“I do when you’re being ridiculous.”
“It’s a good opportunity. I’d be an idiot to pass it up!”
An opportunity that takes Zoey to California while Emily gets to live her best life. Anger surges through my veins just by her presence. I’ve given everything I have to her to be able to have a relationship with my daughter and she thinks she can pull the rug out from under us.
“I’m not from Sage Creek, Emily. I moved here because you purposely got pregnant to spite me. I’ve nearly killed myself getting everything you’ve required or asked for in order for me to have a relationship with Zoey. I’m not letting you take her when she has a life here.”
She purses her pouty lips and it’s now I see her eyes watering. I’m not relenting, and I’m sure as hell not going to let her take my kid away from me.
“I’m putting my foot down. You can take the job if you want to, but you’re leaving Zoey with me if that’s the case.”
“God, was there ever a time you cared about me?”
Is she fucking serious?
“I married you!”
“Oh, what for!” she shouts, pushing past me and settling on the couch. “You picked me up at a bar and it was only supposed to be one night!”
“Am I high? Am I tripping balls right now? Do you not remember the conversation from that night? How I bared my mother fucking soul to you while I spooned you? Are you fucking serious, Emily? I’ve done everything in my power to give you everything you ever wanted. You were the one who stopped taking your birth control out of spite. Now I’m the one who wants to step up for our kid and your first instinct is to turn tail all the way to California for a job you’re not even sure you’ll like.”
“You can’t keep our daughter here, Derek. This town keeps you hostage forever. I want her to have a real chance in the real world—”
“You’re the one who came back! Don’t pretend you’re doing this for her! Have you even asked her if this is what she wants?”
She turns sheepish and drops my gaze. It’s answer enough. Of course she didn’t. Why would she?
“You’d get the summers with her. Winter break, Thanksgiving—Easter, if that’s what you want—”
“You know what, I think it’s time for you to leave because I cannot be civil with you. If you want to talk about this further, then get in touch with my lawyer because I will not let Zoey go without a fight. And I’ll win. I promise you.” I turn on my heel and storm into the kitchen. I make a travel cup of coffee so I have something to do with my hands before I explode at the fact she’s still here.
“We don’t need to get the lawyers involved,” she says quietly, entering the kitchen.
“I don’t have energy to play your games, Em. I’m done. I’m serious. Contact my lawyer and we’ll start getting the ball rolling.”
Taking her defeat, she trudges out the door. I’m not able to expel the breath I’ve been holding until I hear her car back out of the driveway. I make a mental note to get in contact with Logan to clue him in, since the bastard’s my lawyer.
Before leaving the house, I grab my gun and a few boxes of ammo and head over to Aria’s house.
I’m no ray of sunshine. Hell, even my friends tell me I’m miserable to be around sometimes. This is important. I don’t mind being the bad guy if that’s what makes her safe. And besides, It gives me an excuse to hang out with her even if it’s for an hour. And for that hour, she’s safe.
I knock on her door, dumping my gun and ammo on the side table, just in case she thinks I’m going to shoot the place up.
“Derek! What are you doing here?” Jackie appears behind me, her arms full of grocery bags and duffle bag.
“I could ask you the same thing…” Jackie O’Brien is my only friend outside the McKenzies in this town. She’s my assistant, yes, but I particularly enjoy the bond we’ve formed. She was never a flavor of the night, though I suppose at one time, she was somebody’s flavor of the night. One who lives on this property.
The door opens and the sight before me scares the shit out of me.
Her dark hair is tied up in a bun, but it doesn’t matter. It’s falling out. Her skin has a greenish tinge. She drowns in the heavy gray sweater and sweatpants. Even her feet are covered.
“Are you okay?” The words tumble out of my mouth, but I already know the answer. She’s not okay. She’s…sick.
“Peachy. What are you doing here?” She steps aside for Jackie to come in, but immediately blocks the door with her body.
“I wanted to take you shooting again.”
She scoffs and leans up against the doorframe. “I’d like to. But later. When I’m not knocking on death’s door.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like hell.”
She gives me a thin-lipped smile, totally sarcastic.
“And you look like you need a shower. Don’t throw stones at glass houses.”
I sigh impatiently. One of these days, the two of us are going to be friends. But I don’t think today is the day.
“You use fear as a crutch, Ace.”
“Are we going to fight again? Because what I’m fixin’ to do is projectile vomit all over you if so.”
A grin breaks through my defenses. She doesn’t mean harm, I don’t think. She’s just not feeling well.
“Can I help you with anything?”
“No. I have Jackie. And if you see Olson around, tell him I’m not up to visitors today.”
“Anything else?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“Yeah, kick rocks.”
“Aria, I’m sorry for last night.”
It’s almost like she hasn’t heard that phrase before. Her bottom lip trembles, her eyes go glassy.
“I’m not trying to be a dick. I’m trying to help.”
She wraps her hand around the doorknob as she considers my peace offering.
“You were right,” she says softly. “I don’t know how to act around everyone else. Which I guess rubbed off on everyone else and now they don’t know how to act around me.” She lifts her gaze to mine, offering a small smile. “You said you wanted to be friends, right?”
