She curled her arms around my neck, looking up at me. “A real date?”
“Yeah.” I kissed her and she giggled. “A real date.”
“You already know what I’m going to say.”
“I need to hear it.” I put my hands on the small of her back.
“Yes,” she sighed, leaning into another kiss. “I’d love to.”
“When?”
She rubbed my shoulders. “Impatient are we?”
“I’ve been in purgatory for a month.”
She turned somber and quiet. “So have I.”
“How about tonight?”
“It’s the middle of the week,” she said.
“So. Do you have plans?”
“No. But I do have to get some work done today.”
“Okay.” I kissed her again and squeezed her hand. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“Hey!” she called after me when I walked away.
I turned around. “What?”
“Where are we having dinner?”
“Oh,” I chuckled. “I’ll text you the place.”
“Okay.” She smiled big enough for me to see those dimples. “Don’t forget your father’s tie.”
“Oh right.” I grabbed the bag and looked back at her, running straight into the wall.
“Carter, are you okay?” She touched my arm and giggled, trying to hold it in.
“Yeah.” I scratched my head. “I’ll be all right.”
“Tonight, I’ll kiss it better,” she said.
I pulled her into my arms and hugged her close.
“You really have to go.” She put her hands on my shirt. “I have to work. Get out!” she laughed.
“Yes ma’am.” I kissed her goodbye and left without hitting the wall this time.
The rest of the day, I walked around with a sappy grin on my face. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt like this. Since the night we met, I’d been running from any kind of relationship with Bailey. But the moment things changed, I felt free. She made me happy. What was so wrong with that?
I got off work early and went back to my place. For so long, she’d felt out of reach. But I’d been standing in my own way since the day we met. I was so glad I’d finally moved aside and let her take the lead.
WE WERE MEETING AT a fancy restaurant in SoHo. After all her disaster dates, the last thing I wanted to do was take her to my restaurant. I wanted to have dinner with her somewhere new, where we had no history, no memories. We could start fresh. And I’d try to keep myself from screwing it all up.
I took a cab but asked the driver to drop me off before we got there. Then I walked the few blocks to the restaurant with roses in my hands. When I arrived, I saw her seated at a table inside. I stood there and stared through the glass. The host came out and asked if I had a reservation. I’d called in a favor to get us a table at the last minute. One of the perks of having a bunch of friends in the industry who didn’t view it as a competition.
“Yeah, I do,” I told the host. “Carter Boudreaux.”
“Oh yeah. I have the table ready. Your guest is already here.”
“Actually, umm...” I took a breath and watched her through the glass. She hadn’t seen me yet.
“Is everything all right, sir?” the host asked.
“Yeah. I just umm... I need to check on something. But I’ll be back.”
“Okay.” He looked confused. “Do you want me to tell—?”
“No, I’ll handle that. Thank you.” I turned on my heel and bolted out of there, walking up and down the streets of Manhattan. I ran my fingers through my hair and talked to myself over and over again. I couldn’t get to the right place in my head. No matter how hard I tried. I felt out of control.
After a couple hours, I called Beth. She shouted so much my ears started to ring.
“What are you doing?” she yelled. “Stop torturing that poor girl! Get your ass back there!”
“What will she think?” I said. “It’s embarrassing. This is why I haven’t dated in five years.”
“Stop making excuses and go to that restaurant or I’m gonna come up there and—”
I hung up before she could threaten me. Then I watched the final streaks of sunset disappear.
I’d missed our date. Our real date. The one I’d insisted we have tonight.
I’d been so sure I could handle it. But I was just as weak as I’d ever been.
I circled the block a few more times, thinking about how worthless I really was. Bailey was a good girl, a strong woman, a solid human being. She didn’t deserve someone like me, which was what I’d been saying all along. Selfishly, I’d ignored what I knew to be true. And now she would hate me forever.
I made my way back to SoHo and trudged to the restaurant with my tail between my legs. If she’d had any doubts about me being a flake, I’d confirmed them tonight. I’d ruined everything.
Just like I always did.
I saw Bailey on the sidewalk and froze. She looked at me. I saw anger in her eyes.
She should have been angry with me. I was angry with me. But I didn’t know how to do this.
No matter what I said, she wouldn’t be happy. But I had to say something. I had to try.
Because that was a whole lot more than I’d been doing since the worst night of my life.
Chapter 10
Bailey
I traced my finger around the rim of my cosmo. I had been waiting here for two and a half hours. Like a fool, I kept on hoping he would appear. Blind faith. He had made a mockery of me.
When the waiter returned, I asked for the check in embarrassment.
The place was empty by the time I left. Everyone who worked here must have felt sorry for me. No one asked me to leave. Probably because I looked like I was about to cry.
I stepped into the warm summer night, and the door slammed shut behind me. It shouldn’t have startled me, shook me to my core. But it did.
I felt so tired, drained of energy. Carter had sapped it all away. And he never even showed.
As I trudged down the sidewalk, he came out from the shadows. I stopped and stared, counting exactly how many cosmos I had ordered. But this was no mirage, no hallucination. I guess it could have been a ghost—if he were dead. At this point, a death certificate may be his only path to forgiveness.
