“Of course I will. I wouldn’t miss your dad in a pink glittery shirt for anything.”
I groaned, turning Millie around by the shoulders and giving her a gentle shove toward the stairs. “Get back up there and get in the shower, or I’ll have no hot water left.”
When she was gone, Frannie and I exchanged a wide-eyed look. “Do you think she saw?” I asked.
“Maybe not,” she said, but I could tell she didn’t mean it. “But we should definitely be more careful.”
I watched her leave, feeling that ache in my chest again, and I wished there was a way I could’ve asked her to stay. I was tired of being careful, tired of missing her at night, tired of feeling bad for wanting her, tired of feeling like I was one person with her, and a different person with the kids. Neither version of me was complete.
I wanted to be both at once.
Was it impossible?
On Wednesday, Mrs. Ingersoll said she’d take care of feeding the kids if I needed more time at work, so I was still in my office at seven when I heard a knock.
“Come in.”
The door swung open, and Frannie peeked around it. “Hi.”
“Hey.” I closed my laptop, glad to see her face. “How’s it going?”
“Good. I just had an awesome conversation with my dad.”
“Oh yeah? Come on in. Tell me about it.” I gestured at one of the two chairs in front of my desk. “I haven’t seen you all day.”
She shut the door and leaned back against it, her expression wary. “You’re not too busy? I don’t want to bother you. I know you’re short on time this week.”
“I could use a break.”
“Well, I won’t take up too much time, I just wanted to tell you that I went over the numbers Natalie gave me with my dad, and he said he’d give me what I’ll need to buy in.”
“He’s giving it to you?”
She nodded, her smile radiant. “Uh huh. He said it’s about equal to what my sisters’ educations cost, and since I never went away to school, I can have it to invest in my business.”
“Frannie, that’s amazing.” Her eyes were bright and her skin was flushed with happiness. She looked beautiful and sexy and I was dying to touch her.
“I know! I’m so excited, I don’t even know what to do with myself.” She pushed off the door and bounced around a little.
“I’ve got an idea. Come sit on my lap.”
She waved a hand at me. “No, you’ve got work to do. I should go.”
“Don’t make me come over there and get you.” I stared hard at her, my face stony. “Lock the door.”
She did as I asked, a smile on her face. “Want me to turn out the lights?”
“Fuck no. I want to watch you.”
“Watch me what?” she questioned coyly, one eyebrow arched.
I’m going to hell, I thought. But I said it anyway. “Watch you get on your knees and take my cock in your mouth.”
Her jaw fell open, and for a fraction of a second, I thought I’d gone too far. And then the little vixen dropped to the floor and fucking crawled to me, her back arched, her eyes hooded, her hair dangling seductively.
I turned my chair to face her as she slinked slowly around my desk. When she reached my feet, she put her hands on my knees. I unbuckled my belt and she watched as I took my cock in my hand, working it slowly up and down the thickening shaft. Her eyes were wide.
“Are you nervous?” I asked.
She shook her head. She licked her lips. She slid her hands up my thighs and took my dick from my grasp, wrapping her fingers around it.
Then she lowered her head over my lap and teased me with her tongue, slow swirling strokes over the crown that made my stomach muscles tighten and my legs tense. With my other hand, I reach for her hair, lifting it off her face. My breath caught as I watched her head dip lower to leisurely lick her way from the bottom to the top, where she circled the sensitive tip. Three fucking times she tortured me that way, and on the third time, her eyes met mine. She kept looking at me while she took only the head between her wet lips and sucked gently.
“More,” I growled.
Lowering her eyes and her mouth, she took me in a little deeper and moaned. It felt so good I nearly lost my patience and found my hand fisting in her hair. I must have pulled a little too hard because she gasped and took her mouth off me.
I loosened my grip and frowned. There was a reason this activity had been verboten during my marriage. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she panted, looking up at me again, that wicked spark in her eye. “I told you I like it when you get rough. I meant it.”
My dick throbbed in her hand, and I tightened my fist again in her hair. “In that case …”
She made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a moan, and put her mouth on me again. This time, she took me all the way to the back of her throat, and I watched in ecstatic disbelief as her lips and tongue moved up and down my cock. But it wasn’t long before watching wasn’t enough—the restless, fiery tension building up in my body demanded I move. With my hands on her head, I leaned back and began to thrust up—quick, hard jabs that forced her to take me in deeper. She gasped and grunted and struggled to breathe, but she never pushed me away. Her hands moved to my hips and she dug her fingers into my flesh as I fucked her hot little mouth faster and faster, my blood running hotter and hotter until suddenly the orgasm erupted within me and I poured into her without even giving a warning.
A nicer guy probably would have pulled out instead of pulling her closer, but at that moment I was content to be the biggest asshole on the planet as long as I got to come with my cock hitting the back of her throat. It was selfish as fuck, but it was pure ecstasy. Not only the orgasm, but the awareness that she wanted all of me. Accepted all of me. Even craved all of me. I forgot where we were, what day it was, what I was supposed to be doing—it’s possible I even forgot my own fucking name.
