by Dakota Krout
Alexis gave Joe a thumbs-up. “I didn’t see anything, so I think we found the usefulness of that little title. Looks like you’re the scout!”
Chapter Seven
*Pshhh*
The sound of a huge creature devolving into a pile of salt was more fun to hear than Joe would ever admit to the general populace. He would still tell them that it was fun, but he wanted to keep this level of enjoyment confined to himself and the people in the know. He looked around with a wide smile on his face, only finding a matching expression on Jaxon’s face. They high-fived and scooped the newly formed salt pile into a bag.
“Handy, tha’.” Bard nodded at the resource they were collecting. “Think a’ how many more people would be miners if tha’ were the norm for collectin’ ta goods!”
“No kidding!” Poppy agreed easily. “If I got to fight a metal contraption and it fell apart into bars of ore? I’d do that for sure! Fighting ability and nearly guaranteed profit?”
Jaxon licked his fingers with a grin. “Deadly and delicious! Excellent combination!”
“Like ‘Lexis here.” Bard drew a chuckle from the group as he pulled the Aromatic Artificer in for a kiss. When his words registered, Alexis punched him in the arm hard enough that he rubbed at the spot even while laughing.
Joe felt some salt raining on him, and he shouted even as he started to move, “From above!”
A pillar of salt crashed down where the group had stood only a few moments before, showering them in sharp particles even though they had avoided the main object. The group stood up, staring at the large cylinder in annoyance. Joe started to get closer, when his eyes widened and he fell back. “It has a health bar!”
The others scrambled further away as the edges of the pillar dropped to the sides like a discarded banana peel. They hit the ground hard enough to fall to chunks, and an enormous minotaur made entirely of salt took a step out of the object it had been entombed within. It bellowed at them; a dry, particle-laden shout. The sharp salt pinged off of Joe’s shielding, knocking off four points of durability.
Poppy was the first to react, his rapier twirling outward and punching a perfectly round but small hole in the creature’s side. “Bard, I think this guy is designed for you to hit!”
The axe-wielding man stomped forward and swung horizontally at the minotaur even as it sent a fist at Poppy. The axe hit and scored a deep line, even breaking apart the arm in multiple places. An arrow struck one of the fissures, breaking off the arm entirely and causing the minotaur to stumble. Jaxon took that chance to slam a fist into the off-balance monster’s knee, taking it down to the ground. As it landed, cracks ran along the entirety of the salty creature, and a follow-up punch caused the entire thing to break apart into coarse salt.
“Why was that so easy?” Joe wondered out loud as he walked over to help with the salt collection. “That seemed like it should have been one of the stronger monsters in the entire cave.”
“Look at your combat logs, Joe,” Poppy called out. “Pretty obvious when you look at it objectively.”
Joe pulled open the screen and took a look.
Exp: 18 (Saltataur x1)
“Oh, that was only worth eighteen experience?” Joe paused a moment and thought over that again. “If this is a level-five dungeon, that means we are really over leveled, then? I feel like that is actually a generous amount of experience.”
“I bet it is because they are ambush creatures,” Poppy offered before anyone else could react. “Since they should be harder to detect, as well as causing overly painful wounds, I bet the experience reward is balanced. We are a solid ten levels above them, right?”
Joe shrugged helplessly. “That must be it. Also, we have explored… twenty-three percent of this place. If we can clear it out, I say we claim it and get the guild to run it for us.”
“Works for me!” Jaxon poked at the fallen body before shaking his head. “No bones in these beasts. Ah well, I suppose that would have been too much to ask for.”
The group continued making their way through the dungeon, soon encountering small groups of the creatures they had fought until this point. There was one nerve-wracking moment at just about the seventy-five percent explored mark where seven pillars of salt rained down and released a small herd of Saltataurs, but having found that their weakness was simply blunt force trauma… well, that was enough for the group to easily dispatch the monsters.
