‘You can work with me again, of course,’ the woman continued. ‘And you could teach at university perhaps, like before, if you wanted. Oxford is only six miles away.’
For a moment, there was the man’s voice again, mumbling in the room at the other end of the line, but Yuri could not make out any of what was being said. Even if he had been able to speak English, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have been able to pick out the words. He suspected that the speaker was placing his hand over the microphone before he spoke.
‘I’m sorry, Anya, they want me to finish now,’ the woman said. ‘I love you, you know that, don’t you? I’ve never stopped. Not even for a day.’
‘I want to believe it,’ Anya replied. ‘I love you too.’
Yuri did not enjoy hearing her say that. She had never said these words to him. He turned off the radio set and went back outside to the corridor. After a few moments, the door of the main room opened and Anya walked out looking shell-shocked. Yuri had to make a quick decision, and he chose to say nothing about what he had heard, for the moment. He wanted to talk to Grigory first. That bastard must have been lying to him too. He was surrounded by deceivers.
‘How was it?’ he forced himself to ask.
‘I feel like I’ve just spoken to a ghost,’ she said. ‘It doesn’t feel real.’
‘But you’re happy?’ he asked. ‘You’re glad you went through with it.’
‘Yes,’ she agreed. ‘Let’s get a drink. I need one.’
In a mischievous mood now, Yuri asked, ‘How was he?’
‘Fine,’ she said. ‘Sweet.’
‘Is he the same man you remember?’
‘Yes,’ she replied. ‘As far as I could tell, he hasn’t changed too much.’
He guessed if he had not discovered the truth for himself, she would never have seen fit to tell him. It was tempting to keep asking her questions just to watch her lie over and over. But he was already bored with that.
He went back inside to check the radio room and put everything back as it had been when they had arrived. Then they made their way to the front door in darkness. Yuri checked up and down the street, and when he was satisfied that no one was around, he ushered her out the door.
‘Thank you for doing that, Yuri,’ she said, as they walked. ‘I guess it must feel strange for you.’
‘You’ve no idea,’ he said.
‘I don’t think anyone else would have helped me the way you have.’
No, he thought, there are very few people as stupid and as gullible as me.
‘Maybe not,’ he said. ‘Most people like to avoid trouble. I can’t avoid it. It finds me.’
They crossed the street and made their way to the bar. To Anya’s dismay, it was full after the basketball game. But Yuri was relieved. He really did not want to be alone with her, to have to talk, and pretend that he did not know anything. They sat at a table with some miners and he watched her gradually withdraw inside herself. But for once she seemed content. She had obviously gotten the reassurance she wanted from the phone call with that woman, whoever she was.
He made an excuse about having to do some late maintenance work, and walked her back home to Paris. She looked happier to be left alone too.
Then he made his way to the executive block. Using his own master front-door key, he let himself into the foyer. He knew Grigory’s apartment, having been there as a guest several times over the years. He walked up the stairs to the third floor and rapped gently on the door. Timur’s apartment was nearby, so he was careful not to attract unwanted attention.
Grigory opened the door, dressed in slippers and a dressing gown. He took one look at Yuri’s expression and broke into a knowing smile. He opened the door wide for Yuri to enter.
‘I was wondering how long it would take you,’ said Grigory, waving for him to sit on the couch. ‘You probably need a drink?’
‘You knew about her, didn’t you?’ said Yuri. ‘Who is that woman?’
‘Yes, I knew,’ said Grigory.
‘Why didn’t you tell me? I thought we were friends.’
‘We are friends, really. But with something like that, I thought it might be best for you to find out for yourself. Though, I have to admit, it did take you a lot longer than I expected.’
Yuri took the tumbler of whiskey Grigory offered him, and knocked it back in one gulp.
‘I’ve been racking my brain,’ said Yuri. ‘But honestly, I don’t think there were any signs that I missed.’
