The Gold Bat

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The Gold Bat Page 24

by P. G. Wodehouse


  XXII

  A DRESS REHEARSAL

  Some people in Trevor's place might have taken the earliest opportunityof confronting Rand-Brown, so as to settle the matter in hand withoutdelay. Trevor thought of doing this, but finally decided to let thematter rest for a day, until he should have found out with someaccuracy what chance he stood.

  After four o'clock, therefore, on the next day, having had tea in hisstudy, he went across to the baths, in search of O'Hara. He intendedthat before the evening was over the Irishman should have imparted tohim some of his skill with the hands. He did not know that for a manabsolutely unscientific with his fists there is nothing so fatal as totake a boxing lesson on the eve of battle. A little knowledge is adangerous thing. He is apt to lose his recklessness--which might havestood by him well--in exchange for a little quite useless science. Heis neither one thing nor the other, neither a natural fighter nor askilful boxer.

  This point O'Hara endeavoured to press upon him as soon as he hadexplained why it was that he wanted coaching on this particularafternoon.

  The Irishman was in the gymnasium, punching the ball, when Trevor foundhim. He generally put in a quarter of an hour with the punching-ballevery evening, before Moriarty turned up for the customary six rounds.

  "Want me to teach ye a few tricks?" he said. "What's that for?"

  "I've got a mill coming on soon," explained Trevor, trying to make thestatement as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world for aschool prefect, who was also captain of football, head of a house, andin the cricket eleven, to be engaged for a fight in the near future.

  "Mill!" exclaimed O'Hara. "You! An' why?"

  "Never mind why," said Trevor. "I'll tell you afterwards, perhaps.Shall I put on the gloves now?"

  "Wait," said O'Hara, "I must do my quarter of an hour with the ballbefore I begin teaching other people how to box. Have ye a watch?"

  "Yes."

  "Then time me. I'll do four rounds of three minutes each, with aminute's rest in between. That's more than I'll do at Aldershot, butit'll get me fit. Ready?"

  "Time," said Trevor.

  He watched O'Hara assailing the swinging ball with considerable envy.Why, he wondered, had he not gone in for boxing? Everybody ought tolearn to box. It was bound to come in useful some time or other. Takehis own case. He was very much afraid--no, afraid was not the rightword, for he was not that. He was very much of opinion that Rand-Brownwas going to have a most enjoyable time when they met. And the finalhouse-match was to be played next Monday. If events turned out as hecould not help feeling they were likely to turn out, he would be toobattered to play in that match. Donaldson's would probably win whetherhe played or not, but it would be bitter to be laid up on such anoccasion. On the other hand, he must go through with it. He did notbelieve in letting other people take a hand in settling his privatequarrels.

  But he wished he had learned to box. If only he could hit that dancing,jumping ball with a fifth of the skill that O'Hara was displaying, hiswiriness and pluck might see him through. O'Hara finished his fourthround with his leathern opponent, and sat down, panting.

  "Pretty useful, that," commented Trevor, admiringly.

  "Ye should see Moriarty," gasped O'Hara.

  "Now, will ye tell me why it is you're going to fight, and with whomyou're going to fight?"

  "Very well. It's with Rand-Brown."

  "Rand-Brown!" exclaimed O'Hara. "But, me dearr man, he'll ate you."

  Trevor gave a rather annoyed laugh. "I must say I've got a nice,cheery, comforting lot of friends," he said. "That's just what Cloweshas been trying to explain to me."

  "Clowes is quite right," said O'Hara, seriously. "Has the thing gonetoo far for ye to back out? Without climbing down, of course," headded.

  "Yes," said Trevor, "there's no question of my getting out of it. Idaresay I could. In fact, I know I could. But I'm not going to."

