Feeling good once they hit the new songs, she signaled to the band to break it down and do an impromptu jam. The rising swell of her guitar was met by Jude's steady rhythm. Playing off each other, she kept her eyes on his, forgetting they were surrounded by thousands of strangers.
He slowed down the beat and she interlaced notes between his playing. Showing off, he played a complicated rhythm she was sure he heard from her heart's pounding. The music soared with increasing intensity until she caught Dylan's eye. When he nodded, letting her know everything sounded great, she suddenly realized where they were.
Lucky transitioned back into the song, playing the last few bars. Jude controlled the change effortlessly as they brought the song to climax with the echo of their instruments. The crowd exploded, leaving her breathless with surprise and a longing for Jude she had never felt for anyone before.
After the show, feeling like she had shared something so personal in front of so many people, Lucky beelined to the dressing room. She needed some time alone. Taking deep breaths to collect herself, she sat down as she heard a knock on the door.
"Come in," she called out, figuring it was Jordan.
Putting her head in her hands, she tried to focus on anything else and calm herself down, but her heart still pounded wildly.
"I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed or not," Lucky said. "I just totally got into playing with Jude and forgot about the crowd, everyone else. It just felt so good, so intimate. It’s hard to explain. Sometimes I wish you were a musician too so you'd understand better."
"I more than understand," Jude said. "I feel the same way."
Surprised, she straightened when she heard his husky voice and turned to see Jude quickly crossing the room towards her. As she stood up, he met her. Their lips collided. In one swift movement, he picked her up and cleared the top of the vanity. His lips never left hers.
Between being so close to him on the bus and their connection on the stage, Lucky thought she would never get closer to Jude than that. It was a tease. She had dreamed about him for so long that just having him near felt like foreplay. If he hadn't shown up in her dressing room, she was afraid she might jump him on stage.
Spreading her legs as she sat on the vanity, she pulled him close, feeling his hard manhood through his pants against her panties. He pressed her against the cold glass of the mirror. She was so excited she could barely breathe.
Feeling her heart beating throughout her entire body, she gave herself into it. She pulled off his shirt then slid her hands over his sculpted chest and over his tattoos as if she could feel them. His skin was slightly damp with sweat from the show and without thinking, she sucked on his shoulder, wanting to taste the saltiness of his skin.
Moving his hands over her thighs, he pushed her dress up further as his lips sought hers again hungrily. She grasped his back firmly, surprised at how hard he felt under her hands. Feeling his strong hands move under her soft legs, her core throbbed knowing he was so close to her.
The cold of the mirror against her back contrasted with the heat of his body in front of her and drove her crazy. It was the one thing that kept her grounded in reality. As their tongues explored each other's mouths, she moved her hands between their bodies and found the waist of his jeans.
After she fumbled with the button of his pants, he undid them for her. She had never done anything like this before, but she wasn't thinking about that. She wanted Jude so badly, nothing else mattered.
Looking at his body, her eyes moved down to where the trail of hair under his belly button disappeared into his open jeans. Pushing his pants open more, she grazed his hipbones and thought about biting them.
He pushed his jeans down and stepped out of them as she stared at his large erection, her cheeks flushing. He stepped closer to her and moved his hands up her thighs to her hips. Wrapping his fingers around the thin band of her polka dot bikini panty, he began sliding them down her hips. She lifted her bottom from the vanity as he took them off her.
She felt the cool air against her wetness and her breaths grew more shallow. He slowly slipped his body between her legs again, his intense gaze never leaving hers. Kissing her again, he pressed her against the mirror so his body crushed hers.
She wrapped her legs around him and could feel him against her throbbing entrance. As his mouth left hers, she bit his lip, not wanting him to go. His lips moved along her jawline to her ear.
"I've wanted you for so long," he whispered.
She couldn't believe it! Jude Morrison, the man of her dreams, the one she wrote every song for never thinking she'd even meet him, wanted her!
His fingers traveled up her inner thigh and her breath caught with anticipation as they moved closer to where her legs met. Letting her body guide her, she spread her legs a little more.
He slid his fingers over her clit, and she moaned. She felt her body immediately react, coming to life. He slowly rubbed and she closed her eyes, lost in the intense feeling.
As he rubbed, she clutched his back more as she felt all her senses heighten. Her body tingled all over. The throbbing at her core grew more insistent.
With his other hand, he slid the straps of her dress down, exposing her breasts. From the chill air and the excitement, her nipples were hard, almost aching. He slid her bottom closer to the edge of the vanity, then continued rubbing her as he bent his head down and slowly moved his tongue over her nipples.
She gasped, feeling his warm mouth on her breasts. Her head spun and she felt completely out of control but loved every second of it. She didn't know how much more she could take.
His fingers left her and she felt the thick head of his erection pressed against her entrance. Spreading her legs more, she couldn't wait to feel him inside. His mouth left her breasts and he looked deep into her eyes.
"Tell me if I'm hurting you," he said.