The party continued onward, dedicated to clearing this place out on the first try. They got to the deepest passage of the cave system, finding that the naturally-pink walls were becoming ornamented and extravagantly carved. Joe consulted his progress meter and stopped the others, “Hey guys. I’m betting that we are closing in on the Boss of this dungeon, and I want to make sure we are all prepared to go in there. Anyone need food, water, or healing?”
Skill increased: Speech (Novice III). Sometimes asking the right questions matters.
“Feeling good over here, Joe!” Jaxon held his hands straight out in front of him and jogged in place, hitting his palms with his knees as he bounced. “Let’s go get em!”
The group walked around the last bend and came in sight of the dungeon… Bosses. Two people made entirely of salt were waiting for them. The first was a huge humanoid that—were he not made of pink salt—looked like he had just stepped out of a bodybuilder magazine. The other was a thin man that looked at them hungrily and licked his dry lips, revealing needle-sharp canines.
“Aus, it seems that we have visitors,” the thin man mentioned to the huge one.
“Indeed it does, Terry,” the giant replied happily. “I was just mentioning how bored I was yesterday!”
“Aus, we haven’t moved in over a decade,” Terry commented sharply. “Let’s just eat them and store the leftovers.”
“Salted meat…” Aus seemed to be trying to drool, but as he had no liquid in his body, this was difficult to do. It was the thought that counted.
“I think they are trying to intimidate us?” Alexis leaned toward the others, who shrugged nonchalantly. “Yeah, right there with you, guys. Let's collect our salt and get back to the guild.”
Aus glared at her, then charged across the room with a bellow of, “Meat!”
Alexis lifted her bow and fired just as the huge man twisted his charge and swung a blocky fist at Poppy, catching the Duelist off guard. The fist slammed into his face, sending the human to the floor as blood poured from multiple lacerations and a flattened nose.
“Poppy!” Joe called, watching the man bounce off the floor. Bard stepped in, his axes scoring deep lines on the salty arms of Aus. Joe tossed a Mend spell at Poppy, the water connecting and fixing the broken nose and fractured cheekbones. Still, the fighter didn't stir, and Joe realized that there must be an internal damage debuff.
The other Boss, Terry, jumped into the air and somehow morphed into a giant bat that swooped down at Jaxon. If Joe hadn't been convinced before that the man was a vampire, he was now. Jaxon crouched and deflected the attack, sending his elbow into what was normally a nerve cluster. The strike dealt damage, but as the Boss was entirely salt, there were no nerves to properly target.
Bard swung his axes again, but Aus clapped his hands and caught one of them between his palms while the other scored a deep line on his arm. Bard stumbled, his momentum thrown off by the unexpected maneuver. Aus took the opportunity to backhand the Skald, sending him flying with wounds on his face and neck that made falling into a grinder look pleasant. The huge salt-man was essentially a massive block of sandpaper, able to turn casual swipes into deep gouges.
Joe sent a globe of water at Bard, channeling mana into the spell to make it stay connected. This created a beautiful laminar flow between them—which was interrupted by Terry flying at Alexis through the unexpected obstacle and screaming. A red notification appeared in Joe’s vision, showing that it was important enough to pass through his notification settings.
Critical critical! Terry takes 4x damage! (2x from water, 2x
from holy attribute) Damage dealt: 620!
“Holy moley!” Joe whispered as Terry tried to get up. The Boss monster was struggling mightily, but his body was melting. Alexis pointed her crossbow and launched a bolt that took his head. The salty vampire fell into a puddle of goop, defeated in an instant.
“No! Terry!” Aus turned and charged at Alexis, but Joe already understood his role in this play, targeting the giant salt man and pouring water into him. Instead of healing the giant, the water caused him to start melting, slowing him considerably. He didn't take four times damage, but three hundred and ten water damage a second was enough to bring him down after only a few moments.
