by Robin Roseau
“It’s a good thing today is wash day.”
“I’m not sure it is.”
“It is now.”
We lay quietly for a while. “Ahlianna,” I finally whispered. “I love her.”
“I know,” she whispered back. “But you love easily.”
“I know.”
“Have you told her?”
“I’m afraid to.”
She nodded.
* * * *
We had one more notable conversation. It was the day before she was scheduled to return home. “I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“Oh?” I prompted.
“What’s up between Allium and Valsine.”
“Were they fighting?”
“If by ‘fighting’ you mean ‘Valsine was wearing red’, then yes, they were.”
“Permanently?” I squeaked.
“No, or at least not last summer, and I haven’t heard anything since.”
“But she belonged to Allium and I wasn’t there to see it? Not fair!” I laughed. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Valsine has belonged to everyone in the embassy but me, although I’m surprised she got Allium’s back up enough to accept a challenge. Allium is really quite careful about that.”
“Valsine comes with her own status.”
“And you and I don’t?”
“Yes, we have a different status. Allium has exactly one friend in Barrish, and we are that friend’s daughters.”
I laughed. “She has a lot of friends in Charth.”
“She does. So you don’t know anything else?”
“You seem to know more than I do. I’d bet a back scratch it was something isolated. Valsine probably goaded her, or maybe Olivia was involved.”
Ahlianna laughed. “I could see that.”
The next morning, when she left, I held it together until she disappeared.
And then I ran to my room and sobbed.
Ambassador
I negotiated two additional agreements. We gave up a little on one, but they gave back on the other. On Father’s authority, I signed both agreements myself, one after the other.
As Belolad had indicated, the third I had picked was every bit as complicated as he’d indicated. We got a start on it, but he and I, along with most of my staff, agreed the issue at hand should be handled with thorough care. And so, we started the process, but I wouldn’t remain in Dennaholst long enough to finish it.
And then, nearly a year after I had first arrived in Dennaholst, word came.
A new ambassador was coming.
I cried when I read it. I cried because I could go home, but I cried for what I would be leaving behind. And then I sat in my office, chasing everyone away, for hours.
Eventually, red-eyed, I emerged. My immediate staff was clustered together, having ignored my order to “go find something to do.” They all turned to me, and then they stood, walked to me, and offered the deepest curtsies. “Princess Darfelsa,” Talith asked. “Is there poor news?”
“No,” I said. “Get up. Nobody died.”
“We heard-”
“I know what you heard. Get up.” Slowly, they rose. And then, one after another, I offered them each a Ressaline greeting and a long hug, Mariya included. “Father has chosen a new ambassador,” I said finally.
Emotion crossed their faces. It was Terla who asked, “Are we recalled, then? We’re going home?”
“I’m going home,” I said. “All of you have the choice of remaining on my staff or staying here, but the ambassador is bringing his own key staff.”
“When do we leave?” she asked.
“Did you think we were kidding?” Selzen added.
“Am I invited?” Talith asked.
Renishta didn’t say a thing, but she stepped to my side and took my hand. That was message itself.
“The new ambassador should arrive in ten days, perhaps two weeks,” I said. “The dispatch did not indicate how large a staff he was bringing. We’ll stay as long as he needs us, but I don’t think that will be particularly long, perhaps a week or two. “We’ll keep all our existing social arrangements, but we won’t schedule new ones. He can decide what he wants to do, but if he cancels our events, it’s on his authority, not mine.”
I looked around and began crying again. But I held my arms open, and they all pressed against me, all of us hugging. “Thank you,” I said. “I was afraid you would all stay here.”
“Where you go, we go,” Terla said. “Don’t ask again.”
“What she said,” Selzen added.
I nodded. “I’ll keep my quarters for another week, but then we’re going to move me to one of the guest rooms. Make it the blue-blue room, I think. I’ll continue to work out of this office, but we’ll begin to pack everything that will leave when I do, and we’ll make sure we can make this room pristine on very short notice.”
We made plans.
* * * *
I invited myself to a council meeting. Belolad probably knew what it was about, but I don’t think he told anyone else. I simply told them a permanent ambassador was on his way, someone who held, “my father’s complete trust.”
I’d already told Flame, and I managed to not cry over it. We had a very subdued evening and extremely frantic lovemaking.
I made my tours of the Dennaholst social scene. Here and there, I invited people to visit Barrish. Alexi was at her summer home, campaigning for office, and I hadn’t seen her in several weeks, but I invited a surprised Salle to dinner. “I’ve sent a letter to your mother, but I want to tell you myself.” I gave her the news. She looked sad, and said, “You’re leaving.”
“Yes.”
“You’re the best thing that has happened to this town in years, and Mother is going to be annoyed if she doesn’t get to take you to her bed.”
I laughed. “Sorry?”
“Is Flame going with you?”
“No. It may be that she will apply suit to my mother, hoping to court me.”
“You should know: Blaze threatened me if I made the slightest effort to seduce you.”
“You’re very attractive, but you wouldn’t have succeeded.”
