by Mya Robarts
“You’re breaking the rules anyway,” I say. “Teaching a Nat girl the functions of a technologically advanced ATV? That’s taboo!”
“Forbidden is good. Taboo is good.”
Sexual innuendos. This whole lesson has been full of them. Of all the places in Gyges where we could have started the driving lessons, he chose a parking lot under who knows how many people having sex. A ride in the elevator next to us and we’d be rising toward the sex-rooms. His intentions are clear, but I’m undecided.
After an hour of practice, driving becomes easier, but I’m still distracted by sexual thoughts. It’s thrilling to think of what would happen if he rented a room. We’re already sleeping together, but he promised that he wouldn’t make anything sexual out of our arrangement. He said nothing about a repose-place, though.
“You’re ready to drive on the open highway, Lila. Let’s go.”
I get out of the ATV to walk around to the passenger seat so that he can take the driver’s seat and drive us outside the city limits.
Aleksey grabs my wrist to stop me. His intense expression makes me feel a tickle traveling up my tummy.
“Come with me,” he says in a seductive, throaty voice.
Oh no! Does he intend to take me to one of the rent-by-the-hour rooms? A primal part of me screams its approval, but the rational part of me needs to know him better before taking this step. Am I ready to have sex with a man who may hurt me? I worry about not being able to stop him if I have second thoughts.
“Don’t overthink things, Lila.” Effortlessly, he lifts me off my feet and drapes me over his shoulder. The way he displays his strength by manipulating my body makes heated blood course through my veins. Before I know it, we’re in the elevator.
I gasp when the elevator doors open, not to a repose room, but to a breathtakingly beautiful sight. An infinite stretch of twinkling city lights extends before me, and the tallest skyscrapers shine dazzlingly as if they were made of diamond. The sound of the wind beating furiously against the crystal-like dome shielding Gyges becomes rhythmic¾almost like a sensual melody.
Placing his hand on my lower back, Aleksey leads me to a railing at the edge of the roof. I look down. A gorgeous sculptured bridge stands over a sparkling river. I realize that the reason he chose this repose-place was not because he wanted to get intimate. He chose it because this building has the most beautiful view of the city. I can’t take my eyes off the stunning sight, but I’m vividly conscious of how close our bodies are. A warm feeling gradually spreads through me, leaving me speechless.
When I finally turn to Aleksey, his gorgeous blue eyes stare into mine. The words stick in my throat, struggling to come out. “Thank you for—” The driving lessons, saving my life more than once, bringing me here … I can’t pick just one thing for which I owe him. “—everything.”
We look at each other for what feels like an eternity. He must have seen something in my eyes because his face warms up. It’s the first time I’ve seen him grinning boyishly with no hint of wickedness or arrogance.
“What?”
Aleksey turns his eyes to the majestic view. “The way you looked at me. You haven’t looked at me like that before.”
“Like what?”
“With warmth. Like you care for me.”
“I c—” I’m about to say care, but stop myself. “Um … have I ever treated you badly?”
He sits with his legs dangling over the railing. I imitate him. “You always act so cautious around me. I wish you weren’t afraid of me.”
“But I am. That’s the reason I can’t accept your … training proposition. But thanks for the offer.”
The grave expression on his face speaks louder than words. Evidently, he isn’t used to hearing the word no. Rey’s not an option anymore, but I’ll make Aleksey believe that he still is.
“I think it’d feel better with … my friend.” I look up to the dome. “I know him well, and I trust him. I wouldn’t be nervous, and it wouldn’t be a one-night stand.” I shake my head. “I don’t have anything against casual sex, but I have expectations, and I won’t accept less.”
Aleksey’s good mood is gone. His face reddens, and his scowl reappears. Everything about him, from his clenched fists to his cold eyes, speaks of contained frustration and anger.
“Fine,” he says curtly.
I look at him in confusion.
