My heart hurt for him. “And that bothered you.”
He gripped the fire poker tight enough that his knuckles turned white. Looking into the dancing flames, he said, “I see how happy all you married people are. I just want that, too.”
“But you and Murphy are happy, Jared. As happy as any of us can be.” I was probably the worst one to talk to about relationships. I’d almost severed mine and Mark’s before it ever got started.
He nodded. “It’s not just happiness. It’s everything that goes with it.”
Curiosity pushed me to ask, “What is it you think you’re missing out on?”
He looked at me with his soul in his eyes. “I want to be able to call her my wife. I want to hear her call me her husband. It feels like I’ve waited my entire life for her. Like she was the reason I never settled down with anyone from high school, or even thought about dating any of them. I’d been waiting for her.”
My eyes teared a little hearing him say that. Jared the jackass had the soul of a romantic. “Did you tell her that?”
A log rolled, scattering sparks into the air. We tipped our heads back to watch them rise before he answered.
“Do you think she’d want to hear about the girls I’ve turned down? Would you in her shoes?” he asked.
I chuckled. “No, I don’t think I would.”
He smiled at that. “Didn’t think so. Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about it. Wondering if maybe I didn’t do it right. Proposing, I mean. Or if maybe I caught her at a bad time. It was right around the time that everything was going down with Ella and Josh. Maybe somewhere in the back of her mind, Ella’s situation made her question things. Ella had thought she was in love with Trent. They got married, and then the next thing you know, he’s dead. Then he’s not dead, and he’s trying to kidnap her and kill everyone else.”
“That’s a lot of thinking she would have done over a situation that is nothing like yours,” I said, worried he’d put a little too much thought into something that was nothing like his and Murphy’s situation.
“But what if she married me and something happened to me? Do you think that could be why she doesn’t want to get married?” he asked.
“Maybe she’s happy with the way things are. Not everyone has the driving need to be married,” I answered, looking into the glowing embers of the log in front of me, wishing it could give me some words of wisdom instead of me winging it.
“Like Aiden and Airen? Or even Nova and Eli?” he asked.
“Well, Aiden and Airen for sure. Nova and Eli are just getting to really know one another. Not all relationships work out. And not many people marry someone they hardly know. It happens, but not very often. Hell, you could know someone forever, marry them, and then be divorced before you’ve celebrated your second anniversary. Or you could be one of those who dove in, said I do, and make it last a lifetime. Everyone is different. What I can tell you is to respect her feelings on it. One day, she may change her mind and surprise you.”
He settled back, kicked his feet out in front of him, and crossed them at the ankle. “That’s where the whole, ‘I think I screwed up’ part comes into play.”
“What did you do?” I asked, wondering how fast I could do damage control if it were needed.
He dug into his jacket pocket, hauled out a box, and then tossed it to me. It wasn’t a standard box, more like something that would hold a necklace. The hinge creaked when I opened it, and my jaw just about hit the ground. “You bought the whole wedding set?”
He nodded. “I had the ring I’d proposed with in my jacket when we went shopping today. Long story short, I had a moment of weakness, and a paralyzing thought all in one. I couldn’t keep the ring she’d said no with. And really, it was torture keeping it so close to me and knowing she’d never wear it. And then, what if she did say yes? Was I supposed to give her the same jinxed ring and, in turn, jinx our marriage? So I—”
“Panicked and sold it only to turn around and buy even more jewelry that might have the same shelf life?” I snapped my mouth closed and shook my head. “Sorry, Jared, I really didn’t mean for it to sound cruel.”
“I told you that I thought I screwed up,” he said, holding his hand out.
I snapped the box closed and tossed it back to him. “Well, for what it’s worth, they’re beautiful. How in the hell did you manage to find jewelry, let alone matching jewelry, with music notes incorporated in them?” I asked.
He blushed.
“You had these made. Didn’t you?” Damn.
