by Brenda Novak
What about your folks? Did they stay together?
They never got together.
Who raised you?
My mother. Sort of. I’m not sure you could call it “raising.” My brother and I more or less raised ourselves.
And your father? He wasn’t in the picture?
I don’t even remember him.
I see. I’m sorry.
Don’t be. This isn’t about me.
You’re the one who said to get my mind on something else. ;-)
I’m the distraction?
You did tell me you were a good listener.
That’s true. How am I doing so far?
I haven’t called Axel yet. I count that as a success. What do you do for a living?
I work at New Horizons. Maintenance, repair and grounds, he added so she wouldn’t think he had some lofty job or the kind of education his brother, who’d recently become the principal of the new girls’ side of the school, did. While he had no plans to give her the dirtier details of his life, he also wasn’t out to make her think she’d found someone she might be interested in.
New Horizons is that correctional school not too far outside town, right? The one for troubled kids?
Did he tell her he’d been one of those kids? That he’d wound up in a much worse place than a correctional school?
No. This wasn’t about him. This was about her—about helping her get through this rough patch in her life. He could be anyone. Most are good kids who are just a little turned around at the moment.
He happened to glance up while waiting to see if she’d continue the conversation and froze. Atticus was rolling down the sidewalk toward him.
“Shoot,” he muttered under his breath. He often wondered if it was as hard for Atticus to see him as it was for him to see Atticus. If it was, Jada’s brother never gave any indication.
Shoving his phone back in his pocket, Tobias pushed away from the truck. “Hey, man. You’re looking good.”
“Gotta please the ladies,” Atticus joked as they exchanged their usual hand slap, fist bump, half hug.
“You got your eye on someone special these days?”
“No. Too hard to narrow it down,” he joked.
“The women of Silver Springs had better watch out.” Tobias laughed, but this subject made him even more uncomfortable than simply encountering Atticus in his wheelchair. He didn’t know if he’d robbed Atticus of a sex life when he’d robbed him of the ability to walk—and absolutely cringed at the thought that maybe he had.
If only he could take back what he’d done that night...
But he couldn’t. He had to live with it. And that was the greatest punishment there was, far worse than prison. “Did you just leave the store?”
“Yeah. Maya texted me. Wanted me to come down and try her new cookie.”
“Well? What’s the verdict?”
“This one’s pretty damn good.”
“Must be if your mother’s letting her sell it in the store.”
“Yeah. It’s been selling so well my mom’s thinking about offering it through the holidays, and Maya earns fifty cents toward her college fund for every cookie sold.”
“That’s pretty cool of Susan.”
“She’s not all bad,” he said wryly.
Atticus knew how Susan felt about Tobias. Most of the town did. Susan would barely speak to Jada since her daughter had married Maddox. She blamed Maddox almost as much as she blamed Tobias for what had happened to Atticus, since it was Maddox who’d taken Jada and Atticus to the party that fateful night.
“She’s not bad at all,” Tobias said. “I know that.”
“Sure you do,” he teased. “Anyway, it was Maya’s idea to add ice-cream cookies to the menu last summer, and the store’s been doing much better since then. I think my mom feels she owes Maya a little something.”
“I’m glad business is picking up,” Tobias said and meant it. Since nothing could compensate the Brookses for what they’d lost, he couldn’t wish enough good things to happen for Jada and her family.
Tobias looked down the street, checking to see if anyone was standing near the entrance to the store. “Susan doesn’t happen to be in there right now, does she?” he asked, lowering his voice.
Atticus clearly found the question funny. “No, the coast is clear.”
Tobias wiped his forehead as though he was wiping away sweat. “Good to know, man. Thanks.”
“No problem.” Atticus started to wheel himself away but turned back before Tobias could get too far. “Hey, I’m going to the Blue Suede Shoe. You should come down afterward. We’ll have a drink and play a quick game of darts.”
“You’re on. I’ll see you there,” he said and headed to the store.
As he drew closer, he thought of Harper and the conversation he’d abandoned, but he didn’t pull out his phone. He wanted to get in and out of Sugar Mama while Susan was gone.
“I hear there’s a new cookie in this place that’s pretty darn good,” he called out as he strode through the door.
Maya appeared to be running the store by herself. She did that for brief periods of time, if her grandmother or Pamela Kent—the woman who helped Susan with the store—had to run an errand. But Tobias knew Maya wouldn’t be alone for long, not at only thirteen, so he didn’t plan on staying more than a few minutes.
“Uncle Tobias!” She hurried out from behind the counter to give him a big hug.
“Atticus says your cookies are selling like crazy, Squirt.”
“Well, not like crazy. But they’re doing pretty good. It didn’t hurt that Daddy bought three dozen to take to the faculty meeting at school yesterday,” she added with an impish grin.
Tobias had watched how quickly and effortlessly Maya and Maddox had grown close and wondered how Susan felt about having the son-in-law she didn’t approve of turn out to be such a good father. “Word will spread. Soon it’ll be the bestselling cookie in the store.”
