“Are you okay?”
I stop for a moment.
I feel fine. For the first time since I came home, I don’t feel the doom and gloom that follows me like a dark cloud over my head. I feel…normal.
“I’m okay,” I reassure her. When I meet her gaze, she stares at me like she doesn’t believe me. “Really, I am. He was nice.”
“I’m sure he was. Don’t get too attached, Peanut. I’m not trying to rain on your parade, but Derek isn’t the type to settle down.”
My blood starts simmering with anger. This is like high school all over again. Annie tells me what to do as if I’m a clueless idiot.
“I don’t want to be with him.”
She furrows her brow and frowns.
“It was just sex. It was a one time thing, and I can confidently say it’s not happening ever again. He was there to take the edge off, and that’s it.” I turn on the stove and turn away from her, glowering at the backsplash while she tries to figure out her next words.
“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping, but—”
“Annabelle,” I growl.
The silence is welcome. It gives me a minute to calm my nerves. If this gets back to Daddy or Chris, we’re both dead. If it gets back to Momma before Daddy or Chris, she’ll be planning a wedding.
“Aria, I’m looking out for you. You just got out of a shitty relationship. You’re pregnant with another man’s baby—”
“Is there a reason why you keep throwing that aspect in my face?” She takes a timid step back. “Don’t you think those thoughts are constantly swarming in my head? I fucked up, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”
“Come on, you know that’s not what I meant.”
“I am a human being.” When those words topple out of my mouth, the weight of them crashes down on me. I lean against the counter and bow my head.
I’m a human being. I have feelings that I feel deeply. I have a heart that has been lonely for too long. And I have a brain that has been manipulated for everyone else’s benefit.
“At some point, I need to move on. And I can’t do that when you keep talking about Charlie. I’m here for a fresh start. And yeah, maybe I won’t ever date again, but I refuse to be shamed for taking the edge off when my hormones are everywhere.”
I turn away from her and flip the pancake. Annie storms out of the room, and that’s when I know the shit is about to hit the fan.
When the pancakes are done, I take one on the go and quickly change into new clothes before heading down to the barn.
I’ve opened lessons up for jumping and I have three lessons lined up for the day. Everything is going to start picking up once school is out for the summer, but for now, this is fine.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and out of habit I pick it up.
“Buttercup.”
It’s like a bucket of ice water is dumped over me. His slimy voice still has that effect. And now I’m kicking myself for not looking at the caller ID.
“Don’t hang up. You’re going to want to hear what I have to say.”
I swallow, unable to form any sentences anyway. I turn to face my house, in case Nate is watching.
“Acknowledge me.”
“You aren’t supposed to be contacting me, Charlie. This is going straight to the FBI.”
“I’m counting on it.”
Shit.
“You were hospitalized.” When I don’t answer, he continues. “Are you all right?”
I wish I had some sort of comeback lined up. But for whatever reason, when it comes to Charlie, I’m powerless. I still turn into that terrified woman from a few months ago.
“Answer me.”
Instead, I hang up. He’ll only have to do a little more coaxing before I tell him everything. I turn on the do not disturb feature and shove it into my back pocket. I’ll deal with it later. And maybe now it’s time to take this information to Nate.
When I arrive at barn number two, the place is empty except for its inhabitants. I start turning horses out to the pastures so I can start mucking the stalls. When the barn is empty, I plug my phone into the dock and blast Led Zeppelin to drown out anyone who approaches me.
I need to lose myself, and I can only do that through music since I can’t ride. I start on George’s stall since it’s the farthest away from the entrance.
Two hours later, footsteps walk along the breezeway. I step outside to see who’s here and am pleasantly surprised to see Jo. Her face lights up when she spots me and jogs over to me.
“Hey, darlin’. How are you today?”
“I’m fine. What’s going on?”
“I was hoping you weren’t busy. Do you think you can spare an hour or two and come into town with me?”
I have so many stalls to do, but I think I can spend extra time after lessons to get the rest of it done.
“Sure. I can’t take too long. Annie and I got into a fight, so I doubt she’s going to show her face down here which means we’ll be short staffed.”
“No problem. I won’t take too much of your time, then. Let’s get going.”
Jo pulls into the old paper mill off of Western Road and throws her truck in park. Dozens of construction trucks surround the place. They’re adding on to the existing building, making it twice as big.
As dumb teenagers, we used to sneak in here at night and mess around. Annie used it as her make out spot since Chris caught on to her shenanigans about using his window to sneak boys in.
But now…this is something else. The bricks are being restored and the front steps are being power washed. She motions for me to follow her to the side entrance.
The place is gutted. The cement floors are clean now, and it looks like they’re finally putting up drywall, leaving one side of the building with exposed brick.
“I wanted your opinion on a few things.”
“Jo, this is your baby. My opinion doesn’t matter.”
She waves me off dismissively.
“We’re putting in magnetized doors with bullet proof window paneling in the front. Our waiting room won’t be huge, because my plan is to not having the women and children waiting for long. Five minutes tops. This is going to be their fresh start, so I want to paint the walls something cheery, but not too obnoxious. Do you understand where I’m going with this?”
