Last night, after an activity-filled Saturday and a quickie, she’d dozed off. In fact, she couldn’t remember putting on clothes.
Her face flamed. She pressed her hand against her stomach.
Thank God. Cotton, probably one of Dodge’s shirts.
Lex sat in bed and looked down. As she’d thought, one of Dodge’s many Harley shirts. Her gaze flew to Cullen.
Something was wrong. She’d gotten good at figuring that out by his expression. Right then, he held his hands together in front of him, curiosity in his stare but also a little…fear. Eyes round, brows drawn, frown in place, almost pleading.
She threw her legs off the bed. “Is something wrong, sweetheart?”
He nodded.
“What is it?”
He looked to the bed then met her stare and pointed at her. “Sleep.”
Yikes. How badly she wished Dodge had spoken to him about them before then. Both their faults. He didn’t think he had to and she thought it was too soon.
“Yes, I slept here with your dad. We’re…”
Cullen shook his head. “Bad doream.”
She tilted her head to the side. “Oh, you had a bad dream.”
He nodded.
Then she assumed aloud, “And when you have a bad dream, you sleep here with your dad?”
He nodded again.
She held out her hand. “Come here. I’ll let you sleep with your dad.”
He shook his head. “Want you.”
Two simple words and an emotion too beautiful to fully express rushed her bringing tears to her eyes. She swallowed and nodded.
He climbed into bed and lay down between Dodge and her. As soon as she did, he circled his arm around her waist, pressed his face against her chest, and burrowed in to her.
She fell asleep with her hand in his messy hair.
****
Where the fuck was Lex? He didn’t feel her, which meant she woke in the middle of the night and left. He finally caught her on a night she’d been too tired and took advantage—letting her fall asleep and not waking her. But she must’ve left. If she were there, she’d be hard-pressed against him.
Shit.
He cracked his eyes open, turned to look at the pillow next to his, and spotted her sound asleep. Facing him, strawberry hair sprawled above her, her arm tight around…
Shit.
Cullen lay beside Lex, facing her. He must’ve had a bad dream and climbed into bed. Cullen did that on occasion. Dodge didn’t mind it. One of the pluses of being a dad and something else he could give his boy so he did. Right then though he couldn’t help feeling jealous. His boy chose Lex over him? Then again, he couldn’t blame him. He was in Cul’s shoes, he would’ve picked Lex too. So beautiful, those curves, all warm and always smiling.
He grinned. Maybe Lex would stop telling him when the time came, he had to explain shit to Cul. He knew his boy. Cul knew about them, had known for a while.
Slowly, so he wouldn’t wake them, he sat up in bed. His old mattress creaked. Cullen turned to him. His eyes open wide like he’d been up for a while. For that, Dodge couldn’t blame him either. She smelled nice. He would’ve stayed in bed too.
He smiled. “Morning, Cul.”
Cul grinned.
“Are you gonna get up with your old man, or are you gonna stay in bed with Lex?”
Cul didn’t say a word but gave him a look, one that said, “You’d do the same if you were me.”
Hell yeah. His son knew him well.
He fought not to laugh. “Come. Let Lex sleep.”
Cul shifted away. Amazing, his whole life, Dodge had never seen him do anything so carefully. The kid was all boy, rough and tough. Everything he did, he did with brute force, force that’d surprise anyone a three-year-old had though it was necessary to point out he was big for his age. And yet for Lex, he made an effort proving his boy was a good kid and especially, thoughtful.
He pulled himself out of bed. Cul did too. They exited the room together. He headed straight for the kitchen, coffee on his mind. Cul strode into the living room. No doubt, toys were on his.
****
Slowly, the haze lifted. Lex stretched her arms over her head and parted her eyes. Not her room, not her bed and it was empty, unlike the last time she’d woken.
