by Daisy Styles
‘What are you doing, Sister?’ Gracie asked.
Wiping mud off her face, Shirley replied, ‘Planting some seed potatoes for Sister Mary Paul.’
Gracie smiled. ‘I see you’ve taken to wearing a pinafore,’ she giggled as Shirley rose to stretch her aching back.
‘I was washing my robes every other day until Sister Mary Paul made me wear one of her kitchen pinafores,’ Shirley chuckled. ‘It goes round me twice!’ she added, as she flapped the spare material wrapped around her small, skinny frame.
Checking her little fob watch, Shirley quickly added, ‘I’d better get back to the ward before Dora comes looking for me. See you out here at three for Ada’s exercise class,’ she called over her shoulder as she hurried away.
Diana shook her head in disbelief. ‘I thought I might spend a lot of time resting here,’ she joked. ‘I can see now that clearly isn’t the case!’
Grinning Zelda appeared from behind a row of young strawberry plants. ‘You like my garden?’ she asked proudly.
Gazing at the fertile plot Zelda had created, Diana exclaimed, ‘I don’t know how you do it.’
Zelda simply said, ‘It makes me happy, for this I am glad.’
When the time came for Sister Ada’s breathing and exercise classes, Diana joined the other residents (most vastly more pregnant than she was) out on the lawn. Lying with her eyes closed and the sun on her face, she soon relaxed as Sister Ada instructed her class on how to strengthen their muscles and control their breathing in readiness for the physical ordeal they would all have to endure very soon.
‘Come on, ladies,’ she called, clapping her hands to get the girls’ attention. ‘No drifting off!’
Some of the cheekier girls groaned good-naturedly. ‘You’re a task-master, Sister,’ one teased.
Ada smiled as she continued patiently, ‘When your body is fully relaxed, slowly inhale, and, as you do, feel the air expanding your ribcage, allowing your lungs to fill completely.’
Marie giggled. ‘Heck!’ she cried. ‘I can feel my tummy button sticking out.’
‘Concentrate on letting your navel area sink down and empty your lungs completely while preparing for the next breath,’ Ada instructed. ‘Inhale and exhale slowly and rhythmically; keep your breathing calm and steady. Well done,’ she said, as her class relaxed on the warm grass. ‘Take a breather before we repeat the exercise.’
A saucy young girl called out, ‘Is it time for a fag-break, Sister?’
‘Certainly not!’ Ada laughed. ‘It’ll ruin your breathing. When you’re ready, let’s repeat the sequence all over again. Ready? Okay, inhale, and expand your ribcage.’
At the end of the session the girls dispersed, some to the house to wait for tea; others, like Diana and Gracie, went for a stroll. As they walked back into the Home, Gracie’s bright-green eyes lingered on a Bedford van, propped up on bricks, that she had seen several times on her way back from Ada’s classes. Smiling to herself, she gave the van an affectionate pat.
‘What are you doing?’ Diana asked, as Gracie stooped to peer through the dusty windows.
‘I wonder who it belongs to?’ Gracie murmured.
‘Why? Are you thinking of borrowing it?’ Diana joked.
Gracie smiled. ‘I’d love to work on it, fix it up and get it running.’
Diana burst out laughing. ‘It’s a total wreck!’
Gracie gave a swagger. ‘I’m a bit of a grease monkey, always have been. Me and my dad used to fix up old engines. If I could get permission, I’d work on it,’ she said with a rush of excitement in her voice. ‘It’d be something to pass the time.’
Diana grimaced. ‘I’d rather you than me,’ she chuckled.
Gracie discovered through Sister Mary Paul that the van belonged to the convent, and that it had been left standing in the yard for years.
‘Waiting for a miracle,’ the old nun had laughed.
A big smile lit up Gracie’s pretty face. ‘Will you ask the Reverend Mother if I can tinker with it?’ she begged.
‘For the love of God!’ Sister Mary Paul hooted. ‘What will you do with an owd heap of a thing like that?’
Gracie gave her a wink. ‘Get it going and take you for a spin round Morecambe Bay, Sister!’
A few days later Ada, taking a brief walk in the garden, spotted Gracie’s legs poking out from underneath the Bedford van. Alarmed, she called out, ‘Gracie! Are you all right?’