He looks up at the dome and then at me. “Fine. Tell me exactly what your expectations are, and I’ll adapt.”
“You’ll adapt? I don’t understand.”
“I want your exclusive attention. I’m not having sex with anyone at the moment because you’re the only girl I want. You want me, too. You have my exclusivity. Give me yours. I’ll meet your expectations if you tell me what they are.”
“What’s the point? You said that you’re interested only in sex, and that’s not enough for me.”
“That was before I saw how determined you were to be with your friend.”
He saw what? After his marriage proposal, I haven’t thought about the Priest in that way. Is this because Aleksey saw Rey with his arm around me? He can’t be that possessive, can he? “But what is it to you? If Rey and I—”
His scowl deepens. “I’d rather you didn’t, Lila. I’ve noticed that you don’t want me to have sex with other girls, either.” He takes my hand and kisses my fingers. “Let’s be exclusive.”
My mouth opens in surprise. For a while, I say nothing, struggling to find the right words. “One of my expectations is to know my … partner. You’re a mystery, and I don’t get you, Mr. Fürst. What you are asking for sounds like a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, and you said you didn’t want that.”
“I don’t understand either, Lila. That day at the river, I knew I had to get you in my bed, under me. I yearn for you like I’ve never yearned for anyone before. I yearn to possess your body, but I also yearn for every bit of human touch you can offer me.”
I take his hand. “I’ll give you a good share of human touch, but …um … se—sexually … I won’t ever meet your expectations. You can’t pretend that you aren’t more interested in the sexual touch than the human touch.”
A soft breeze plays with his hair. “At the beginning, my interest in you was one hundred percent sexual. I thought you’d be an adventure like any other. I would have given you the kind of pleasure nobody but me can give you. You would’ve been grateful and satisfied even if you hadn’t seen me again. You would have preferred that to the alternative of never getting to know what a man like me can offer.”
The way he speaks confidently about his sexual plans awakens my desire.
His eyes scan the horizon. “I wanted to use you and then return to my normal life as though you had never existed. But you’re anything but easy. There’s no middle ground with you. It’s either your way or nothing at all. And I started to like you more because of that. Sex won’t be enough for me now. I want more.”
My stomach is full of butterflies. If this isn’t a declaration, then what is?
He lifts my chin, forcing me to look at him. “I gave you time. I thought you’d come around on your own. But you won’t be convinced solely by desire. It’s evident that you want a mutually exclusive relationship, but I don’t know how to be with you in that way. I haven’t ever had a non-sexual relationship with a woman. And Lila, whatever happens between us, I won’t ever forget you.”
“So for the time you are in Starville, you want … a relationship?”
He looks at me with an intensity that makes me melt. “I want exclusivity. I want your body, Lila. Badly. I want your consent even more. But don’t mistake exclusivity for romance. I want the sex part. The bestial part. This is a means to make you crave the sexual touch as much as I do. What do I need to do?”
My first impulse is to dance with happiness. It should have been evident before, but now I can be sure: Aleksey Fürst not only wants my company and human touch, he also wants my consent. And he’ll fight for it!
“Then do you agree not to have sex with that Diaz boy?” he asks, evidently disgusted by the thought.
“I won’t sleep with him, and you’ll have my exclusivity as long as you stop leaving my questions unanswered and—”
I gasp when he pulls me into his arms in a firm embrace. I snuggle against his broad chest. It’s incredible how easily we have moved from a sexually charged conversation to a display of human touch.
Long moments pass, and the feeling of being small and protected in his arms leaves me cozy and content. He seems to be happy that I’ve accepted his deal.
“What do you want to know?” he asks without breaking our embrace.
I’m dying to know who C.N. is, but I begin with basic questions. “Do you have a family? Parents? Children?”
A hint of the sadness he had the day I met him appears in his eyes. “I don’t have children. I haven’t seen my mother in years. I’m not as close to my father and siblings as you are to yours.”