Sitting up quickly, she hopped off the bed and headed for the bathroom. Since she didn’t know how much time she had, she quickly ran her fingers through her hair, rinsed her mouth with Dodge’s mouthwash, and patted her cheeks lightly for some color. Striding into the room, she found her clothes and dressed. Once semi-presentable, she walked out, down the hall, and into the living room. Cullen, sitting on the floor playing with a car track, looked up and smiled her way.
“Morning, Cul. How’d you sleep?”
His smile widened.
Not a moment later, a set of arms circled her waist. Dodge buried his face in her neck. His stubble against her skin making her shiver. Then he pressed a wet kiss to her pulse.
Cullen’s gaze still on them, so with her smile in place, she whispered, “Dodge.”
He chuckled, the warmth of his breaths heating her. “He knows, babe. Told you this.” He loosened his hold around her.
She faced him simultaneously putting distance between them. “You should talk to him about it,” she whispered. “I know he’s smart, but he’s just a kid. He must be confused.”
Dodge held her stare for a moment.
While he did, she realized something. Cul was his son, not hers. She had no say in how he handled him. When they’d met, Dodge made this clear, something she hadn’t thought about while she’d continued to insist he talk to Cullen about them until then.
She took a step back, mumbling, “Sorry—”
He caught her wrists and held her in place. His brows furrowed. “Sorry?”
“Yes. It’s not my place to say—”
Without losing hold of her eyes, he shook his head. “It is. You and me, we’re together, so it is your place to say.”
Her chest warmed. “Really?”
Gaze softening, he released one of her wrists to cup her cheek. “Yeah, Lex, really.”
God, he trusted her that much? They hadn’t been together long. Wasn’t it too soon? Her feelings for him had grown exponentially over the course of that short period. In fact, she’d fallen for him but had no idea if he felt the same, so she hadn’t said the words.
“That means…” She hesitated trying to find a way to express herself without saying too much. “…So much.”
Lame, she knew but hadn’t known what else to say.
He grinned. “Hey, Cul?” For a moment longer, he held her stare before looking to Cullen. When he did, she turned and did too. “We gotta talk.”
He glided his hand from her wrist to her hand, tugged her toward the couch, and sat. Grabbing her hips, he lugged her to sit beside him and slung his arm around her shoulders, holding her to his side.
No, he couldn’t possibly be doing what she thought. She’d advised him to talk to Cul alone. Her being there defeated the purpose.
She looked to Dodge and widened her eyes hoping he understood her hint. He saw her look when he glanced in her direction. How could he not when she was burning him with her gaze? But he drew his stare to Cullen, who sat down on the coffee table in front of them.
“You know your mother and me aren’t together anymore.”
Cullen nodded.
“We’re not getting back together. We’ve been separated for a while ’cause we’re getting divorced meaning we won’t be married anymore.”
Cullen nodded.
“I’m with Lex now.”
Cullen slid his gaze to her.
Face flaming, she fought not to shrink under the scrutiny of those big, brown eyes.
A moment later, a smile spread across Cullen’s lips. Then he shifted his attention to his father.
She expelled a breath.
“You understand what I said?”
Cullen nodded.
“Are you okay with this?”
Cullen’s smile widened. He nodded again.
“Good. Breakfast’ll be ready in a few. Today, we got the cookout, yeah?”
Cullen nodded, stood, and strode to his toys.
Dodge grabbed her hand and tugged her up. He then proceeded to drag her to the kitchen.
To his back, she whispered, “I meant you should talk to him alone.”
Turning, he lifted a brow. “Why?”
“Because if I’m there, he may not be honest with you if, let’s say, he has concerns about us or doesn’t like me.”
He threw his head back and laughed.
She narrowed her eyes. “May I ask what you find amusing?”
“Lex, you shitting me?”
“My pants are on and I’m not squatting over you, so no.”
His smile died, gaze heated.
That look, she knew what it meant and when he gave it to her, it made her want him too. Still, how could discussing feces turn him on?
