their Lady.”
Huw’s simmering anger boiled over. “What of my oath? Would you have me renege?”
Owain scowled. “This is more important than your own personal feud. If you can’t live with that, I’ll find another man who is prepared to put aside his personal issues in loyalty to me.”
Huw took a breath. He couldn’t afford to see Coed Bedwen in the hands of another man. He bent his head. “I hold my loyalty to you above everything, my lord.”
“Good. Then go and inform your lady of my decision.”
“At once, my lord.”
But he didn’t meet Owain’s gaze. Because if the king thought this marriage would prevent Huw from fulfilling his vow once he’d regained Coed Bedwen then he was in for a shock. Nothing was more important to him than his vow.
****
“Matilda, you must listen to sense. This is…” Her uncle pinched the bridge of his nose. “It broke my heart when I heard your mother had died. I can’t lose you too.”
Matilda couldn’t look him in the face. She bent down, making a pretense of picking a fresh leaf of spearmint that was beginning to show pale green spring shoots. She had come to the herb garden, secluded behind its wattle fences, to be alone, but it hadn’t taken her aunt and uncle long to find her. Her uncle’s distress shook her, but for all that she regretted the impulsive outburst that had led to her offering her services to Owain, she couldn’t back down now. Not in front of Huw.
“It’s in the king’s hands now,” she said. “I must abide by his decision, whatever that is.”
Gwenllian spoke, her voice grim. “I think we’re about to find out.” The crash of the wicket gate slamming shut accompanied her words.
Matilda straightened up to see Huw storming down the paved walkway. His face was set in hard lines.
Gruffyth hurried up to him. “The king has agreed?” he asked, his voice strained.
Huw nodded, and Matilda was surprised that her overwhelming feeling was one of relief. Although why that should be when it involved going into danger, she couldn’t say.
“I did my best to talk him out of it,” Huw said, “but he had good reasons for his decision.” He cast a frown in her direction that made her stomach knot. She hoped his anger with her would die down, or working with him, let alone being married to him, would be a trial.
“I’d like a word alone with Matilda now, if you don’t mind,” he said.
Gruffyth sent a doubtful glance in her direction, but then said, “Come, Gwenllian. The least we can do is leave Huw to see if he can succeed where we have failed.” He pressed a hand into the small of his wife’s back and led her away.
As soon as the gate clattered shut behind the pair, Huw said, “You’ve got what you wanted. I hope you won’t regret it.”
“I hope so, too,” she said. “But I had to offer.”
“Why?”
“Everything important that’s happened to me is down to decisions made by men—my…my father, King Stephen, Fitzjohn…and look at the misery they caused me. From now on, I’ve decided to take control of my life.”
“Even if that puts you in danger?”
“Women have died at the hands of men in their own homes. I’d rather face death head-on than have it creep up on me unawares in a place where I should be safe.” She did her best to keep the tremor out of her voice, although her stomach knotted at the prospect of what lay ahead.
“In that case you’ll be happy to learn Owain’s chosen you as the figurehead for a revolt. We plan to take Coed Bedwen from within. You’ll have all the danger you want.”
Matilda’s mouth went dry. Was Owain mad? She had no experience of leadership. Did she possess the ability? And the courage?
Huw was watching her, a frown biting deep beneath his brows. Clearly, he didn’t believe she had. She raised her chin. “I think the king is a wise man. I hope you’ll agree that we need to work together closely. Unless we do, we’re both at risk.”
“Of course. But understand this: I’m in charge. You’ll obey me without question. And no acting without consulting me first. Agreed?”
His eyes bored into hers, as hard as flint
s. Argument would be futile.
“Agreed.”
****
Their uneasy truce lasted through the days that followed. Most of her time was taken up with preparations for the wedding. Gwenllian had been shocked to learn Matilda had escaped Redcliff with only the gown she had been wearing. Therefore, she had taken it upon herself to provide new ones. Most of Matilda’s days were spent in Gruffyth and Gwenllian’s guest chamber, embroidering hems, listening to the chatter of Gwenllian and her ladies. This did have the advantage of improving her Welsh. And as much as she knew she and Huw should be discussing their mission, she was relieved to have an excuse to stay away from him. She couldn’t be easy in his presence. The day was drawing nearer when she would be his wife. And yet again, she would be at the mercy of his decisions.
The only time she saw him was at mealtimes.
“Has the king decided when we’re to leave?” she asked him at dinner, two days before the wedding. The silence between them had become so unbearable that speech with him was the lesser of two evils.
“The morning after the wedding,” Huw said.
Matilda lowered the piece of bread she had been about to eat and placed it on the table. Suddenly her stomach felt too tight to eat. The morning after the wedding immediately made her think of the night before. Their wedding night. She had tried hard not to dwell on that. Gwenllian had taken her aside only that morning, told her what to expect. Hinted at the pleasure to be found in the marriage bed. Matilda found that hard to believe. She hated the thought of being naked in front of Huw, with nowhere to hide. Of being vulnerable. She couldn’t imagine ever trusting a man enough to willingly allow him to use her in that way.
Yet the church forbade her from denying her husband his rights, and right now she needed all the protection that God and His saints could offer.
“How far is it?” she asked. If she filled her mind with practical issues, she wouldn’t have to think of lying with Huw.
“Less than a day’s ride from here. Your uncle has agreed to accompany us for most of the way, but we’ll have to travel the last few miles on foot. Arriving on horseback would draw too much attention to ourselves. Anyway, it’s good that you’ll have a bit more time to get to know your uncle and aunt.”
Bound to Her Blood Enemy Page 7