I checked my watch. It was going on five and getting close to dinner time, but I still had some things to finish up. “That’s fine. But come back down when you’re done. We need to get going soon, although I have no idea how we’re going to get home.”
“Do you need a ride?” Frannie asked from the doorway. She’d changed clothes, and her long hair was in two gold-streaked braids over her shoulders. They made her look even younger than she was, and my heart sank even lower. She had no idea what she did to me.
“I might,” I admitted. “I called the towing company, but they haven’t gotten back to me yet. But I hate to put you out again.”
“It’s no big deal,” she said, but there was still none of the warmth in her face that had been there yesterday. “I can take you. Come on, girls.” She gathered them up and steered them into the hallway. “Let’s go make our chocolate.”
“Frannie, wait.”
She looked back at me, her expression blank. “Yes?”
But what could I say with the kids right there within earshot?
I’m sorry, I mouthed.
She shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I don’t mean about the ride home.”
“I know what you mean.” Then she disappeared, pulling the door shut behind her.
Cursing, I flopped back into my chair.
Two knocks on my door, and then it opened.
For a second, I thought maybe it would be Frannie, but it was DeSantis.
“Oh. Hey,” I said despondently.
He laughed. “Not the warmest welcome I’ve ever received.”
I sighed and rubbed my face with my hands. “Sorry. I’m having a shit day. What can I do for you?”
“I was going to ask if this was an okay time to talk about H.R. needs for spring, but it can wait.”
“No, it’s fine. Sit down.”
DeSantis shook his head. “Let’s talk tomorrow. Why don’t you take off for today?”
“I can’t even do that.” Suddenly I looked up at him. “Hey, can I ask you for a favor?”
“Sure. What’s up?”
“Could you drive me and the kids home? Whenever you’re ready to go is fine.”
He nodded. “Ready whenever you are.”
“And if it’s not too much trouble, could we try giving my car a jump? It’s in my garage, so we’d have to get it out.”
“No problem.”
“Thanks. Give me about twenty minutes to round everybody up.”
“I’ll be in my office.”
I picked up my phone and texted Frannie. Thanks for the offer, but no need to drive us back. DeSantis can take us.
OK.
I glared at my screen and typed another message.
I’ll come get the kids in fifteen minutes.
OK.
I sat there stewing for a moment, then set my phone aside and tried to answer some emails. But only about three minutes had gone by when I gave up on concentration, slammed my laptop shut, and marched out of my office.
What the fuck did she want from me? I’d apologized. I’d asked her if she was mad. If she had something to say, why didn’t she say it?
She was being immature and ridiculous, and I was going to tell her so.
Frannie
We’d barely gotten up to my suite when he texted me that I didn’t have to drive him home.
Good, I thought. The less I had to see him, the better.
All day long, I’d done my best to pretend nothing had happened, but it was useless. He was all I could think about. And I didn’t know how to act around him now—there was this weird tension between us that hadn’t existed before. He didn’t seem too comfortable around me, either. I’d never seen him as grouchy and mad as he’d been by the time we’d left the house.
I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I couldn’t. Every moment in his presence was torture for me. All I wanted was to get to the end of this day so I could curl up in a ball on my couch and have a good ugly cry. I’d thought being with him that way would be a dream come true, but this felt like a nightmare.
When the hot chocolate was done, I ladled it into mugs for the girls, then let them squirt it with whipped cream and decorate it with sprinkles.
“This is like dessert before dinner,” said Millie, licking whipped cream off her spoon.
As soon as I got them situated at the counter, there was a knock at my door. I glanced at my phone, which told me it had been little more than five minutes since he’d texted he’d be up to get the kids in fifteen.
I went to the door and pulled it open, and there he was in the hallway, looking restless and agitated. His hair was kind of a mess, and his hands were fisted at his sides. Still, my heart went crazy at the sight of him.
“They’re not quite done yet,” I said.
“That’s fine. Can I talk to you?”
Shrugging, I opened the door so he could come in, but he shook his head.
“Out here in the hallway.”
“Oh.” I glanced at the kids. “Okay.” Making sure the door was unlocked, I went out into the hall and pulled it shut behind me. Then I leaned back against it and folded my arms. “What’s up?”
“Frannie.” He was in no mood.
“What?”
“Stop it.”
“Stop what? I’m doing exactly what you told me to do—pretending nothing happened. Going back to the way things were before. You’re the one who’s angry.”
“I’m angry because …” He gestured back and forth between us. “This isn’t how it was before.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, although I knew exactly what he meant.
“You didn’t freeze me out like this before. You didn’t refuse to look at me. We could joke around and talk.”
“Maybe I don’t feel like joking around.”
He crossed his arms. “Why not?”
I decided to be honest. Pretending was clearly not my thing. “Because, Mack. Last night meant everything to me and nothing to you.”
His arms came uncrossed and his solid chest stuck out. “That’s not true. It did mean something to me, Frannie.”
“Then why do we have to pretend it never happened? Why can’t it happen again?”
“Because there are too many complications. You know I’m in an impossible situation.”