Her lips parted.
His jaw clenched, stare raking her from top to bottom. “Picturing you with your pants down does the trick, Lex.”
Her breaths grew shallow. He didn’t miss it. The heat in his eyes intensified. In that instant, he knew she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. Not a thing they could do about it then.
His stare slid to her lips. He leaned in.
Planting her hands on his chest, she stopped him from nearing. “Let’s get back to the topic at hand.”
He leaned farther and claimed her mouth, taking what he wanted. She gave in wholeheartedly. In the back of her mind, she had a good reason why she shouldn’t have, but she couldn’t remember it then.
When he drew away, he smirked. “I laughed ’cause it’s hilarious you’d think for a second Cul doesn’t like you, that he’d have any concerns about you, about us.”
He cocked his head. “He may not say much, Lex, but he does a lot. He always has. Even as a baby, he wouldn’t stop. Never in my life had I seen him sit down and listen to anyone read him a book for longer than a couple of minutes. He’s a boy. He plays rough, does everything with force, yet getting out of bed this morning, no one would’ve guessed it ’cause he did it so carefully and slowly just so he wouldn’t wake you. He’s not much for hugging his old man either, but every time he sees you, he rushes in for a hug, and he talks more around you than anyone else.”
He shook his head. “So I don’t need him to tell me he likes you, Lex. I know he fuckin’ loves you.”
Her throat clogged. “He told me he sleeps with you when he has bad dreams.”
A soft look came over his face. “Yeah, he does that. One of the best parts about being his dad is that right there. When he does shit like that, since he doesn’t often, not to anyone except you, you appreciate every minute of it.”
Now, she had no idea what to say. Did he mind Cullen was more affectionate with her than him? She wouldn’t hold it against him if he did. Maybe because they were both the same sex, Cullen wasn’t affectionate with him as often. Still, if she had a daughter, she’d want her daughter to be affectionate with her.
He cupped her cheek and glided his thumb across her bottom lip. “I’m glad you’re you, Lex.”
That said it all.
It also melted her heart.
Chapter Twenty
Lex laughed, loud. As she did, she wondered about the biker called Trick.
She, Dodge, and Cullen arrived at the compound an hour ago for the club cookout. She’d been slightly nervous. Granted, she’d been to a club cookout before, but she still didn’t know much about bikers and the club though Dodge had told her the club was not involved in anything illegal.
The minute they strode into the backlot, Dodge headed for the grill, his turn to cook. Lucky for her, she caught sight of Allie and Tina, Della’s mother, near the playground and headed for them. Cullen dashed to the monkey bars. Not ten minutes went by, Della spilled soda on herself. Both Allie and Tina went inside with her to find her a suitable shirt. Still early, none of the other old ladies had arrived. She sat at a picnic table alone watching Cullen play for ten minutes before Trick, whom she’d met the first time she went to the garage, approached her with a couple of beers in hand and made conversation. She didn’t drink beer, not ever, but she took sips of the one he brought her and thanked him. The conversation consisted mostly of him talking.
Trick was younger than her, mid-twenties, dark, longish, curly hair tied in a ponytail at the base of his neck. His eyes dark, like Dodge’s, like Cullen’s but not as expressive. From what she’d seen for the past fifteen minutes, they’d only shown her a couple of expressions: humor and mischief.
A talker or better said, a storyteller, he told stories in a way she felt like she’d been there too. Quite a gift. It didn’t hurt he was funny, and his stories were hilarious. She found herself relaxing.
A biker, an amusing one, and he seemed like a nice guy who’d gone out of his way to talk to her and keep her company. It made her think the rest of the members of Hell Ryders could be just as nice or funny. She relaxed further, that nervous energy finally fading.
As she took another sip of beer, Trick grabbed his and stood. “See your new crew’s here, so I’ll leave you be.” He lifted his chin behind her.
She looked over her shoulder catching sight of Lynn, Mia, and Em.