“If you’ll just let me explain.”
I brushed past him with my head held high, utterly shattered by his behavior. For so long, I had been searching for a man who was true—someone who wouldn’t lie to me, a guy who would never let me down.
But what was I thinking? Men like that don’t exist. I needed to grow up.
“Bailey.” Carter touched my arm and I froze, electrified by his touch.
My lips quivered as I bathed in his warmth. Finding my strength, I turned around to face him and sighed. “How could you stand me up?” I shoved him back. “You of all people, Carter!”
“Listen, I’m sorry, but it’s not like that.” He was scrambling, desperate, searching for words.
“Well, what was it like?” I cried. “You lead me on just so you can treat me like every other guy?” I backed away when he tried to come closer, putting my hand between us. “I thought you were different.”
“Bailey, if you’d just let me explain.” His blue eyes looked pretty and honest. I felt so stupid.
“Why would you ask me to meet you here? And wait on you, if you weren’t going to show up?”
Carter smoldered and shoved his hands in his pockets. He looked like he was in pain.
“You’re just like the rest of them,” I said. “All you care about is yourself. Well, I’m tired of being put last.” I held onto my purse like it was a life raft. “Maybe I was right. I’m better off alone.”
Carter grabbed me when I turned to walk away. I wanted to storm off and bury my face in a vat of ice cream. But he pulled me into a dark alley and pushed my back up against the brick wall.
His mouth landed on mine like a drop of rain in the
desert. He held me against the wall, caging my body in with his arms. But I broke the kiss and slapped him, hoping it stung.
Carter rubbed his jaw but didn’t move. “I deserved that.”
“Well, let’s hear it,” I demanded. “Were you in an accident? Did someone die? Was there a fire?”
Carter looked me in the eye and muttered, “No.”
“Well then what the hell were you doing when I was here waiting for you? For over two hours!”
“I came,” he started, wincing at the sound of his own voice. “I brought you flowers. I saw you sitting in there by yourself, waiting for me. And I don’t know...” He furrowed his brow. “I guess I just got scared.”
“Of what?” I threw my hands in the air, at a loss for words.
Carter swallowed. “I’m in love with you.”
I searched his face, touching it when he came too close.
“I’ve been afraid to let someone in for so long. So I ran.” He was standing right in front of me—his warm breath on my cheek. It felt like heaven. “But then I realized how much I care about you. I want you. So here I am.” He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “And I’m not afraid anymore.”
“You’ve said that before,” I said.
“I really mean it this time. I’m so sorry. I’ve been a mess for the past few years.”
“Did something happen?”
“Yes,” he whispered sadly. “But I’m not ready to talk about it.”
“Okay.”
“You’re too good for me.” He brushed the hair out of his face, tearing up. “I don’t deserve you.”
My hands slid down his arms as I melted on the spot. There was a ring of truth in his words. I could tell he’d suffered great pain, just by the crack in his voice. It was enough to make me really listen.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know I keep saying that, but I am.”
“Hey.” I touched his face and looked into his eyes. “It’s okay.”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “If I were you, I wouldn’t keep giving out second chances.”
“Well, thank God you’re not.” I gave him a hug. “Come here.”
It was too late now. He had me. I belonged to Carter Boudreaux.
And there was nothing I could do about it.
He traipsed his fingers down my throat and angled his mouth over mine. I put my arms around him and held on tight, savoring the kiss. His lips danced across my jawline and lingered at my neck.
“Thank you,” he whispered, sending chills down my spine.
We needed a subject change. Badly. There had to be a segue out of this.
“I’m really hungry.” I traced his shoulder with the palm of my hand.
“You didn’t order anything?” he asked. “You didn’t eat?”
Holding his gaze, I leaned into his strength and shook my head.
“I’m sorry.” He took my hand. “Let me take you to dinner. We’ll find a place that’s still open.”
“No.” I dragged my heels, pulling back on his hand. “I don’t want to go out to eat.”
He cocked his head to the side, watching as I slithered into his grasp.
I held on to the lapels of his jacket and leaned up to whisper in his ear. “Take me home with you.”
He cradled my head in his hands and brushed his thumb against my cheek. “Are you sure?”
Molding into his touch, I kissed him on the neck and breathed, “Yes.”
One taxi and an elevator ride later, Carter opened his apartment up and led me inside.
My heart ached for him. When it came to the past and pain, I understood completely. Because there were things I wasn’t ready to tell him either. Moments that had shaped me into who I truly am.
He closed the door and pushed me up against it, tasting my mouth like a connoisseur samples wine. As I twisted my fingers through his hair, he took his jacket off and tossed it on the floor. I stood up taller to get out of my heels and he lifted me in the air, helping me slip out of them.
When my shoes hit the ground, he carried me in his arms like an eager husband hauls his wife over the threshold. I braided my fingers at the nape of his neck and kissed him with everything I had in me. He slammed into a wall and I giggled, loving the way he looked up at me with a smile.