“I don’t want that,” she said, tempering her excitement. “That might make Grandma feel bad.” She hurried back around the counter. “But here, taste one.” She took the lid off the tray of samples and held it out.
He selected a small piece of a chocolate-chip cookie that had an abundance of gooey slices of various candy bars on top, some with caramel and peanuts and others with toffee.
“I call it the Outrageous,” she said as he chewed and swallowed.
“Wow. It’s delicious.”
Her expression grew earnest. “Really? You like it? You’re not just saying that to be nice?”
He gave her a wry grin. “When have I ever been nice?”
“You’re always nice. You might look tough with all those muscles, but...”
“I’m not?” he said with a laugh.
“You’re tough but nice, too!”
“Well, don’t tell anyone. I can’t have you spreading rumors like that.”
She rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe everyone can’t see it.”
Her grandmother didn’t think he had one single redeeming quality. And because of what he’d done, he tended to believe Susan over others. He knew he always would. “How many of these incredible cookies do you have left?” he asked.
“In this batch? Only twelve.” She motioned to the tray behind the glass. “But I’ll bake more in the morning.”
“Well, I shouldn’t take them all. Then you won’t have any to sell for the rest of the day, and we need to have as many people try them as possible. So...give me six.”
Her face lit up. “Are you sure? You like them that much?”
He would’ve bought that many even if they tasted like dirt, but fortunately, he did like them. “You’ve got a winner without question. And I bet they taste even better as an ice-cream sandwich.”
“They do! Should I make
you one?”
“Not right now.” He didn’t want to take the time. “Atticus is waiting for me down at the Blue Suede Shoe. He’s looking to beat me at darts again.”
She laughed because Atticus beat everyone at darts. “Just don’t put as much money on it as you did last time,” she advised sagely.
“Come on. Have some faith in me,” he said, but he knew that if he ever started to win he’d purposely lose.
She rang him up but didn’t hand him the bag. “Before you go, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. But I don’t want it to make you feel bad,” she added.
Tobias had just dug his keys from his pocket. “What’s wrong? This doesn’t have anything to do with your grandmother, does it?” He was afraid Susan had told Maya he wasn’t allowed in the store, or she wouldn’t be allowed to help in the store if she continued to associate with him.
“No, it’s nothing to do with Grandma. It’s about Uncle Atticus.”
She knew how Atticus had lost the use of his legs, so the way she was approaching this subject made him uneasy. “What about him?”
She nibbled nervously on her bottom lip. “It’s one of those things that maybe I shouldn’t talk about, but I want to fix, so I think it might be good to tell you. You know what I mean?”
“No. I’m completely lost here. Can you help me out by explaining a little more clearly what’s going on?”
She blew out a sigh. “Will you promise you won’t feel like you have to do it? Because it’s just an idea...”
“I’m open to all your ideas, and I’ll take it as well as I can. How’s that?”
“Actually...maybe I shouldn’t say anything.” She shifted from foot to foot, wringing her hands. “My mom told me not to.”
“Maya, there’s obviously something troubling you. Tell me what it is.”
“It’s nothing big. It’s just... Well, Atticus saw this video, and I could tell it got him really excited, because he kept watching it over and over. And...you’re so big and strong. And you go all the time.”
“It’s not getting any clearer,” he said. “Where do I go all the time?”
“Hiking!”
“That’s what the video was about?”
“Yes. It was of a man carrying his friend, who was like Atticus, on his back when he went hiking.”
“Because...”
“Because the disabled guy wanted to go but he couldn’t walk!” she said with some exasperation, as if that should have been obvious.
Finally catching on to where she was going with this, Tobias felt his pulse speed up. “An able-bodied man carried a disabled man because it was the only way he could experience it, too.”
“Yeah. And I thought...” She gave him a sheepish look.
“You thought I could do that for Atticus.”
She nodded. “For his birthday this summer. I bet he’d love to see Yosemite. Mom and Dad took me there for my birthday, and I told him how beautiful it was, and I showed him pictures and stuff, but he didn’t get to be there with us and see it like I did, because there are so many places he couldn’t go.”
Tobias wasn’t sure how to respond. It wasn’t as though he was unwilling to do something like that. He would do anything to give Atticus a fuller life. But was he physically capable of carrying another man while hiking Yosemite? Most of the hikes in the park weren’t easy even without that much weight on his back.
“How did he carry the other man?” he asked. “I mean, other than being strong. What’d he put him in? Some kind of backpack contraption?”
“That’s what it looked like. Sort of like those things parents use to carry children on their backs.”
Children were small, probably not more than fifty to seventy-five pounds. Atticus wasn’t large as men went, but he had to be close to a hundred and fifty pounds.
Still, he’d once read that military personnel carried as much as a hundred and thirty pounds of gear into battle. If he planned well and took frequent rests it could be possible...
“We’d have to find one that would be comfortable,” he said, thinking aloud. “And I’d have to train. A lot. Put on a heavier and heavier pack until I build up my stamina.”