Gracie wriggled and jiggled her body until she emerged with a smile on her face. ‘Never happier, Sister,’ she announced, as she sat upright and wiped her cheek with a hand smeared in thick black grease.
‘What on earth are you doing?’ Ada gasped.
‘I’ve got the Reverend Mother’s permission to play about with this old heap,’ Gracie explained.
Ada gazed at the van balanced up on piles of bricks and, like Diana before her, shook her head in disbelief. ‘Won’t it topple over and hurt you?’
‘It’s more secure than it was – I propped up the back end with a couple of boulders,’ Gracie assured her.
In professional mode Ada said firmly, ‘You’re in a delicate condition – you mustn’t go straining yourself.’ Unable to hide the smile that played about at the corners of her mouth, she added, ‘Really, Gracie! You came to Mary Vale to prepare for the birth of your baby, not to fix old cars.’
‘It’s very therapeutic,’ Gracie explained. ‘Takes my mind off things and stops me wanting to throttle the man who got me in the state I am now.’
Even under the black grease daubed all over her face, Ada could see the flush of anger that spread across Gracie’s cheeks.
‘Did he treat you badly, dear?’ she enquired gently.
Gracie tossed her long, dark-brown curls, which had come loose under the turban she’d wrapped around her head.
‘Not to start with – if anything he treated me like royalty, wined and dined me, took me out in his swanky car – it was him that taught me to drive, in fact. Unfortunately his so-called “driving lessons” led to other things.’
Ada nodded. ‘I can imagine the rest,’ she said quietly.
‘It takes two to tango,’ Gracie continued bitterly. ‘I fell for him hook, line and sinker, so I’ve only myself to blame.’
‘Is he still in the area?’ Ada asked.
Gracie gave a hard, mocking laugh. ‘No chance! As soon as he knew I was expecting, he scarpered back to London, to his wife and family, who, funnily enough, he’d never mentioned during our drives out.’ She gave a heavy sigh. ‘I suppose you’ve heard it all before?’
Ada nodded. ‘Too many times, unfortunately. Men getting what they want, then leaving the girl high and dry. It still makes me very angry, but there’s not much I can do about it, other than care for Mary Vale’s mothers and their babies.’
‘Thank God you do, Sister,’ Gracie said gratefully.
Ada gave a modest shrug. ‘Believe me, Gracie, it’s not just me: the staff are wonderful. The Reverend Mother and her entire staff are one hundred per cent supportive, and now we have a new and very good doctor. What more could we ask for?’ she finished cheerily.
A deep male voice behind her made Ada jump. ‘Did I hear my name being taken in vain?’ Dr Reid asked.
‘Heavens!’ Ada cried. ‘I didn’t see you, Doctor.’
Dr Reid chuckled as he replied, ‘You were so deep in discussion I didn’t want to disturb you – well, not until I heard my name mentioned, then I thought I should make my presence known before you said something you might regret.’
Gracie beamed. ‘I wouldn’t worry about that; Sister here was just singing your praises.’
Going as red as a beetroot, Ada said, ‘I was just saying how lucky we are to have such good and supportive staff.’
Looking her directly in the eye, Jamie responded with a warm smile. ‘That sentiment goes both ways.’
Dragging his eyes away from Ada, he turned to the old van. ‘Are you seriously working on this heap?’ he enquired.
‘I’ve just been tinkering with the crank shaft,’ Gracie told him knowledgeably. ‘I had to take the sump off to get to it. Once I’ve sorted out the main bearings, I’ll refit the sump and then hopefully lift it off the blocks.’
Jamie’s eyebrows shot up. ‘Don’t you go injuring yourself,’ he warned. ‘I can give you a hand with the heavy lifting.’
Gracie threw him her most dazzling smile. ‘Thanks, that would be great.’
Jamie gave a sheepish grin. ‘To be honest, I love old engines too. I’d be happy to work on the van when I have the time to spare,’ he volunteered.
‘The more the merrier,’ Gracie giggled. ‘I promised Sister Mary Paul that once I get it on the road, I’ll take her for a ride round Morecambe Bay.’
‘You know what they say?’ Jamie joked. ‘Never break a promise to a nun!’
Ada, who had barely said a word, listened in amazement to Jamie’s lively exchange with Gracie.
‘Really,’ she wondered, ‘is there no end to Dr Reid’s talents?’
