by K. C. Crowne
“Why not?”
“I know this might sound silly, but it took me a lot to accept what I’m going to say,” she said, a tinge of sadness in her tone. “What you did to me all those years ago, Gavin? It hurt. It really fucking hurt. You were the first man I’d ever fallen in love with.” She scoffed, shaking her head as if in disbelief. “God, I feel like such a dumbass saying it now, but part of me thought back then that you and I might be something, you know? That we might graduate from high school and get married, start a family and build a life together.”
She snorted, as if looking back on the naïve girl she was with total disdain.
“Can’t believe I ever thought that – especially about a man like you.” She raised her finger, the words combined with the way she glared at me…she might as well have put an icepick through my heart.
“What you did hurt like hell. I wanted to believe it wouldn’t last, that the pain you gave me was temporary. But it’s not. And every time you put your lips on mine it comes back. My heart never recovered from the damage you caused. And this is the last time I ever put myself in a position of letting you do it again.”
She put her hand on the doorknob and glanced at me. “Goodbye, Gavin.” She pulled open the door, the cramped space filling for a moment with bright, hospital lighting. Then it shut.
I was alone in a fucking hospital supply closet with a guilty heart and an erection I could’ve smashed my way through the door with.
She was right. What’s more, Gia wasn’t a woman to open herself up like that, to expose her vulnerability so starkly. It must’ve taken a hell of a lot for her to have shared what she had.
What the hell was I supposed to do? There had to be a way to fix what I’d done, to undo the damage. Because I wasn’t about to simply let what had happened stand. I had to find the right thing to say to make her forgive me.
Either way, it was time to leave. I reached down and pinched my thigh – old trick for getting rid of an unwanted boner – and when my cock was no longer on the verge of ripping through my jeans, I opened the door and stepped out.
A nearby nurse regarded me with a curious expression, and I didn’t need to ask to know what question was on his mind.
“I swear,” I said, shaking my head in mock-disbelief. “You guys really ought to label these bathrooms better. I about took a leak in a mop bucket.”
“The words supply closet didn’t tip you off?” he asked, an eyebrow cocked.
“You know how it gets when you gotta go. Speaking of which…”
“Down the hall, near the waiting room.”
“Thanks – you’re a real lifesaver.”
He regarded me skeptically, as if knowing without a doubt something shady. He shook his head and walked away.
I didn’t need to go to the bathroom, but it was in the direction of the waiting room where Gia might be, and I wanted to see if I could catch up with her before she left. But she was gone. I stood in the waiting room for a time, glancing around as if I might catch sight of her hiding from me behind a trashcan or some such. But aside from the front desk nurse I’d spoken to, who smiled broadly as I looked in her direction, there wasn’t a familiar face to be found.
Not knowing what else to do, I turned and headed to the cafeteria. I grabbed a turkey sandwich, some chips, and a cup of coffee, taking it all and sitting by the window. The view looked out onto the distance, the sky slate grey and swirls of clouds forming around the mountain peaks.
I picked at my food, thinking about what I could say to Gia to get her to forgive me. Then it hit as surely as a brick to the temple – I had to tell her the truth about Mariah. Gia had asked about her, but I’d curtly blown off the subject. Selfishly, I hadn’t wanted to discuss something that had caused me so much pain, and I felt stupid for not understanding sooner that she needed the truth.
It would’ve been one thing if I’d simply broken up with her, told Gia that I was going off to college and didn’t know if a long-distance relationship was possible. But I’d left her for not just another woman, but a woman who’d gone out of her way to make life a living hell for Gia in high school. And the worst part? She heard about it all second-hand.
One day she was convinced she and I would be together forever; the next she found out that I’d knocked up her worst enemy and was ditching her to marry that woman.
It was fucked up, what I’d done. There was nothing else I could do. I’d have to tell her about Mariah, lay it all out for her. Once the truth was in front of her, she could decide to do with it whatever she wanted.
I was confident in my decision – determined, even, but at the core of it was a fear I couldn’t shake.
What if there was no fixing it? What if the damage had been done, and all I could do was deal with the consequences? What if I was doomed to pay for a mistake I’d made years ago?
What if Gia was lost for good?
Gia
One week from Christmas, and I was on the beach. And I wasn’t alone.
I relaxed on my towel, propped up on my arms behind me, the sun so perfectly warm on my face that it almost seemed unreal. I sipped my drink – one of those sweet, boozy things served in a sliced-in-half pineapple with a little umbrella – and gazed at the endless water before me. The waves gently lapped up onto the white sands, the water an emerald blue. No one was there but me and the man I shared the towel with.
Gavin.
“Perfect, isn’t it?” he asked, his eyes hidden behind Wayfarer sunglasses. He wore nothing but a short pair of light blue swim trunks, a red racing strip going up both of the outer thighs. His body was sun-kissed, his sculpted and toned muscles just the right hue of bronze.
I wore a white bikini, the strings tied at my hips. Being there next to him, all I could think about was taking it off.
“So perfect. Company’s not bad, either.”
I flashed him a coy smile, and Gavin grinned back at me from under those sunglasses, my reflection stretched out in the lenses.