“Nice talking to you, Lex, though I guess you didn’t do any talking, only laughing.”
She smiled. “Thanks for the laughs.”
He nodded and strode toward the compound.
Em, Lynn, and Mia joined her, Mia and Lynn sitting across from her and Em. Immediately, they started making plans for another girls’ night.
“It needs to be somewhere we won’t get caught.” Mia took a deep pull of beer. “Out of Wadden. Anywhere.”
“If we don’t want to get caught, we should have girls’ night at one of our houses. You know, make what we tell our men the truth.”
Mia’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. “That takes the whole fun out of it.”
Lynn shook her head.
Em shrugged and smiled. “Mia has a point.”
Lynn and Mia’s gazes lifted. Then Mia’s brows furrowed. Lynn’s eyes widened.
“What. The. Fuck?” A half growl, half yell.
That voice, one she knew.
She twisted her head, snapped it up, and met his eyes. The man standing there, she knew too, intimately, but then and there, he was a stranger.
Angry. No, beyond it, and the fury transformed him, made him someone she didn’t know. Body stiff and tense, demeanor and manner hard. Brows scrunched tight, cheeks covered in stubble flamed, lips thinned, jaw clenched.
Her mouth parted as her heart pounded furiously inside her chest. Dumbfounded, not knowing why he was incensed and why he’d aimed that rage at her, she didn’t say anything.
They hadn’t been there more than an hour. During that hour, she’d sat in the same spot watching Cullen and socializing.
The last few months had been almost perfect. They grew closer, comfortable with each other. They were good. No, great. Twice, they’d been to the beach. Once, they drove to San Francisco to visit her sister and Tim. Since the day she ran into Cullen’s mother, they hadn’t fought, argued, or had a misunderstanding.
Yet there he stood, that narrowed gaze pinning her while he yelled at her in front of her friends, in front of his brothers.
“You talk to me when I’m fuckin’ talking to you.”
She jolted, pressed the palm of her hand to her stomach, and shifted in her seat so she fully faced him. Taking a moment to recover, she kept her voice low. “What’s wrong?”
His eyes turned to slits. “I asked you a question.”
What had he asked? She couldn’t remember.
She swallowed. “Just calm down—”
“Fuck. Calm. Answer the fuckin’ question.”
She felt the heat of everyone’s eyes on them, felt
her face flame. Still, she hesitated trying to find a way to calm him. Maybe because she was so shocked and confused. Maybe because she wanted to salvage what they had.
She released a ragged breath before she pressed the palms of her shaking hands against her thighs and stood. “I don’t know why you’re mad, but we can talk about this in private—”
He leaned in, forcing her to tilt back. Then he reached behind her, grabbed a bottle, and launched it. She didn’t see what it hit but heard it shatter. Her nerves wound tight, the sound made her flinch.
Still, she didn’t lose hold of his eyes. She held them in complete disbelief and scared. He terrified her, the same man who a couple of hours ago cupped her cheek so tenderly and melted her heart. She had to get away. Taking a step behind her, she bumped in to the bench.
He took a step forward and leaned in to her, so his hard eyes were all she saw. “You gonna fuckin’ answer me?”
“I don’t know—”
“No!”
She angled her head to the sound. Cullen, chin lifted defiantly, pushed his way between his father and her, making Dodge take several steps backward.
So many people around and the one who stood up for her—a three-year-old? Not that she blamed anyone for minding their business, getting in the middle of a couple’s argument was asking for trouble. Still, Cullen was just a boy, and he felt the need to protect her.
Her chest compressed, the ache it caused, crippling. A rush of emotion clogged her throat. In that single moment that seemed suspended in time, the magnitude of the love she had for Cullen slammed in to her.
Dodge’s jaw twitched. He slanted his head, eyes shooting to Cullen. “Inside.”
Riding Hard (Hell Ryders MC Book 4) Page 18