by M. S. Parker
“Sure.”
I caught her giving me a concerned glance before turning and leaving, but I didn't acknowledge it. Better to focus on the work and not think about anything else. I wasn't sure how well that would work, but I was going to try.
By the end of the day, I knew exactly how well that worked. The answer was: not at all. I was in the middle of a lecture about Romeo and Juliet's first meeting when the memory of Cade saving me popped into my head. I experienced my first pang of sympathy for Heathcliff and Catherine's angst. As I lectured on Austen, I wondered how her characters would have handled my situation. Well, not the escort part, but the friendship part. The books I'd spent my life escaping into no longer offered a place to hide.
A dashing hero with a dark secret. A lie. A betrayal and a broken heart.
My life had become one of those stories.
If you asked most teenage girls if they wanted their lives to be a romance story, they'd say yes, thinking of their handsome prince and the happily ever after. The problem was, they rarely remembered all of the shit the couple goes through to get their fairy tale ending.
And, of course, it is a fairy tale. Anyone who knows anything about the original stories knows that no one wants a real fairy tale ending. They want the Disney version. After all, who wants the version of Rapunzel where the prince gets his eyes poked out? Or how about the mermaid who chooses to die rather than the kill the woman the prince truly loves? And then there is my personal favorite… sweet little Snow White who ordered a pair of red-hot iron shoes onto her stepmother's feet, forcing the woman to dance until her feet bled. Most people don't know about the wicked queen crawling out into the snow and falling down a well after the princess's wedding.
With my luck, I would get a fairy tale ending, just not the Disney one. All I had to do was look at the kind of 'princes' I attracted into my life. Ronald was a real winner. And let's not forget Steven, the bastard who'd tried to get me drunk so I'd sleep with him. That, of course, led me straight back to Cade and how he'd come swooping in like Prince Charming rescuing the damsel in distress. Then he'd turned out to be a complete fraud, and not in a romantic Aladdin sort of way either. No, this was more the twist in the story where the guy everyone thought was the hero turns out to actually be the villain. And Adelle was the hateful step-sister who instigated it all.
I swore silently as I packed up my things. The day was finally over and I'd spent most of it thinking about Cade, both good and bad. I needed to get him out of my head. He wasn't a prince. I wasn't a princess, and this sure as hell wasn't a fucking fairy tale.
Chapter 3
I was halfway to the front door of my apartment building when I realized someone was standing in front of it. I raised my head, ready to ask whoever was there to please move, and the words froze in my throat.
Cade.
“What are you doing here?” I'd intended the question to come out with anger and strength, but I heard a note of something else mingled in. A true desire to know why he was there and a hope that it was because he really cared.
“I need to speak with you.” His voice was calm and even, with none of the arrogance or flirting that had been presence the other night.
I stepped past him, telling myself to ignore the flutter in my stomach and focus on the pain in my heart. I didn't want to hear a word he had to say. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to get that I was trying to blow him off.
“Aubree, wait.”
I actually hesitated at the elevator, as if my body was programed to obey. A flare of anger went through me which gave me the strength to move. I punched the third floor button harder than necessary and hoped the doors would close before Cade could slip in. But, my bad luck held and he stepped inside just in time.
He stood on the other side of the elevator, leaning against the wall in a casual pose I was sure he'd worked on for hours, perfecting it to draw the maximum amount of attention.
“I would like the opportunity to explain.”
I refused to look at him.
“A cup of coffee. That's all I'm asking for. Give me the time it takes to drink a cup of coffee.”
I folded my arms across my chest. In the time it took the elevator to go three floors, he had managed to weaken my resolve without even a real argument. I stepped out onto my floor and felt him follow. Fine, I thought. If he wanted to explain, then I'd let him. And then I'd tell him to get the hell out.
“One cup,” I said as I unlocked my door. “That's it.”
“Thank you, Aubree.”
“I told you I go by Bree,” I snapped as I walked inside.
