by Lexi Blake
“And you’ll understand what it can be like when you get what you need.”
She had to take a deep breath because that had sounded like a promise to her. Or a challenge. All she knew was she couldn’t fake her way through this. Now that Kai had questions, he would seek answers, and if he wasn’t satisfied, she would find herself on someone’s damn therapist couch revealing all her secrets.
Or she could give him this one.
She forced herself to remain still though her heart thudded in her chest.
“I’ll teach you the knots later,” Kai said. “Watch me now. It’s important to get them tight but not too tight. You want to make sure her circulation isn’t cut off. You also want to make sure that she feels bound, that she understands there’s nowhere to go. Tell him what you like about ropes.”
Kai used the word “him” referring to Jared, but she knew that man. He was asking the question for himself. Now that he had her here, he couldn’t help but poke and prod and try to figure out what made her tick. It was part of Kai’s nature. “I like the feel of them. I like the fact that they hold me here. Sometimes, when the play is good enough, I feel like I could float away, give myself up. The ropes hold me. Metaphorically, of course. I think in a lot of ways, they keep me in the moment. When I’m bound and trussed up, I’m not thinking about how crappy my day was or what I should worry about. I’m only thinking about how the rope feels against my skin, how it holds me in like arms hugging me close.”
Even as she spoke, Kai slid the length of jute over her skin, winding it around her wrist and binding her to the bench. He was a master at this. Kai didn’t do things by half measure. He mastered them as an art form or he didn’t practice it at all. He taught a Kinbaku class here at Sanctum so she was bound quickly, the tension perfect. She sighed, her body relaxing as he tied her other wrist and moved on to her ankles.
“May I touch the ropes?” Jared asked.
There was a slight hesitation before Kai answered. “Yes, but if Kori feels uncomfortable, she’ll tell you to stop.”
Jared dropped to one knee, his gorgeous face coming into view. He reached out and touched the knots Kai had tied. His fingertips played along the curve of the rope, but he seemed careful not to touch her skin. “He’s jealous.”
The words had been whispered and it seemed Kai hadn’t heard. Jared stood up again and stepped away.
Kai wasn’t jealous. Certainly not in the way Jared intimated.
“I’m going to start with a crop.”
With Kai’s words, she braced herself for what was to come. Would he turn out to be all talk and no pain? Sometimes Doms thought they were badass when they were actually softies. It all depended on the sub. So much was subjective. Sarah thought some Doms were too rough when Kori found them to be easy on a girl. She never told them. It would be rude to tear a man or woman down that way.
Kai could be like that. He could call himself a sadist, but pain was in the eye of the beholder. Or rather in the flesh of their ass.
He flicked the crop. The sound cracked through the air, but the pain flashed and then was gone.
Damn it. He was soft.
Another three flicks. She loved the sound of the smack and then the sting that came, but he was using the flat of the crop, the leather part. It made a nice sound, but the sting was fairly ho-hum. She was sure it made other subs cry and quake in fear of his awesome cropping abilities, but she would likely take a nice nap.
He continued, laying out a pattern across her backside and thighs. He did all the right things—avoided her spine and kidneys, stuck to the fleshy parts of her body.
He was like the others. He called himself a sadist, but there was no real torture to this. There was a level of comfort in that. Kai wasn’t really her dream Dom, and that was good news because she so loved having him as a friend. She could take a deep breath and know that they weren’t truly compatible. He wasn’t the man who could drag her into the life she’d sworn never to go back to.
He continued to warm her backside as she went over all the ways finding out Kai was fooling himself about his predilections worked in her favor. She wouldn’t be so tempted by him now. She could truly find a pure, platonic friendship with her boss. After this, she wouldn’t have to avoid him and hey, if it made him feel better, she would play with him from time to time. Because this was no big deal at all.
She tried to cover her yawn and heard the whispers going on a few feet away.