“Not bad?” he questioned with a chuckle. “You’re out on the most gorgeous beach on the planet with the man of your dreams and all you can say is not bad. You’re a real master of understatement, you know?”
“What?” I asked, taking off my own sunglasses and tucking them into the connection of my bikini top. His eyes flicked down, and I smiled. “You want me to stand up on the beach and sing your praises or something?”
He cocked his head to the side, as if I’d just given him a brilliant idea. “That’s not a bad idea. I bet you’d get really good acoustics yelling on the open beach.”
I laughed. Gavin could be a prick, but at least he was a funny prick.
Even behind his sunglasses, I could see his eyes narrow. The corner of one side of his mouth curled, and I didn’t need to be an expert in body language to know what was on his mind. His arm wrapped around me. I let out a happy squeal as he pulled me close, his body as solid as a brick wall, but warm and inviting. I loved being pressed against him – I loved the way he held me.
“Take these off,” I said, slipping his sunglasses off and exposing his gorgeous eyes, glittering and brilliant in the sun.
“Hey now,” he said, squinting cutely. “You think you can just disrobe me like that?”
“Who’s going to stop me?” I asked with a challenging, playful smile.
“No one’s going to stop you,” he said. “But someone might decide that if you can just pull what I’m wearing off like that, then I might return the favor.”
My pussy tingled with arousal. Being in his arms never failed to make me want more. And judging by the way his cock was stiffening in his swim shorts, there was no doubt he wanted the same thing.
“Is that right?” I asked. “Well, I’m not wearing much. So you’ll have to get creative.”
“Watch me.”
He reached around my back and grabbed the string tying my bikini top together. With a quick, effortless pull, he undid the knot, the strings falling to my side. I let out a gasp of
faux surprise, my hands shooting up to my breasts and holding the top in place.
“Now,” he said, glancing down at my attempts to keep myself covered, grinning broadly. “You’re not playing fair. You took off my glasses, so I take off your top.”
“And what if I don’t want to play fair?”
The grin stayed on his face. Just being under his stare was enough to make me want to melt, to make me feel like my pussy might burst into flames right there on the spot.
“Good. Because I don’t want to play fair either.”
He put his hand on mine, moving it off. I let the other fall, and the bikini top dropped onto the towel. I was finished toying. I wanted him inside me, and I wanted him right that fucking second.
Gavin moved in close and kissed me, and I melted just as surely as the ice in my fruity little drink. We kissed more and more, the taste of his lips mingling with the taste of the beer he drank. We held each other close, the passion roiling and burning, our chests rising and falling in perfect synchronicity.
I moved my hand down to his cock, and he did the same between my thighs. The bikini bottom felt like an incredible burden, the one thing keeping me from the pleasure I craved. I grasped Gavin’s cock through his shorts, rubbing the curve of his head and sending a deep growl up from the depths of his belly. He always sounded like an animal when he was this aroused.
I loved it.
Gavin knew how to do the same for me. We kissed, the side of his finger pressing my clit through the bikini bottom. I was so turned on that the sensation was almost overwhelming. I grinded my hips into him, my head leaning on his broad shoulder and my nails digging into his back.
He moved the fabric between my legs aside, entering me with his middle and index finger. I moaned, my breath coming in sharp and hot. I pressed my thighs together hard, as if not even wanting to give him the option to stop touching me.
His fingers moved in and out, his thumb teased my clit in just the way I wanted. When the first orgasm hit, all I could do was tilt my head back and moan.
“You don’t have to be shy,” he said, his hand on the small of my back. “This beach is all ours.”
“And you’re all mine, too,” I murmured with a grin after my orgasm had calmed.
“You’re right as hell about that.”
“Then come here and give me what I want.”
Still grinning, he hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his swim shorts and pulled them down. His cock was glorious – no other way to say it. He was thick and hard and dripping just for me. I wrapped my fingers around his shaft and stroked him slowly, my eyes locked on his.
He propped himself up on his palms, letting his head hang back as I pumped his solid length. I loved touching him, loved watching him savor how good I could make him feel with nothing more than a touch.
But when he lowered his head, his eyes narrowed and burning, I could feel how badly he wanted to take control.
He quickly undid the strings of my bikini bottom, slipping it out from around me and tossing it over his shoulder into the sand.
“You know,” I said with a grin. “I’m going to have to put that back on later. You ever have sand you-know-where before?”
He was undeterred. “Then I guess we’ll just have to make this a nude beach.”
I giggled and nodded.
Gavin pounced, covering my lips and my cheeks and my neck and my breasts in kisses. And before I could react, he turned me, positioning me on all fours, my ass sticking up into the air. His palm came down firmly on my cheek, not painful, but just enough of a jolt to make things interesting. He squeezed my ass before sliding his hands to my waist and holding me how he wanted.
The head of his cock pressed against my lips, and I could sense he was teasing me with his nearness. I moaned, pressing my ass against him, begging him with my body to enter me. I spread open, his head pushing into me and filling my pussy. I fell forward, my arms folded in front of me, the intensity of his fullness making me squirm. I loved when he took me from behind, loved to simply lie there and let him pound me, make me come.
