by Anita Waller
‘Yes, I didn’t come in the ambulance. I… I guessed I’d have to make my own way home.’
David’s heart lurched as he watched Dawn walk out of the hospital. That woman totally and honestly loved John but because of misguided loyalties they were denied the right to share their lives.
The ward sister took him to John’s bedside and left him for a minute. ‘He’s sleeping,’ she whispered, ‘and he’s in no pain. Will you be contacting his wife?’
‘You know the problem?’
‘And no-one else needs to know.’ She nodded. ‘The day staff will presume he was brought in by his wife, I don’t think questions will be asked. I understand you’re telling Mrs Thornton he had the attack at your home?’
‘I’m just going to ring his in-laws – his daughter is staying with them.’
‘I think they should come.’
‘But I thought…’ David raised his eyebrows.
‘That he was out of danger? He’s stable. Heart attacks are very unpredictable. The first few hours after an attack as bad as this one are always the worst – but, the consolation is that he’s responded well to the treatment. Fortunately he’s kept himself in good shape.’
David briefly touched John’s hand before going to find a telephone.
Initially, Ken had been against waking Lauren. They had a lengthy discussion about it but Brenda clinched it.
‘And what if John dies? What if she never sees her dad alive again? Could you live with yourself, Ken?’
Consequently it was almost half past five when they woke Lauren. She listened carefully to what they were telling her and then quietly put on her jeans and top.
She told herself it wasn’t necessary to panic, Dad was in good hands at the hospital. Thank goodness he had been over at Uncle David’s and not at home on his own.
In the car she cried.
‘Tell me he’s okay. Tell me he won’t be dead when we get there,’ she sobbed.
Brenda, sharing the back seat, put an arm round her.
‘Hush baby, of course he’ll be okay. Uncle David said he was stabilized in intensive care. He’ll be monitored all the time; they won’t let anything happen to him.’
‘And what about Mum? Didn’t she leave a phone number?’
‘Probably with your dad but not with us. She’ll be home in a few hours and we’ll be there to meet her. Now come on, your dad won’t want to see you like this. We have to look as though we’re not worried at all.’
They were allowed in to see him briefly. John lay surrounded by tubes, drip feeds and monitors bleeping quietly into the night.
Lauren willed her own life into him.
‘Live, Dad,’ she prayed. ‘Live, and I promise I’ll be there more for you.’
Brenda felt sick as she stared at the man she loved as a son. He’d stuck with a difficult marriage, never had much of a life with Amy and now he was reduced to this at such a young age.
Ken merely stared and wondered. Where had John been when the attack had happened? With David and Pat or at that smart cottage in Delabole where he’d seen the BMW parked on several occasions? While the cat’s away…
He volunteered to go and wait for Amy’s return leaving Brenda and Lauren to try and get some more sleep at home.
Brenda had given him specific instructions about what to say, about breaking it gently to Amy.
‘Kid gloves, I promise you… and I’ll tell Mark as well. He’ll be shocked – he knows John better than anybody.’
Mark was devastated at the news.
‘Intensive care? Was he on his own?’
Ken shook his head.
‘No, he was at David’s, thank God. I don’t like to think what would have happened if he hadn’t got help quickly. It was a bad one.’
‘So you’re waiting here for Amy?’
‘Yes. We thought it the right thing to do. I’ve just seen her note but I don’t think I should ring the Grand. I don’t want her to drive down here worrying about John.’
Mark wondered if she would worry about John and he moved around to the computer.
‘It’s a good job I’ve a fair bit of work to do but if I know John, he’ll carry on writing even in the hospital.’
They looked at each other as the sound of gravel crunching on the driveway indicated a vehicle had pulled up.
‘Amy?’ Ken raised his eyebrows in query.
Mark nodded.
‘Sounds like her car. Want me to make myself scarce?’
‘No, I’ll take her into the lounge.’
They met in the hall and Amy didn’t bother to disguise her dislike of him.