Sort of.
“I think so. You want to make it comforting, but not overwhelming.”
She nods, chewing nervously on her bottom lip as she silently visualizes it.
I visualize it along with her. I can see a reception area, possibly with a small refrigerator for water bottles and juice boxes for the kids. A bookshelf filled with a variety of books.
“Right,” she whispers, almost too quietly.
“You don’t want them waiting too long, right? So maybe it would be smart to have a few unassigned empty offices behind the security door so you can get all of their intake information. You could stock them with small refrigerators, a snack cabinet, a white noise machine until they can get their bearings…”
Jo grins.
“Oh, I like that a lot. That’s a great idea. Perhaps we can give them ten minutes to breathe before we start intake information. Then they can at least satisfy their hunger, until lunch or dinner, and they can talk to us without their bellies growling.”
I nod slowly and we walk deeper into the mill. The addition isn’t completed yet, but she tells me it will be a cafeteria, a computer lab, and a library on the bottom floor. The top floors will be residences.
“What do you think about setting up a volunteer program?”
I hesitate, finding the correct words to express my concern.
“They’re risky. If it were up to me, I’d make them sign non-disclosure agreements, and everyone would need to be thoroughly vetted.” I shrug timidly as I continue. “I know if I had the opportunity to go to a women’s shelter, I wouldn’t trust anyone at first. I think that’s a hurdle we can get out of the way this early in the game. We vet each volunteer,
full background checks, NDA’s, and training.”
Jo smiles mischievously.
“You said we. Multiple times.”
I groan.
“Well, it was a thought. You said you wanted my opinion…”
“I want more than that, baby.”
My eyes snap to hers.
“Look around you, sweet pea. This is the place that should’ve been around for you and me. Nobody knows what women like us need. The only ones who do have been through it. I want you to be my partner in this. Help me make this place so the women and children out in the world have a place to start over.”
“Jo, I’m not qualified for this. I’ve been out of work for a year and half. I don’t know how to run a women’s shelter…”
“And you think I do? I’m going off the seat of my pants, baby. I know you’re a hard worker. When you get passionate about something, you churn out the best ideas. You get behind it one hundred percent and let me tell you, everyone can feel that. Look at the riding school. That was your idea and it’s still profitable today.”
I stare at her in disbelief.
“I majored in English.”
“I have a high school diploma,” she retorts and shrugs. “I’m not going to ask you to make a decision right now, but I hope you’ll think about it. This is going to be an amazing place. I just know it. You’ll get paid—we have grants from The Live Oaks Foundation, so salary isn’t an issue.”
My head spins as she tells me all of this. I need a job. I have to support this baby somehow. And what happens if Jo gets tired of me? What if I don’t remember what it’s like to work in an office again? I don’t even have supervisory experience!
“I don’t have experience, Jo. I think I’d end up disappointing you.”
She nudges me playfully in the ribs and smirks.
“That’s why you have me. I don’t know what I’m doing either. But I think we’re living, breathing proof there is life after abuse. We’ll learn together.”
Hope builds in my belly.
“Okay. I’m in.”
Jo squeals in delight and throws her arms around me.
“I’m so happy to hear that. You start Monday. You can come over and we’ll start building our standard operating procedures. This is going to be great!”
When I get back to the barn, all of my stalls are done. Derek and Nate step out of Theo’s stall in deep conversation until they notice me standing in the middle of the barn. I smile, showing them I hold no hostility especially after the bullshit they pulled this morning.
“Boys,” I greet, closing the distance between us and crashing their party.
“Aria, we need to talk.”
My insides shut down one by one. I already think I know. But I’d like to live in ignorance just a moment more.
“Okay…”
“Maybe you should sit down, Ace,” Derek cautions.
“Spit it out.”
Nate frowns, sharing a concerned glance with Derek, and then turning back to me. “Charlie has escaped house arrest.”
I raise my eyebrows, waiting for the “psych!” But it doesn’t comes.
“What do you mean he escaped? He’s wearing an ankle bracelet. Shouldn’t you know exactly where he is?”
Nate shifts his weight to the other foot before speaking again. “The ankle bracelet was tampered with. The signal was offline when the bracelet was removed. He hasn’t been seen since the blackout. He didn’t take any of his vehicles and the FBI has extensively searched his father’s house for him.”
Derek was right. I should be sitting.
“He wouldn’t have gone to his father’s house,” I say quietly.
No. He would’ve come straight here, if he isn’t here already. I’d bet this entire farm he took the money from his safe and is living off that while he pays in cash under different aliases.
“We’re bringing in other people,” Nate assures me, but in reality, it does the opposite.
“The other guys from our unit. Joey, Tanner, and Logan. Delgado already works for the FBI, so he won’t be coming, but you can trust those three,” Derek says softly.
More babysitters.
More people watching my every move.