She nodded, unable to speak. Her breath caught as she finally forgot she was with Jude Morrison--rock god--and only thought of him as the man she kept falling in love with. Real love. Not the kind of love she had when his poster hung on her wall.
His hand moved up to cradle her back as he slowly entered her. She cried a little at the pressure which felt so good, and he stopped.
"More," she gasped, unable to say anything else.
As he rocked his hips, letting her get used to him before slowly inching farther inside her, he moved the fingers that were rubbing her to her hip. He pressed her close to him, his other hand still on her back.
Moaning, she felt him completely inside her, his body so close she could feel his heat. He slid his thumb over her clit and began rubbing a little faster than before.
Her entire body responded to him. She felt herself begin to shake as pressure mounted inside of her. The tingling spread throughout her body. Rubbing her faster, his cock moving within her, her breath caught in her throat. She didn't know what was going on, she felt everything heightening even more. She clutched and grabbed at him, holding him tight.
"Just let go, Olivia," he whispered in her ear.
Focused on his husky voice in her ear, she felt herself relax then the pressure set free like a dam bursting. She gasped as every inch of her body seemed to come to life at the same time.
Feeling her core tighten around him, his hand at her back, he clutched her even tighter against him. He growled and she felt him throbbing within her, meeting her tightening muscles as he came inside of her, his breath ragged.
He kissed her neck, her cheeks, her forehead, before moving back to her lips as he cradled her face in his hands. She smiled at him as he picked her up off the vanity and sat down, holding her in his lap as they caught their breaths.
"Shit!" he said. "I can't believe how stupid I am."
"What's wrong?"
"I was so caught up in the moment. I wanted you for so long and after that jam on stage, I just couldn't hold back anymore."
"And that was wrong?"
"I forgot to wear a condom."
She didn't know what to say. It wasn't something she thought of either.
"Let's get back to the hotel. You're staying with me tonight," he said.
His crooked smile still made her heart leap. She was afraid that if they did it, that feeling would go away. It was then that she realized she loved him. Not because he was Jude Morrison, but because he made her feel things she never felt before.
20
Jordan
As the bus inched through the traffic on Sunset Boulevard, Jordan watched the palm trees lining the street go by. She wished she told Lucky about the job offer and everything, but seeing her work so hard on her songs, Jordan knew Lucky didn't need the distraction. She'd have a chance to share her news soon enough.
Wearing the nicest outfit she brought with her, a sleeveless sheer front black tunic with flocked skulls, a black longline bra underneath, and a pair of black leggings, Jordan was ready to meet with Ian. She planned to take a cab to Ian's to see the apartment and talk more about the job. She wished the tour bus could move faster. She didn't want it to look obvious to Lucky that she was going anywhere.
Sitting by the window with Dylan beside her in jeans and another black t-shirt, she grew more nervous as it seemed they'd never make it to the studio. Ian was expecting her and she didn't want to be late.
"Geez, I could walk faster," she muttered to herself.
"Did you say something?" Dylan asked.
"No. Well, yes, but not really. Just that I could walk faster."
"Nervous?"
"Duh."
When the bus finally reached SIR Studios, Dylan pulled Jordan aside as everyone got off the bus.
"Did I do something?" he asked.
"No. Why would you think that?"
"I really thought you'd ask me to go with you."
"I didn't think you'd want to. Plus don't you need to rehearse?"
She really didn't understand him. Why would he want to come with her? Not asking him was her way of letting him off the hook. She knew once the tour was done they were history anyway. At least that's what she convinced herself.
"Yeah, but I can get some time away. I won't let them know. Besides, last I checked with Lucky, she still wanted to add some final touches to the new songs before we learn them."
"Okay, if you really want to come."
"Listen, I know you'll never admit it, but this is important to you. And if it’s important to you, then it’s important to me. If you don't want me there, just say so."
"No, it’s not that I don't want you there..." Jordan said as she tried to look away from his piercing brown eyes.
"Then what is it?"
"I…I guess I'm just not used to this. I'm not used to someone wanting to be there."
"Then get used to it."
Dylan was right, Lucky needed more time for the new songs so the band had a break before rehearsals. Jordan really wanted him to go with her, she just didn't believe anyone would really want to. They took a cab out to Ian Taylor's warehouse studio in Santa Monica.
As the cab drove onto the narrow Santa Monica street, Jordan thought everything looked different. Bright sunlight reflected off the pale grey exterior of the warehouse and a warm breeze swayed the palm trees. She got out of the cab, paid the driver, then looked at the address again.
"What's wrong?" Dylan asked.
"It looks different than last time. Was it always so pretty?"
"Looks the same to me," Dylan said and shrugged.
"Really?" She looked around and listened to the nearby crashing of the waves on the beach. "I guess I was in my own world."
As she opened the large warehouse door, Jordan felt her heart racing. She didn't believe she was qualified to help Ian, and she worried the trip to meet with him would put an end to all her hopes of having a new job and a place to live.
Inside the warehouse, black-out curtains were drawn over the windows to keep the sunlight out. On a black draped set in front of a green screen, Ian had a model wearing a light blue bikini and a white Russian fur hat while holding a bottle of vodka. As Jordan approached, she saw on the monitor that the green screen was being used to shoot her in front of a snowy background.