“You agreed to that. I’m your friend so I’m allowed to throw it back in your face.”
One single “ha” escapes her mouth.
“Right. I’m feeling like absolute shit right now, but I should be better after I eat. Would you like to come in? Jackie’s making soup and I’m binging Community.”
I should turn tail and spend the rest of my weekend at a distance. But I don’t. I accept her invitation and follow her into the living room.
Jackie makes herself at home by washing the vegetables she’s using and situating herself at the island in the kitchen. She narrows her eyes at me while she watches me sink into the big, green, ugly sofa next to Aria.
Aria bundles up under two blankets and folds her legs under her, resting her head on the arm of the sofa.
I’ve only ever been in Annie’s house once. Jay and Chris invited me over and Annie insisted on cooking—which we all regretted a few hours later. Without Annie’s presence, which I assume Aria finds comfort in, I struggle to figure out the McKenzie lying next to me.
Annie takes after her mother in style. It’s that trendy farmhouse style with giant clocks and shabby milk jugs. I’m pretty sure the trend started on this property. This stuff looks ancient, like it could’ve originated from the McKenzies who once lived here.
I don’t see Aria as a trend follower. I guess that’s what I’m trying to reconcile. I don’t know this woman from Adam. I don’t know what her style is like, or whether she’s always this abrasive.
Jackie clears her throat and motions for me to meet her in the kitchen.
“Can I help you with anything?” I ask.
She shrugs absentmindedly, her attention being driven away by a naked Joel McHale. Fine. I trudge into the kitchen and reach for the stock pot Jackie points out for me to grab.
“What a
re you doing?” she whispers.
“You asked me to get this down for you…”
“No, idiot. What are you doing here?”
“Were we not in on the same conversation? She invited me.”
“Derek, you’re my friend, but you’re also my boss and I have to say, I really want to hit you right now.”
I reflexively take a step back.
“Why?”
“She’s not like your Michelles or Brandys. She just got out of an abusive relationship. She doesn’t need you around to confuse her even more.”
“I can hear you,” Aria’s tired voice carries through the small, open floorplan.
She pulls the blankets off and shuffles into the kitchen, wrapping her arm around her best friend.
“I’m not confused in the slightest. Dr. Hawthorn is a friend, and it won’t ever be more than that.” She grins at me. But what is this sinking feeling in my stomach?
Jackie narrows her eyes.
“Are you sure, babe? Because I can kick him out right now. He’ll try to fire me, but he knows he can’t run the practice without me.”
She’s right. I would have filed for bankruptcy if Jackie hadn’t stayed.
There’s something special about this Aria McKenzie that turns everyone around her into the biggest, baddest, guard dog.
“I’m sure.” She offers a hesitant smile while Jackie sends me a warning glare. Don’t worry. This woman is off limits. I’ve received my threats and can take it like a man.
Probably.
I’d be lying if this didn’t pose a challenge for me. However, I’m coming to the realization that being one of those guard dogs for her, has me craving her presence. Aria sighs and grabs a water bottle from the fridge and flounces back to the sofa.
“You have nothing to worry about. I promise.” Jackie purses her lips and chops a carrot.
“I know I have nothing to worry about. Because you’re a smart guy. You know what would happen if you crossed me.” She points the knife at me, a sinister smile soon following.
Yeah. I got it.
I find my way back to the sofa and focus my attention to the TV.
“Can I ask you something kind of personal?” Her voice is strained, like she’s been yelling all night. She dares not to look me in the eye, however, something about how still she holds her head on the arm of the sofa tells me she wants to see my reaction.
“You can ask. I might not answer.”
Her parroted words force a smile.
“What made you change your mind? I mean, when you said kids weren’t a part of your plan with your ex-wife…what changed?”
My mind flashes to the moment Zoey was born. She looked like an angry potato, but once I held her, my heart changed.
She wasn’t a burden.
She’s the sole person I’d go to war for in a heartbeat.
Emily’s hormones crashed hard once Zoey was out. We stayed for days longer than necessary because they weren’t bonding. Which I guess looking back on it, it was the precursor to their relationship together. They can’t stand one another, even still.
I stayed up and did the feedings while Emily slept. Holding Zoey in my arms, I made silent promises to her that no matter what, she would be the center of my universe. She could count on me for always being there.
I miss her.
“She was mine.” Her hazel eyes blink and water. “I held her in my arms, and I knew she was going to change me for the better.” I shrug because it’s the simplest truth. “When it comes to the people I love, I’m flexible. I’d do anything for Zoey or my brothers.”
I’d do anything Steve McKenzie asked me to because he’s my commander. He pulled me out of the darkest pit in my life and gave me a place to call my own. He’s taken my child into his family and treats her as if she were blood.
She nods quietly, fidgeting with her fingers.
Why the sudden interest? She hasn’t made any point to get to know me and now she’s asking something so profound?
“So…you’re sick?”