“I promise you, Ace, he isn’t coming onto the property without one of us knowing about it. This is going to end soon.”
“You were right,” Nate says, lowering his gaze to mine. “He knows about the baby.”
And so, this is how it ends. I get a dream job, and my ex-boyfriend is above the law, already on his way to end my life.
30
DEREK
It takes forty-eight hours for the rest of my brothers to get here. They’re aware of the situation, and they know to pretend they don’t know Steve. Aria has tuned everyone out, except for Zoey. Zoey seems to be the only person Aria can be herself with. And when I turn the corner and find them mucking Coley’s stall together, I stop at the door and grin.
“She’s putting you to work, eh, Zo?”
Zoey grins.
“I asked if I could help and she said yes.”
Aria’s gaze remains on the shavings around her, continuing her task as if I’m not here.
“That was nice of you. But I have something to tell you.”
Zoey stops what she’s doing and leans against the wall.
“Are we going to the bookstore?”
She makes me laugh, and it brings a genuine grin to Aria’s face.
“Uncle Joey and Uncle Tanner are here. They’re waiting for you at home.”
Zoey’s face lights up and quickly turns to Aria.
“Is it okay if I say hi? I’ll come right back. I promise.”
“No worries. I appreciate the help. You don’t need my permission. Only come back if you want to, okay? I’m almost done and then I have to get ready for a lesson.”
Zoey doesn’t have to be told twice. She books it out of the stall and runs towards the house. I enter the stall and pick up Zoey’s pitchfork and help Aria with the rest of the stall.
“You don’t have to that, you know. I’ve been mucking stalls since I was old enough to walk.”
“I know. But I want to.”
She heaves an exasperated sigh. That’s right. I’m not going to disappear. We work in silence for a few minutes before she stops and turns to stare at me.
“Derek, what are you doing? Don’t you have a real job?”
“I do, but I have company. And they’re all being assholes and eating all my food.”
She snorts and rolls her eyes.
“That’s a rookie mistake, inviting them over. Of course they’re going to eat all your food. You should be more like me and be a recluse so you have all the food to yourself.”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
She rolls her eyes and ignores me.
“In all seriousness, Ace, how are you doing with all of this? I know it’s overwhelming—”
“That’s putting it mildly,” she spits poisonously. “Everyone around me tells me it’s okay to trust people I don’t know. My sister knows what we did and is treating me like I’m clueless.” She sighs. “I’m exhausted. And I knew this day was coming where he would come after me. None of this surprises me, by the way.”
“Do you trust me?”
She turns and frowns.
“Derek…”
“It’s okay if you don’t. But I want to tell you, you can.”
She grips the pole of her pitchfork tight and stares at me in disbelief.
“So Annie knows?”
“Yeah. She gave me a ton of shit for it too. We’re currently not on speaking terms.”
I chuckle and continue my task, giving her enough room to feel comfortable.
“I had fun.”
She sighs.
“I did too,” she murmurs.
I turn to face her and grin at the longing in her eyes.
“You still feeling put out?”
She rolls her eyes and smiles.
“A little.”
I lean my pitchfork against the wall and approach her, cradling her head in my hands. Her eyes show no fear or indifference. In fact, they show me she wants me too.
She stands on her tippy toes and presses her lips to mine, her tongue tapping my bottom lip for entrance.
My tongue dances with hers, her breath tasting like caramel coffee and pancakes. I swallow her sighs and slowly press her against the wall.
“You can’t start just to stop,” she pleads.
“This is too public. Your dad could walk in any minute and he’ll shoot me without blinking.”
She giggles and rolls her eyes.
“I thought you were adventurous, Dr. Hawthorn.”
“I’m adventurous, McKenzie.” I shove my knee in between her legs, her core like molten lava. I kiss her again, threading my fingers through her hair and gently pulling her head up so I have access to her porcelain throat.
I press my lips to her pulse, and she whimpers with desire.
“Please, Derek. You’ve already opened the flood gates and if you stop I might cry. I’m not above begging.”
My erection presses painfully against my zipper at her desired pleas. I pop the button on her shorts and gently push them down.
“This has to be quick,” I tell her, though her eyes are closed and a smile spreads across her full, pink lips.
“Do it. I can be quiet.”
God, I hope not. Her moans are the heaven my dreams are built on. Her juices coat my index finger. I lick my finger, so I can have a quick taste of her. I want more, but we don’t have the time. Her pupils dilate at the act and her pulse nearly beats out of her neck. I pull her panties down and turn her around.
She grips the bars of the stall and arches her back. Her full and curvy ass beckons me to plunge deep inside of her. I pull down my jeans far enough if someone comes down here, I can pretend I was taking a piss.
I tease her with the tip of my cock, coating me in her slickness.
“Derek, I’ll murder you if you don’t—oooh….”
Good God. She’s so fucking tight. She grips me like a vice, and it takes me a moment for my vision to stop swirling.
“I love how wet you are for me,” I grumble in her ear.
Make Me Dream (The Sage Creek Series Book 1) Page 23