“And I told you I prefer Aubree.”
I scowled, but didn't argue. It didn't matter what he wanted to call me. Soon, I'd never have to hear him say my name again.
My stomach twisted at the memory of how he'd said my name, the way it had sounded when he'd asked me what I'd wanted. No, I told myself firmly. I wasn't going there.
“Take a seat,” I said, gesturing toward the worn love-seat and faded armchair that were the only two places to sit in my living room. “I'll go get the coffee started. I wouldn't want to keep you from work.”
I didn't look at him as I went into the kitchen. As eager as I was to get him out of my apartment, I took my time getting the coffeemaker going. I needed to compose myself. I couldn't let him see how much his being here upset me. He couldn't know the truth about how I felt about what had happened or any of the self-doubts it had fed into.
When I was convinced I could handle whatever was coming, or at least keep it together until he left, I went back into the living room. He was sitting at the far end of the love-seat, his arm across the back of it, his body angled so that he was facing me as soon as I entered. It looked so much like a carefully orchestrated pose that the serious expression on his face seemed out of place.
“You wanted to talk.” I sat down on the edge of the chair. “Might as well get started.”
“First, I have to apologize for what must appear like callous and deceitful behavior.”
My jaw dropped and I couldn't stop the surprise from crossing over my face. I'd thought he'd either come on Adelle's behalf or... honestly, I didn't know what to expect, but a straightforward apology hadn't been it.
Cade straightened, leaning forward so that his elbows were on his knees. “I'm not ashamed of what I do, Aubree. And I didn't intentionally hide it from you. I assumed you knew about the arrangement. Adelle never mentioned she hadn't told you.”
I laced my fingers together to keep myself from folding my arms again. I knew it was a protective gesture and I didn't want to appear weak. “Well, she didn't.”
He frowned and something flashed across his eyes, darkening them to the kind of gray that a cloud turns just before a storm. “When she contacted me, she said she was hiring a perfect date fantasy for a friend. Everything else I told you was true. How I'd asked her for some details about you, how you didn't fit what I'd pictured in my head. I didn't lie about that.”
I twisted my fingers until my knuckles turned white.
“She called me yesterday afternoon in a panic and told me the truth; that she'd surprised you and you were angry with her when you found out.” His frown deepened. “I wasn't pleased with her myself.”
That surprised me. He'd gotten paid. Why would he care what Adelle had done?
“Understand something.” His voice was firm. “I don't do surprises and I don't lie about what I am or the services I provide. Fantasies are fine. They're role-playing, but both participants are always aware of the truth of the situation.”
An idea was starting to take shape, a reasoning behind why he was offering an explanation and apology for something that hadn't been his fault. He cared about his reputation as an escort.
“I provide women with companionship when they need it, and often sex is part of that. I teach women how to pleasure themselves and their lovers, how to enjoy sex in ways they've never dreamed.”
I almost shivered at his words as th
ey flowed over my skin.
“I am not in the business of love and I don't believe in emotional attachments,” he continued. “These are things my clients always know up front, and why I generally screen them personally. For Adelle, I made an exception and I regret it now. Not the events of the night. I don't regret those, but rather the circumstances surrounding them.”
Tears burned in my eyes as a part of me died. I hadn't realized I'd been holding onto a small hope that he'd actually cared about me. I appreciated his apology, and any anger I'd felt toward him was gone now that I knew the full story. But I couldn't stop myself from thinking that maybe I'd been right before. Something was wrong with me.
“Aubree?” He gave me a puzzled look. “What's wrong?”
I shook my head, fighting back the sudden wave of emotion washing over me.
He crossed over to where I was sitting in two quick strides and crouched in front of me. “Tell me what's wrong.”
I didn't know if it was the command in his voice or maybe I needed to tell someone how I was feeling; but everything started spilling out of me.