When I finally let go of her head and she sat back onto her heels, looking up at me like she’d just won a million fucking dollars, my head was spinning, my heart was throbbing, and I could hardly breathe. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before.
I looked at her on the floor at my feet and thought, Either I’m about to die and that was life’s final parting gift, or I’m in love with her.
I wasn’t sure which one was worse.
Frannie
“Jesus,” he whispered, looking almost frightened. “That was so fucking intense.”
I smiled and wiped my lower lip with the back of one wrist.
Suddenly he reached down, grabbed me beneath the arms and hoisted me onto the desk in front of him. “Are you okay?”
“More than okay. I loved it. I’m all hot and bothered right now.”
His jaw dropped for a second. “You’re telling me doing that turned you on?”
I shrugged, giving him a shy smile. “Yes. I like hearing you. And feeling you. And being able to give you all of my attention without any distractions. Usually when you come, I do too, and I’m too carried away to focus on you.”
“I happen to like when you get carried away,” he said, reaching for the button on my pants. “So now I think it’s my turn to give you all of my attention without any distractions.”
“Mack, no! You’re supposed to be catching up on work.” I tried to push his hands away, but instead he succeeded in tipping me backward by the shoulders so I was on my back, legs dangling off the desk.
“Fuck work.” He removed my shoes, and grabbed my pants, yanking them all the way off, along with my underwear.
I propped myself up on my elbows. “And it’s late. Won’t Mrs. Ingersoll be expecting you?”
“Fuck Mrs. Ingersoll.” He dropped to his knees and threw my legs over his shoulders.
“But … what about … the kids …” And then I couldn’t talk anymore, because his tongue was doing things that took away my ability to form coherent thoughts.
After a few long, slow strokes up my center and se
veral seconds of soft, swirling circles over my clit, he picked up his head. “I’m not thinking about the kids right now. And I don’t want to. I spend all day every day doing things for them, and I will for the rest of my life. But right now, it’s about what I want. And that is to bury my face in your pussy and make you come with my tongue. Then I’d like to fuck you on my desk. Does that work for you?”
“Uh. Yes,” I said, my body already wet and aching for him.
“Good. After that, I will go back to being a responsible person.” He returned to what he’d been doing before, but this time, he slid one long finger inside me as well.
“You will?” I asked weakly, my eyes popping at the sight of his dark hair between my thighs.
“Maybe.” He looked up and pushed two fingers in this time, his breath hot and quick on my tingling skin. “I’m not too good at keeping promises.”
After checking that the coast was clear, he walked me up to my apartment—the back way, so we didn’t have to go through the lobby. My mother was still at the desk, and he wanted to avoid her.
“I’m telling you, she is fine with us,” I said as we climbed the stairs. “She asked me over the weekend if there was something going on.”
“What did you say?”
“I said we were taking it slow for the sake of the kids, but that we’ve been getting to know each other better. She said that was smart.”
He tucked his hands in his pockets. “My mother reacted a little differently.”
I stopped halfway up the staircase. “You told her?”
“No, but when she called on Sunday night, she sort of suspected, based on how much the girls talked about you. Then she asked a bunch of questions, and my answers must have made it even more obvious.”
Moving slowly, I resumed going up the steps. “So what did she say?”
“Just a bunch of things that I already knew.”
“Like what?”
He shrugged as we reached the landing. “Mostly that I need to be careful.”
I felt like there was a lot more he wasn’t saying, but I didn’t want to push. From the look on his face, it was clear he wasn’t happy about the conversation. “Well, I definitely think you’re being careful.” Then I winced. “Although Winnie did catch us in the closet. And Millie might have seen us in the kitchen.”
His frown deepened. “Yeah.”
“We’ve probably gotten a little careless. We can do better.”
“I wish we didn’t have to worry about it. But that conversation with her has been eating at me this week. She made me feel guilty—well, guiltier—about what we’re doing.”
“Moms are good at that. They know exactly how to push our buttons.”
“It’s not fair to you.” He shook his head. “What the fuck are you doing with me? You’ve got so much to give and I’ve got nothing.”
He looked so upset, I grabbed him in a hug. “Hey. That’s not true. We knew this would be tricky at the start, but we’re making it work.”
“My ex called on Sunday too.”
I stiffened. “She did?”
“Yeah. She knows about us too.”
“You told her?” Surprised, I released him and stepped back.
He shook his head. “No. She made the accusation based on how much Millie was texting about you. I didn’t deny it.”
“You didn’t?” I wasn’t sure whether to be happy or not. It seemed like a step in the right direction, but he looked upset about it.
“No. But maybe I should have. I don’t know.” He rubbed his face with both hands.
I swallowed hard. “Well … what did she say?”
“A lot of ugly shit about me, which I don’t care about, but then she threatened never to visit the kids again. Which would be fine with me, but she’ll find a way to twist everything so it’s my fault the kids don’t have a relationship with their mother.”
“Oh, Mack.” I twisted my fingers together at my waist. Clearly this had been weighing on him for days. “I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugged. “Because this isn’t your problem. I don’t want you to have to deal with my hostile ex-wife. Hell, I don’t want to deal with her. But I have to. I’ll always have to, because she’s my kids’ mom. That will never change. And neither will she.”
