I could make a run for it now.
That would be stupid. I don’t know where I am and he’ll hunt me down. The only way he’ll let me go is if I’m dead.
“Come on. I want to show you something.” It’s not like he gives me much of a choice. He yanks my arm again and slingshots me ahead of him.
My heart drops into my stomach when there isn’t any ground left to walk on. There’s a hole two inches from the tips of my shoes. Charlie shoves me in, turns the flashlight on his phone on, and tosses it in with me. The bright LED light lights up the hole I’m in.
He ignores my screams.
I’m not in here alone.
I’m with a decomposing corpse who is wearing the same dress his stepmother was wearing the night she disappeared.
“Charlie! Please—I’m sorry!” Oh my God! He’s going to bury me alive! “I love you so much, I’m sorry! It won’t ever happen again!” He snickers and crouches down and smirks.
“She wasn’t a good listener either.” It’s difficult not to disturb her body. Her bones crunch under my two inch heels. I reach for Charlie, but all he does is laugh. “Let’s review expectations again, shall we?”
“Charlie please!”
He leans over, steadying himself at the edge of the hole with his left hand and grabs a fistful of my hair from the crown of my head. He laughs when I cry out.
“List the rules, Aria.”
“Be quiet. Only speak when spoken to. Keep a clean house. No interrupting. Always appear to be busy.”
“I’m adding a new one to the list. Learn your lesson the hard way.” He releases my hair and stands straight. He throws in a water bottle. “I’ll be back in the morning.”
“Charlie!”
“Peanut? Aria! Wake up!”
I wake with a jolt. Why didn’t the alarm go off? Oh no…
I race out of bed and run straight into the wall and sink to the floor. That’s not supposed to be there… The sunlight filters through the big picture window, helping me adjust to the bedroom I spent the night in.
Annie crouches beside me and frowns.
“What happened?”
It was a dream.
“Bad dream.”
She frowns.
“Are you all right?”
I scoff and rest my head against the wall while I try to catch my breath. No. I’m not. But I play the cards I’ve been dealt, right?
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
Annie sinks next to me and pulls my head to her shoulder.
“Was it about Charlie?”
I’m not sharing that part of my life with her. It isn’t fair to her.
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t try to find you, Peanut. I wanted to, but you stopped taking my calls. I thought you were mad at me.”
I close my eyes in frustration. I’m the one who has to apologize. He forbade me from ever talking to my family again. If she came looking, it would’ve been my death sentence.
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have left here with him.”
“You’re here now. You can start over…”
I’m here, yes. Yet my father can’t stand being in the same room with me, I have an FBI agent living in the house my father built for me until the trial is completed, and some guy is living in Jo and Jay’s old house.
There’s too much uncertainty. Too many things in the air.
When I close my eyes, I’m with Charlie’s stepmother. The beetles are crawling over my skin, the maggots are moving in her eye sockets. I still smell the putrid scent of her decomposing body.
It sends a wave of nausea through me. I can’t hold it.
I race to the bathroom and empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet. It isn’t long until I feel my hair being pulled out of my face, though the damage is already done.
“Get it all out,” Annie says softly.
I’m grateful she’s here. But all the while, I feel so damn guilty for bringing my bullshit home. I’m putting my entire family in danger.
Finally, when I stop retching, I lie flat on the tile floor. It’s the only comfort I can find in this state.
“Are you up for some food? I can make you some scrambled eggs…?”
The thought of my sister cooking for me sends me back to the toilet. There’s nothing left to vomit, but my stomach hasn’t gotten the memo.
“I can scramble some eggs. You don’t have to be a jerk about it.” She giggles for good measure.
Annie’s alarm chimes and the front door shuts, rattling Annie’s mirror on her dresser.
“That’s probably Momma. Clean up and then come to the kitchen.” She saunters out, her sandy blonde hair whipping behind her.
I manage to get off the floor, but I grip the sink like a life raft. I squeeze toothpaste onto my finger since I’m too lazy to root around for my toothbrush in my suitcase and rub it all over my teeth to get the taste out of my mouth.
Trudging down the hall, I hear Momma and Annie talking in hushed whispers. Another reason I didn’t want to come home. I don’t want to be the black sheep. I don’t want to be the target of whispers and gossip. Especially when it comes to my own family.
“Good morning, baby. Take a seat. I made you some eggs.”
Annie rolls her eyes and grabs a premade smoothie out of the fridge.
“It’s insulting when you barge in here and cook my food. I know how to cook.”
Momma purses her lips, ignoring her and smiling at me.
“You started cooking?” I ask with a hint of a teasing smile.
“Hilarious. I can cook eggs.”
“And yet, you still turn up for dinner,” Momma teases.
Annie scoffs and shovels eggs into her mouth.
“Can you eat quick Peanut? We have a doctor appointment in town.”
Of course she set up my doctor appointment. Betty Lou is predictable—meaning she knew I’d never go so now she’s going to cart my ass across town and make sure I speak to a professional.
“Doctor appointment?”
“I called Dr. Grigg after you left last night and he said he could fit you in.”
