by Lexi Blake
Emotion welled inside her. “But I did this. I let myself be controlled. You’re right. I wanted it easy. When I first started my relationship with Morgan, I think I wanted him to take over everything. I wanted to do nothing but write. I didn’t care that he took most of the credit because I lost myself in it. It was the first time I felt free.” Because she’d had to deal with parents who fought constantly. Because she’d thought the worst thing in the world was listening to her mom and dad fight until she’d been forced to listen to the utter silence after her father died. Those first few years in LA had been a revelation, and then she’d been forced to deal with the world she herself had made. “I let him use me. I let him take from me. I let him turn me into someone I didn’t recognize.”
Sarah’s eyes softened. “God, Kori, you grew up. That’s what happened. Stop trying to turn this into some grand drama. You grew up and you looked back and hated who you were. Every single one of us does that at some point. Forgive yourself. Stop hating yourself and stop running because you can’t outrun yourself.”
Was that what she was trying to do? Was she trying to run from who she’d been? From who she was afraid she could be again? Why had she wasted all that time when she’d known she wanted to be with Kai? Because at the end of the day, she wasn’t scared of him. She was scared of herself.
Her gut knotted and she was about to explain to Sarah what was going through her head when she heard a knock on the door. Damn it. Well, at least it saved her from having to answer some difficult questions.
Sarah frowned and stalked over to the door, peering out the peephole. “It’s Jared’s friend. Maybe he has news on Jared since you won’t call Kai to find out.”
That had been a serious point of contention between them on the ride home. Sarah had seen some of the press concerning Jared’s arrest and wanted to go over to see him. Kori had stopped her, saying they didn’t know if they would have to get through a crowd of reporters or if Jared even wanted to see them.
At least now maybe she would get some answers. Sarah opened the door and let Squirrel in.
He was shorter than Jared and likely weighed fifty pounds less, but it was obvious he worked out with his buddy. He had a wiry strength to his lean frame. “Hey, I was hoping I could talk to you. I know you’re pissed at Jared, but you have to understand.”
Sarah shut the door behind him. “You don’t have to plead his case to me.”
Kori’s cell trilled as they spoke. She looked down. God, there were ten voice mails and twenty texts from Kai. And one very angry note from Erin swearing she’d already told Ian they’d left and there would be spankings aplenty in their future. She quickly texted Erin to let her know they’d made it home all right and not to worry. And then she looked at the messages from Kai.
Please talk to me. Don’t go to bed without talking to me. I’m waiting here for my brother. I’ll be up all night.
Kori, do not believe everything you hear. Talk to me.
Baby, I’m so tired. I just want to hear your voice.
Tears blurred her vision at that one. How alone had he been? Should she have stayed despite it all? Guilt wrapped around her. He’d been there worried about his brother and she’d been warm and safe and bitching about him.
She’d been so angry at the thought that he’d helped make her safe place dangerous. She’d been angry at them all. Sanctum was the one place she could be herself. Or was it the only place she trusted herself to be herself?
“I know he’s not guilty. And I don’t care what that FBI dude says,” Sarah continued. “He wasn’t trying to hurt me. He was about to kiss me.”
“Jared was going to kiss you?” Squirrel asked.
“He put his hands on my face, not around my neck. I don’t think FBI guy could see much past his gun. He acted like he’d saved me from certain death. All he did was stop me from kissing my one true love for the first time. He’s an asshole. Why am I surrounded by assholes these days?” Sarah complained as she moved to the coffeepot.
Squirrel followed her. “So you and Jared are still tight? Even after he got arrested?”
Kori read the last text Kai had sent her just a few minutes before.
Talk to me. Please talk to me.
That didn’t sound like a man who didn’t care. Was he trying to win her back or trying to keep his secretary?
When had she gotten so damn cynical? Sarah’s words and Erin’s advice from the night before swirled around in her head. How much time did she have with Kai? Was she willing to let last night be the end? Or was she brave enough to try?