“No, I don’t. Last night, you asked me what chances I would take if I wasn’t scared. I didn’t get the opportunity to answer you then, but I’ll tell you right now—I’d take a chance on you.”
His face softened, and his aggressive posture deflated a bit. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
Tears blurred my eyes, but I smiled. “Maybe I don’t. Maybe I am too young and immature. Maybe I’m stupid to think that you and I could ever be more than friends.”
“You’re not stupid, Frannie. And in another life, we could be.”
I shook my head. “There is no other life, Mack. This is the only one we get. Look, you probably have sex like that all the time, but—”
Mack’s jaw dropped. “Are you kidding me? I haven’t had sex in over a year. And last night was fucking amazing. I haven’t been able to think about anything else all day long.”
Braver now, I came off the door and stood up taller. “Then I don’t understand why you can’t give me a chance. I feel something for you, Mack. I have for a long time—I’ve just been too scared to act on it.”
“You were right to be scared.” He came toward me, and for a moment, I thought he was going to take me in his arms. But at the last second, he reached beyond me for the door handle. Then he spoke low over his shoulder. “Don’t waste your chances on me, Frannie. I’ve got nothing to offer you in return.”
An hour later, I was a solid twenty minutes into my ugly cry when I heard knocking on my door. For God’s sake, now what? I grabbed a handful of tissues on my way to the door and blew my nose before opening it. My sister Chloe stood in the hall.
She’d been about to say something, b
ut at the sight of me, her eyes went wide. “Jeez Louise,” she said. “What happened to you?”
“What do you want?” I asked, a little angrier than intended.
“Well, I was gonna ask your opinion on some new label designs, but maybe now’s not a good time.”
“It’s not.” I stomped back over to the tissue box on my kitchen counter and yanked another one out.
“What’s wrong?” My sister came in and shut the door behind her.
It was on the tip of my tongue to say “nothing,” since I didn’t usually confide in her about stuff like this, nor did she in me, but while I blew my nose, I figured, what the hell? Maybe we’d have a closer relationship if I did tell her these things. And maybe she’d have some advice.
“You can’t tell anyone,” I said.
She held up three fingers. “Scout’s honor.”
“I slept with Mack,” I told her.
Her chin about hit the floor. “You what?”
“I slept with Mack.”
“Holy shit. Holy. Shit. I gotta sit down.” She sank onto a chair at my table as I stuffed soggy tissues into the trash. “You slept with Mack? Like you …” She made a fist with one hand and punched the palm of the other a few times.
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Chloe. I had sex with him. You can say it.”
“Whoa. I mean—whoa.” She blinked at me. “Sorry, I’m just really surprised.”
“That I did it?” I asked, marching over to the table and dropping into the seat next to her. “Or that I’m telling you about it?”
“Both.” Then she shrugged. “Actually, I’m surprised you have sex at all.”
“Of course I have sex,” I snapped. “I’m a grown woman, not that anyone around here seems to realize it.”
“Hey, relax,” she said, reaching over to pat my arm. “You don’t have to get mad. I’m glad you’re telling me. Frankly, it’s a relief. It makes you human. It’s just a surprise, that’s all.”
“It’s a surprise that I’m human?” I screeched.
“Kind of.” She lifted her shoulders. “You’ve always been such a Mommy’s girl. So well-behaved and just … good. I never knew there was another side to you. You’ve never shown it to me.”
I felt more tears coming and fought them off. “Well, I’m tired of being treated like a little girl, so I guess I’d better stop acting like it.”
“You’re off to a good start,” she murmured wryly. “So, Mack, huh?”
“Mack.” Hard to believe that less than twenty-four hours ago, I’d been whispering his name while he was inside me.
Chloe shook her head. “You want to hear something funny? At the Christmas party last year, April swore something was up with you two.”
“She did?”
“Yes. She kept seeing you guys talking and looking at each other, and she asked me what I thought, and I said no way.” She laughed. “Guess I was wrong.”
“Yeah,” I said miserably. “I’ve had a crush on him forever.”
“So when did this happen?” Chloe punched her fist again.
“Last night. I was watching the girls and stayed overnight because of the weather. After the girls went to bed, one thing kind of led to another.”
“Got it. So what happened afterward? Was he a jerk?”
I wiped my nose on my sleeve. “Yes and no. He said we had to forget it happened and go back to being just friends—I’m too young, I’m the boss’s daughter, blah blah blah.”
My sister shrugged. “He’s not wrong, exactly.”
I glared at her. “Yes he is, Chloe. I’m not that young. And I can’t help who my father is.”
“So what did you say?”
“I agreed, because I didn’t want to seem like a baby, and because I was scared to say how I really felt. So I tried to pretend like I didn’t care. But it was so awkward.” I cringed, shaking my head. “We had to bring the kids to Cloverleigh because they had a snow day, and when he came up here to get them, he said he wanted to talk to me in the hall. Then he accused me of freezing him out.”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course. He wants it both ways.”