“It’s a bug. Like I said, I’ll feel better once I eat.” She stretches and sits up, turning off the TV. “I don’t want to be a sitting duck. Contrary to what my father believes, I’m not a complete waste of life.” I involuntarily flinch at the harshness of her words. “Charlie will find me. He and his father will make sure I don’t get a future, but…I think I want to live whatever life I have left.”
Is she asking for help?
“What are you asking me, Ace?”
“I’m not entirely popular around these parts, and I’m okay with it.”
“I’m not hearing a question.” I give her a teasing smile, which makes her green cheeks redden.
“I want to shoot more. I want a schedule where I can practice.”
Not where I thought where this was going…
“Are you asking me for help?”
A nervous giggle escapes her.
“I didn’t want to overstep. You don’t know me well enough, yet…I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with.”
Jesus Christ. She thinks she’s a burden.
“I’ll help you.”
Immediately, her whole face lights up. It’s nice to see her smile after seeing her angry and distraught.
“I’d like that a lot,” she replies bashfully, her cheeks flushing in approval.
14
ARIA
17 weeks pregnant…
My eyes fly open for some strange reason. It’s pitch black, and while I scan the room to see if anything is out of place, I come up empty. Jackie slumbers next to me in the fetal position. I sit up and reach for the bedside lamp when I hear it. A shuffle. A rustle against the chair under the window.
“Don’t.”
One spoken syllable. One voice I was assured I’d ever hear again, shatters my illusion of security. An FBI agent who promised me nobody would get through his security systems is proven wrong.
“Don’t turn the light on, Buttercup. You don’t want to wake your friend.”
Instinctually, I glance at Jackie, and place my hand on her back so I know she’s still breathing.
Sweat beads in my hairline, my breathing runs a race against itself, not able to catch up. I reach for the gun in my nightstand, but I freeze when I feel his body next to mine. My hand is picked up and moved back to my person, and the drawer of the nightstand is slammed closed.
“That would be a mistake.”
This can’t be happening. I’ve been too careful. I haven’t picked up any of his calls.
“There’s an FBI agent in the house next door, Charlie. The property is quiet. If I so much as scream, he’ll be over here faster than you can choke me to death.” It’s a hollow threat. The house is only one story, and my house isn’t close enough for them to hear me scream. It’ll alert Jackie at the most, but what could she do?
“Yes. Agent Nathan Olson. I noticed him around quite a bit, but I couldn’t put my finger on why he took an interest in you.” My heart pounds in my ear as adrenaline fills my veins. I could jump over Jackie and make a run for it, but I don’t think I’d make it far.
I’m trapped. And I’m going out the same way I knew I would—at the hands of Charlie Dodge—literally.
“But you won’t scream, will you, Aria? You know better.” Now. I know better now. Unfortunately for him, I have too much fight in me. I want to live. I need to live.
When I don’t say anything, he steps closer to me, fisting his hand in my hair, forcing me to meet his terrifying icy eyes.
“You’ve been busy, sweetheart, haven’t you? Telling fibs to the government, hiding the real truth. Did you tell Agent Olson about the guard you killed when you tried to escape the first time?”
My mouth dries at his words. I did. I told Olson, but he told me not to worry about it. He would handle it.
“Come home, Buttercup. I miss you.”
He misses his punching bag.
“I am home, Charlie. And as soon as you walk out
the door, I’m calling Agent Olson and I will tell him every single one of your hideouts.”
“Do it. I dare you.” His icy hand grips around my throat, and his stale and hot breath washes over my face. What awaits me if I do? Why is he so confident being here when he’s breaking the protection order?
I reach for my phone, but he takes it away and sets it gently on the nightstand.
“You would do it, wouldn’t you? Did you forget how much I love you?” he asks quietly.
“You never loved me.” It comes out as a whisper. You never loved me. It repeats in my head like a mantra. I was a pawn. I was a challenge. I was the eager twenty-two year old woman, fresh out of college, eager to please the big boss.
“You reminded me so many times I wasn’t good enough. I was never going to make it. That’s not love, Charlie. I refuse to let you make me think otherwise.”
“It’ll be different this time. You have my word. If you come home with me right now, it will be different. You’ll have an allowance. You can come and go as you please. You’ll have your own room. I won’t touch you.”
The exhausted side of me begs me to leave with him. Why worry about this kid when you know the Dodges will take care of it?
I’m exhausted. But I’m not stupid. The only person who can ensure I have a good life is me. I may not have the Dodge money, and my family might not be so impressed with me at the moment, but I have too much drive to be under anyone’s thumb ever again.
I don’t need Charlie anymore. I don’t need my mother and father to clean up my mess.
I can do this.
“Go home, Charlie. I’m not going with you.”
“You’ll regret this.”
I’m certain he’s right. Maybe I will.
My alarm shrieks. It’s still dark outside and my phone is still plugged in. Jackie stretches and cracks her eyes open.
“Good morning, Peanut. Sleep good?’
No. No I did not.
I don’t answer her, too terrified to hear what comes out of my mouth. I gather my outfit and change in the bathroom. My head is pounding and when I close my eyes, I feel his stale breath on my neck, waiting to literally devour me.
Make Me Dream (The Sage Creek Series Book 1) Page 12