I’ll be in the office in an hour. We do need to talk. I don’t know how we move past this.
His reply pinged mere seconds after she’d sent hers. We will move past this. I love you. No matter what you heard, I love you. Let me try to explain.
Did an explanation truly matter? It suddenly struck her that she’d been making this about Kai. Yes, he’d done something underhanded. Never in the time she’d known him had he done it before. Shouldn’t she wonder why he would do it now? Why would Kai place her in danger? Why would Kai lie? What would motivate him to do that?
Love. Friendship. Brotherhood.
And what would motivate Kori to turn away from him? Fear. Self-loathing. Cynicism. Only one thing could make her stay. Faith. Faith in Kai. Faith that this time she’d chosen wisely, that this time she could love herself enough to not lose herself entirely.
I’ll be there soon. Just got home and have to deal with your brother’s friend first. As soon as I’ve figured out what he wants, I’ll be there.
Who’s there, baby? I don’t want you opening the door to anyone. Anyone.
She keyed her reply. It’s the weird one. He’s trying to find out if we saw Lena last night. Don’t be a drama queen. I’m not alone.
She put the phone down. She could hear Squirrel talking to Sarah. Naturally they were discussing Jared. She peeked into the kitchen. “I don’t suppose we have any muffins left.”
Sarah shook her head. “No, but I can mix up a batch.”
Squirrel smiled. “I love it here. We get carbs here.”
“I’ll help you in a minute. I’m going to check the laundry and see if I have anything clean to wear.” She walked out, making her way to the small laundry room. Luckily she’d done a load the day before and there was a dress hanging in there. She scooped it up after making sure it didn’t need ironing. She was going to need to look good if she was going to face Kai.
She really didn’t have a ton of time now that she thought about it. She needed to get to work and get this over with. She would listen to him this time. They would talk and get everything out in the open.
“Hey, I probably should get ready and go into work.” She pushed through the door and into the kitchen.
And stopped in her tracks. Squirrel held a knife at Sarah’s throat.
“Don’t you run. If you take another step, I swear I’ll slit her throat.”
Sarah stood still in his arms, but tears flowed down her cheeks. “Get out of here, Kori.”
Shit. They were really were going to get spanked for this.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Kori put her hands out, trying to show the creepy serial killer dude that she wasn’t a threat. Not in any way. “Let’s talk. What do you want?”
“I’m pretty sure he wants to kill me,” Sarah said, sarcasm still in her voice even in a life and death situation.
“I do. I want to kill you so bad. I thought killing Lena would quiet the voices, but it didn’t because she wasn’t the right one. I’ve been trying to figure out for a week who the right one was. He’s always got someone, you see. Jared always has. Ever since we were kids. I swear he was diddling girls when we were in fifth grade and not a fucking one of them would ever look at me. Not while he was around.” The arm he held Sarah with wasn’t empty. He had a pistol in that hand. It looked like he was ready for anything.
“Then why didn’t you leave him?” Kori wished she’d brought her ph
one with her. She was fairly certain crazy guy wouldn’t let her go back and text Kai a 911 message. So that left her with the only option she had at the moment. She had to keep him talking until she figured out how to save Sarah.
Squirrel’s arm tightened around Sarah. “I can’t leave Jared. What would he do without me? What would I do without him? This isn’t about Jared. This is about you bitches who can’t see past him.”
“He wasn’t interested in Lena.”
“No, but Lena found out. That bitch went through my shit and found all the press clippings of the murders. She was going to go to Jared and tell him I was a pervert.”
Kori wished Lena had been a little faster with her tattle telling. “He wouldn’t have believed her.”
“No, but he would have known those names. Do you know how hard I’ve worked to keep him from even thinking about those girls?”
She had to keep him talking. “Sarah hasn’t rejected you.”
“She would.” His tone dripped with disgust. “She wouldn’t let me touch her. She only wants Jared like they all want Jared. Like they all try to take him away from me.”