Exp: 110 (Aus Salt and Bat Terry). You have defeated two area Bosses in one fell swoop! Too bad you out leveled them so badly, else you would have gotten a great reward! Still, you fought against painful wounds! Constitution +1.
Quest complete: Salty Sensations. The Legends of League mines have been opened for capture by a guild or business venture! Calculating reward… 100% cleared by group. Area level greatly exceeded. Reward: Common class item box. Exp gained: 200.
Not bad! All told, Joe had gained five hundred thirty-three experience during their time in the mines. He stopped himself from digging into his stat sheet too far, knowing that his team needed his help. First off, he went over to Poppy and cast a Cleanse on him, focusing on his head. Joe grimaced as his mana began to plummet, growing more concerned by the second. He had never seen a debuff this severe, where it took nearly seven hundred mana to cure.
Status ailment cured: Brain damage, bleeding brain.
Skill increased: Mend (Student III). Finding new ways for the main branch of healing to be used results in great rewards!
Skill increased: Cleanse (Apprentice IX). You are almost great at this! Keep it up!
Woof. That explained it; seemed that Poppy was almost on his way to respawn. Yikes. His mending skill had likely been added into the attempt at healing the damage, but as it was still considered a status ailment, he had been able to fix the damage even without the proper knowledge of how to do so. Lucky.
Poppy hopped to his feet and looked around, and once more, Joe was reminded that this was a game, no matter how much it was all of their reality. “Ugh, I got penalized real hard there for not even attempting to block. I cannot believe he got the jump on me like that! A perfect critical, and I just stood there and took it to the face.”
“Phrasing,” Alexis muttered, making Bard giggle. Joe winced; the rugged Skald giggling was not in line with his mental image of the rugged, Scottish guy. “No worries, Pops, we got them.”
“You had brain damage, just so you know,” Joe mentioned casually. “Everything okay up there now?”
Poppy paused and looked at his status sheet. “Yeah… all set.”
“Good.” Joe checked their statuses and looked at the now-empty salt mine. “Shall we head back to the guild, then?”
Chapter Eight
“Welcome back, team!” Jessamyn waved at the group as they walked into the… town. Population center was a better term, as only the Pathfinder’s Hall, Guild Hall, and buildings made after the explosion were currently standing. “I took the liberty of joining the guild using Joe’s ‘add one person to the guild no questions asked’ ability as a party leader!”
“Excuse me?” Joe stopped short, his face thunderous and becoming red. “How did you even…? You had no right to…!”
Jess hurried to explain her other activities, “Also, Joe! Yes! I managed to file all the missing paperwork that the guild had been waiting on! I hope you all don't mind, but I signed the tax forms for you and got all the fines for non-payment taken care of with the explanation of the war. So, all of you got all the backpay you had been waiting on, a nice bonus from an award ‘Joe’ recommended you all for, and have a few offered quests pulled up for you all to look at!”
Joe waited a moment, gauging the proper reaction to this situation, and stepped close to her. “Never use my authority in the future for something I don't actually agree to, and where would you like your pay and a very large starting bonus to go?”
“Sorry, I just–wait.” Jess smiled at him, and Joe allowed his expression to soften into a smile as well. “Nice. Well, you’ll never have to worry about standard paperwork again.”
“For that alone, your bonus is getting larger,” Joe promised as they all started walking again. “What do you have for us in the way of quests?”
“Oh, about that. Aten wanted you to come and meet with him? Like, now.” Jess pulled out a few other notes and carefully stacked one on top. “I’m pretty sure that he wants you to work on this one.”
Reading the quest, Joe shook his head and grunted. The guild was looking for a way to rebuild the town, but the trouble was that they were paying for the work with contribution points. “I’m betting that they aren’t getting many takers, are they? Alright, let's go see Aten. This should be a trip. Hey, team? If he tries to guilt us into doing work for free or reduced cost, what do we answer with?”
Alexis answered after a long moment of awkward silence, “I think the answer you're looking for is ‘no’? Are you trying to get us to chant or something?”