I feel a pang of sympathy as he speaks. He’s not close to his family, he never stays in one place, and he shuts himself away from other people. Aleksey is the quintessential lone wolf. I reach up to touch his cheek. We stay like that for a while.
Later, he gives me a tour of the roof-garden while I attack him with more questions. His favorite color is purple. His mother taught him how to play the double bass, and he’s part of the Accord Unit orchestra. After the war ends, he’ll return to his residency in neurosurgery. He’s supposed to live in a cottage that the UNNO provides for high-rank officers on the Californian coast, but he hasn’t been there for over a year.
He makes me laugh when he describes the first time he trained Tristan in Kung-Fu techniques. His funny side is adorable. Plenty of details come to the surface, and for the first time since I’ve met him, I feel as though there’s no barrier between us.
When we reach the elevator doors once again, the wall I’ve built to keep him out has collapsed. I’m ready for everything.
I look up, and the smoldering expression on his face sends warmth through every nerve inside me.
Aleksey softly runs his hands through my hair, his sensual gaze interrupted only when he pulls me close and touches my lips with his. He starts with a deep, intimate kiss that I don’t return. But the kiss turns possessive when I kiss him back, molding my body to his. Strong hands cover my hips and slowly move their way up to my neck before cradling my face. Soft touches of his tongue caress my lips. I can’t get enough of his heady, masculine scent, of the way his long arms easily encircle me. Waves of desire run through my body and concentrate in intimate places.
“Let’s go to a quieter place,” he whispers breathlessly in my ear, raising goose bumps all over my body.
“Quieter?”
“Where we can … relax and have some privacy. I know you’re dying of curiosity to see the rooms.”
“That’s neither here nor there, and I think we better … Whoa! Put me down!”
He carries me toward an elevator. I don’t resist. My body is burning with need, so it’d be pointless to play hard to get.
The elevator ride takes us to the sultriest place I’ve ever been.
36
Sex training
I nervously scan the lavish, dimly-lit room. It must cost thousands of Continentals per hour. From the red little sofa at the entrance to the marble mantelpiece, every piece of furniture looks elaborate and expensive. There’s a long bench made of translucent material. Gadgets that resemble video cameras move in circles under the bench and around the four-poster bed.
Multiple screens on the walls project various images: ocean waves on one, a beautiful lake on another, and soft rain in a forest on the biggest screen. Some screens show couples performing sexual acts on translucent benches in rooms that look like this one. The sexual imagery not only turns me on, it makes me acutely aware of Aleksey’s muscular arms around my body, of his massive chest near my head. Being so close to him ignites sparks that spread deliciously across my skin.
The widest screen projects a live image of everything that happens on the bed. I can see my wide-eyed face when Aleksey makes me stand on a plush velvet stool next to the four-poster bed.
The tension paralyzes me. He walks confidently around the room and turns off all the screens except the one that reflects my trembling body as a mirror would.
Aleksey points to the camera circling the bed’s canopy. “If it makes you feel more secure, I can turn that one off, too.”
“Don’t,” I whisper. I’m a voyeur; I want to see what we’re going to do. Whatever that is.
For what seems like an eternity, I stand timidly next to the bed, not daring to look at him, but all the while feeling his burning gaze on my body.
He takes off his cape and walks toward me intently.
“Maybe we can work it out … your lessons.”
He kisses me slowly, deeply, biting my lower lip with a sensuality that takes my breath away. “Relax,” he whispers in my ear, making me shiver. “You can stop me at any time.”
“Mm … how … would it work?” I ask breathlessly between kisses. “If you … teaching me stuff … with your hands on me … may trigger bad memories?”
His face and stance are hungry. Predatory.
“I guess I’d have to show you,” he whispers in a husky voice.
He leans in slowly as if waiting for my permission. His cheek touches mine before his nose nuzzles my face. My head falls back when his lips graze the skin of my neck and collarbone. A tingling, warm sensation radiates through my body.