God, he was insane and she wasn’t sure what she could do. He was too close to the knives, and unlike Mia she didn’t tote a gun around, though now she did see the value in owning one. Just in case crazy serial killer who’s in love with his best friend and doesn’t like women turning him down decides to show up. That’s what a gun was for.
But he had given her something to work with. “You’re not thinking this through, Squirrel. Jared is going to know about this. He’s with Kai right now. You can’t pin this one on him.”
“I didn’t mean to pin Lena on him. I swear I didn’t. He’s my best friend. I can’t let him go to jail, but I can save him from one more gold-digging bitch. Now I can get rid of you and then off myself and everything will be made clean for Jared again,” he said.
“Please think about this.” She couldn’t stand here and watch Sarah die. This couldn’t be how she ended. “Sarah hadn’t even kissed him. They aren’t close.”
“I wasn’t thinking about marrying him. Actually, I was lying and I don’t find him attractive at all,” Sarah managed to wheeze.
“Liar,” Squirrel spat. “I saw how you looked at him. It’s the same way all the others looked at him. You wanted to use him like those women did when we were kids. I watched it. I saw how those old ladies would use him and he was helpless. I thought I could help him. I offered to take his place once but that bitch sneered at me and told me I could never be worth a dime. I killed her. She wasn’t my first, but she was one of the best. I loved the way she screamed. I wish I had more time with you, gorgeous. I wish I had time to show you what you missed out on. Do you know that most of the women begged me to stay with them after I showed them how good I was?”
“They weren’t begging you to rape them again, dumbass. They were trying to survive the experience,” Sarah shot back.
“Will you shut up and stop irritating him?” Sarah’s mouth was definitely going to have to go. “Squirrel, I was wrong. If you kill Sarah and then kill yourself, they’ll think Jared did all of it. They’ll think Jared was jealous that you stole his girl. That’s what the cops will believe. It’s going to be so bad for Jared in prison. He’ll probably die.”
Squirrel’s eyes went wide. “Can’t you see I did this all for him? I did this to take care of him. If only I’d had more time with Lena. I should have hidden her body. Why would they think he killed Lena?”
She needed to make him see some kind of reason. “Because the feds have been on to you for a while now. Well, not you. They think Jared did all of this, and if you don’t talk to them, he’ll go to jail.”
“He’ll get the death penalty,” Sarah corrected. “They’ll stick a needle in his arm and everything he’s done will be tainted.”
“He won’t be a hero anymore.” Kori was willing to try anything to keep this from happening.
“I think I should kill you, too. For good measure,” Squirrel said. “You’re his type, you know. You and this one. You’re exactly the type of women he adores to fuck, but Jared wouldn’t ever make it real. He wouldn’t be seen on the red carpet with a woman like you. You’re too fat. He’d be a laughingstock.”
“Then why kill her? Why kill me? He won’t ever love us. For that matter, I’m involved with his brother and Sarah was just a girl he almost kissed. We can’t hurt your place with him.” He’d done that all on his own when he’d decided to start killing women.
Squirrel stared through her. “Once he starts taking fancy roles, he’ll drop me, too. Now that he has his brother back, I don’t think he’ll need me anymore. I never wanted that fucker to come back in our lives.”
“You’re the one who slashed my tires.” He’d thought the car was Kai’s.
“I hate him. He always told Jared I wasn’t good enough for him. He’s still fucking saying it. For years he ignored Jared, and the minute he’s willing to talk, Jared dumps me with the rest of the crew. Like I was another employee. I couldn’t stand it. It eats at me. I can usually go a year or so before I really need to hurt someone, but the minute he started talking about his brother, I knew I would have to do this. I thought I could hold out, but the pressure’s too much. I can’t wait.”
“Please stop.” She could see a thin line of red on Sarah’s neck, see the pain in her friend’s eyes.
And that was when she heard the wailing of a siren. It was distant but becoming more and more distinct every second. Was it nothing more than a cop chasing down an errant driver? Would that sound rush past them and be gone again?
Or had someone known she needed help?