“Forget it. Why is everyone so against chanting?” Joe rolled his eyes and continued skipping along at a walking pace. When they got near the new guild building, Joe smirked as he saw a team of people on the roof adding shingles to the structure. “Should have put those on the blueprint. Heh.”
They walked to a large room people were running into and out of at speed. They entered with papers, left with papers, and all of them had a harried look on their face. Joe nearly got trampled twice, and only a timely intervention by Poppy kept him from being knocked over. When they finally got through the door, they all felt out of place in the organized chaos of the workspace. Mike, the Vice Guild Leader, was standing and orchestrating movement through the area. This was vastly different from a typical or conventional office, mainly due to things needing to be physical copies with a personal signature.
When Aten saw Joe, he called for a cessation of activities, and a line instantly began to form at the door. Aten waved them forward right away, near-panic on his face. “Conversation as short as possible! Huge, unfortunate issues. Ardania is getting swamped by new people joining the world, and there are already starting to be massive issues with any supply orders at all. Thanks to your advice on the matter, we had started buying up all the rare resources that we thought we would need, but I’m sorry to say that abyssal economist convinced our buyers to skimp, not really thinking that there would be supply issues for a long time.”
“Now we are missing a bunch of basic supplies?” Joe guessed, getting a nod in reply. “What are we looking at here? Food, building material?”
“Yes,” was the only answer. “We have all sorts of rare junk that people will need for advanced gear, but there aren’t enough basics to even sustain our own people for two weeks without rationing. So, I wanted to offer a quest to our biggest problem solvers.”
Aten made a gesture, and a notification appeared in front of Joe and his entire team.
Guild Quest offered: Feed the people! With the massive influx of travelers and even more on the way, there isn’t nearly enough to go around. Find a way to sustain a population of at least 10,000 people, and put it in place. Reward: Guild contribution points. Accept? Yes / No
“Nope.” Joe waved away the message and shook his head. “There is no way that I'm taking five people on a trip to who knows where looking for… what? Trade routes? Items? There isn't even a set… what would I be looking for? And contribution points as a reward? So, find a way to feed ten thousand people in return for something with no value? Or quantification? Why don’t we just find a way into the next area?”
“The next area is still locked off, and I have it on good authority that we will be far too weak for that place.” Aten’s words brought a vision of a Goblin swinging a club at him into Joe’s mind. “Frankly, Joe, we need to
get this in place, and everyone else is still working out how to deal with their own issues. We need sustainable resources. Not everyone is taking being trapped here as well as you are. Do you really want our whole guild to starve to death over and over? Everyone is needed for their own tasks, and I think that this is something you are suited to doing.”
Joe was already shaking his head. “Nope. I’m calling bull on this. I also have a clause in our contract that lets me refuse to do something that I think is unfair, and you know it. That’s why we have this guilt trip going on. Make it worth our while, Aten. Give us details, a specific goal, and currency that matters. Otherwise, we’re just going to keep doing our own thing and rocking it. Grabbed a salt mine, by the way. One of those sustainable resource centers that the guild needs, and we’d be happy to hand it over to the guild for a cut of the proceeds.”
Aten narrowed his eyes. “I’ll double the contribution points for this quest, and I can give you two percent of whatever we get out of the salt mine. We need to supply all the people for the work, and we still need to make a profit.”
“Yes, to the salt mine, still no to the quest,” Joe returned instantly. “Double the points? Multiplying two by zero is still zero. It doesn’t even list how many points are offered, just ‘contribution points’.”
Aten rolled his eyes and seemed to be typing at thin air. “There. Ten thousand contribution points for the quest.”
“So, twenty thousand when you double the fictitious currency?” Joe innocently asked.
Aten ground his teeth and growled, “I suppose that is what it will come out to, yes.”
“Then still no, unless you have something that shows what the points are worth. Things that I could buy with them,” Joe demanded on behalf of his group.