by Bella Jewel
A minute or two later, Rhett appears through the waterfall, wet and dripping, his hair stuck to his face, looking so damned perfect it only makes me hurt that much more.
He sits down beside me. “You good?”
I nod, scared that if I open my mouth, I’ll blurt it all out and cry. I’m not going to cry. No.
“You’re not tellin’ me something. What did Enzo say to you?”
“He was just asking if I like it here.”
“You’re lyin’.”
I don’t answer him.
“What did he say, Lei?”
“Nothing, Rhett.”
“Bull-fuckin’-shit.” He stands. “I’ll fuckin’ find out myself.”
“Rhett!”
He dives out of the waterfall and into the water. I scurry out quickly, jumping in and swimming to the edge. By the time I get there, Rhett is already striding towards Enzo angrily, his fists clenched. Oh shit. Enzo is going to think I went and spilled it all, but that isn’t true. I don’t want him to think I’d be so petty.
“What did you say to her?” Rhett demands, reaching is friend. “So help me, one of you fuckers better start talkin’.”
I pause, water dripping off me, and everyone stops what they’re doing to watch this unfold. There is no point in me going in there and trying to do something, it’ll only make it worse. I need to just stay here and let Rhett do his thing.
Enzo stares at Rhett, and then crosses his arms. “I told her the fuckin’ truth.”
“And what is that?”
“That she should go home and end this, because you’ll give her the flick the same way you have every other fuckin’ woman.”
“What. The. Fuck.”
Rhett’s voice is like a whip.
“I invested my time and fuckin’ money into this retreat, too. I get it, you’re pussy struck, but I’m not goin’ to sit back and let you do this with every fuckin’ group that comes through those gates. You gotta know your limits, and she doesn’t deserve to be used, she’s a good chick.”
Rhett’s fist flies out and lands hard on Enzo’s jaw. Enzo’s head whips to the side and when he jerks it back, his face is full of rage. He lunges at Rhett and the two of them go tumbling back into the dirt, fists flying, grunting as they have it out. I press my hands over my mouth, horrified that these two men are fighting because of me. I don’t want that. I never wanted that.
Madden goes storming over and takes Enzo by the shirt, hauling him up and backwards. Lake leans down and grabs hold of Rhett, jerking him back with an arm around his chest. The two men stare at each other, panting, nostrils flaring, rage not even close to being fully unleashed.
“You have no fuckin’ right to dictate my life,” Rhett roars.
“And you have no fuckin’ right to ruin this for all of us. You and I both know that after a few months, another girl will catch your eye and you’ll move on. You’ll be done. You’ll break her heart, and you’ll give us an even worse fuckin’ name than we already have. Tell me I’m fuckin’ wrong, Rhett. Tell me she’s different and I’ll back off.”
Rhett stands, panting as Lake holds onto him.
But he doesn’t say anything.
He. Doesn’t. Say. Anything.
It feels like a slap to the face, like someone reaches into my chest and rips out my heart. I want to scream from the shame alone. I reach down, hauling up my things, not bothering to take my towel or anything that’s not in my pack. I rush towards the path, embarrassed that every person here just saw Rhett agree that I’m nothing to him and he’ll get bored of me after a few months.
I run, I run until I’m out of breath, and even then, I push on a little more. I make it back to the ranch a whole lot quicker than I got to the waterfall. I go straight to my room, pull out my suitcase and start throwing my clothes into it. Tears fall down my face, tears that are filled with hurt and anger. Rhett could have told me what I was to him. He could have told me that long before I developed feelings.
He didn’t have to lie.
He didn’t have to give me false hope.
He’s crushed me into a thousand tiny pieces.
And he damn well knows it.
“YOU’RE NOT LEAVIN’.”
The sound of Rhett’s voice fills my bedroom just as I’ve finished packing and zipping my suitcase. I spin around, not having heard him come in. He’s standing in the doorway, sweat covering his body and his shirt, he must have made a hell of a run for it. I swallow down the tears, not wanting him to know just how much I let myself care about him.
“You do not get to tell me what I can and can’t do. I paid for this god damned retreat, and I’ll leave whenever the fuck I want.”
I pick up my suitcase and go to walk out of the room, but he blocks the doorway. I slam it down onto the ground and glare up at him. “Move.”
“No.”
“Fucking move, Rhett. I’m not going to have you force me to stay. I can write a review on every platform out there and ensure nobody ever comes to your stupid fucking retreat again. Do you want that?”
“You fuckin’ done?”
My hands shake, I’m so angry. I look up at him with a rage that is so close to unleashing, if he doesn’t move soon, he’s going to see all of it.
“What Enzo told you ain’t the truth.”
“Oh, do not come in here and bullshit me. You didn’t answer, you had the chance in front of everyone to correct him. and you didn’t.”
“I didn’t because I wasn’t goin’ to tell the whole fuckin’ group how I feel when I hadn’t even told you. I wasn’t goin’ to feed him any further. I wasn’t goin’ to behave like an absolute fuckin’ tool in front of all our guests.”
“Stop playing games.”
