But I want to. I want to watch Charlie fry for everything he’s ever done.
Regardless, I grab the suitcase I packed while Charlie was sleeping last night from the entryway closet and follow Agent O into the crowded hallway. Our neighbors watch from beyond the yellow tape, gossiping about what’s happening.
Screw them! They’ve heard my pleas for help for a year and did nothing. No cops called, no good Samaritan knocking down the door.
“You’re sure he didn’t delete anything?” Olson asks.
“Pretty sure. He didn’t waste any time getting up when I defied him.”
All the evidence is on the laptop. He squeezes my shoulder in reassurance.
“This is the last time you’ll see him before the trial. You’ve got a brand new lease on life, Aria. You can put this behind you.”
I meet his eyes and frown.
“I can’t put this behind me,” I murmur. “When I close my eyes, I see him. I feel him crushing my throat, holding me against the stove. Forcing me to…” pleasure him. I take a deep breath. “You don’t know him like I do. You don’t know them like I do. I’m living on borrowed time. Charlie and his father will make me pay for this.”
My heart still hammers in my chest when we step off the elevator and make our way into the crowded street where the paparazzi snap pictures and bark questions at me. My gaze instinctually looks up to the windows surrounding me for snipers…something Charlie’s threatened me with for the last year.
Agent O helps me into the front seat of the black SUV and shuts the door behind me.
“You’ve got me,” he says, settling into the driver’s seat. “I’ve been hunting this family since I joined the bureau. I’m not resting until the Dodges are behind bars. I’ll protect you; I promise.”
Promises, promises.
It’s a thirteen hour drive from Chicago to Sage Creek. Agent O and I avoid sit down restaurants at all costs. Lucky for me, he loaded up on snacks and drinks before they raided the apartment. My stomach swirls with nausea and hunger by the time we make it into Sage Creek. We’re forty minutes from home. Forty minutes to find out if my parents are going to tell me to fuck right off and fend for myself.
“So, tell me about home. Who lives there?” he asks as we drive through the heart of downtown.
“My mother and father - Steve and Betty Lou, though you should address them as Mr. and Mrs. McKenzie. Then there’s my older brother Chris, and my older sister Annie. We live on four hundred acres, so we have at least fifty people who board their horses with us.”
“Anyone I should be briefed on?”
Someone from Sage Creek? No. We’re a small town, and even though I don’t have the best reputation, they still wouldn’t sell me out. Unless we’re talking about the Parkers.
“No, I don’t think so. You could probably ask my dad about a contact list.”
Adrenaline pumps through my veins as we turn onto the country road that brings us to the middle of the property—fifteen miles from town.
“Anyone else living on the property?”
“No, not for a while. It’s just the five of us.”
“We’ll have a meeting with your whole family, but I want to talk to you about what to expect. Are you up for it?”
Unfortunately, yes. I’m essentially moving from one warden to the next.
“Sure.” I rest my forehead on the cool glass of the window and watch the rolling hills race past me.
“This is going to get invasive, Aria. I apologize in advance, but there isn’t anything we can do about it. Charlie has already been bailed out and under strict instruction not to contact you. Regardless, we’re tracing your calls and text messages. I’m going to become your shadow. If you’re going into town, I won’t be far behind.”
“K.”
He heaves an exasperated sigh.
“This is serious.”
It doesn’t matter. He’ll find me either way.
“I know.”
He presses his lips in a hard line and drums his fingers on the steering wheel.
The driveway to the main house comes into view fifteen minutes later. The mile long driveway brings back so many memories. I brought Charlie down this road. He didn’t appreciate it the same way I did. He begged me to turn around as soon as the paved road transformed into a gravel road. It was the beginning of what was to come. He wasn’t abusive then. But the day after…
Momma’s truck sits in the driveway. Agent O parks next to it and throws the SUV in park. We stare at my childhood house. He’s probably thinking he won’t see civilization for months. For me, well, I don’t know what lies beyond the front door.