‘No,’ agreed Grigory. ‘She’s clever that one. She keeps her cards close to her chest. If it’s any consolation, I think she likes men too.’
Yuri shook his head. ‘So it wasn’t all a lie. Me and her. Just most of it.’
Grigory refilled his glass. ‘What did she say to you? Why did she tell you now?’
‘She didn’t,’ said Yuri. ‘She doesn’t know that I know. I found out by accident. I listened in to her radio conversation. She asked me not to. I can see why, now.’
‘Ah, bravo. What a spy you are becoming. You are doing a lot of lying at the moment, wouldn’t you say?’
‘Spare me the lecture,’ said Yuri. ‘It’s not what I need right now. You and me are risking our necks so she can go and live with this woman, whoever she is, in a little cottage with yellow roses.’
‘What cottage?’ said Grigory.
‘That’s what she said on the radio, white cottage, yellow roses, near a river. Who is she anyway?’
Grigory sat in an armchair and rested his head against the back.
‘Quite the genius, I heard. Not Anya, the other one. Taisia. One of the stars of the third idea programme. A protégé of Sakharov. So good that they let her get away with her affair with Anya, which is not usual, as you know. Anya managed to stay on the programme only because of her. And then word got out abroad about how good Taisia was. I can imagine how it went. Someone like me would have made contact. Sized her up, before making her an offer she couldn’t refuse.’
‘Is that what happened with you?’ asked Yuri. ‘An offer you couldn’t refuse?’
‘Unfortunately not,’ said Grigory.
They both sat in silence for a moment, nursing their drinks. Yuri looked around the room. A lot of books on shelves. Framed pictures on the wall. Grigory with a woman and teenage children. He had never mentioned a wife. Then Grigory on the outer edge of a group photo with Brezhnev, almost falling out of the photo. Another on his own standing right beside Khrushchev. A handshake with smiles. Photos of a career that had been on an upward curve once, but had obviously stalled. His foreign handlers must not have been pleased with that. A man on the inside in the Arctic mining town of Pyramiden did not have quite the same value as a man inside the politburo.
‘So, what now?’ said Grigory, breaking the silence. ‘Do we stand down because we found out she likes women just as much as you do?’
Yuri did not answer.
‘Let me just say again,’ said Grigory, ‘if you’re not doing it, then I’m out too. You don’t owe her anything, you know. And I certainly don’t. What do you say? Shall we abandon the little liar to her fate?’
Yuri sighed and shook his head.
‘Since when did you get so soft?’ asked Grigory.
‘I said I would help her, and that’s what I am going to do. This doesn’t change that. And what’s with you anyway? Didn’t they give you this job, mission, whatever you guys call it? Won’t you get into trouble if you don’t carry it through?’
Grigory shrugged. ‘I am more or less retired. They haven’t asked me to do anything for a very long time. This one came out of the blue. I always wanted to go out with something big, but this is not quite what I had in mind. It’s a domestic tale. Woman A left Woman B, and now Woman A wants B back. My advice, you want her, don’t leave her behind in the first place. Simple, and a lot less grief for everyone else.’
Unlike Yuri’s previous competitive relationship with Anya’s fictitious male husband, thoughts of this woman, Taisia, wanting
Anya did not make him feel angry or jealous. He did not know what to feel.
‘Well, we’re still going through with it,’ said Yuri. ‘We both are.’
Grigory sighed. ‘I was afraid you were going to say that. Aren’t you annoyed with her?’
‘She is still leaving me for someone else. I already accepted that. Somehow it feels less bad that it’s a woman.’
‘But she’s not worth risking our necks for. I would rather not spend my old age in a prison cell for her, if it’s all the same to you. She would not do as much for you.’
‘Nobody is going to prison,’ said Yuri. ‘Not us and not her. We’re going to plan this until it’s perfect. And then we are going to plan some more. All right?’
Grigory raised his glass in a toast. ‘To prison.’