‘Ken – something wrong?’
‘Come in here, Amy.’ He held open the door leading into the lounge and she went by, a puzzled expression on her face,
‘Is it Lauren? Has she had an accident?’
‘No. Lauren’s fine. Now sit down.’
‘Oh for God’s sake, stop it Ken. I’m not a silly little woman who falls to pieces. What’s wrong?’
‘It’s John. He’s in hospital. In intensive care. He was at David’s last night and suffered a bad heart attack. I’ll run you to the hospital if you want.’
‘Heart attack? John?’ She stared at him.
‘That’s right. Brenda thought it would be better if you didn’t drive, so I’m ready when you are.’
‘What time’s visiting hours?’
‘On normal wards, it’s seven until nine at night but John’s in intensive care. We can go now.’
‘Well, thanks for telling me.’ She took off her jacket and dropped it onto a chair. ‘I’ll go tonight. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Ken, I’ve got work to do.’
As Ken walked towards his car he found himself wishing John had been at that cottage in Delabole, with whoever she was.
45
He slept through most of the first day and his first conscious impression of having a visitor was when he opened his eyes and saw Amy.
‘Amy?’
‘Hi…’ She leaned across the bed and placed a kiss on his brow. ‘Did one of your characters need to have a heart attack?’
‘What?’
She smiled. ‘Write about what you know – rule number one.’
‘This might go into a book. I take it I’m still alive?’
‘You’ve scared everybody else to death. But yes you’re still alive. It’s a good job you went over to David’s or I might not have been able to visit you at all, other than in a funeral parlour.’
‘David’s?’ He looked puzzled, his brain not properly in gear.
‘I thought you were at David’s house last night?’
‘Oh, God, yes. Was it only last night?’ His mind cleared abruptly and he saw a brief vision of Dawn’s horrified face as she dialled for the ambulance. She must have orchestrated a cover up.
‘You’re right, I did.’ He spoke slowly, wondering just what she had been told. ‘I fancied a bit of company and I wasn’t feeling brilliant. I can’t remember much beyond that. Except it hurt.’
She took his hand and squeezed it sympathetically. ‘You really did frighten me, you know.’ Her voice was soft.
‘Have they told you anything?’
She shook her head. ‘Not yet other than they’re pretty sure you’ll survive.’ Grinning, she added 'you’d better survive, you’re halfway through a book and we’d like to know what ending you’ve got planned.’
‘Me too,’ he said.
‘I’m not staying long – there’s quite a queue of people waiting to see you and I think a certain daughter of ours is nearly tearing her hair out with worry.’
She bent to kiss him once more and moved to the doorway. ‘I’ll try and get in to see you tomorrow, John.’
It was only as she left the room that her words permeated his brain. Try and get in?
Lauren was tearful and clinging.
‘Hey,’ he said into her hair that was threatening to choke him. ‘I’m not going to die. Your old dad’s a fighter.’
&nb
sp; ‘But you’re not old,’ she wailed. ‘Other people’s dads don’t have heart attacks at your age.’
‘Yes they do, honey, and we have to learn to live with it. But don’t worry, I intend doing everything they tell me.’
Ken held tightly to Brenda – he knew without having to be told that she was very close to tears.
‘So, you’ll not be helping me in the fields in my old age,’ he said with a smile.
‘Not for a couple of weeks…’
‘Dad!’
Brenda moved to take the young girl in her arms. ‘Come on, Lauren, I think we should go now. We’ll be back tomorrow but I think your dad needs his rest right now.’ She turned to face John. ‘And as for you, you lie there and do nothing. No pen, no paper, no Dictaphone. And no telephone. Mark’s looking after things at home so you don’t need to fret.’ Her voice dropped slightly. ‘We love you very much, you know, so just take care.’
‘I promise,’ John said, his eyes already closing.
It was five days before David managed to smuggle in Dawn and Josh.