“There’s always witness protection,” he says teasingly. I crack a small smile and roll my eyes.
“Let’s go.”
He grabs my suitcase and I lead him to the front door. I hesitantly ring the doorbell. I’m not just going to walk in. I would scare the shit out of them, and they might shoot me.
The door swings open, revealing the most beautiful sight in the world. My sister, my opposite in looks and personality, stands just inches in front of me. So close to throwing my arms around her, yet so far because I cut her out of my life.
Her eyes sweep over Agent O, and then fall on me.
“Peanut?” Her bottom lip wobbles and pulls me into the biggest hug I’ve ever had. She sobs into my hair. “Oh my God. I thought we lost you. What happened to you?” My own tears soak the sleeve of her shirt.
“I’m so sorry,” I sob. I spent a year away, wishing I’d never left. That I could take it all back and stay put. I’ve hurt more people than myself it turns out.
“No, don’t be sorry. Holy shit. I’ve missed you so much.” She pulls away and stares deep into my eyes. Her eyes are Momma’s; kind, forgiving, and happy.
“It’s a long story. Um. This is Agent O. He needs to talk to everyone.”
Annie freezes.
“Oh…okay. Can you stay for dinner Agent O?”
He nods and flashes her a flirty smile. “Sure.”
Annie steps aside to let us in.
Time has stood still in this house. It’s like I’d never left. The family room is still plastered with pictures of all of us—including our honorary brother Jay, and my best friend—if she still is my best friend—Jackie.
I’ve disappointed so many people in a short period of time. Annie leads us into the kitchen where Momma is doing dishes at the sink. My heart pulses in my ears. Will she have me? Will I be able to hug my momma again?
“Who was at the door, sweet pea?”
Tears fill my eyes at my momma’s voice. For the last year, I’ve craved to hear her voice, to tell me everything is going to be okay.
Pot roast wafts through the air, making my already nauseous stomach growl. Momma places her wash rag behind the faucet and slowly turns around.
Her eyes immediately water. I should’ve put on some makeup before I left. I should’ve been more considerate. What mother wants to see her child like this?
“Baby?” Her voice cracks. She approaches me timidly, her warm, wet hands cradling my face, gently tracing my bruise. It’s like she’s trying to make absolutely sure I’m me.
“Hi, Momma.”
She cries out and throws her arms around me. “I’m so sorry, Momma. I’m so sorry.”
“I know, baby. You have nothing to be sorry for. Do you know how much I love you?”
Look at you! Your parents are so disgusted by you too! Do you honestly think they’re going to take you back after you ignored your father?
I banish Charlie’s voice from my mind as my mother strokes my hair. Annie, tired of being left out joins our embrace. We’re a sobbing mess.
“Who is this?” Momma asks.
I back up and turn to Agent O.
“This is Agent O with the FBI. It’s a long story, Momma. We’ll talk about it over dinner.” Where I can watch my father tear me apart. “Where’s Daddy?”
“Finishing up evening feed with your bro
ther…” I’d love for my father’s first reaction to be with just me. I’ve suffered through enough humiliation already.
“I’m going to go find him.”
“Baby, please, wait for him to come inside. I just got you back. Let me love on you a little bit longer.”
The thing is, she knows Daddy as well as I do. I ignored him when he begged me to leave Charlie. This won’t be a warm welcome. This might be the beginning of World War III.
“I have to get this out of the way, Momma. The anticipation is killing me.”
Annie shifts uncomfortably. “Let me come with you.”
“I need to do this alone.” I glance to Agent O to drive my point home. “Alone.”
“Aria, we talked about this,” he warns.
“It’s my dad and my brother down there. There are no threats.” I don’t give him any time to protest. I give him a confident smile and storm through the house and out the front door, down the cobblestone path.