“What's wrong with me? I mean, first my fiancée takes off with our wedding planner, then the first guy I've gone on a date with in years tries to get me drunk.” I wiped at my cheeks. “Am I so pathetic that my best friend thinks I need to pay to get laid? Is that the problem? Am I just such a lousy lay that it's a job to fuck me?”
“Stop.”
I hiccupped and looked up at Cade, surprised. He didn't sound disgusted at my outburst, but there was something hard in his eyes that told me he wasn't to be trifled with.
“I have an idea, but I need to make a call first.” He glanced toward the kitchen. “I'm going to step out and make a call. Pour us each a cup of coffee and I'll be back shortly.”
My mouth opened, then closed again. My mind was spinning. What was going on?
“Coffee, Aubree,” he said firmly.
I stood and started toward the kitchen, moving automatically. I heard my front door close as I retrieved two mugs from my cabinet. I could end this now, I knew. Go into the living room and lock the door. When he knocked, tell him I didn't want to see him again. But I didn't do any of that. I filled the mugs and went back to the living room. As hurt as I was, he hadn't been the one to do it. The least I could do would be to hear out whatever this idea of his was.
When he came back into the apartment, he looked pleased with himself. He sat back on the love-seat and took a drink of his coffee before speaking. “I spoke with Adelle.”
I stiffened. If he said he thought I should forgive her, I was going to dump my coffee in his lap. See how well he could work with a burnt dick.
“I have a proposal for you.”
I frowned.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Aubree.”
He spoke like his statement was common knowledge. There was no hint of gentleness or flirtation in his voice. He was stating a fact.
“You're not bad in bed. You're a beautiful woman and you deserve better men than those jackasses you mentioned.” He took another drink. “You just need the confidence to make everyone else see it. And I'm going to give you that.”
My eyes widened.
“I'm going to teach you everything I know. Show you everything. For however long it takes, I'm offering my services. No fake dating or anything like that. A pure learning experience.” One side of his mouth tipped up in that cocky grin I recognized. “Though an enjoyable one, I promise.”
He stopped and looked at me, his expression clearly saying he was waiting for a response.
How the hell was I supposed to respond to something like that? “I-I,” I stammered. “Thank you, Cade.” I finally managed to find words. “I appreciate the offer, but I don't do casual sex.”
He stood and grinned down at me. “Trust me, there's nothing casual about how I do sex.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, rectangular card. He held it out to me. “Like I said, this is all business, and Adelle is footing the bill.” He winked. “The least you can do is make her pay. Literally.”
I took the card. “Tempting as it is, I don't think I'll be using your services again.” I stood. “Thank you very much for coming to set things straight. I really do appreciate it.”
“But you're not interested in my offer,” Cade finished for me.
“No.” I shook my head.
“Well,” he said as he headed for the door. “If you change your mind, give me a call. There's no expiration date.”
As the door closed behind him, I looked down at the card in my hand. There was no way I was going to call him, I told myself as I carried our mugs back into the kitchen. I stuck the card under a magnet on my refrigerator.
No way at all.
Chapter 4
I tried to be insulted by Cade's proposal but, in a way, I knew it was a result of what I'd said. I was annoyed at myself for sharing such personal thoughts, but I couldn't really be angry that he'd taken what I'd said and tried to help. He hadn't acted like I was pathetic and couldn't do things on my own, only that I needed more confidence or whatever it was he offered to women. I hadn't seen any pity in his eyes at least, and for that I was grateful.
Still, I couldn't consider taking him up on it, even if it would be nice to make Adelle pay for what she'd done. By Wednesday morning, she'd called half a dozen more times, leaving voicemails each time. When I saw Mindy waiting for me in my classroom, I knew Adelle had reached out to her.
“Bree, I don't know what happened between the two of you, but you need to talk to Adelle.” She didn't even bother with a greeting or trying to ease into it. The annoyed expression on her face said that Adelle had either called her more than once or had woken her up early this morning.
“It's complicated,” I said as I unpacked my bag.