‘Well,’ she said after the longest kiss she had ever known, ‘I thought you were supposed to be at death’s door!’
‘I was.’ He grinned. ‘It didn’t open.’ He turned to his son. ‘Good to see you, Josh.’
‘Dad – did we cause it?’
‘What?’
‘The heart attack. We saw you that day, didn’t we? Was that what made you ill?’
‘Don’t ever think that, Josh. All the signs were there – I just didn’t recognise them. I’ll know next time, though.’ He sounded rueful.
‘Next time?’ Dawn looked startled.
‘Hey, stop panicking. I could be seventy-five before I have another one. And if things do get worse there’s always treatments like coronary artery bypass.’
‘You’ve talked about it then?’ Her eyes clouded over as she struggled to come to terms with what she was hearing.
‘No, just listened. There’s others in here with the same sort of thing. But I’ll be fine, honestly. A couple more days and I’ll be home. Did you do something with the BMW?’
David laughed. ‘Don’t talk about it. Amy rang and said she was going to ask Mark to run her over to our house to collect it. I flapped, I can tell you. I got straight on the phone to Dawn who scooted over with it. Pat then took her back home. Amy and Dawn missed each other by oh… all of thirty seconds I would say.’
Moving around the room, David took Josh by the arm. ‘Come on, Tiger, let’s go down and see if we can find a coffee bar. See you at the car in fifteen minutes, Dawn?’
‘Fifteen minutes,’ she smiled.
They waited until David and Josh had left the corridor before turning to each other.
‘God, I was…’
‘Dawn, I…’
They laughed. There were tears in Dawn’s eyes as she folded herself against him.
‘I was going to say how much I’ve missed you and how damn worried I’ve been. You’ve never been ill before... I couldn’t believe it was happening at first. David’s been a rock. He’s telephoned every day with news but it’s not been easy, John. Being the mistress isn’t much fun when it’s a situation like this.’
He held her close to him and kissed the top of her head. ‘And the ironic thing is that you love me. Amy doesn’t feel anything for anybody. The strain’s showing with Ken, Brenda and Lauren, but Amy…’
‘And it’s showing here,’ Dawn said softly. ‘I couldn’t live without you, John. Wouldn’t even want to try.’
46
John’s enforced idleness following his heart attack had reflected on Mark. There was no longer the daily rush to complete a section of work; although John still wrote every day, the number of words was greatly reduced.
Amy’s attitude towards Mark had soon reverted to normal and she now left him to take care of himself. Mark left nothing to chance and five years on was still carefully monitoring everything that John did.
‘It’s nearly two o’clock, boss. Go for your walk.’
It had become a standing joke between them that John’s daily car drive was his walk. John told him that the reason he went out in the car was to go to a different beauty spot every day and then walk. In reality the car took him to Delabole.
‘Nearly finished, Mark.’
‘No, not nearly finished. Finished.’ He was firm as he took the pencil out of John’s hand and John looked at him.
‘One of these days I’m going to take one of those expensive silk ties and pull it very tight. Probably on a day when you wear that purple yellow and red one.’
Mark laughed.
‘Greta would help you. She hates that one as well. I personally think it all adds to the image – suave, debonair, a certain flair for fashion…’
‘Is that what you think?’ John raised his eyebrows in query. ‘And just when are you going to make an honest woman of Greta? It’s time we had a wedding round here.’
Mark blushed.
‘It won’t be me who provides the wedding. Greta and I are ok.’
‘What do you mean it won’t be you who provides the wedding? Is there something I’m missing?’
‘Well, I don’t like gossiping, as you know, but Lauren seems pretty keen on Pilot.’
John laughed, the relief obvious on his face.
‘Phew… for a minute you had me going there. No, Pilot’s just one of the crowd she knocks around with. There are always other people about when she sees him. Besides, she’s too young to have a serious boyfriend.’
‘Spoken like a true father, John. I think I ought to point out that Lauren will be twenty in November. Didn’t you marry Mrs Thornton when she was only eighteen?’