My flip flops crunch the grass with each hurried step. It’ll be more fuel to the fire when I meet him face to face. He’ll berate me for wearing open toed shoes to the barn, but I’ve lived here all my life and I know how to get around a horse without them stepping on me.
The old me would’ve welcomed the darkness, but now…there are too many monsters.
I cross through our makeshift neighborhood, which consists of four houses. I avoid the house my father built for me to stay in, because there are too many horrible memories surrounding it. Shoving my hands in the pockets of my jeans, I hurry down the grassy hill and head toward the only barn that’s lit up.
I hope I catch him before he heads up to the house.
Horses in the field ignore me and graze without paying me any mind. Barn number three, the barn exclusively housing our horses is the only barn with the lights on. When I step into the empty breezeway, my heart aches at what I left behind.
I thought I knew it all. But they don’t judge.
A hoof pawing impatiently against the concrete grabs my attention. I pick up the pace and find my best gal on the crossties.
“Hi, gorgeous.” I creep closer to her and rest my head on hers. “I missed you.” My mare is sassy. Everyone else calls her a psycho, but I know better. She’s the best horse around, and she has character.
Her soft mane slips through my fingers. She relaxes at my touch and leans against me.
“I’m sorry for leaving.”
“You can’t be here without a waiver.” The voice from behind me sends me a mile in the air. I spin to face the unfamiliar voice behind me.
Intense, cutting, icy blue eyes stare angrily at me, like I did something wrong. But then he sees what everyone else sees.
“Did you run away from somewhere? Do you need to call the police?”
I slowly back up to create as much space as I can between us.
“I already talked to the police.”
He doesn’t need to know about the FBI agent who is up the hill.
He has this Prince Eric thing about him, just less…nice. His wavy black hair is disheveled, like someone was running their fingers through it minutes ago. He doesn’t smile though, I think if he did, it would be terrifying.
“And?”
Well excuse the fuck out of you!
“It’s taken care of.”
He sighs and places his bag in the lawn chair next to Coley. My skin crawls as he looks me up and down.
“Have you ever been to a barn before?” he asks condescendingly.
He doesn’t know who I am. Which can either be a curse or a blessing.
“Let me give you your first lesson. You can’t wear fucking flip flops. See these?” He picks up Coley’s foot and traces the front of her hoof. “All she’d have to do is take one step and she’d break your toes.”
Thank you for mansplaining that to me, jerk.
Yet, my eyebrow arches as high as it’ll go—the only trait I inherited from my mother.
“Go up to the main house. Ask for Betty Lou. She can get you set up with whatever you need. If you want to come back down here, you need to sign a waiver and wear some boots.”
My silence fuels his anger. I don’t care. He doesn’t scare me. I’m not here for him anyway. And I’m not moving just because he told me to. I’m past that life now. This is my new beginning—for however long it might last.
“Okay, you’re not going to listen. Cool. Steve should be here any minute. He can take care of you. Stay out of the way. This one is a psycho.”
Anger pools in my belly. All women have to be psycho, eh?
“She’s not a psycho. She’s misunderstood.”
He chuckles poisonously and starts tracing the planes of her back.
“She’s a psycho. I know plenty of mares like this. This one kicked out a whole panel of fencing because the golf cart with her food on it wasn’t moving fast enough.”
That’s my girl.
“Doesn’t make her psycho.”
“You’re right. It doesn’t. But almost killing a rodeo clown does.”
It was an accident and not her fault!
“Clear that pasture out before anyone else figures out there’s no fencing. We’ll fix it tomorrow.”
My body locks at the sound of my father’s voice at the other end of the barn. The grouch watches me with a smirk. He thinks I’m gonna get it.
He isn’t wrong.
Chris and Daddy talk to each other so intensely they don’t even notice me standing here. Daddy stops in front of Coley and talks to the grouch and points at me.
It’s a weird thing. My father and I have this telepathic way of communication. Not literally, but the way he’s looking at me now, I know I’m in for a world of hurt.