Dressed again in dark slacks, but this time with a pale pink button down shirt, Ian instructed the model what to do as he continued taking photos. Jordan didn't speak. She didn't want to interrupt, so she and Dylan stayed out of the way as she waited to talk with Ian.
"It's about time, Pixie Girl. I keep my stuff over there," Ian said as he motioned with a jerk of his head towards a couple of other cameras next to lenses and filters. "Give me the Nikon with the 55mm and an 81A. Now."
Jordan quickly got the camera ready and brought it over to Ian. As he took it, he leaned in and whispered in her ear.
"Get it out of your mind that you're not good enough. You think anyone else here would've even understood what I just asked for?" Standing straight, Ian went back to barking. "Pixie, upstairs. Go, go! I'm busy here. Make yourself useful."
Grabbing Dylan's arm, she led him up the stairs where they entered a small hallway with two doors. There was an envelope with her name on one of the doors. The envelope contained a note and a key.
"What's it say?" Dylan asked.
"Just that he thought I'd rather look at the apartment without him hovering and to make ourselves comfortable. He'll be up as soon as he's done."
"He seems like a jerk. You sure you want to work for him and live so close to him?"
"Things aren't always as they seem."
She grinned at him as she unlocked the door. The apartment was small but bright, with floor-to-ceiling windows that lined the entire side. Looking past the tall palm trees, she could see the Santa Monica Pier and the ocean.
As they walked through the apartment, their footsteps echoed on the recently varnished wood floors throughout the sparsely furnished apartment. The living room only had a couple of old, yellow striped chairs and an ancient TV. In the corner by the kitchen was a card table with two folding chairs. Lastly, the bedroom had an air mattress rolled up in the corner.
Jordan walked through the small apartment several times. "It's absolutely perfect," she said, unable to stop smiling.
"I can't keep doing this, Jordan. We need to talk. You've been pushing me away since I told you I love you."
"I told you, I need time."
She covered her face with her hands as tears began to sting her eyes. Sitting down on one of the upholstered chairs, she took a couple of deep breaths as she tried to regain her composure. It was no use though. Every time she looked at him, her heart pounded in her chest. She realized then that she could lose him.
"I don't want to lose you," she whispered.
"You're not going to."
"Yes, I am. I know I am. As soon as this tour is over, you'll go away again. You'll meet someone new. And she'll probably be taller and prettier and less fucked up than me."
"I don't want to meet anyone else. No matter how much taller than you they are," he said as he kneeled on the floor in front of her, as he held her hands and smiled.
She laughed and wiped away a runaway tear. "I'm trying to be serious."
"Then listen to me. My entire life I've been going from one place to the next. Now I finally have a reason to stay put, to be in one place, and that place is with you. I can't imagine my life without you."
"But I can't promise you anything," she said. "I know you want to live together, but I know where that leads. I love you, but I can't even think like that. I can't look into the future."
"Do you want to be with me?"
"More than anything."
"Do you want to see me every day?"
"I want to sleep in your arms every night."
"Then we don't have a problem," he said. "I promise I won't push all that other stuff. We can take it as slow as you want."
"I promise I won't wall you off or push you away. I just need to get used to seeing myself through my own eyes, and not my parents'."
"Well,
in my eyes, you're perfect."
Ian knocked on the open door and entered.
"I don't mean to interrupt. Is the apartment okay?" Ian asked.
"It's perfect," she said. "It really is. I'm so grateful, Ian. Thank you."
"I'm glad you like it. It's available whenever you're ready to move in. You can start work then, too."
"Sounds good. Dylan and I will move in after the tour," Jordan said as she realized she was the happiest she had ever been.
NEW YORK STATE OF MIND
21
Lucky
Lucky smiled as she woke to Jude kissing her neck.
"You could turn me into a morning person if you keep this up," she said, keeping her eyes closed.
He laughed and threw the blankets back and began tickling her. She playfully slapped at him, trying to push him away, but it was no use.
"Okay, okay. I'm up," she said.
"Good. Get ready, I want to show you around before we have to be back for the show."
She watched him get out of bed and walk across the room naked. She enjoyed the movement of his muscles, the bit of color from his tattoos, the view of his butt as he left the room.
She quickly dressed so he wouldn't see her naked, too. She couldn't explain it, but all her usual insecurities about her body were there when he wasn't around. When he was there, he made her feel beautiful.
She pulled her hair up into a large bun, put on an oversized t-shirt, then wondered where they were going. Did she need to dress nicer? Hearing the shower turn on, she entered the bathroom.
"Where are we going?"
"A couple of places."
"Like?"
"It's a surprise. I know you've never been here before. Wish we had time to take in a show. Just dress comfortably."
"Okay."
Leaning against the counter, she watched the suds slide down his body. She grinned then immediately turned away, trying to hide it from him.
"I saw that."
"You saw nothing," she said as her cheeks began to burn.
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