I could see him getting more and more worked up, and I put my arms around him again. “Hey. It’s okay.”
“It’s not. And it’s just one more reason why you should walk away from me and find someone easier to be with.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Mack. You know that, right?”
His arms came around me, warm and tight and strong, which was reassuring.
But he said nothing, which was not.
On Thursday, April came by the desk during my morning shift. “Hey, I’m meeting with Stella Devine tonight at six to go over some details. Want to join us?”
“Sure. Your office?”
“Bar, actually.”
I nodded. “I’ll meet you there.”
My shift ended at five, and I ran upstairs to change out of my work clothes and grab a bite to eat. At six, I went down to the bar, where April, Stella, and her sister Emme were sitting at a rectangular high-top table. Stella and Emme both had glasses of sparkling wine, and their faces were glowing after their day at the spa.
We went over the details and timing from the rehearsal dinner all the way through the late-night pizza buffet at the reception. Stella was an easygoing bride, and between Emme and April, the plans were so well organized that it seemed impossible anything could go wrong. At quarter to seven, they went up to change for their girls’ night out, and April and I lingered at the table.
“Whew, we’re off duty for the night,” my sister said. “Want a glass of wine?”
I nodded. “I’d love one.”
We moved to the bar so we weren’t taking up a table for four and ordered two glasses of pinot noir.
“So how are things?” she asked with a smile. “I’ve been getting an earful from Mom about your big plans, but we haven’t had a chance to talk.”
“Things with that are great, actually.” I filled her in on all the details. “Dad and I are going to meet with Natalie Haas next week about the financing, and I pretty much gave Mom my notice. Week after next, I’ll be at Coffee Darling full time.”
“That’s so awesome. I remember Natalie Nixon from school, although she’s a little younger than me. That whole family is nice.”
“Mack said he went to school with her sister Jillian.”
April nodded. “I graduated with the middle sister, Skylar. She works at Abelard Vineyards now, and I think Chloe knows her pretty well.” She sipped her wine. “Speaking of Mack, how are things with you two?”
“Pretty good, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Well, it’s kind of hard to tell. When we’re alone, it’s amazing. Actually, even when the kids are around, it’s amazing. He’s sweet and funny and he’s so flipping hot, I can’t stand it. The sex is unreal.”
“But …” she prompted.
I took a breath. “But it’s difficult. I feel bad for even saying this out loud, but trying to date a full-time single dad with three kids and keep it from them is tough—especially when you’re the nanny. Twice now the kids have walked in on us kissing in the house.”
April gasped. “What did they say?”
I had to laugh a little, remembering the looks on their faces. “Nothing really, but it’s obvious they’re confused. Kids are smart. They have to sense something is up.”
“Why doesn’t he want to tell them?”
“Well, when it first started, we agreed to keep it to ourselves because it was so new. But I don’t think we realized how quickly things were going to progress—I know I didn’t. I just hope he feels what I feel. I’m nervous he doesn’t.”
“Because he won’t tell the kids?”
“No, I get that, but the other night he said this thing that I can’t get out of m
y head. He said he worries about what will happen when I realize he’s not worth the shit I’ll have to put up with. He said, ‘You’ll leave, because you know you deserve better. And I’ll have to let you, because I’ll know it too.’”
April’s eyebrows rose. “Damn. What did you say?”
“I told him I’d prove him wrong.” I sighed despairingly. “And I hope he gives me time to do that, but what if he decides I’m not worth all the sneaking around and feeling bad? He told me last night that his mother was suspicious something was going on with us and lectured him about it.” I shook my head. “He warned me this was going to be tough, and he was right … but he’s worth it, April. I feel this down deep. I don’t want to give up.”
She reached over and rubbed my arm. “You want my advice? Just give it time. It’s only been a few weeks, and he’s probably still got a bad taste in his mouth about relationships because of his history. Divorce is really hard—it messes with your head. He’s trying to protect his kids, maybe even himself.”
“Himself?”
She shrugged. “Sure. Love is scary. You have to wear your heart outside your chest. He did that once and got burned.”
I closed my eyes. “God, that’s exactly it. It does feel like I’m wearing my heart outside my chest with him. Like my chest isn’t even big enough to hold it. But even though it feels huge, it feels fragile too.”
Her lips curved into a smile. “Congratulations, little sister. You’re in love.”
Mack
My folks arrived on Thursday, and that night I met up with Woods at Hop Lot Brewing Co., one of our old favorite places for food and drinks after work. I was looking forward to it, not just because I hadn’t seen Woods in a long time and he was like a brother to me, but because I’d had this fucking knot in the pit of my stomach all day long, growing tighter and tighter every time I thought about Frannie.
I’d lain awake all night long hearing her voice in my head. I’m not going anywhere. You know that, right? And then I’d picture her the way she’d looked kneeling at my feet, so sweet and sexy and happy, and my heart felt like it was going to explode. It was too much. Things had moved too fast, and my feelings for her were running too deep. She was all I wanted, and I wanted her all the time.
Irresistible: Cloverleigh Farms Standalone Page 19