Dr. Grigg, my childhood doctor with the horrible bedside manner.
Awesome.
“Momma…”
“Sweetheart, when was the last time you went to the doctor?”
A real doctor? One who wasn’t paid off by the Dodge’s to keep their traps shut?
“I don’t know. It’s been a while.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but your face looks horrible.”
Cool.
That’s something every girl wants to hear about herself from her momma. I mean, I know I didn’t exactly escape Chicago looking like a Victoria’s Secret model.
“Keep diggin’ your hole, Momma,” Annie teases.
“Oh, hush. Baby, you don’t need to endure the aftermath of this alone. Let me help. Let me hold your hand.”
She’s going to lose her shit when she sees me with no clothes.
“Does Daddy know you’re doing this?”
Momma smirks and washes the pan she used to make the eggs.
“Let me worry about your dad. Eat.”
I reluctantly take a forkful, expecting my stomach to rebel, but once I swallow, I’m suddenly relieved. The ache is fading.
“And don’t worry about Agent Olson. I already told him where you were going.”
“Is he coming with us?” God, I hope not. I don’t need him seeing me naked too.
“No, he said he’s still working the case. He has eyes on the Dodges. Besides, Derek’s office is across the street. He can keep an eye on things.”
I arch an eyebrow.
“The jerk who lives in Jo’s house? Who is he, anyway? And what happened to Dr. Karver?”
Annie giggles. “He’s not bad. You probably caught him when he was in a bad mood.”
“Dr. Karver passed away a few months ago. Before he died, he signed the practice over to Derek,” Momma ad
ds. “He’s sweet.”
A poisonous laugh escapes my lips.
“Regardless, he’s family.” Momma gives me a pointed stare, silently demanding I play nice. That’s all well and good, but I don’t think he knows how to.
“And he gets around.” Annie grins, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Even more reason to stay away. The front door opens, and heavy footsteps cross the hardwood floors.
“Good mornin’, Momma,” Chris says, striding into the kitchen and pecking her on the cheek.
“Good mornin’, baby. Sorry, no more breakfast here, but I’ve got some sandwiches in the freezer at home if you’re interested.”
Pouting, he plops down next to Annie and gently nudges her with his elbow.
They laugh easily, and suddenly I’m a stranger here.
I don’t belong. I should’ve gone into witness protection. At least then I could live with the memories of a happy family.
“I’m gonna shower.” I leave my family as they chat like nothing has changed. But everything has.
The waiting room of Dr. Grigg’s office is freezing and sterile. The women who surround me, women who love to talk shit about me in church, stare at me in bewilderment. Has Aria McKenzie finally driven a man so crazy, he had no choice, but to beat the shit out of her?
Momma sits next to me, leafing through a magazine, paying the old biddies no mind. Several reached for their phones as soon as they saw us walk through the door, to text the entire town.
“McKenzie, Aria?”
Momma pats my knee and hoists herself up. I follow closely behind, trying my best not to look anyone in the eye.
I’m brought into an exam room where all of the invasive processes are done. They measure my height and weight, the nurse tsks at my being underweight, and then I hand over a cup of my urine. Which reminds me, I need to drink more water.
I’m instructed to strip and put on a paper gown. I keep my back hidden from my mother while oh so gracefully tying the back as tight as it will cinch.
Dr. Grigg enters the room timidly five minutes later, shooting my mother a concerned glance, and then to me, obviously uncomfortable.
“Mrs. McKenzie, good to see you as always. Would you mind stepping out for a few minutes?”
Momma’s spine locks straight. He’s only had a brief glance of me. Is he going to kick me out because I scared the old bags up front?
“Um, it’s okay. Momma can stay.”
Hesitantly, he lowers himself into the swivel chair and rolls closer to me.
When I was a kid, he was gruff and rude. Now, he’s gentle, kind even.
“Aria, can you tell me when your last menstrual cycle was?”
“I’ve been under a lot of stress. I haven’t had my period in months.”
He nods and jots something on his clipboard.
“Have you been feeling nauseous? More tired than usual? Tenderness in the breasts?”
What the hell is he getting at?
“Nauseous, yes, but that’s been a part of my daily life for…”
Oh.
Shit.
This isn’t happening!
“We tested your urine. Aria, you’re pregnant.”
My world that’s already fragile, shatters. The jagged pieces fall all around me, splintering on the ground. There’s a Dodge inside of me.
“That’s impossible. I’m on birth control. I’ve never missed a day.”
“Well, the pill is only ninety-one percent effective…” He talks of statistics and date of conception. All I hear is Charlie Brown’s teacher yammering on.
I’ve no tears left to cry.
It’s another nail in the coffin, another way Charlie has ruined my life.
“I’d like to examine the injuries on your back—”
“Momma, can you step out, please?”
Her watery, denim blue eyes meet mine.
“Sweetheart…”
“I don’t want you to see this. Please. I’ll get you when I’m done.”
She gathers her purse and tearfully walks out.
Dr. Grigg unties my gown and starts the exam. He measures each burn and assesses the damage. He measures the long, deep scars from Charlie’s “sexy time accessories” as he liked to call them.