He set me down in his bedroom and shut the door. I took a second to look around, admiring his subtle minimalism. When it came to furniture, he didn’t have a lot. But what he had, he took very good care of. My eyes fell to the bed and I blushed, eyeing the soft white sheets.
He swept my hair over my shoulder and kissed the hollow of my throat. I leaned my head back on his chest and shut my eyes, letting him put his hands all over me. It had been years since I had a night close to this. Then again, I had never been in any kind of love that let me have a choice.
Carter traced the curves of my waist and then unzipped my dress. I rolled my shoulders and it fell shamelessly to the floor. When I turned around, he was drinking me in from head to toe.
He made quick work of unfastening his tie, rough and sloppy. I set my eyes on him and grabbed his hands. “Slow,” I whispered, loosening his tie. Triumph rippled through me when it sank to the floor.
His cheek twitched, and I knew amusement had betrayed him. I took my time unbuttoning his shirt, gently releasing each disk from duty. He smoothed his fingers down my arms as I worked. I wondered if I was driving him crazy. After he stood me up tonight, I kind of wanted to.
When his shirt hung loose, I pushed it over his arms and down his back. The garment pooled at our feet beside my dress. He took his watch off and then his shoes, keeping his eyes on me.
He curled me into his arms and lifted my chin with his finger. I gazed up at him with innocence in my eyes. There was so much he didn’t know. But I wasn’t going to tell him about that. Not tonight.
Carter devoured me with kisses—enough to make me swoon—and I fell back on the bed. He turned the sheets down and made sure my head was on the pillow. But the minute his arms were around me, I felt trapped. It was a fear I had hoped years of being single had eradicated.
But I was wrong.
Carter was eager and passionate, drowning me in the heat of his body. I gasped and turned my head away, so he trailed sweet kisses down my neck. I shut my eyes and tried to block out the past. But that’s easier said than done.
His hand slithered up the inside of my thigh, and I recoiled from him like a mosquito dodges insecticide. He gazed at me in confusion, and I hit my head in an effort to run away.
“Ow,” I hissed, sitting up against the headboard.
“Are you okay?” He touched my leg and I flinched. The hurt was written all over his face.
I rubbed my head and put my hand to my chest, finding it hard to breathe.
Carter propped himself up on his elbows. Like a coward, I ducked my head and looked away.
I felt his eyes on me and knew what he must be thinking. Earlier, I had come off so ballsy and bold. So brave. How could I be so forward one moment and terrified the next?
“Bailey.”
I didn’t want to look at him. I couldn’t. It was too embarrassing.
Maybe that was why I had never let anyone in before. Because of this.
It was hard for me. And deep down, I believed there wasn’t a guy out there who could handle it.
“Did somebody hurt you?”
When I finally looked him in the eye, a tear ran down my cheek. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” He looked at the bed. “Is it all right if I hold your hand?”
My lips trembled as a flood of emotion washed over me. I slid my hand across the mattress and put it on his. He turned my palm back and kissed each of my fingertips slowly. One at a time.
“I should go,” I said. “I didn’t mean to ruin your night.”
“You didn’t.” He stroked the back of my hand with a feather like touch. “Don’t leave.”
Carter cupped my cheek in his hand and wiped my tears away. The
n he left a gentle kiss on my lips. I touched his shoulder and looked into his eyes, feeling a sense of renewed hope.
“Do you want some ice cream?” he asked.
I shot him a wide grin and laughed. “Yeah.”
Carter put his pants back on and went into the kitchen. While he was gone, I slipped my arms through his shirt and fastened the buttons. It smelled like him, and I felt more at ease in the fabric.
He returned with two scoops of chocolate ice cream in a coffee mug.
“Thanks.” I took a bite and curled my hand around the ice cold ceramic.
He stretched out beside me on the bed, watching me as I ate.
For the next hour, we talked about work and family. He told me about his friends and the restaurant, and I indulged him on retail gossip from my girls at the shop. Carter was easy to talk to, a good listener. As the night wore on, I valued his kindness more than ever before.
I put the coffee mug down, and the spoon clacked against the rim. Tonight hadn’t gone according to plan. But nothing ever did. Somehow, we had found a way to end up in each other’s arms regardless.
He watched me as I slid beneath the covers and put my head on the pillow.
“These sheets are so soft,” I murmured in the dark.
He lay down beside me as we faced each other. “Beth gave them to me for Christmas.”
“Beth has good taste.”
He touched my cheek, and I longed to be closer to him. Maybe one day, I would be.
“I like being with you.” I wrapped my arm around his back.
“I like being with you, too.”
I buried my head in his chest and let the tears run down my face.
“We can take it slow,” he said. “I’m not in a hurry.”
“Thank you.” I kissed his shoulder as he held me in his arms.
I felt so safe, so protected, so loved. He pulled the sheet over us and rubbed my back.
“You can stay,” he whispered. “As long as you want.”
“What if I never want to leave?”
He lifted my face in his hands and slipped his other arm around me. “Then I won’t have to kidnap you.”
I burst into laughter—the loud, unapologetic kind. It felt so good in my lungs. I’d never been this happy.
An Agreement (Summer in New York Book 3) Page 10