11. Therapeutic Work
Working on the Bedford van brought a thousand memories back to Gracie: a few sweet, some not so. When Zelda and Diana came looking for her, they found her in the driver’s seat (the car having been lifted off the bricks by Jamie and the gardener) sobbing her heart out.
‘Darling, what is it?’ Zelda murmured, as she drew the weeping girl out of the car and held her in the circle of her comforting arms.
Diana hurriedly brought Gracie a glass of water from the kitchen, which Gracie gulped back; then, after taking a deep shuddering breath, she poured out her story to her friends.
‘He was a sly sod, winning me over with his good looks and his posh silver Hillman car.’
Zelda couldn’t resist a fond smile. ‘Flowers and gardens, I understand; cars, I do not.’
‘He had previously offered to take me to the pictures, the pub and the local dancehall, all of which I’d resisted, but after he dangled driving lessons before me I was like a kid after chocolate,’ Gracie confessed. ‘It was good fun to start with, even though I was a bag of nerves, panicking and stalling the car at every junction! Reggie would just smile and shake his head and we’d start off again. Once I got confident, we started going further afield. Up to Windermere, driving round the lake, laughing and chatting; we’d walk hand in hand over the hills, stopping off for tea in Grasmere, watching the sun go down over Rydal Water – it was so romantic!’ she exclaimed, as tears welled up in her eyes.
Though Gracie’s outpouring was clearly painful, her friends could see from the emotional way in which she described the events that she needed to talk about what had happened to her.
Giving them a hard, level look, Gracie continued. ‘I don’t need to tell you what came next, do I? The kissing and cuddling in lay-bys led to picnics in isolated woods. Reggie started booking us into smart hotels for fancy meals; then one weekend he registered us as Mr and Mrs Ramsden. I spent just the one night with him, but that’s, as we know, all it takes.’
Seeing Gracie’s sweet, heartbroken face, Zelda cried fiercely, ‘Meine Liebe, you must stop this work – cars bring you too many bad memories.’
Gracie gave her a tearful smile. ‘You were lucky, Zelda: your man loved you; mine certainly didn’t.’
Tears swam into Zelda’s eyes too. ‘Oh, yah, my Izaak loved me very much.’
‘Your memories, though sad, must be wonderful; mine are humiliating,’ Gracie blurted out. ‘I was a fool, seduced by a married man! How stupid do you think that makes me feel?’
Now it was Diana’s turn to point out a few hard facts. ‘Darling!’ she cried. ‘The man sounds a complete cad. He calculated you were an impressionable young girl and set about seducing you.’
A slow smile crept across Gracie’s tear-streaked face. ‘Cad!’ she laughed, savouring the word. ‘I like the sound of that.’
‘Seriously,’ Diana insisted, ‘he was an awful man who took advantage of your innocence.’
‘I shouldn’t have let him get away with it. I should’ve put up a fight, publicly shamed him with the truth, but he was off back to London before I could even think straight,’ Gracie raged.
Diana shook her head. ‘It’s too easy to berate ourselves, Gracie. I certainly shouldn’t have allowed myself to get pregnant, but I simply adore Harry. I forget about everything else when I’m with him – that’s what passion does to you.’
Zelda gave a shy smile. ‘Oh, this is true.’
‘At least you’ve got a ring on your finger!’ Gracie cried. ‘Not like me, sleeping with a married man.’
‘Mary Vale is full of girls who’ve made the same mistake,’ Diana reminded Gracie. ‘Stop beating yourself up; otherwise you’ll drive yourself mad, and no man is worth that.’
Gracie dabbed away the tears on her face, thereby adding more greasy oil to her already streaky black face. ‘Back to work!’ she declared.
‘No!’ Zelda protested hotly. ‘Forget this stupid van,’ she implored.
Gracie shook her head. ‘Don’t worry, Zelda, I feel better for talking to you two. Friends help, especially ones in the same situation. Diana’s right, no man’s worth it – I’ll make good regardless of rotten Reggie,’ she vowed.
Gracie certainly didn’t pour her heart out in the same way with Jamie, who regularly turned up to tinker with the Bedford’s old engine. Nevertheless, they did have several easy, open conversations.
‘So, what are you planning to do with this old lady if you ever get her up and running?’ he asked, as they were cleaning the greasy spark plugs.