Maybe she should try to eek out a couple of tears to preserve his reputation. She didn’t like the thought of all those other Doms talking about him. He wouldn’t like it either.
“So this is a nice warm-up,” Kai said behind her. “I like to use this crop because it’s not particularly stingy. When I say that what I mean is I would have to use a great deal of force to provoke a pain response.”
“I thought you were trying to provoke a pain response,” Jared replied.
Like two professors. She had to stay awake. He would be humiliated if he was the Dom who put her to sleep. Not that it hadn’t happened before. Sometimes the rhythm and the sound of flogging had been known to send her right into nappy time. It was like rain on a tin roof, the sound soothing to her soul. Not doing as much for her libido, but hey, that was okay, too.
“It is the object, but with a sub I’ve never played with before, I have to gauge her reactions. Some subs have a very low tolerance for pain. Some a very high one. If I use this crop and this force and I get a reaction, I know a little more about the submissive’s limits. Do you see how her skin is already getting pink?” Kai’s hand ran over her ass.
That felt nice, but she had to admit some of his power over her was gone. His hand felt warm on her skin, but there wasn’t the edge that had been there before, the tiny hint that any moment that hand could slap at her, come down on her flesh with power.
“Yes, but she didn’t have a reaction to it,” Jared replied. “I don’t think she found it painful at all.”
“No, I suspect she found it very frustrating. Or boring. Did you find my crop boring, Kori?” He asked the question in that oh-so-deep voice he used when he was playing or someone had seriously pissed him off.
“It was very nice, Sir.” She didn’t want to piss him off. Politeness was the way to go.
A horrible crack split the air and she had to bite back a groan because that hadn’t been a boring, sedate crop. He’d brought his hand down and smacked the shit out of her bottom. It stung and then burned, sinking into her and speeding up her blood.
“I’m going to ask you again and you should note that I have eyes and saw you yawn. Did you find my crop boring?” He enunciated each word, biting them off.
“Yes.” She wasn’t afraid of him hitting her again. There were other punishments she wouldn’t enjoy and he damn well knew it. He could untie her and make her sit for the night, watching what went on around her and forced to be silent. He could put her on the damn hamster wheel and make her run all night. There were plenty of punishments even a masochist could hate.
He smacked her again, right in the same spot, the pain shooting through her like a drug. “Yes, what?”
“Sir,” she replied, breathless. “It was boring, Master Kai.”
“Better.” His hand left her. “So now we understand that what we have is an obnoxious brat who’s lied to me in the past and very likely to all of the Doms she’s played with.”
“Hey, that’s not true.” She didn’t mean to lie. She meant to spare their feelings. Wasn’t that a good thing? Even as she thought the words she realized she might be in serious trouble because the Doms of Sanctum wouldn’t view it that way. They would view her lying as a punishable offense because by lying she’d kept them from doing their jobs, from giving her what she needed.
That was a grave offense indeed.
“She totally lied to me,” a masculine voice with a thick Cajun accent replied. “I thought she was helping me learn. Guess I was the fool there.”
Shit. Remy was
a friend. She hadn’t meant to make him feel bad. She’d simply wanted to hide for a bit longer. She couldn’t have what she needed. If she found that again, everything she’d worked so hard for would be threatened. Her independence. Her self-worth. She could fall right back into those old patterns of giving in simply to keep the peace. “I didn’t mean to lie.”
She felt a hand sink into her hair but it wasn’t soothing. He twisted his fingers and she felt the burn along her scalp. She hissed at the pain and felt her whole body respond to him. This was how she was wired. She knew some people would think she was a pervert, a complete freak, but god, this did it for her.
“You didn’t mean to lie? Tell me what you were trying to do.” All she could see of him were the tops of his boots. They were black and leather and worn. If boots could be pissed off, they were.
“I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. I swear that’s the truth, Sir.”
“Master Remy, would it have hurt your feelings if she’d told you the force you applied during scenes wasn’t enough for her?” Kai held her head off the bench, just enough to make her uncomfortable but not enough to hurt her.