“I bet you could do it,” she said, her face flushed with excitement.
Tobias felt it would be wise to temper that excitement. “Even if I could, I’m not convinced he’d be willing to try it, Maya. It’s one thing to experience a hike and another to feel so dependent. Atticus is good at taking care of himself. He might have a problem with letting another man haul him around. Especially me.”
“No, he likes you,” she said somberly. “A lot. I bet he’d be grateful.”
Was that true? Was it something Atticus would truly want and enjoy?
If so, Tobias would like to give it to him. But he’d have to test it first. Make sure he was capable before he made the offer. Even if he felt confident he could do it, he had no idea how to suggest it to Atticus. Hey, I’d like to take you on one of the greatest hikes of all time—and you’d want to go with me, right? After all, I’m only the guy who shot you.
That should go over well, especially with Susan if she caught wind of it. And what if he fell and hurt Atticus again?
That frightened Tobias more than any other part...
“What do you think?” Maya asked, her eyes round and hopeful.
“I think you have a heart of gold, little girl. But don’t mention this to anyone else, okay? Let me mull it over for a while first.”
She nodded right away. “Okay.”
“Promise?”
“I promise,” she said, crossing her heart.
“Good.” He took the cookies and got out of the store as soon as possible—but not because he was afraid Susan would show up. At that point, he wasn’t even thinking about Susan. He didn’t want his niece to know how deeply her suggestion had affected him. Just imagining himself carrying Atticus up a mountain like Half Dome—showing him what Tobias considered to be one of the most beautiful places on earth, especially on Atticus’s birthday—brought a huge lump to his throat.
He knew it would be more about the spiritual journey than the physical one.
5
I have cookies.
It had been a while since Tobias had responded. Harper had asked him where he’d grown up and had never gotten an answer, so she’d thought he’d lost interest in the conversation. She wouldn’t have blamed him if he had. In her current situation, she wasn’t very entertaining. She was, however, grateful to have someone new in her life who was willing to offer a bit of encouragement and advice—without pressing her for all the dirty details of her divorce. Before her sister had left for LA, Karoline had told her to be careful of the guy who’d given her the flower, that if he popped up again he might turn out to be a reporter looking for the inside scoop. But Tobias hadn’t even asked her why she and Axel had split up. He didn’t seem particularly interested in Axel, which was shocking. Everyone was interested in Axel. Harper was so used to taking a back seat to her famous husband that it felt great to have someone seek her friendship.
The kind you eat? she wrote, trying to understand this random text from him.
Yup. Fresh baked. Chocolate chip topped with
candy bars.
Feeling slightly better to have heard from him again, she sniffed as she curled her bare feet underneath her on the couch, where she’d been letting herself cry while watching old movies. Since the kids weren’t here, she had no reason to hold back, figuring she’d better get it all out while they were gone. Tempting...
They may not be healthy, but they won’t impair your judgment. :) You haven’t broken down and called Axel, have you?
She dashed a hand across her cheeks before responding. Not yet.
Good. Make him come to you.
She smiled despite her tears. It was comments lik
e this that made her trust Tobias, to a degree. So is a cookie my reward?
If you’ll tell me where you’re staying, I can bring it to you. Or you could come to my place. My landlord and his son are on the property, so you don’t have to worry about being alone with a stranger.
She thought of the security system her sister had recently purchased for the house. Karoline and Terrance could see anyone who came to their door via an app on their smartphones. She couldn’t let Tobias come over, not unless she wanted her sister and brother-in-law to know he was there. Where do you live?
Honey Hollow Tangerine Orchard—about ten minutes outside town.
Are you there now?
I am. Come over whenever you’d like.
Should she do it?
Why not? If she didn’t, she’d just continue to mope and think about the disaster her marriage had become. Hanging out with a new friend had to be better than wallowing in self-pity.
Are you hungry? I could bring a pizza or Chinese takeout, she wrote.
Chinese sounds good.
She asked what kind of Chinese food he liked and ordered it before going to wash her face and change her clothes. She was almost ready to leave when her phone rang. For the first time in ages, she wasn’t hoping and praying it was Axel.
She considered that a small victory right there.
It wasn’t Axel, anyway; it was her sister.
“Are you okay?” Karoline asked as soon as she answered.
“I’m fine. You guys having fun?”
“We got a hotel with an indoor pool. We’re about to head down and enjoy the water.”
“Sounds great.” Harper considered telling her sister that she was going to have dinner with the guy who’d given her the rose but decided not to. It was no big deal—so why mention it? “I think I’ll do some Christmas shopping while you’re gone.”
“That’s a good idea. Remember, just because changes are difficult in the beginning doesn’t mean they won’t turn out to be the best thing in the end. As much as you love Axel, if he can’t love you back enough to focus on you and fulfill you, what have you really got? I watched you try to keep him steady and happy for so long. I bet one day you’ll be relieved that his mood swings are no longer your problem.”