by Saxon James
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Sometimes it helps to word vomit.”
“It’s a lot to get into.”
“So let’s meet for lunch?”
Again, I consider saying no, but maybe it’s time. Maybe this is the moment I grow up and get over him making a hard call that needed to be made. It’s because of him I found Elliot, and the more I think about it, the more it’s obvious I stayed with Liam out of habit.
“Yeah, okay. Let’s do it.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Taking the elevator up to the sixth floor at work is something that’s become routine over the past two years. This time though, I’m hyper aware of every second that ticks by. I was underselling my boss to Taryn, like I undersold how pissed over this he’s going to be. My boss is one of the biggest in the business, and he took a real risk by bringing me on and showing me the ropes. If it wasn’t for being partnered with his nephew in grad school, there’s no way he would have said yes. And now… now I’ve shown exactly how much of an amateur I still am.
The ding of the elevator seems too loud to my ears, but I duck my head and walk down the corridor. The office is eerily quiet—okay, good chance it’s my paranoia talking—but I swear there’s normally more people out in the halls, ducking between offices and hurrying along with coffee mugs clutched tightly in their hands.
When I finally cross into my office, I let out a massive breath of relief. I’m not in the clear yet, but the familiarity gives me a sense of security. I sit down and set up, determined to lose myself in work as quickly as possible. I’ve got to keep my head down, keep working, and this will all pass.
The first thing I do is start balancing my books from the last few days, making sure nothing is out of place and all the wins and losses have been calculated correctly. Then I start checking through team stats and forecasts, working out who’s on next week’s starting rosters and who’s injured—not that it helped in the Hawks game. The knot in my stomach tightens. I still can’t get over how easily the Cubs cleaned up in that final quarter. No matter how many times I go over the stats in my head, they don’t make sense. And I’ve been over them. Long after Taryn fell asleep the past few nights, I sat up stressing.
I’m so focused on my work that I don’t notice someone is watching me until he clears his throat. I jump, blinking for a second as my eyes focus on Gary leaning in the doorway. His shoulders strain against the jacket he’s wearing as he crosses his arms over his chest, his dark eyes staring me down.
“Gary, hey. Thanks again for giving me that time off.”
He doesn’t answer, just steps into the room and closes the door behind him. There’s something measured in the way he paces into my office, seemingly interested in the framed poster hanging on my wall. He hums once before turning toward me. “So. You enjoyed your time away.”
“It was good.”
He hums again. “You never did say where you were going.”
“Oh, up to Chatham. It’s this little town near Cape Cod.”
Maybe it’s my imagination but his eyes flex narrower for a second. “Family up there?”
“Uh… no. Went away with a friend.”
This time I’m sure his eyes narrow. His gaze slowly drops down to my computer and then back up again. “That’s very interesting.”
Interesting? Is it really? All my senses are on high alert now. Gary is acting strange. There’s no doubt about why, but I’m clueless about where he’s going with this.
“So… big win this week?”
And there it is. My mouth dries up, and I scrub my palms along my thighs as I force a perplexed smile. “Yeah, I’m as surprised as you are.”
He takes a beat to answer, silently taking me in, barely blinking. Is this his trick? Intimidate the hell out of people until they’re too terrified to fuck him over again? I’ve got to say, if this is where he got his reputation for being scary, it’s founded. And a lot better than I was picturing. This I can handle.
“Surprised…” His low voice rumbles on a laugh as he runs a hand over his face. It doesn’t escape my notice he hasn’t sat down yet. “It’s funny, Elliot. I thought you understood your job. You make me money, you’re rewarded with higher profile clients, and you advise those clients well enough to keep them coming back.”
I don’t answer, I can’t. It’s one of those situations where I’m sure anything I say will be used against me.
But he doesn’t say any more, just keeps staring and keeps waiting.
“I shouldn’t have taken the bet.”
He hums. Affirming. “And why is that, Elliot?” he asks in the same calm voice.
“Because I lost a lot of money.”
“No…” He steps forward, wide bulk cutting off the view of my door. “You lost my money!”
Any semblance of friendliness is gone, and I swear his eyes catch fire. There’s so much heat in his stare, I’m surprised I don’t piss myself.
“It won’t happen again. I promise.”
“Oh… I don’t need your promises.” His voice reminds me of a snake unfurling. “I know it won’t happen again.” He slaps something down on the desk between us, thick fingers obscuring whatever it is. My eyes dart between it and him and the savage amusement that crosses his face is the most intimidating yet. I swallow. “You need to be careful.”
Gary turns and leaves, closing the door softly behind him, and only once he’s gone do I remember to breathe again. I snatch up the photo and my stomach drops through the floor.
It’s me.
Straddling Taryn’s lap.
And there’s no way to misinterpret his hands gripping my ass.
We are so fucked.
***
I’m not sure how to tell Taryn or if I even should. It’s pretty clear to me what Gary was implying. If I fuck up again, he’s going to bring us both down. I wasn’t being paranoid when I’d told Taryn he’d be in serious shit if anyone found out what my job was, but I hadn’t realized what it would mean for me. Gary passes my office and reviews my takings every few hours, still with that stoic, eerie expression. Then there’s the little comments he drops. How it’s a coincidence I made so much money on an NFL game just as I started dating a player. What a coincidence it is that Darcy came to me for his bet. How I had barely enough there to cover the payout.