“I’m not playin’ fuckin’ games. Enzo is wrong. He was right about the other women, but he’s wrong about you. I felt different about them, never kept them around but I never had any fuckin’ intention of keepin’ them around.”
“What about Maggie then, huh? She’s a great girl, the best. There is no good reason why you’d give her up if you weren’t playing games.”
“She is a good girl, a fuckin’ great one, but she ain’t my girl, Lei. She’s not the one that fits into my world the way you do.”
I pause, taking in a deep, staggering breath.
“I’m not a player, I’ve never been a fuckin’ player. I’ve always told those girls exactly what I wanted out of them, and never once did I promise them it was serious. Enzo said what he said because he cares about all of this, not just me. He doesn’t want to see it all go to shit, and neither do I, but I’m tellin’ you the fuckin’ truth.”
“You have to understand,” I whisper. “I want to believe you, I really do, but I’m scared. If I take in everything you’re saying right now, and believe that you’re not going to give me the flick a few months down the track, then I’m risking a lot...”
“You think I’m not? Fuck, this was my first retreat and it’s been a fuckin’ shit show. You think I’d risk makin’ that worse by stringin’ you along? I care about you, fuck me, what do I have to do to prove that to you?”
I swallow, holding his eyes. “I care about you too, which is why I’m scared about getting hurt.”
“Not here to hurt you, Lei. I’m just askin’ for a chance.”
I stare at him, for so long it feels like the ground beneath me might just fall.
What’s the right choice here?
I can say no, and forever wonder if this could have been something, or I can say yes and take the biggest risk of them all...heartbreak.
“I don’t want to get hurt,” I say, my voice shaky.
He takes a step forward, reaching out and putting his hand on the side of my face, running his thumb over my lip. “If I didn’t want this, Lei, I would let you leave. I would let you walk out that door and not bother. If it were so easy for me to get women, if this is what I do, it wouldn’t bother me. I wouldn’t bother fighting for it. But if you walk out...”
/> “What?” I ask, holding his gaze.
“It’ll fuckin’ crush me.”
He pulls me forward and I let him.
Our lips collide.
And I know in that moment, he’s not lying.
No.
Rhett wants me and he’s going to do everything it takes to make sure of it.
When he scoops me up and carries me to the bed, I know this is it.
What I’ve been waiting for.
What I’ve been writing about.
He might not be a knight in shining armor, but instead a stud on a horse.
All the same, he’s going to take my breath away.
And take my heart for the keeping.
I just know it.
19
“I have to ask you something,” Kara says the next day after spending a remarkably long time in her room.
She has been acting weird since she got back yesterday, but I haven’t had the chance to talk to her. I spent the entire afternoon in the bedroom with Rhett, and then the whole night in his bedroom at the main house. I’ve only just come back to the cabin to get a bit of rest in before we go sailing this afternoon. The second I entered the house, Kara approaches me, her face tight.
“What is it?” I ask her, narrowing my eyes.
“I took photos of the boot prints yesterday, you know, like we planned...”
“And?” I ask, eyes widening.
“I matched them up.”
“Well, are you going to tell me or are you going to keep me waiting?”
My heart is racing as I watch her.
“They’re a match to your boots, Lei.”
I blink.
For a minute, I’m confused.
There is no way. There is no way in the world they’re a match for my shoes, because I wasn’t there that night. I know I wasn’t there. I know for a god damned fact.
“What?” I whisper.
“They’re a perfect match for your boots, and while you were asking me where I was that night, the fact is I wasn’t here so I can’t even say that you were...”
“You’re joking, right?” I laugh, but it’s very bitter and emotionless. “You’re my best friend, Kara. I didn’t kill Taj.”
“You were so quick to question me, so quick to jump into this investigation.”
I shake my head, feeling frustrated now, angry even. “If I killed Taj, why in the hell would I want to investigate? Don’t you think I would have just left it as an accident? You’re wrong, Kara. I didn’t do this. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, I did, and now you’re not giving me the same.”
She exhales, rubbing her hand down her face. “I just...the more I think about it, you’re the only one who makes sense. After all, he wanted to organize this whole thing and you took over. The two of you weren’t close, you like to be in control and so did he...if something happened, you could tell me. I can help you.”
I stare at her, horrified.
She thinks that about me?
Is that how I behave?
“Taj and I had a small argument about who was organizing the retreat and Emily decided it would be me. That was hardly a killing act. We might not have been close, but I barely spoke to him, Kara. And I do not like to be in control...”
“You do, Lei. I know you. I know it was probably an accident, but you need to tell me the truth.”
I shake my head, reaching down and picking up my phone. “You know what, I don’t have to listen to this. I could easily say you were just as likely, but I don’t. I believed you because you’re my best friend and I trust you. You aren’t giving me the same, after everything we’ve been through. I thought we were a whole lot closer, and you just showed me we aren’t...”
I turn and walk towards the door.
She calls out my name, but I don’t stop.
She thinks I killed Taj; my own best friend thinks I did it.
I get it, I do. I would ask the questions, but if she told me she didn’t do it, I would believe her.
She’s not giving me the same.