On his way down the stairs, Yuri ran into Timur coming up. The KGB man looked at him with suspicion, and stopped. Yuri was sorely tempted to lunge at him and push him over the railing, for a long drop to the foyer.
‘What are you doing here so late?’ Timur demanded.
‘Some emergency maintenance for Grigory,’ said Yuri, without stopping.
Timur looked like he didn’t believe him but he let him pass.
‘Must have been bad if it couldn’t wait till morning,’ said Timur, after him.
‘No, it wasn’t,’ said Yuri. ‘Grigory’s getting fussy in his old age.’
Yuri looked over his shoulder and saw Timur smiling before continuing up the stairs.
As he trudged home through the snow and roadside sludge, he resolved that he would say nothing to Anya about what he knew. He would just get her away as soon as he could, and that would be the end of it.
However, when he opened his apartment door he found her lying in his bed. He had never thought in a million years that this sight could make him angry.
‘I thought we were going to see each other tomorrow,’ he said.
‘We were,’ she said. ‘But I wanted to thank you for what you did. You deserve a reward.’
As much as he wanted a reward, he could not keep up the pretence any longer.
‘I know you have no husband,’ he blurted out. ‘I heard you talking to her.’
Anya was momentarily dumbstruck before making a quick recovery.
‘You listened?’ she said, her face flushed with anger. She swung her legs out of bed and started to get dressed.
‘Hey you,’ he said. ‘Don’t even think about getting angry with me. On the scale of liars, I think you win hands down.’
Anya paused and let her anger subside as quickly as it had come.
‘Keep your voice down,’ she said.
She finished putting her boots on, but stayed sitting on the edge of the bed.
‘No reward then?’ said Yuri. ‘How about an explanation? An apology? Anything will do. It’s only me after all. Dumb old Yuri.’
He could see her temper flaring once more but she did not take the bait.
‘Excuse me, Princess, I know you don’t like to be criticised.’
She grabbed her coat from the end of the bed.
‘Could you stop,’ she said. ‘Just stop. What would you have said if I had told you the truth? In case you hadn’t noticed, loving a woman is not news you go broadcasting around our big backward country.’
‘You were sleeping with me,’ said Yuri. ‘I am risking my neck to help you. And not just me. A little bit of honesty would have been a good thing.’
Anya sighed and nodded her head. ‘All right. I’m sorry. Maybe I should have told you. I needed your help.’
‘So you used me to try and get back with her. And that’s all it was.’
‘No. I like you, Yuri. It’s been fun. And I wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t for you.’
‘But?’ he said.
‘But I love her. It’s not important that she’s a man or a woman. That doesn’t matter to me.’
Yuri shook his head. ‘Just a detail, huh?’
‘Don’t tell me you are afraid of gay people,’ she said. ‘You are, aren’t you?’
‘No actually, I’m not. You’d be surprised how many gay miners pass through here. I happen to like the opposite sex. Although my experience with you may make me reconsider.’
‘Oh please,’ she protested. ‘Don’t tell me you haven’t enjoyed being with me.’
‘I haven’t.’
Anya looked away. ‘I don’t believe you.’
‘You tried to kill yourself, remember that one?’
‘You regret saving me now, is that what you’re saying?’
Yuri shrugged. ‘I haven’t decided yet.’
Anya stood up and zipped up her coat.
‘I’m leaving,’ she said.
He guessed she would not walk out just like that. She still needed him. If she raised the subject now, he thought, it would be proof that he was just a means to this end. She reached out her hand but paused before touching the door handle. She turned to look at him.
‘Does this mean you aren’t going to help me?’ she asked.
He smiled to himself, and did not look at her when he said, ‘A promise is a promise. I will be in touch when it is time to go. In the meantime, please stay away from me.’
She stared at him, waiting for him to make eye contact. When he did not she nodded.
‘Thank you,’ she said, and left.