He’s always been outspoken about his stance on match fixing and if there’s any hint I’m in on something like that, I don’t doubt his ability to throw me out on my ass.
Gary doesn’t hide the fact he’s watching me, waiting for me to slip up again.
And when I leave work each day that week, I’m sure someone is following me. I avoid looking around too much, but I can feel it. The way the back of my neck breaks out in prickles as I tuck my hands into my pockets and try to walk as fast as possible.
The thing is, no one else took a bet so big on that game, and I have to admit that it does look suspicious as fuck. There’s no possible way for me to prove I didn’t have insider knowledge, and trading with that kind of knowledge… it’s a quick way to get blacklisted. Be dirty with the clients and people turn a blind eye, but with your boss? No fucking way.
I’m still at work late on Sunday night, my eyes strained from the screen and my nerves strained from the intense week. Taryn and I have barely spoken, even after all our talk of putting some effort in, and I’m aware that I’m drawing away. Not intentionally, but between working long hours and my fear of him being outed, I’m on edge. It’s killing me, but the last thing I want is for him to get caught up in this, and the fact I care more about hurting him than getting off is totally new and crazy for me.
I’d be enjoying these feelings… if they weren’t tinged with the idea that both of our careers are about to go up in flames.
I lean back in my chair, arching until my back gives a satisfying round of cracks. So far, the bets I’m looking at for next week are going well. Modest amounts, balanced li
ne, enough to play it safe and make back some of the money I lost.
My ringtone goes off, startling my heart into an extra beat at the sudden noise breaking the silence. The number is private, and I’m guarded as I answer.
“Elliot?”
The voice is vaguely recognizable. “Yes?”
“It’s Darcy. Apparently, we make quite the team.”
I let out a breath and relax back. This time, I’m not going to be so stupid. “All I did was record your bet.”
“You’re the only bookie who would.”
The slimy feeling of naivety rests on my shoulders. “Well, it was reasonably last minute for such a large amount.” I hesitate before adding. “It’s definitely not going to be a habit of mine.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “Understandable. But that’s not a problem for this week. I’m only looking to put down ten Gs.”
Ten thousand? Still a decent enough amount that I hesitate. Before Thursday, I would have taken that amount without blinking, but what’s that saying? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I might as well fuck myself. “Which game?”
“Cubs and Sharks.”
I’m not prepared to hear Taryn’s team mentioned. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t taken bets on them before, but now… it makes me uneasy. “Well, that’s an easy one. The Sharks aren’t paying much, but they’re as close to a sure thing as you’re going to get.”
He hums as he thinks before laughing, but something about the laugh doesn’t sound right. Rehearsed, maybe? “A sure thing doesn’t sound like fun. Let’s go for the underdogs, eh?”
I frown, staring at my screen as the words go out of focus. This is the second time he’s gone against my recommendation, and while he’s made a lot and probably has money to spare, red flags are going up in my head. I swallow thickly. It’s still early enough that most bets haven’t come in for this game, yet I know I can easily cover the win this time. But I’m not sure I actually want to take it.
“Come on, Elliot,” he probes. “Let’s have a little fun. Get the blood pumping. Maybe make some money on the other side.”
Taking a long breath, I steel myself. “At this point, I’m going to have to decline. Maybe closer to the game we can talk.”
The silence that follows this time is drenched in darkness. “Is that so?”
“Unfortunately, yes. It’s business, I’m sure you understand.”
“Hmm… well, I’m not going to lie, Elliot. I thought we could look after each other. I guess I’ll find myself another bookie.”
I don’t like threats. They immediately get my back up. Maybe that’s why the words slip out. “How did you know?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“The Hawks game. You knew they were going to lose. How?”
His laugh this time isn’t so light or forced. “Know? My, Elliot. You’re not suggesting the game was fixed, are you? Because that’s a very serious allegation.”
“Yeah, it is. But if it wasn’t a sure thing, why the hell would you put down that much money?”
“Because I’m a wealthy man.”
“I know plenty of those, and none of them bet that recklessly.”
“Careful, Elliot.” His voice drops to a deep whisper. “You also profited greatly off that game. You’ll want to think twice before saying things like that too loudly.”
My stomach clenches because he’s right. I have to let it go.
“Goodnight, Elliot. We’ll talk soon, and when we do, I hope you’ll have come to your senses.”
Darcy hangs up, and I sit there, staring at my cell. The screen lights up with the messages I’ve missed from both Rainer and Taryn. I can’t bring myself to check them. I can’t bring myself to do anything other than switch off my laptop, pack my satchel, and leave, pulling the door closed behind me. I’m numb as I take the elevator down, but as soon as I hit the street and begin my walk home, that prickly feeling hits me again.