The man knew exactly what he was doing. He knew the difference between a sore bottom and a hurt neck. One was treasured in her world and the other simply sucked and required a trip to the chiropractor. But Kai was holding her so she felt the bite in her scalp, knew he had all the power, and yet she was also supported.
“No, Master Kai. I would not have been offended. I would have attempted to give her what she wanted,” Remy replied. “I am rather offended that she refused to allow me to try. She obviously wasn’t afraid of me so I have to wonder why.”
“She doesn’t let anyone give her what she needs,” Mistress Jackie replied.
“In her defense, she plays a lot and always talks about how much fun she has with you guys.” Finally a friendly voice.
“Sarah, would you enjoy an evening spent scrubbing toilets while wearing an anal plug lubricated with ginger lube?” Yeah, Big Tag was a giver. “Because I can make that happen.”
“She sucks. She should be more honest with the Doms,” Sarah said quickly.
So much for solidarity.
“You will apologize to every Dom you’ve played with and lied to.” Kai gently eased her head back down. “And if I catch you lying again, you’ll be the one with the burning asshole. Jared, this is what we do with brats at Sanctum.”
She heard some movement and then felt the whoosh of air caress her skin right before something thin and hard thwacked against her flesh. A gasp made her chest pulse as pure fire licked over her backside.
“This is a cane,” Kai explained. “It’s bamboo, nice and not too flexible. It leaves a mark if you apply enough force.” He brought it down on her again, this time on her thighs. Again, she struggled for breath. “Are you bored now, Kori?”
“No, Sir.” She barely managed to get the words out of her mouth.
“Excellent, then we’re making headway.” The cane came down again and again. “Where are we on the stoplight?”
“Green.” She didn’t even hesitate. The pain was doing its job, heating her up and making her soft. Each strike of the cane lit her up and then brought her back down, sinking deeper and deeper into that soft, fuzzy place of submission.
“Now we’re getting some truth.” He kept up his punishing pace. “She didn’t take her time trying to find a way out of what she didn’t want to say.”
“Why would she lie?” Jared asked.
“That’s a good question.” The blows continued, making her ache as Kai spoke. “I suspect she didn’t want anyone here to know that she’s a naughty masochist who can’t get off without a little bite of pain. Or a big one. She hasn’t accepted her nature. Or she has and expects that no one else will.”
“I accepted my nature a long time ago,” she managed to say.
The caning stopped and suddenly Kai’s boots were in view again. He dropped to one knee, that hard hand in her hair again. “Then tell me why.”
She couldn’t tell him. It was too much. “I’m yellow now, Kai. Don’t make me safe word out over an explanation I’m not ready to give.”
“Fine.” His hand moved from her hair down, skimming over her skin until his fingertips found her breast. Kai Ferguson was touching her breast. God, he was cupping her and she couldn’t breathe. “How about I put a scenario forth and you think about it for a few days. I think the reason you didn’t mention your utterly beautiful and sexy inclinations is me. You didn’t want me to know because you were perfectly aware that I’m the only one here who can possibly give you what you need. You knew that once I found out, I wouldn’t be able to help myself because you’re the only one who can do the same for me, baby. Do you know how fucking good I feel right now? How good this makes me feel?”
He rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and twisted with a vicious bite that left her panting.
She squeezed her eyes closed because she couldn’t look at him, couldn’t see how beautiful he was. “It won’t work, Kai.”
Another nasty twist got her squirming. “It’s working right fucking now. Darling girl, your ass is up in the air and that means I can see how wet your pussy is. Tell me some other Dom here got you wet and ready.”
“You know I can’t.” She tugged at her restraints, but they didn’t move. The rope rubbed across her skin, keeping her here with him. She couldn’t run, and she had to admit she didn’t want to. She wanted this moment with him. Her pride might make her get up and stride away but every other part of her begged for what she’d denied herself for so long. He was the only man here who could give her what she needed. It wasn’t about who hit the hardest. Any of those other Doms could have adequately provided her with pain. She needed more. She needed connection, the ebb and flow of pain and pleasure coming from a man who was there with her.