“Still. I thought you should know. I had halfway made up my mind when I heard a young princess was in town, and I was practically drooling when I first saw you.”
I laughed. “I wasn’t sure if I liked you, but you’ve become a friend, Salle. We’ll always have that kiss.”
She laughed. “Oh, that was a fun night, Darfelsa.”
“I was half sure you were Castia.”
“It’s not like I wore my own perfume!” she laughed.
* * * *
Flame and I spent a lot of time together. I worked hard to ready the embassy, which to some extent meant pulling my notes together. The staff handled everything else. I have one more note on that.
I was in my office when there was a knock. “Ms. Sessen,” Renishta announced.
“Of course.”
The woman slipped in. We exchanged a simple greeting, and then she took her seat. I smiled at her. She was clearly nervous, and I had no idea why, but I smiled and asked her what I could do for her.
“I can’t believe I can just come in here like this,” she said.
“And yet, look. No one is chasing you out.”
She didn’t meet my gaze at first and then said, “You were going to offer me a promotion, weren’t you?”
“I was trying it on for size,” I said. “You weren’t ready.”
“I know.” She finally looked up, but she still didn’t say anything.
“I don’t understand this, Tess,” I said. “You were so outgoing the day I arrived.”
“I was comfortable giving a tour,” she said. “Okay, I haven’t given one to someone like a princess before, but I’ve given a lot of tours.”
“I understand you’re also very good at the rest of your job,” I said. “I know some people specifically ask for you. Did I do something to make you afraid of me?”
“I’m so a
fraid of disappointing you, Princess!”
“Oh, Tess,” I said gently.
She started crying. “I ruined my chance.” I moved around the desk, and she didn’t stop me when I pulled her into my arms, both of us now on the edge of facing chairs. She cried quietly. “I ruined my chance,” she repeated. “You were offering me more opportunity than anyone will ever offer me.”
“There will be more opportunities, Tess.”
“I don’t think that’s true.” Then she clung to me before pushing away and rubbing away the tears. “I should go.”
“I don’t allow it. You’re stuck in that chair, tears or no tears, until you tell me why you’re here.”
She stared at her hands for a minute. I waited, then leaned forward and took her hands. I don’t think that’s what she wanted, but I did it, anyway.
“Tess,” I said eventually. “I’m not going to try to guess.”
“I want to go with you,” she whispered.
“I can’t hear you.” I’d heard her perfectly well.
She looked up and began to babble. “You probably don’t have anything for me to do.” She went on and on until I leaned forward and covered her lips with my fingers.
“Breathe,” I told her. “Have a little faith in me. And say it, as simply as you can.” She nodded, her eyes a little wide, and slowly I pulled my fingers away.
“I want to go with you. I don’t know what I can do for you. I know you think I’m a scared rabbit or something, but I’m smart, and I work hard. I don’t need very much.”
“You need guidance,” I said. “But I think it took courage to come in here.”
“I cried.”
“Yes, well, I’ve cried a few times in this office, too. I don’t judge someone because of a few tears.” I raised my voice. “Renishta!”
It took a moment, but the door opened. “Your Highness?”
“I need Terla, please.”
“I’ll find her.”
“Thank you.” I turned my attention back to Tess. “The ambassador will be here in a few days. We’re not sure when. I’m moving into other quarters tomorrow, so the ambassador’s suite will be well aired out and won’t smell of my perfume.”
“Or Flame Githien’s?”
“Or hers,” I said. “Does that scandalize you?”
“No.”
I paused then continued. “Tess, if you leave with me, if you join my staff, I need to count on you. I need to know if I say, ‘We’re going to…’ oh, pick somewhere. I need to know you’ll all be there with me.”
“I will.”
“Including Ressaline, if that happens.”
“What’s special about Ressaline?”
I told her. I was still telling her when Terla arrived. Renishta stayed to listen, but they both had heard it before. I finished then said, “I’m about to ask Terla a very important question, unless you’ve changed your mind.”
“What question?”
“Terla, Tess has indicated a desire to join my staff.”
“Good. Will there be anything else, Princess?”
“No, thank you. Tess?”
She began to smile. “That sounds like fun.”
“Welcome to the team,” I told her. “Renishta, she’s yours for now. Use her however you feel is appropriate. Do you mind, Terla?”
“Nope.”
“I have no end of work for you, Tess,” Renishta said. “Come along.”
We stood up together. She was ready to turn away, but I pulled her to me and hugged her tightly first.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “I won’t disappoint you again.”
“No one is perfect,” I said. “You’ll only disappoint me if you don’t trust me.”
“I do. I will.”
“Good.” I squeezed a little harder and let her go. She followed Renishta, but Terla stayed behind. “Did you have something to do with this?”
“I may have mentioned that windows were closing, but I wasn’t pointed about it,” Terla said. “Is there anyone else you want?”
“No.”
* * * *
And then the ambassador arrived.