“I gave up pretending and told him my feelings were hurt. That I couldn’t just forget it as easily as he could.” I got up and went for the tissue box again, trying to recall what else he’d said. “He claimed it wasn’t easy for him either, but that he’s in an impossible situation. And he said he had nothing to offer me.”
“Hmm.” Chloe leaned her elbow on the table and propped her chin in her hand. “Maybe he’s right. I mean, he just got divorced and he’s got three little kids. He probably doesn’t want a girlfriend.”
I blew my nose. “It’s not like I’d be demanding. And I love his kids.”
“I’m sorry, hon.” She gave me a sympathetic look. “I don’t know what to say.”
Sighing, I lowered myself into my chair. “I’m curious about his divorce. Like what happened. Do you think Sylvia would know anything?” Sylvia and Mack had gone to school together, and they’d been pretty good friends.
“It’s possible. They used to be pretty good friends. But she’s been gone for so long.” She shrugged. “You could ask her.”
I shook my head. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because we don’t talk like that. She’d think it was weird.”
My sister sat up straight and nodded slowly. “Frannie, I’m just going to say this out loud because I’m thinking it and even though I have worked very hard on my filter over the years, I feel like it’s something you should hear.”
“Okay,” I said hesitantly.
“I’ve never been in here like this before. Sitting down with you, just the two of us. Having a really personal conversation. Sharing secrets.” She leaned forward. “And the reason is because you’ve never invited me.”
“Well …” I felt embarrassed all of a sudden. “You’re always so busy. And I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me. I don’t really feel like any of you want to talk to me. You’ll think this is stupid, but I feel like you’re all part of this secret sister club and I’m not in it.
“I don’t think it’s stupid at all,” she said seriously. “It feels that way to us too, sometimes. And a lot of it stems from when we were little. Mom and Dad were always so worried about you. They kept you apart from us a lot. We felt like you were in this bubble and we all had to be so careful.”
“I hate that,” I said, my teeth clenched. “I know I can’t be mad that they were so protective of me, but do you know how lonely it was, growing up like that? I wasn’t close to you guys, I didn’t have school friends, I spent tons of time in the hospital with only my parents and the nurses for company, and even after I was perfectly healthy, Mom and Dad wanted to keep me in that bubble. They still do!”
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said. “Now I can see that it must have been lonely for you, but back then, we were all just trying to get some attention, and it didn’t seem like there was enough to go around.”
“You must have resented me,” I said. It was a relief to finally say these things out loud. “You were the baby until I came along.”
Chloe thought about it. “It wasn’t so much about not being the youngest anymore as it was just basically feeling ignored. My therapist thinks that’s why I got into the pattern of acting out.”
I nodded, my eyes filling. “I’m sorry, Chloe. I’ve thought about it a lot as I’ve gotten older and wished things were different, but I didn’t know how to approach it.”
“Hey.” She put her hand over mine. “It wasn’t your fault. I think my therapist is wrong about that anyway—I think being a shithead teenager was just in my blood. And we can’t change the past, but I definitely think we can be better in the future about talking openly and letting each other in a little.”
I sniffed. “I’d like that. You guys have such great relationships with each other.”
She shrugged. “Sometimes. I mean, April and I are pretty close. Sylvia’s been kind of
distant for a while, but she’s all wrapped up in her perfect life. And Meg, who the hell knows what she’s thinking? We’re the closest in age, but I haven’t spoken to her in months. Mom’s always complaining that she never calls.”
“Mom and I had an argument yesterday.”
She looked surprised. “What about?”
I filled her in on my hopes to start my own business, the offer I’d had from Mrs. Radley, and our mother’s immediate dismissal of the idea.
“I think it’s a great idea,” she said excitedly. “Fuck Mom on this one. Really. I love her, but she needs to let go of you or eventually you’re going to hate her.”
I didn’t think I could ever hate my mother, but I knew what Chloe meant. “Maybe I’ll try talking to her again.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “Do you need their help? Because you certainly don’t need their permission.”
I sighed, fitting the tips of my thumbnails together. “I might be able to do it on my own. Get a small business loan from the bank, or see what Mrs. Radley would be willing to invest. But it would be really hard for me to take on such a big venture without their support—and I’m not talking only about financial support.” I peeked at her. “You probably think that’s childish of me.”
“Not at all.” She reached over and patted my arm. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting your family’s support, and I agree it would be better for you to have it. So talk to Mom again. And get Dad in the room this time. I think he might be more willing to see your side. He’s more logical—Mom’s emotions get the best of her.”
I nodded. “Thanks, that’s good advice. I also think it would help if I went in armed with some actual numbers and statistics. Maybe even some possible locations.”
“Definitely,” Chloe agreed. “I can help you there. Hey, have you eaten yet? Why don’t we get some food and just hang out here tonight? Do a little research.”
“Okay.” I felt my mood lift a little at the prospect of spending an evening with my sister. Something had shifted between Chloe and me—it felt like a barrier had been removed. And it would be good to have an ally in the battle for my parents’ support.
Irresistible: Cloverleigh Farms Standalone Page 9