‘Yes, but…’
‘But me no buts, John Thornton. Greta and I went to the sports centre last week. Pilot was there. So was Lauren. No friends, just the two of them and obviously in love.’
John pushed his chair away from the desk. He remained silent for a moment and then smiled.
‘Well, I don’t want anyone taking my daughter away from me but I must say if it’s got to be anybody, I’d like it to be Pilot. Wonder if Amy knows.’
Mark refrained from saying he doubted it.
‘Don’t say anything to Lauren, boss. She’ll know it’s because I’ve told you. Let them come to you in their own time. Now, are you going out or not? I’ve work to do even if you haven’t.’
‘I’m going, I’m going.’ He stood and moved towards the door then turned. ‘You’re sure -?’
‘I’m sure I saw them together, yes. Go away, John and take things easy. Got your tablets?’
John patted his jacket pocket.
‘As always. Wouldn’t dare go without them. I’d never forgive myself if I died because I hadn’t got them with me. I’d miss your nagging.’
Mark threw a paper clip. ‘Out! I’ll see you tomorrow morning.’
‘We’ll have to tell them sometime.’ Pilot smiled into Lauren’s beautifully anxious face and then pulled her close.
‘It’s not “them” collectively that bothers me. It’s Mum. Why can’t we just carry on as we are?’
‘Because you nearly had kittens when we saw Mark and Greta last week. If it were out in the open that we’re closer than friends, it would take away all that hassle. We don’t need to tell them everything…’
She giggled.
‘I should hope not. I can see it now – oh, Dad, just thought I ought to tell you, I’ve lost my virginity…to Pilot. He’d string you up.’
‘Regret it?’ He tilted her face to his and kissed the tip of her nose.
‘Not for one minute. I love you.’
‘And I love you, so let’s tell them.’
The sigh was long and drawn out. ‘Whatever you say. What shall we tell them?’
He pulled her closer and they began to walk down to the harbour wall. ‘How about – we’re engaged?’
‘But we’re not.’
‘We could be.’
; She didn’t reply for a long time. Reaching the wall she sat down and stared out across the harbour, the last of the daylight slowly disappearing with the screech of the seagulls.
‘Well?’
‘Is this a proposal?’
He dropped to one knee and held her hand loosely. ‘Lauren Thornton, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife? Please?’
Again the giggle prompted by excitement.
‘Be serious, Pilot. Are you really proposing?’
‘I don’t get down on one knee to just anybody, you know. Of course I’m proposing.’
‘I don’t know what to say. I’ve never been proposed to before.’
‘I should hope not. So do I get an answer or are you going to prevaricate all night?’
‘Don’t use big words at me. Can I think about it?’
‘No.’
‘Then I suppose I’ll have to say yes.’ She turned to him. ‘Yes, yes, yes! Although, goodness knows what they’ll say. I don’t want to get married though.’
‘But you’ve just said…’
‘I know what I’ve said. Mum and Dad are married and from what I’ve seen I don’t want that, not for a long time anyway.’
He took hold of her hands.
‘But my mum and dad are married and for them it’s totally worked. It all depends on what you’re like as a person. Your mum –‘
‘Do you know,’ Lauren said, ‘I used to think it was Dad’s fault. I used to think he worked such long hours that they grew apart. But that’s not it. Mum’s got no idea how to make a marriage work.’
‘We have but I’ll give you whatever time you need. You’re not your mum, Lauren. You’re Brenda’s product really and look at her and Ken. Tomorrow we’ll go shopping for a ring and then we’ll tell them.’
‘We’ll tell Brenda and Ken first – I owe them that. And we’ll start looking for a place to live.’
‘But you said…’ he looked bewildered.
Her grin was wicked. ‘I said I wouldn’t get married. I didn’t say I wouldn’t move in with you.’
He groaned in mock horror. ‘I think I’ve just changed my mind about all this.’