She caught the sight of something moving past Squirrel, just a glimpse of sandy hair darting across the kitchen window. Kai. Kai had figured it out and he’d come for her.
Soon she wouldn’t be alone. Of course, it also put Squirrel in the position of fight or flight.
She was worried about the choice he would make. He didn’t seem ready to go down alone.
“I can’t stop,” Squirrel said, his eyes going dark.
“Then take me instead,” a deep voice said. Jared walked in from the living room, his palms out, showing he had nothing in his hands. He was wearing a T-shirt and jeans, sneakers on his feet, and he looked positively haunted. His eyes took in the scene, going to that place on Sarah’s throat where the knife dug in. “Let her go and we’ll talk about this.”
She seriously doubted that. Kai was out there. He wasn’t in here and that meant something nasty was likely to happen. Kai wouldn’t wait on the police. Not if he could help it. He stepped up to the back door, apparently realizing there was no way Squirrel could see him from where he was standing. The only trouble was the door was locked.
Kai stared inside, his gaze finding hers. He put a finger to his lips, asking for her silence, but offering her hope. He wouldn’t allow this to happen. He wouldn’t let her die.
Squirrel faced off with his best friend, his arms tightening as though Sarah was a shield. His eyes had gone wild and Kori prayed the gun didn’t go off, that the knife at Sarah’s throat didn’t cut deeper. “I never meant for you to get hurt.”
Jared stepped in front of Kori, blocking her out and proving that even though he wasn’t a member of McKay-Taggart, he was definitely in the brotherhood. “How did you think killing women I liked didn’t hurt me?”
“They weren’t right for you,” Squirrel argued. “They wanted your money, your fame.”
“The girl I had a crush on in high school wanted my fame? You killed her, didn’t you? Her body is still missing, but you’re the one who took her away.”
“She was my first and I didn’t mean to kill her,” he admitted. “I only meant to scare her, but it felt so good. It was like a drug. I’d put animals down before, but it was nothing like taking her life. For once, I was the powerful one. For once in my fucking, useless, pitiful life, I was the one she looked at like a god. I didn’t do it for a long time
after that. I didn’t have to because I could remember her. But it got real bad after the TV show took off. It was like no one ever saw me. No one sees me except them and only when I’m forcing them to.”
“You’re sick, Squirrel.” Jared had paled.
“I’m not sick,” Squirrel shouted. “They’re the sick ones. They want to take and take from you and give nothing back. Can’t you see I’m your soul mate? Why does it have to be about sex? Why can’t it just be the two of us?”
Jared nodded. “It can. Let Sarah go and you can take me instead.”
“I’m going to kill myself. I’m not going to jail. I can’t stop now Jared. I need it more and more. It’s a fucking drug. I can’t go to jail.”
“I know.” Jared’s voice was so calm. “So let Sarah go and we can discuss it. You remember what you’ve always said? You said it to me that night I realized I had to leave the house because I couldn’t fuck for money anymore. I was scared and I felt so fucking alone and you said something to me.”
The knife eased off a little. “I said you’re not alone because where you go, I go.”
Jared nodded, his eyes red. “Yeah. You were the only one who stood by me, the only one who gave a shit after Mom died. Where you go, I go.”
Oh, god, he couldn’t mean that. It had to be a ruse. He couldn’t mean that he would go with him, allow Squirrel to take him out.
“Really?” Squirrel asked, his hand moving away from Sarah’s throat.
“What would I do without you?” Jared’s voice was a hushed plea.
Kori reached out, grabbing Sarah’s hand as Squirrel’s arm released her. Time seemed to speed up, the world flashing around her in rapid fire. She pulled Sarah out of the way and covered Sarah’s body as best she could. There was a crack as the door came open and Kori watched as Kai kicked his way in. The gun went off, skimming by Kori’s head, but Kai was already in motion. He tackled Squirrel and the gun went flying.
Kori sat up, tears streaming down her eyes as she started to move the both of them back. The sirens were right outside now.