He tucked the box inside his jacket. “Guilty. I sent drawings to a local jeweler before I bought the other ring, but he’d sold the company right after I sent them. The guy who bought it from him stumbled on my drawings. I guess the owner left them on the desk when he handed over the keys. Anyway, they guy made them and then contacted me last month wanting to know if I was still interested in buying them. I asked him if he could give me time to think about it. I’d pushed it to the back of my mind with everything that happened with Eli, and, well, he probably thought I was putting him off. They were in the case when we checked out the store. When I saw them, I whipped out my credit card. The guy saw the first ring and asked me what I was doing with it. I guess he had someone he knew who was looking for that particular style.”
He shrugged. “Long story short, I got the set, and he got the solitaire.”
“Why music notes? I mean, other than the obvious,” I asked.
He pulled his feet back from the fire. Settling his arms on his legs, he brought the tips of his fingers together as he bounced one knee. “Music was everything for me, until it wasn’t. Murphy witnessed the rise and fall of it. And through everything… everything. She was my balance. My harmony when I no longer had music.”
The full impact of his words slammed into me. Jared loved her more than anything else in the world. And he loved her deeply.
“Oh, shit, Paige. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry,” he said, wincing when I brushed my hands along my cheeks and found them both wet.
I waved off his concern and took a second to get my thoughts in order. “Jared, did you say that to her? Did you tell her what you just told me?”
He ducked his head. “No. I just told her how much I wanted her to be my wife, and that I couldn’t imagine life without her. I gave her a man’s words, because I thought that’s what she wanted to hear.”
I swallowed a sigh. “A man’s words are the words that come from his heart. You’ve never been one to do or say anything like anyone else, so why start now?”
“But how could she have taken me seriously that way?” he asked, getting up to put another log on the fire.
“Why wouldn’t she?” I asked, forcing myself to see how much we'd all been truly affected since our lives had shifted into a whole new world.
“The guilt eats me alive if I think about it too much. How, because of me, our lives are not what they should have been. Had it not been for me…” He hissed a curse under his breath.
“Look at me, Jared.” I waited until his eyes met mine. “No one blames you. No one will ever blame you. So our lives took a turn, so what? Life does that, and there isn’t a damn thing anyone can do to stop it, unless they decide to stop living. We’re all together again. How can that be wrong?”
He looked as though he wanted to argue the point with me, but didn't know what to say.
“I’m serious. For years, Riley was the glue that held everyone together, but you know something? You’ve been the backbone. And I don’t think any of us have realized it. Hell, I just realized it.”
From over Jared’s shoulder, I saw the door open. Murphy stepped out, clutching her arms. After seeing us, she started in our direction. “That’s my cue,” I said, getting up.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“To give Murphy her jacket so she doesn’t freeze her ass off out here,” I said, stopping to put my hand on his shoulder. “You’re a good man, Jared. Give it time. She loves you.
You love her. The rest will come when it comes.”
He squeezed my hand and then let go. “Thanks, Doc.”
I left Jared staring at the fire and jogged over to Murphy, taking off her jacket and handing it to her. “Sorry I borrowed it without asking, but I kept it nice and warm for you.”
The chill struck me instantly. I shifted one foot to the other, almost dancing in place to keep warm.
“No big deal. Everything okay?” she asked, chin jutting in Jared’s direction.
I smiled and went to answer, but bit my lip when my teeth tried to chatter their way out of my head. Instead, I ended up slapping my hand to my cheek. “Nng.”
“You better get inside before you turn into an ice sculpture,” Murphy said, darting around me and making a beeline for the fire.
Chapter 7
Aiden
“And what are you two over here plotting about?” I asked, leaning my arms on the back of the couch and sticking my head between Airen and Nova.
“We aren’t plotting. We’re trying to pick out a Christmas movie,” Airen answered, tipping her head back for a kiss.
I obliged her and then launched myself over the back of the couch. Landing beside her with a bounce, I grabbed the phone.
“Hey!”
“Hey, nothing. You’re looking in the wrong place for the right Christmas movie to watch,” I said.