Charlie believed I deserved it. If anyone around town caught wind of this, they’d think I deserved it too.
“I’m prescribing some ointments. It looks like you did a good job of keeping them clean. Do you have someone to apply them for you?”
No. But I’ll figure it out.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
He ties up my gown and crosses in front of me. “Lie back. I’m going to X-Ray your face. I’m concerned about your cheekbone. Do you have any problems breathing?”
“No. I haven’t noticed anything.”
Lie.
“This won’t hurt the baby at all. I’m going to place this lead apron over your chest. Just relax, and I’ll be right back.” He lowers me to where I’m completely horizontal. He moves some machinery over my face and exits the room.
What am I going to do? How will this affect the trial?
A wave of nausea washes over me, but I refuse to vomit. I’m not pregnant. I can’t be.
Clicks and shutters sound off in the room and Dr. Grigg re-enters with Momma.
“The good news is, your cheekbone isn’t fractured, just bruised. The swelling will go down over the next few weeks. Here are your prescriptions…”
My dad is going to kill me if Charlie doesn’t kill me first.
“Let’s go, sweetheart.”
I redress once Dr. Grigg leaves and follow my mom outside.
It’s not like her to be this quiet. If we don’t talk about it, it can’t be real, right?
Momma pulls out of the parking lot and drives down Western Boulevard. She pulls into another parking lot and throws the truck into park.
“What’s this?”
“Were you in the same appointment with me? This is Dr. Cash’s office.”
“Who?”
“The obstetrician Dr. Grigg recommended. He was able to get you in with her right away…”
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
This is real. This is happening.
My eyes water. This can’t be happening.
“Baby…”
“I’m sorry I came home.”
She unbuckles my seatbelt and pulls me closer to her.
“I’m fucking everything up. I can’t win! I’m sorry I fell for him—”
“Stop it, Aria. It has been my greatest blessing you came back to us. This is terrifying, I know, but we’ll get through it.”
I sob on her shoulder, and she kisses my head through the curtain of my hair.
“I don’t mean to embarrass you. I don’t know what I was thinking. I thought he loved me. He said he loved me.”
“You’re not embarrassing me, honey. He’s out of your life now. I won’t let him get near you.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. That’s what I’m afraid of! She would do anything in her power to stop Charlie. But I don’t want her to die because of a stupid decision I made!
“Come now. Let’s go in. Dr. Cash already assured Dr. Grigg the office was empty.”
I don’t bother fixing my face. There’s nothing to fix. My appearance is horrible no matter what I do.
The office is just as freezing as Dr. Grigg’s. Except this office is decorated in pictures of happy families. A gallery wall of people I recognize, people I grew up with, hold their bundles of joy and grin at the sleeping baby, not paying any attention to the camera.
I’m twenty-six. Maybe there was a time I thought I’d have children, but that image was shattered after I brought Charlie home to meet my parents. In fact, it was the night we finally made it back to our apartment in Chicago I had the thought. He was angry about the stories the women at church told about me. Mixed with the fact I didn’t start unpacking the second we walked in the door, and you�
��ve got yourself a terrifying scenario of a man you thought you knew, beating the ever living crap out of you.
I couldn’t bring a child into that chaos.
What about now?
I don’t want to think about this. I don’t want to be forced into a decision I’m not ready for.
“What do you think about these?” Momma asks, appearing beside me.
“They seem happy,” I respond, shrugging with indifference. I hate them. I hate that they get to enjoy this moment and I’m stuck wondering what the fuck to do.
My mother is a devout Christian. This doctor is going to talk to me about my options, abortion being one of them. It’ll break her heart.
But what about mine?
“Aria?” The nurse calls me from the door to the back. Momma gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. I can’t do this without her.
It’s the same spiel. They take my height and weight, make me pee in a cup, and send me off to a quiet room in the back of the damn building with a pat on my ass.
“Sweetheart, what are you thinking?”
I lean back on the exam chair and shift my gaze to the ceiling. Different colored baby footprints brighten up the ceiling tiles. It makes my stomach churn.
“This isn’t happening.”
“I heard a saying once mothers don’t feel like mothers until they hear the heartbeat of their baby.”
“Don’t put that on me, Momma,” I plead. I can’t picture myself as a mother. I’m barely keeping myself alive.
“Whatever you decide to do, we’ll support your no matter what. Even if you decide to…”
The fact she can’t even say it makes me want to break into hysterics.
“You can’t even say it.”
“Abort.” It sounds so dirty coming from her. “This is traumatic. I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to make sure you’re safe and that you feel heard.”
I don’t deserve her.
A light tap on the door makes the both of us sit a little straighter. A woman in a white lab coat enters the room, her chocolate hair in a high pony. She looks mid-thirties, and…kind, which isn’t the norm around these parts.
“Hi Aria, Mrs. McKenzie, I’m Dr. Cash. It’s so nice to meet you.”
I shake her cold hand and try to return her smile.
“I spoke with Dr. Grigg a few minutes ago and I have your chart. Now, tell me about what’s going on?”
Make Me Dream (The Sage Creek Series Book 1) Page 4