She leaned against one of the front row desks and crossed her arms. “So complicated that you're not even going to give your oldest friend a chance to explain?”
“You're my oldest friend,” I joked. She scowled at me. Apparently she wasn't in the mood for our group's way of reminding her that she was three years older than Adelle and me.
“What happened, Bree?” she asked.
I sighed. This was not a conversation I wanted to be having.
“Look, something's going on and you're obviously not talking to Adelle about it. You can't keep all this bottled up. It isn't healthy.”
I rolled my eyes. “Seriously? You're going to go all school counselor on me?”
Mindy raised an eyebrow and got that stubborn look on her face that meant she wasn't going to let this one go. She wasn't pushy about everything, but she believed that once she chose to fight a specific battle, she stuck through it to the end.
I walked around my desk to face her. “Fine. You want to know why I'm not speaking to Adelle? Here it is. The date she set me up with wasn't a date. She paid for me to get laid.”
I was satisfied to see Mindy's jaw drop. At least I didn't have to ask if she'd known. I continued, telling her all about how Cade was my mystery man and I'd gone through the entire date thinking he liked me for me. I forced myself to keep my head up and my eyes straight ahead. I hadn't done anything wrong. I didn't have anything to be ashamed of. Still, I couldn't stop the heat in my cheeks when I confessed to sleeping with Cade or the proposal he made. That was the only part of the story I wasn't entirely truthful about. By carefully choosing which piece of information I gave, I made it sound as if Cade's offer had come from wanting to help me 'get back on the horse' and not from any confessions of inadequacy on my part. I knew Mindy. If I questioned why I attracted men like that, she'd feel like she had to discuss it and try to make me feel better. I didn't want that right now. I wanted to get this done and over with so she could tell me it was okay for me to be mad at Adelle.
By the time I finished, Mindy's eyes were flashing. “I can't believe she did that!”
I went back around my desk and began setting out what I needed for my first perio
d class. “Now you know why I'm not taking her calls.”
“And then this Cade offers what, to 'teach' you?” She shook her head. “Well, you were definitely right to turn him down. You don't need to have anything to do with that.”
“My thoughts exactly.” I pushed aside the fact that I hadn't been able to stop thinking about Cade since that night. Mindy didn't need to know those details.
“But...” She hesitated.
My eyes narrowed. “But what?”
“But you and Adelle have been friends for such a long time.” She held up her hand before I could argue with her. “I'm not saying she was right, and you have every right to be pissed at her. She deserves your anger, without a doubt.” Mindy pushed her hair back from her face and I could tell she was trying to word this right. “My only concern is, after everything you two have gone through, do you really want to ruin your friendship over something like this? You know Adelle. Her heart's in the right place. It's her head that doesn't think straight.”
I knew Mindy was right. I knew Adelle wouldn’t intentionally hurt me and I knew I would eventually forgive her but today was not that day. I was still too wounded and raw right now and I didn’t want to talk to the person who had done the cutting.
“I'm not saying you have to let it go and be all sweet to her,” Mindy continued. “But I think you should at least talk to her. Let her tell you her side of things and if she truly did have your best intentions at heart, at least make an effort to understand where she was coming from.”
I frowned but didn't say anything.
“I need to get back to my classroom,” she said. “But if you need to talk some more, you know where to find me.”
I nodded but knew I'd never take her up on her offer. A part of me was annoyed that she was trying to play peacemaker, but I could understand why. She and I worked together, so we had that, but she and Adelle had a lot in common too. If Adelle and I were fighting, Mindy would be caught in the middle. No matter how angry I was at Adelle, I wasn't going to force Mindy to choose.
Unfortunately, that meant I was probably going to have to see if I could at least be civil to Adelle. I glanced at the clock. The students would be arriving soon, so I couldn't do anything about it now. I'd call Adelle at lunch and see if we could salvage things between us. After more than twenty years of friendship, it was the least I could do.