Party
I gave up my quarters and my office. That was sad. I ensured Lord Whitedale and his wife received a proper greeting. Woods and Calico Whitedale arrived with their young daughter, Solara, and a staff of eight. I didn’t offer to double up this time, and I handed authority over the embassy staff to Lord Whitedale on his arrival. I withdrew my staff from all positions of authority and then stayed out of it. I presumed there was a little doubling up, but it wasn’t my problem.
I spent an entire day sharing the current status with Woods. In a way, he was dismissive, but not egregiously so. More, he already knew what I’d been doing. He told me he would have handled pretty much everything differently than I had, and assured me the embassy would be just fine, “Now that it’s in proper hands.”
I invited Calico to exactly one event and then vacated the embassy entirely, my staff with me. We took up temporary residence in a nearby inn.
Flame and I had one final date in Dennaholst: dinner, dancing, and then sex with wild abandon. For the first time in our relationship, I accepted an invitation to her bed instead of she to mine.
In the morning, we were both quiet. “How soon are you leaving?”
“I want to talk to you about something.”
“What’s that?”
“Alexi’s election is in two weeks.”
“Twelve days.”
“I want to be there for it. I’ve looked on a map, but I don’t even know how to get there.”
“Are you inviting me to go with you?”
“Yes.”
“Get up.”
She threw clothing at me, none of it mine, but I pulled it on anyway. Then she dragged me through the house. We barely caught Belolad on his way out the door. “Daddy,” Flame said. “We’re going to give a friend moral support in an important election.”
He didn’t argue. “It will be tight. You won’t be able to take coaches, not if you want to arrive in time.”
“I can ride hard. Can you, Flame?”
“Yes, I can ride hard.”
“You can’t stay with Alexi, Princess Darfelsa,” Belolad said. “You can go, and you can wish her your best. But you can’t campaign, and you can’t stay on her estate.”
“I know. There must be an inn.”
“No promises.”
“I’ll be heading to Barrish afterwards,” I said.
“The road to Barrish is through Dennaholst,” he said. “You’ll stay here for a few more days.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes,” Flame said. “Or I won’t help you get there, and you won’t make it in time otherwise.”
“Do you really want to challenge me?” I asked. “Do you really think Sergeant Felist can’t get me there?”
“Please?”
“Two nights.”
“Two nights,” she agreed. “We leave in an hour. Leave your staff here.”
“They may not let me.”
“Tell them to make ready for your departure.”
“Let them go along,” Belolad said. “I wonder if they can all ride.”
“If they can’t, they don’t belong on my staff,” I declared.
Yes, they could all ride.
* * * *
We made it late in the evening, two days before the election. Yes, there was an inn. No, they couldn’t accommodate us. I was prepared to camp rough, but Flame said, “Let’s go see if we can find Alexi.”
“We can’t stay with her.”
“I think she’ll be easier to find tonight than she might be tomorrow.”
“True.”
We didn’t find Alexi. On our way towards her estate, we encountered riders heading the other way. We drew closer, and they began laughing before I did.
“Good evening Salle.”
“You are full of surprises,” she rep
lied. “Mulberry, Breezy, Koko, Pine-pine, and Tim-tom, may I introduce Her Royal Highness, Princess Darfelsa Cinnabar of Flarvor.”
“What?” asked one of the women.
“And her companion, Flame Githien.”
“What?” asked the other woman.
“My pleasure,” I said, doffing my hat. “Salle, there’s no room at the inn.”
“Mother will kill all of us if we don’t all turn around and let her know you’re here.”
“I can’t stay with her.”
“Oh, please. She’ll have you settled before you can take your hat off.”
“Salle, I can’t stay with her. I have to stay out of the politics. I’m here to see the election results and perhaps attend a party afterwards.”
“There’s a party regardless, and if you aren’t there, I’ll…”
“You’ll what, exactly?”
“Do to you what a certain someone once did to Mother. She told me she told you about that.”
I laughed. Hard.
“Now, you’re clearly on your way to pay your respects to a friend, so let’s get to it.” She pulled her horse around, and we set off.
Alexi seemed surprised to see Salle. “I thought you were going out for the evening.” Then she stared before screaming, “Darfelsa!” She ran and threw her arms around me. I received an entirely inappropriate kiss, but then Flame did as well.
“You’re a naughty girl,” she said. “You didn’t tell me you were coming.”
“Yes, well,” I said.
“There’s a housing crisis,” Salle said.
“Pshaw. Plenty of room.”
“I can’t stay with you, Alexi.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“She could stay with me,” someone said. An elderly woman strode forward and eyed us all. “There would be some doubling up, but I think we can find sufficient room. Some of the beds are small.”
“Darfelsa, Flame. This is an old, old friend of the family.”
“Watch who you’re calling old!”
“Marcastie. Princess Darfelsa, Flame Githien, and the princess’s household and lovely, lovely guards. Watch out for that one.” She pointed at Renishta. “She has a thing for older women.”
“Only you, Alexi. Maybe the princess can’t stay here, but I could.”
I laughed. Alexi laughed. And then she said, “Princess, loan me your staff.”