“Holy shit, Peanut! What the hell did he do to you?” Without a beat, Chris shoves the lead rope into my father’s hands and envelopes me in a tight hug.
My burns singe at the contact, causing my eyes to water.
“I’m sorry.” It doesn’t matter how many times I say it. It won’t ever be enough. “I’m so sorry.”
“Aria.” My father’s voice is like a spell. It breaks Chris off me so quickly it’s like he wasn’t even there. He hands the lead rope back to Chris and steps toward me. I shrink under his angry stare. I wrap my arms around my father before he can lay into me in front of everyone.
“I’m so sorry, Daddy.”
“How long?”
Slowly backing up, I can’t seem to find my words. Chris stares at Daddy like he’s crazy, like he has no idea what he’s talking about.
“A year.”
His hazel eyes, the ones only I inherited, fill with rage, and then glance at the grouch behind him. Who is this guy?
“And you escaped? Just like that?”
“No…I contacted the FBI. There was already an investigation opened. I was able to give them evidence and they arrested him this morning—”
“And when he makes bail?” His voice steadily rises higher. He’s pissed. He’s more pissed I’m bringing danger to his front door. He already made bail.
“Look, there’s an FBI agent up at the house. He wants to talk to all of you, but he’s going to be around for a while.”
“What is it I always told you and your sister? If you want to be strong, learn how to fight alone.”
Which is why he took us shooting every weekend. He pawned it off as female empowerment. Maybe it was. It obviously didn’t work for me.
“You relied on that ass to take care of you, and yet he beat you to hell, now you’re relying on the fucking FBI to clean up your mess!”
I swallow my tears. I refuse to cry in front of him. Doesn’t he realize I already am beating myself up for all of this? His stupid quote has been running through my mind since Charlie decided he’d take corrective punishment into his own hands!
“I’m sorry, okay?” Like always, it’s the wrong thing to say.
“It’s time to sink or swim, kid. You’ve already squandered away your second chance at life. D
on’t squander your third.” He angrily storms out of the barn, leaving me with my brother and the grouch.
“He doesn’t mean it,” Chris says softly. I love my idiot brother. The class clown, the heart breaker. But he’s wrong.
“Yeah he does.” I sink to the ground and pull my legs up to my chest. What Daddy doesn’t know is my third chance at life is already squandered. The FBI will do everything they can, but the Dodge name holds more weight. They’ll come in the dead of night and slit my throat and call it an accident. The whole world will believe him. I won’t get the chance to live.
2
DEREK
Michelle collapses on top of me as I finish inside her. She pants, our sweaty bodies spent. She rolls over and pulls the comforter around her and turns on her side. She’s gorgeous. She could be on the cover of Vogue or something, but I wish she would leave. I need to be alone.
Maybe I’m supposed to feel something, but I just…don’t. I stare at the ceiling fan, wishing she would get the hint. I’m not subtle. My friends tell me I’m too direct and it hurts the feelings of the many.
I don’t care.
Life’s too short to play games and get up in arms about a simple miscommunication. Michelle knows what we’re doing. No feelings, no attachments, and she shags ass when my daughter spends the weekend with me.
It’s simple. Nobody gets confused, and Zoey doesn’t get attached to a woman who won’t love her.
“That was amazing,” she sighs. I can’t muster a single sound. I’m starving. I’d rather be eating dinner right now. “Derek?”
“Hmm?”
“I wanted to talk to you about something.”
I spoke too soon. I reluctantly sit up and wait for her to drop the bomb.
“So, we’ve been doing this for a few months now…”
“Please don’t beat around the bush. Come out and say it.”
She drops her gaze. I wonder if she is going to regret the next words that fall out of her mouth. I know I will.
“I, um…I know we said no attachments, but, I have real feelings for you. Like, butterflies in the gut, sick whenever I see you around town…”
Make Me Dream (The Sage Creek Series Book 1) Page 2