Aleksey inhales deeply, as though trying not to lose control. I feel his breath, but not his lips, on the skin of my shoulders. It’s as though he’s deliberately prolonging the moment. Every millimeter of my skin has become ultra-sensitive. The sensation of his breath on my skin creates a delicious current of electricity that washes through me.
Finally, his mouth brushes lightly against my shoulder. I never knew my shoulders could be such a source of pleasure. I bend my head to the side, exposing my neck. His lips barely touch me. They move from my shoulder to the pulse point on my neck, to my collarbone, back to my shoulder, then up again to repeat this exquisite cycle.
My dress falls to the floor, and I’m wearing nothing but a corset and underwear. I’m extremely turned on by his ability to use his lips to undress me.
“You’re feeling it, too. You want my hands all over your body as much as I do,” he whispers huskily while gently sucking the pulse point in my neck.
My trembling, inexpert fingers fumble with his leathered armor. My voice comes out in a whimper. “How do you take this off?”
Smirking, he scoops me into his arms and places me on the bed. Standing near me, he takes off his armor, and his naked torso comes into view. I stare in fascination at his bestial size¾the chiseled lines of his strong muscles, his tattoos, and scars. Every part of him exudes a brutish, feral beauty.
I can’t bring myself to look at him anymore. I turn to the screen. The difference in our heights, builds, and sexual expertise is evident. I look like a scared doe about to be devoured by a lion.
With feline movements, he climbs on the bed and crawls until he’s on all fours over me. For some moments, we stare at each other, breathing forcefully. What will he do?
He places his hands on my waist and waits. When he sees that I don’t panic, his hands smooth up my sides, sending shivers across my skin.
A maelstrom of pleasant sensations curls inside me when he slowly nibbles my ears. His husky whisper caresses my earlobe as his lips do, making me shiver. “It’s okay. Just relax.”
His nose tentatively skims my neck, tickling me with his breath. The loud beating of his heart and his jagged breath tell me that he enjoys this as much as I do.
He alternates between kissing my mouth and kissing the hollow at the base of m
y throat as his hands run over my thighs slowly. Aleksey lowers his body, being careful not to crush me with his weight. I run my hands over his abs, chest, and shoulders, enjoying the contact. I can feel his erection pressing against me.
When I timidly trace his tattoos and scars with my fingers, he shudders and rolls me over him.
Expertly demonstrating that he knows what he’s doing, Aleksey loosens my corset’s ties and takes it off. The only obstacle between our naked bodies is a flimsy piece of tie-side underwear.
Showcasing his considerable strength, he lifts me above him and takes a moment to caress my body with his penetrating gaze. It’s nerve-racking and erotic at the same time. I’ve never been so naked and vulnerable in front of anybody. Except him.
I cover myself with my arms, shivering slightly. He realizes that I’m getting scared and pauses to give me time to adjust. For a moment, he cradles me against his chest. Then, with his hand firmly against my head, he kisses me gently. It doesn’t take long for me to invite him to continue.
“Look at me, Lila.” His eyes become dark and unfocused. I can see that he’s fighting hard to control himself so that I don’t run scared.
He moves my body so that my breasts are hanging dangerously close to his face, to his lips.
When he sits up and makes me straddle him, my arms wrap tentatively around his neck. He tips my head back and trails kisses all over my chin, my jaw, my neck, down my collarbone and to the top of my breast.
“Ah,” I moan loudly when he takes my breast into his mouth and sucks it softly. Waves of hot pleasure travel from my breast to my core. I’ve never felt anything like this before, not even in my dreams.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers in a hoarse, deep voice while my breast is still in his mouth. His cool breath and soft lips tickle me deliciously. He nibbles my erect nipple before flicking his tongue over it.
“Oh, God!” I whimper. If the throbbing pulse between my legs keeps building, I’ll lose my mind.
With his mouth still on my breast, he rolls my body so that he’s on top.