  "But, me dearr man, ye haven't an earthly chance. I assure ye yehaven't. I've seen Rand-Brown with the gloves on. That was last term.He's not put them on since Moriarty bate him in the middles, so he maybe out of practice. But even then he'd be a bad man to tackle. He's bigan' he's strong, an' if he'd only had the heart in him he'd have beengoing up to Aldershot instead of Moriarty. That's what he'd be doing.An' you can't box at all. Never even had the gloves on."

  "Never. I used to scrap when I was a kid, though."

  "That's no use," said O'Hara, decidedly. "But you haven't said what itis that ye've got against Rand-Brown. What is it?"

  "I don't see why I shouldn't tell you. You're in it as well. In fact,if it hadn't been for the bat turning up, you'd have been considerablymore in it than I am."

  "What!" cried O'Hara. "Where did you find it? Was it in the grounds?When was it you found it?"

  Whereupon Trevor gave him a very full and exact account of what hadhappened. He showed him the two letters from the League, touched onMilton's connection with the affair, traced the gradual development ofhis suspicions, and described with some approach to excitement thescene in Ruthven's study, and the explanations that had followed it.

  "Now do you wonder," he concluded, "that I feel as if a few rounds withRand-Brown would do me good."

  O'Hara breathed hard.

  "My word!" he said, "I'd like to see ye kill him."

  "But," said Trevor, "as you and Clowes have been pointing out to me, ifthere's going to be a corpse, it'll be me. However, I mean to try. Nowperhaps you wouldn't mind showing me a few tricks."

  "Take my advice," said O'Hara, "and don't try any of that foolery."

  "Why, I thought you were such a believer in science," said Trevor insurprise.

  "So I am, if you've enough of it. But it's the worst thing ye can do tolearn a trick or two just before a fight, if you don't know anythingabout the game already. A tough, rushing fighter is ten times as goodas a man who's just begun to learn what he oughtn't to do."

  "Well, what do you advise me to do, then?" asked Trevor, impressed bythe unwonted earnestness with which the Irishman delivered thispugilistic homily, which was a paraphrase of the views dinned into theears of every novice by the school instructor.

  "I must do something."

  "The best thing ye can do," said O'Hara, thinking for a moment, "is toput on the gloves and have a round or two with me. Here's Moriarty atlast. We'll get him to time us."

  As much explanation as was thought good for him having been given tothe newcomer, to account for Trevor's newly-acquired taste for thingspugilistic, Moriarty took the watch, with instructions to give them twominutes for the first round.

  "Go as hard as you can," said O'Hara to Trevor, as they faced oneanother, "and hit as hard as you like. It won't be any practice if youdon't. I sha'n't mind being hit. It'll do me good for Aldershot. See?"

  Trevor said he saw.

  "Time," said Moriarty.

  Trevor went in with a will. He was a little shy at first of putting allhis weight into his blows. It was hard to forget that he felt friendlytowards O'Hara. But he speedily awoke to the fact that the Irishmantook his boxing very seriously, and was quite a different person whenhe had the gloves on. When he was so equipped, the man opposite himceased to be either friend or foe in a private way. He was simply anopponent, and every time he hit him was one point. And, when he enteredthe ring, his only object in life for the next three minutes was toscore points. Consequently Trevor, sparring lightly and in rather afutile manner at first, was woken up by a stinging flush hit betweenthe eyes. After that he, too, forgot that he liked the man before him,and rushed him in all directions. There was no doubt as to who wouldhave won if it had been a competition. Trevor's guard was of the mostrudimentary order, and O'Hara got through when and how he liked. Butthough he took a good deal, he also gave a good deal, and O'Haraconfessed himself not altogether sorry when Moriarty called "Time".

  "Man," he said regretfully, "why ever did ye not take up boxing before?Ye'd have made a splendid middle-weight."

  "Well, have I a chance, do you
think?" inquired Trevor.

  "Ye might do it with luck," said O'Hara, very doubtfully. "But," headded, "I'm afraid ye've not much chance."

  And with this poor encouragement from his trainer and sparring-partner,Trevor was forced to be content.

 

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