He could sell her out to Timur as fast as a click of his fingers. But it was not something he would even consider doing. The sooner she left the better it would be for both of them. And after that he thought he might like to stay single for several years. This one had not been worth the pain.
Completely exhausted, he undressed and climbed into bed. He tried to relax but something was annoying him. The pillows smelled of her so he flung them across the room. The sheets did too.
It was tempting to just put her in Pyramiden’s helicopter and fly her to Longyearbyen in the morning. And they could do whatever they wanted with him when he came back. But now he felt the same way as Grigory. He definitely did not want to go to prison for her.
He woke at six in the morning, feeling as though he had not slept at all. After making himself a coffee, he walked to the sports centre. There was no one else there as he changed into his swimming trunks. He dived into the pool and began to do lengths at a furious pace, one after the other, without stopping.
As he swam, he thought through a new plan, step by step. He wanted to be rid of her. He was not going to wait for the sun. Instead, they would go as soon as possible, when the weather forecast was good. Fifty miles, in the cold and dark, was going to be a challenge. It was not for nothing that every autumn they shipped in enough food to last till the spring. Even he was apprehensive about the trip. But she would have to endure it, if she wanted him to take her.
An imagined picture of Anya’s non-existent husband had become so rooted in Yuri’s consciousness that he found it hard to shake it off. He had no idea what this Taisia looked like. If only he could go back to the moment where it had all started. Anya standing outside London, waiting for him.
‘Are you the one I’m waiting for?’ she had asked.
‘No, I am not. I hope you find him. Goodnight.’
Had it happened that way, he would not be where he was now, drained and depressed. He pushed himself to the bottom of the pool and held his breath for a full length. Breaking the surface at the end, he gasped for air.
When he could not swim any more, he pulled himself out of the pool. He showered, and dried, and managed to leave just as the early morning swimmers started to arrive.
In order for this plan to work, he would need to convince someone else to help him. This person had no reason to offer assistance; they were not even involved. But for him to be safe, there was no other option than to make this person complicit in what they were doing. And hope they would keep the secret.
Chapter 19
YURI SET THE trip for three days’ time. Grigory advised against it, saying it was still too dark
outside, but Yuri wanted the whole thing to be finished. Apart from Anya, only one person saw him every day and would notice his absence. Yuri feared that if Catherine did not see him for three or four whole days, she would raise the alarm and have everyone out searching the ice for him. He guessed she would not wait more than twenty-four hours before asking everyone she met if they had seen him.
It was difficult to gauge how she might react to what he had to say. Despite having gotten to know her well, and seen her strengths, in his opinion she still had a naive view of the world. He could not help seeing her as one of those western kids who thought that having the hammer and sickle on their bedroom wall equalled revolt. For Soviet kids it was western pop music and Levi jeans.
But he hoped that when push came to shove, she could discern what was really right from wrong in Anya’s case. And she liked him. Or used to. He did not know how much that would count with her when she was faced with an ethical dilemma. There was only one way to find out. When they were alone at the power station he decided to take a chance on her.
‘I might be gone for a few days,’ he said. ‘Do you think you can handle everything on your own while I’m away?’
She looked surprised. No one went anywhere for a few days at this time of year. No one came and no one left. Not unless there was a medical emergency that their small hospital could not handle.
‘Where are you going?’ she said.
‘I am taking a trip with Anya,’ he replied. ‘It would be better if you didn’t tell anyone about it.’
She paused and studied his expression. He tried to convey that this was something important to him.
‘You are coming back?’ she asked. ‘You are not abandoning us?’
‘Yes, I’ll be back on the fourth day, at the latest.’
She could tell from his expression that it was not as simple as that.
‘And Anya?’ she asked. ‘Will she be coming back too?’
This girl is far too smart for her own good, Yuri thought. Whatever the consequences, he did not want to lie to her again.
‘Her trip will probably be one-way,’ he said. ‘Would it matter to you if she didn’t come back?’
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