And that’s exactly what he did.
Gavin withdrew before gliding into me again, the sensation of his cock driving inside, giving me the sensation of being split in half in the best way imaginable. I glanced back, watching his powerful body work, each and every one of his shredded muscles flexing and releasing as he thrust into me.
“Oh God,” I moaned. “Just like that. Please, just like that.”
He slipped his hand into my hair, wrapping it around his wrist and holding me in place. I loved the way he held me during lovemaking, firm and delicate all at once.
Each thrust of his cock brought me closer and closer to orgasm. But just as I was at the brink, Gavin took hold of my hips once more, flipping me over onto my back and grabbing my leg, clasping it against his chest, and tunneling into me with wild abandon.
Gavin’s body worked, and upside down behind was the sea, as powerful as overwhelming as the man giving me pleasure.
The orgasm broke, crashing into my as surely as the waves crashed into the shore. Gavin’s face formed into a tight rictus of pleasure, his cock draining inside as my limbs curled up from the intensity.
I splayed out my arms and legs when I was done, Gavin grinning as he caught his breath and gazed down at me.
“What’s so damn funny?” I asked when I could speak.
“Just thinking about how much I love you.”
What? Love? In my fantasy?
Back in my apartment, my phone buzzed on the coffee table, announcing a text from Kenna to tell me she was there.
I sat up on the couch, trying to shake the last bits of sleep from my limbs. When I’d laid down for a post-lunch nap, I sure as hell hadn’t expected a dream in which the climax wasn’t, well, the climax, but instead Gavin confessing his love to me.
A knock on the front door forced me to finally sit up and stretch my arms. “Coming, coming!” I got up and headed over, opening the door.
Kenna burst into the apartment. “Hello!” she shouted, hurrying in, a laptop tucked under her arm.
“Hello to you, too.”
She didn’t look up as she hurried to the table we used as our workstation when we didn’t want to work in the smaller home office. Before sitting down, however, she pulled open the curtains to my living room, and the sunlight poured into the room. I winced, my eyes adjusting to the light. It might’ve been almost Christmas, but aside from the solid white caps of the mountain peaks in the distance, it sure didn’t look like it. There wasn’t a flake of snow on the ground. Felt like it, though – the temperature hadn’t been above freezing in the last couple of weeks.
Kenna set down her computer and opened it, dropping into the seat and pressing the power button. “Alright,” she said as she began to organize her space. “You ready to tackle this thing?”
This thing – that was a hell of a way to refer to the biggest event in our careers.
Big stuff had happened over the last few weeks since I’d last seen Gavin, since that day Annie had given birth. Namely, that we’d landed the Second Chance charity event.
The idea that the biggest event was ours was still so surreal. I remembered turning on my computer, the day after I’d broken things off with Gavin for good and seeing the email from Second Chance. I hadn’t been in the best of spirits, and despite my usual optimistic attitude, I expected nothing more than a boiler plate letter informing me that they’d decided to go with another events planning organization. After all, why would such a big charity go for a two-person operation like mine when they had their pick of whoever they wanted?
Instead, it was an email from the president himself. Evidently, they wanted to go in a slightly different direction, to go with an events organization that was, in their words, “smaller and nimbler.” As far as I could tell, that was HR-speak for “they wanted to spend less money,” but that was perfectly fine with me.
The job would take everything we had. Ken
na and I had finished our scheduled events for the first third of December. After that, we refused new bookings through to the end of the year and threw ourselves headlong into the New Year’s party of the century.
“Okay,” Kenna announced. “Got the confirmation from the Regency Room. We’re good to go.”
“Thank God,” I said, letting out a sigh. The Regency Room was one of the best venues in the region, and the president of Second Chance had stated he wanted it specifically. Hearing that we’d secured it was a load of our minds.
“Then we can go ahead with booking the rest of the staff.”
She shook her head. “A Vegas-themed event. Still can’t believe that’s what they chose.”
“Why’s that?” I asked.
“I mean, you just had a little Vegas-themed event of your own.” She cackled, then glanced at me. Just the mention of my ill-fated weekend in Vegas was enough to make my stomach turn. “Aw, shoot,” she said, reaching over and taking my hand. “Sorry, I was only joking.”
“Oh my God,” I replied, shaking my head and snapping out of my mood. “Was I being that obvious?”
“Not exactly,” she said with a smile. “You got that far away look in your eyes you always get when the subject of he-who-shall-not-be-named is brought up.”
I laughed. “Come on – he’s just an ex, not Voldemort.”
“All the same, if you want to go on a Horcrux hunt to banish him from the mortal realm once and for all, I’d be more than down.”
“I know you would.”
Kenna had been a help during the last few weeks – and not only with work. I hated to admit it, but breaking things off with Gavin had been harder on me than I’d anticipated. Kenna was taking the brunt of my moroseness caused by my personal life issues. Long story short, Kenna had handed me a tissue box on more than a few occasions. But it’d gotten better – those things always did.
“You feeling alright about it?” she asked.
“For the most part. I’m not totally ambivalent about him yet. But when Gavin comes to mind, I just want to punch him in the face more than anything else.”