Someone is definitely following me. My hands shake a little as I pull out my earbuds and shove them in, hoping the music will distract me enough to make it home.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Seeing Liam makes me pull up short, only for a second. He’s already sitting inside the café we’re meeting at, nose wrinkled cutely as he looks over the menu. And he is cute. I remember being completely blown away by being able to wake up next to him, but now… now I can appreciate that he’s cute, but for the first time since we broke up, there’s no bitterness left.
My smile is relieved as I enter the café and make my way over to him. I’m wearing my baseball cap and sunglasses, but I notice one or two people turn my way as I cross the room. Liam’s in a kinda secluded area at the back, facing the room which means I don’t have to. He still remembers my preference for that.
His smile when he sees me is automatic. “Taryn.” He doesn’t make a move to get up and hug me, probably because of how guarded we used to be, but fuck it. I lean over and give him a hug anyway.
“It’s good to see you.” I mean it.
“I’m glad. I’m not lying or being a dick when I say I want us to be friends.”
“I know. You never were capable of hurting people. That’s probably why you put up with me for so long.”
His soft smile confirms it.
“How was your Thanksgiving?” I ask.
“Good. Dad cooked way too much food, as usual.”
I laugh because Liam’s dad has always done that. It was weird this year, not having to split my time between two families. I had wanted to see Elliot, but apparently Thanksgiving is something he and Rainer do together.
We make small talk and place our orders when the waiter comes around.
“So… this guy,” Liam finally says. “He got a name?”
I lick my lips and quickly glance around to make sure no one is listening in. As I go to answer though, my phone starts to ring. It’s face up on the table, showing us both who’s calling.
A Friend.
Liam lifts his eyebrow, and I know it’s rude, but I scramble to answer. It’s the first time Elliot’s called me since we parted, and I already miss his voice.
“Hey, babe.” I can’t stop the word from slipping out and Liam’s eyebrows inch higher. I turn a little, trying to block him out.
“Hey.” His response is short and tense, and I frown. “I’m almost there.”
My stomach clenches. “Almost… where?”
“Your place. Fuck, today has been shit. I had to get away. Please tell me you’re free? There’s… I dunno. I need to see you.”
I need to see him too. Badly. But… I glance over at Liam. Do I tell him? I know exactly how I’d feel knowing Elliot was out with an ex. I know exactly what I’d do too—throw a tantrum and turn my car around. The last thing I want is to risk him leaving when I want to see him so damn badly. So I don’t give him the chance.
“Are you okay?”
He draws in a shaky breath. “No.”
“Meet me at Gildberg’s. It’s a café in Wyndham Square.”
He tells me he’s ten minutes out and we hang up. The minute I end the call, I know I should have told him what he’s walking into.
“So…” Liam can’t wipe the smile from his face. “I guess I’ve worked out why you’re suddenly so forgiving.”
I shake my head. “It’s a bit of a mess.”
“Yes, and him coming here isn’t going to clear up anything.”
“Well, it was a better option than lying to him.”
“You still should have told him I was here, though.” Liam studies me. “You’re blushing.”
“No, I’m not.” I legitimately don’t think I am. But Elliot… he brings out responses I can’t control.
“Name?” Liam prompts.
“Elliot.”
“Is he a jersey chaser?” His tone is far more serious than the question warrants.
“No. Would it matter if he was?”
The
frown on Liam’s pale face deepens. “I just want you to be careful. Make sure he’s the right person so that way neither of you end up hurt.”
“Hurt.” I scoff, turning away.
“Yes.” His voice is soft, and I can’t stop from looking back at him. His eyes are as sweet as ever, and I know he still loves me, like I still love him, but that spark is gone now. On both sides. “I wasn’t special enough, even after six years. And that’s okay. I’m not trying to guilt you for it because it is what it is. I just want you to be happy.”
I sigh and nod. “He’s pretty special,” I say.
Liam finally smiles. “Then in that case, I hope you don’t fuck it up.”
Our food comes out and as I look up to thank the server, I catch sight of Elliot walking in. He glances around quickly, and I lift a hand to get his attention. He smiles, and all the tension I was feeling completely disappears. I feel warm just being around him.
“Hey, Tar… yn.” His attention drifts from me to Liam, and even though I’ve never even shown him a photo, he clearly knows exactly who Liam is. I have to fight the urge to stand up and pull him to me, especially after those few days where I was able to touch him any time I wanted.
I grab a chair from the table next to us and drag it over. “Hey.” I almost say babe again but catch myself in time. There’s an awkward moment where I’m not sure he’s going to sit down, but a guarded look comes over his face, and he lowers into the seat beside me.
“Elliot.” Liam smiles. “I take it you know who I am?”
Elliot swallows, and I focus in on the way his Adam’s apple bobs up and down, wondering what Liam sees when he looks at him. He’s more muscular and taller, but his face is far prettier than it has any right to be. He’s wearing his glasses, so I can’t easily make out what he’s thinking.
“I have a good idea,” he finally answers.
“I guess we had to meet eventually.”
“We did?” Elliot’s eyebrows jump up. “It’s funny. I didn’t think people kept in touch with their exes… met up for coffee…” His breathing is getting faster, and okay, I definitely should have warned him. He looks like he’s about to freak out. With a quick glance around, I inch my chair closer and reach for his hand under the table.