“Oh, aye, and what movie might that be?” she asked, settling into the crook of my arm.
“You’ll see. Will you hand me the remote, Nova?” I asked.
“Ye have a lot of cheek, shoving yer way into our girl time,” Airen said, jabbing me in the gut.
“I’m not cooking tonight,” Riley announced from the top of the stairs.
“Tell ‘em, Riles,” I said as Nova handed the remote to me.
“Just for that, you can cook,” she said, grumbling as she crossed the room and sat down on the opposite couch. She’d come prepared with blanket and pillow, already in pajamas.
“Ye look comfortable,” Airen said, plucking at the pair of jeans she wore.
“I am. And I’m warm, too,” Riley answered, stuffing the pillow behind her head. “So, what are we watching?”
“The best Christmas movie of all time,” I answered, bringing up the menu on the TV.
“I think Riley’s got the right of it. I’ll be back,” Airen said. “Come on then, Nova. It’s a Christmas movie pajama party.”
I smirked. “What if you don’t wear pajamas?”
Airen gave me a glare. “Very funny.”
“I thought so,” I said, winking at her.
“Don’t start the movie until we come back,” she said. She dashed off, leaving Nova to follow.
“Not the pajama-party type?” I asked, watching her battle some sort of internal decision.
“I… uh…”
“It’s Christmas. We’re on a mini-vacation. Jeans are optional. And believe me, once Paige and Murphy wander in, they’ll be up the stairs to change, too,” Riley said.
The door flew open, and Paige came in on a burst of wind. “Oh my God, it’s cold out there.”
“Fuzzy pants and Christmas movies,” Riley called out, lifting her hand up with a wave.
“You had me at fuzzy pants,” she said, shoving her hands into her armpits.
“Where’s Murphy and Jared?” I asked, moving to the corner of the couch and settling in as I scrolled through the movie selection. I could have easily typed in the title, but scrolling killed time until Airen was back.
“Outside. Don’t hold the movie for them, though. Jared has a fire going, so you know he’ll be out there for a little while,” Paige answered.
“Go change. We’ll wait,” Riley said.
Paige took off, and Nova followed quietly behind her.
“I think we intimidate her,” Riley said, rolling just enough to peek past the arm of the couch to look at me.
“You think so? I just thought she was quiet like Eli, but I guess I can see how she’d be intimidated. We’re all pretty opinionated, and we don’t hold back,” I answered.
I wasn’t going to worry about how Nova fit into the group. She’d figure out her place without any help from us. As far as I was concerned, she’d been a part of us since Alaska. She hadn’t shied away from anything we threw at her. And that told me she’d be just fine.
“Opinionated. That’s one way of saying it.” Riley mumbled. “Hey, what the hell is that?” she asked, pointing at the TV.
“A movie,” I answered.
“That is not a Christmas movie,” she argued.
“I beg to differ. Not only is it a Christmas movie, it is the Christmas movie,” I insisted.
“We’re watching Die Hard?” Nova asked.
She hadn’t made a sound coming back down the stairs, and I wondered how much of our conversation she’d heard.
“Don’t tell me you’re gonna protest, too?” I groaned.
“Actually,” she said, moving to the other end of the couch and sitting. “I was going to say that Noni loved that movie. We always watched it at Christmas.”
She’d changed into a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and a long-sleeved Henley shirt. “You look like a lumberjack,” I said, and instantly wanted to recall it until Nova laughed.
“Ass,” Riley muttered. “And who the hell said you could pick the movie anyway?”
“Since we’re two to one right now, you really have no say,” I answered. “Where’s Ace? He’d back me on this, too.”
“Wrapping presents, and he’s going to stay out of it if he knows what’s good for him. You really want to watch that movie, Nova?” Riley asked.
Nova darted a look between Riley and me before shrugging. “I don’t mind, I actually like the movie.”