I think about the shoes as I walk towards the barn, desperate to get some horse time in hopes of clearing my head, because it has been a crappy few days and it feels as though it’s about to get a whole lot worse.
How the hell were my shoes a perfect match for the prints outside the barn? Does someone else have the same shoes as me? Grace? Emily? I haven’t noticed, but that doesn’t mean they don’t. If they don’t, then how the hell was it my prints at the scene? My mind spins as I try to figure out what the hell I’m missing here.
Someone is covering up, but who, and why?
Why would someone go to such great lengths to make sure this isn’t found out?
My mind is spinning, to the point I’m frustrated and angry.
I feel like the answer is right there, right in front of me, and yet I can’t seem to figure out what it is, or better yet, who it is.
Who the hell killed Taj?
I’m even more determined now to find out, because time is running short.
I sit on a big bale of hay and take handfuls of it, giving it over to Porky as he happily chews away at it. I close my eyes, going over every single thing I can think of, going right back to the start. I think of every fight, every single time something has gone wrong and yet still, I can’t seem to pinpoint someone that makes sense. I turn and glance at the horse nibbling from my fingers and exhale.
Come on, Lei.
You can do this.
“There you are,” Kara says, rushing into the barn. “Before you yell at me, I’m sorry. I guess this has been consuming me more than I would like to admit, and I was becoming a bit paranoid, but you’re right, of course it wasn’t you. I know that, deep down I do, but I guess I had to ask the question. Please don’t be angry at me.”
It clicks.
Just dawns on me as she’s talking.
I forget that she was accusing me of doing something I wasn’t, and instead focus on the part of the conversation that stood out. It has been playing on her mind, making her obsessed and it has me wondering... “Who have you told?”
She blinks, shaking her head. “What?”
“Who have you told? Someone knows we’re onto them, I’ve thought as much already, but I haven’t told anyone but you that I’m actually looking into it. Have you?”
She stares blankly at me, and then her eyes get wide.
“Who, Kara?” I ask. “Someone is making this go away, someone is trying really hard to ensure we don’t find out the truth. I wonder if that someone knows it’s us in particular that is looking into this.”
“I did tell someone, but there’s no way...”
“Who?” I say, my voice almost frantic.
She drops her head and rubs her hands down her face. “Emily.”
No.
It can’t be.
Can it?
“I FEEL LIKE THIS IS a bad idea, is this a bad idea?” Kara pants as she rushes behind me.
“She’s getting a massage right now, it’s our only chance. Come on, it’ll be fine. I just want to look, if she has that phone in her room then I’ll believe we’re on the right path. If she doesn’t then maybe we’re wrong.”
“I just don’t see why or how she’d do something like this. She loved Taj, she loves all of us, she wouldn’t hurt someone. What are we missing here?”
“That’s what we’re going to find out,” I whisper hiss as we reach the cabins.
I glance around, making sure Emily is definitely not here, and then Kara and I rush into her cabin. Kara leads me right to her room and when we try the door, it’s locked. Confused, I jiggle it again. “Why would it be locked?” I ask. “How did she even lock it?”
“It’s easy,” Kara says, going into the kitchen and coming back with a knife, she sticks the sharp end in the long slit of the door and twists it. “They’re not really security locks, more so privacy locks. They’re easy to undo if need be. Let’s go.”
We push the door open and step
inside, glancing around the room. It’s neat, and everything seems in order, so we very carefully start sifting through some of Emily’s things. We find nothing, nothing to indicate anything sinister has gone on between her and Taj. She has her clothes packed neatly, her shoes in a perfect row, nothing seems out of place. We lift things, turn things over, there is nothing in here. No phone. No evidence. Nothing.
So why was it locked?
Frustrated, we rush out of the room and close the door.
“What now?” Kara asks. “If that was Emily’s phone, then she wouldn’t have one. We could just ask to borrow her phone and see what happens?”
“That’s worth a shot, though the chances are she will come up with something if she knows we’re looking into her,” I say, shrugging. “But there must be something around. What about Taj’s stuff? Is it all gone?”
Kara nods. “Yeah, they packed it up and sent it all home with Nathan for his family.”
I exhale, frustrated, running my fingers through my hair. “We’re missing something, I just know it.”
“I feel the same, and I just sense we’re close, it feels like we’re right on top of the answer but it’s not coming to us.”
We both pause, thinking on it for a while.
“Let’s sit down, go over this, talk about it out loud. There must be something,” Kara suggests.
“Yeah, I agree,” I nod. “Let’s take a walk.”
We both put our shoes on and walk down the path that leads to the river, picking up stones and talking as we do. When we reach the beautiful water, it’s calming and it makes everything that much clearer. I sit down, taking my shoes off and putting my feet in the water, Kara does the same.
“The thing that’s getting to me the most, is that I don’t know why Emily would do it. What reason would she have to hurt Taj? They barely knew each other.”
“What if they were having some sort of affair?” I throw out there.
“No way, she’s too old. He would never go for her,” Kara scoffs.
“You don’t know that. Emily is a pretty good-looking woman, we can’t say for certain Taj wouldn’t be into that.”