Her dark shadow lover. Kai.
“I’m not the exhibitionist you are,” Kai admitted. “And that’s the only reason I’m not fucking you right now, but we’re going to have a long discussion in the morning about the way this needs to go. For tonight, I’m going to start the process that will allow you to remain friends with all those people you lied to. So you are going to give me everything I want. You’re going to cry for me. You’re going to let go and show them that you’ll cry for me.”
She shook her head. “You’re asking too much.”
“It’s cry or come, baby. One or the other, unless you want to find yourself in Big Tag’s office. Let me show him I can handle you.”
“I can’t. I haven’t done either in a very long time.” She hadn’t cried since leaving LA. She couldn’t. Wouldn’t. She hadn’t come either. Not a man-given orgasm. Her mind worked overtime. He wasn’t joking about getting called into Big Tag’s office. Whatever punishment Kai could come up with—nothing would touch Big Tag’s disapproval. They were all mad at her. It was enough to make her want to run away again.
Except it wasn’t that they wanted to see her humiliated. This punishment wasn’t about hurting her. It was about this group of people knowing that someone among them could take care of her. When she looked at it like that, it didn’t seem like punishment at all. It was about the Dominants giving a shit.
Morgan hadn’t cared when she’d lied to him. All he’d wanted was the next bit of work from her. After a while, he hadn’t cared about her finding subspace or her pent-up sexuality. He’d doled out the pain like it was bait for his trap. He would give her enough to ensure she stayed around and did what he needed her to do.
This wasn’t the same thing at all.
“I don’t want to cry in front of anyone, Kai.”
“Then let me show them you can let go in another way.” His deep voice was a wave of seduction, wrapping her up as securely as the bindings on her limbs.
If she gave them a little, they might forgive her. It didn’t mean she was giving up everything. It didn’t mean things between her and Kai needed to change. Tomorrow,
they could go right back to the way it always was. Maybe this was a good thing. She could be more honest with her play partners. She could get an edge of what she needed from them.
Because she couldn’t do this again with Kai. Kai was too dangerous.
“Yes. But this doesn’t mean anything.” She couldn’t let it mean something.
“Like I said before. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” Kai loved to talk.
She was sure he would sit her down and they would go over their feelings and come to the logical and compassionate conclusion that they would remain friends. Everything would be civil. It always was with Kai.
Except for now. Now he leaned over and she could feel him whispering in her ear. “I’m going to make you scream. I said I was doing this for their benefit and your own, but understand that when you scream, you’re doing it for me. When your pussy clamps down and your whole body shakes, no one else matters but me. They can watch all they like, but I’m the man giving you what you need.”
She felt something sharp and wicked against her earlobe. He’d bitten her, a nice little stab of pain that seemed to go straight to her pussy.
That sharp bite likely left a mark she would be able to see if she pushed her hair back. Everyone would be able to see it and everyone who knew her would know it was Master Kai’s mark.
Yeah, that did something for her, too.
The cane came down on her ass again, another volley to survive, every single stroke pushing her higher and higher. All those lovely endorphins were starting to flow, making the world seemed heightened and fuzzy all at the same time.
“So when you have a submissive who has betrayed her partners, an apology must be made,” Kai said. “An act of contrition, so to speak. I’m going to show Kori that it’s all right to let go here.”
Something shifted and she felt Kai’s finger move into place. He was touching her clitoris, the warm pad of his finger perfectly positioned.
“That doesn’t seem like punishment,” Jared said with a chuckle.
“Like I said, it’s more of an apology and a lesson. I’m not going to make it easy on her. My hand is going to remain still. If Kori wants something, she’s going to have to ask for it.” The crop struck her thighs.