“Yippie ki yay, motherf-”
“Aiden Joseph Jacobson, if you finish that sentence…”
“Sorry, Mom,” I said, laughing.
Riley flipped me off and punched her pillow before settling back down.
There was a snort from the other end of the couch. And then another. All of a sudden, Nova busted out laughing.
Riley sat up, gave me an odd look, and then smiled. “I think we broke her.”
“Told ya she’d figure it out,” I answered before turning on Nova. “And what’s so funny, missy?”
She clapped a hand over her mouth, but the laughter didn’t subside. In fact, it was catching because we couldn’t help but laugh along. And I had no idea why.
“What’s so funny?” Paige asked as she tossed Nova a throw blanket. Paige chose a seat at the other end of the couch where Riley was curled like an inchworm, and grumbling about how the laughing was hurting her.
I shook my head and clamped my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.
Paige hopped up from the couch, snatched the remote out of my hand, and hit play.
“We have to wait for Airen,” I said, trying to get the remote back.
“I’m right here, ye loon,” she said, tossing a pillow into my lap.
“Where’s Eli?” Paige asked.
“He’s finishing up some wrapping, too. He’ll be down in a bit,” Nova answered as she wiped under her eyes.
“Yo, Ace,” I shouted. “Die Hard is on.”
A door slammed, and then another. The next thing I knew, someone was shouting for Jared. The movie was paused before the opening credits.
“Can we watch the damn movie now?” I asked, getting another jab from Airen.
Riley huffed when there was a chorus of agreement. “You’re all a bunch of bloodthirsty savages.”
“Shhh!”
We couldn’t have timed it better if we’d tried.
“Can you believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve?” I asked Airen as I shut off the lamp beside the bed. I rolled over onto my side to face her.
She gave me a dreamy smile. “It’s come fast, aye?”
I brushed her hair behind her ear. “Too fast. It’ll be over before we know it, then it’s back
to Chicago and our day-to-day lives.”
She caught my hand in hers and held it. “What is it?”
Airen didn’t have to explain what she was asking me. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because for the first time in a long time, we’ve all had a chance to relax. There’s no place to be. No rush. No missions. It feels like it used to when we’d come here to hang out, only it’s different. Better, but different.”
“Nostalgia,” she said, bringing our hands under her chin. “Christmas seems to bring that with it.”
“And traditions,” I added.
“What sort of traditions do ye have?” she asked.
“The typical ones. Opening one present on Christmas Eve. Dinner with the family,” I answered.
“My auntie used to do a big breakfast on Christmas morning,” Airen said. “Maybe we can do that.”
“Sure. But I suck at cooking, so you’ll have to put me in charge of buttering the toast or something.”
She laughed. “I think we should do Christmas stockings for everyone.”
“You mean, you and I do them for everyone?” I asked.
She nodded. “Isn’t it tradition to hang stockings?”
“We can go to the store tomorrow if you want,” I said, wondering if I’d lost my mind. Shopping on Christmas Eve? I had to have.
She picked up her head and looked over at the nightstand. “Ye mean today?”
“Do you want to open one of your gifts? I mean, it is Christmas Eve now, so…”
She popped up and pushed at me. “Aye, get on wi’ it.”
I lunged at her, and she squeaked when I pinned her to the bed. “Do you know that when you get really excited, or really mad, your accent gets heavier?”
“Did ye ken yers does as well?” she asked, moving so our bodies were perfectly aligned.
“Your present will have to wait for a few minutes,” I said, pressing her hips firmly into the mattress.
“Take yer time. I’m not going anywhere,” she answered, catching the back of my neck and pulling me down until our lips touched.
Airen was draped over my chest. She was slowly drifting off as I trailed my fingers up and down her spine. I could feel her body melting into my own, and a burst of ego zipped through me. I’d done that to her. I’d made her feel that way. I wasn’t done, though. I still wanted to give her one of her presents while it was just the two of us. And there was no better time to do it than that moment.
A Very Merry Sixmas (The Six Series Book 7) Page 7