Gracie gave him a long, sideways look. ‘Well …’ she said slowly. ‘I’ve been thinking.’
‘Oh-oh! That sounds ominous.’
Unperturbed by his teasing grin, Gracie continued, ‘Have you met Tom Arkwright, Mary Vale’s farmer?’
Jamie shook his head. ‘He takes his produce to Kendal Market every Saturday morning,’ Gracie explained. ‘He harnesses his horse to an old cart, and they set off at dawn, both of them looking worn out before they even start. If I can get this thing running, I thought I might drive Tom and his veg over to Kendal and give his old cart horse a break.’
Jamie looked impressed but a little doubtful. ‘That’s kind of you, Gracie, though he might take some persuading, if he’s set in his ways.’
‘I’ll use the horse as a lever,’ Gracie explained. ‘Poor old Captain, he seriously looks like he might drop dead on the job.’
Jamie had another thought. ‘With rationing as it is surely the farmer’s produce goes to the Home and the convent?’
Gracie shrugged. ‘He must have a bit to spare because I’ve seen him heading off into town with a couple of crates of veg. I suppose it’s a day out for him.’ Dropping her voice, Gracie added, ‘Zelda might have a bit to sell too.’
Jamie’s eyes widened. ‘Doesn’t Sister Mary Paul need it?’
Gracie shook her head. ‘At this time of the year there’s often a glut of vegetables; if they can’t be eaten or preserved, they just go off. Anyway, it might be bit of fun to take Zelda into Kendal.’
‘It’s a nice idea,’ Jamie agreed. ‘But she might be shy in public – you know how self-conscious she is about her German accent.’
‘She’s getting more of a Northern accent by the day,’ Gracie giggled. ‘She asked if I wanted a brew the other day and if she makes a bob or two, she could spend it on baby bootees!’ irrepressible Gracie chuckled.
With a plan in mind, Gracie was indefatigable in her efforts to fix the Bedford. When she was confident it was in sound working order, she informed Farmer Arkwright that she could give him a lift to Kendal Market the following Saturday.
‘Eeeh, lass, that’d be handy, ’owd Captain is knackered after yon journey to town.’
Gracie knowingly dropped a hint. ‘Petrol allowing, of course.’
Farmer Arkwright gave a low chuckle. ‘I think I might be able to lay mi hands on a drop or two of petrol I’ve been storing in the barn.’ Givi
ng her a sly wink, he tapped the side of his long nose. ‘Keep thee trap shut, else I might get arrested.’
When Gracie told Zelda of her plan to go to market, Zelda’s eyes widened incredulously.
‘Sell my produce at a market. Really?’
‘Only when you’ve got stuff to spare,’ Gracie hastily explained. ‘We don’t want Sister Mary Paul having a heart attack at the thought of you flogging off all of her spuds!’
Though she was shy at the thought of meeting strangers, it was clear to Gracie that Zelda was also excited at the prospect of a change of scenery.
‘What will the people say when they see two ladies with big tummies selling lettuces?’ she asked nervously.
Gracie shook her lustrous brunette hair. ‘We can’t be the only women in Kendal who are pregnant; there are bound to be others who are expecting.’ Glancing down at her own tummy, which had grown immensely since her arrival, Gracie added, ‘Anyway we’re not that big yet. Nothing like Annie, who’s the size of a bus,’ she giggled.
Zelda solemnly nodded. ‘I hope her baby may come soon, then she get lost! As you say.’
Gracie smiled in agreement with Gracie. ‘Aye!’ she declared. ‘The sooner we see the back of Annie the better.’
Their first excursion into Kendal was quite an event. All the produce had to be loaded into the back of the van early in the morning while the air was still cool.
‘We don’t want the sun wilting our fresh goods,’ Farmer Arkwright grinned. ‘The earlier we set off the better.’
With Zelda in the back, surrounded by crates of salad vegetables, the old farmer settled himself in the passenger seat beside Gracie, who was trying hard to conceal how nervous she was. This had all been her brainwave, based on the fact that the van was roadworthy. What if it conked out halfway to Kendal and they had to walk back to Mary Vale, leaving the produce by the roadside to rot? With her heart in her mouth Gracie put the key into the ignition and the van immediately bounced into life.
‘Hold on tight, Zelda,’ she called to her friend as they bumped their way along the drive.