“Your brother is still in love with his wife,” I said. “And I can’t compete with that.”
“What are you talkin’ about?” she said. “You mean, Vanessa?”
“Yeah. He’s been talking about her, and I think he was upset that I looked at their wedding photo—the one that broke. Maybe being here with me just made him think about the life he used to have with her. And it’s nothing like the one we have together in New York.”
“Bailey, I don’t think you understand how Carter feels about you,” she said.
I burst into tears. “Clearly, I don’t. Or we wouldn’t have just broken up!”
She gave me a hug as I cried on her shoulder, wishing her brother would bust through the door.
“What’s the real problem here?” Beth tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “There’s somethin’ else. Isn’t there?”
I thought about it really hard. “The truth is, I’ve never really understood why he would want to be with me.” I gasped as I took a breath. “I’ve never thought I was good enough for him. And knowing he was married to Vanessa, I just don’t feel like she’s someone I could ever measure up to.”
“What are you talkin’ about? Vanessa wasn’t some saint. She got knocked up.”
“I know.” I felt a headache coming on. “But he idolized her.”
“You’re wrong,” she said. “You’re the one he idolizes.”
I met her blue eyes. “Really?”
“Are you blind?” she asked. “My brother is crazy about you. He has been since the moment you met. You’re all he talks about. It’s Bailey this and Bailey that. Guess what Bailey did today.”
“What?” I was shocked, but she nodded. “No.” I couldn’t believe it.
“Yes. Can’t you see?” She shook my shoulders. “He doesn’t want to be with anyone else. Ever. He wants to be with you, Bailey. Only you. So please tell me why you broke his heart? He’s a mess right now.”
My lower lip trembled. “I just thought he would be better off without me. Or happier, I don’t know.”
“Well, he’s not happier, Bailey. He’s miserable.”
“So am I,” I admitted. “It’s just not supposed to be this hard. Relationships, they aren’t supposed to be like this.”
“What do you think they’re supposed to be like?” she asked. “You think Evan is the only guy I’ve ever dated?”
I gave her a look, understanding.
“Bailey, nothin’s perfect. But when you find someone that makes you feel the way Carter does and adores you the way I know my brother does, the last thing you want to do is tell him to go away.”
“I just thought that he wanted someone like Vanessa,” I sobbed.
“Well, he doesn’t. He’s had five years to bring a girl home. And he brought you.”
I sniffled.
“A fashion designer from New York.”
I laughed a little. “Beth, I’m not a fashion designer. I just make a few pieces every now and then.”
She grabbed my shoulders. “Yes, you are.”
“Did I just screw everything up?” I asked.
“I don’t know. He’s pretty torn up about it.”
“He is?” I choked on a few sobs, crying loudly.
“Bailey, it’s okay. Break-ups suck. I would know.”
“No.” I shook my head. “It’s not okay. I want to fix it. I want to fix this!”
“Calm down,” she said. “It’s not that simple. You just ripped his heart out.”
“But I never wanted to!” I cried. “The only reason I felt that way is because...”
“Because what?” She egged me on, teasing the words out. It was hard to admit it to her.
“Your father told me that Carter never wants to get married again,” I confessed.
“What?” she hissed.
And then it all came pouring out of me like water from a broken dam.
“I love him so much. But I don’t know if I can stay in a relationship that doesn’t have a future. Beth, I’d marry him in a heartbeat. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But he’s never gonna want that with me.” I sobbed, covering my face with my hands. “And it’s because I’m not her. I never will be. I’m not good enough for your brother. I let him go, because I...” I stared off, lost in a daze. “I just want him to be happy.”
“Oh. My. God.” Beth got off the bed, blinking several times. Then she started pacing.
“What?” I asked, sensing something was wrong. “What is it?”
“When did Dad tell you this?”
“Tonight, after you and Evan left. We were at the table by ourselves.”
“Oh. My. God.” She looked like she was about to rip her hair out. “I could just scream.”
“What’s going on?” I felt so confused. “I don’t understand.”
“My father told you that Carter never wants to get married again and you believed him?”
“Well, yeah,” I sniffled. “After everything that’s happened this weekend, it kind of all made sense.”
“Can’t you see what this is really about?” she asked. “Why he would tell you that?”
“I know he doesn’t like me. But he’s your father. I just met the man. You know him better than I do.”
“He wants Carter here where he can control him. He wants Carter in the family business, not running a restaurant in New York. He thinks you’re what’s really keeping him there.”
“But I’m not keeping Carter in New York. He’d been living there for years before he ever met me.”
“I know, but you don’t know our father. He’ll say anything to get his way.”
I shook my head, because it was all too much. “I guess I’ve already been feeling so insecure that I would have believed whatever he said.”
“Dad wants Carter in Louisiana. He wants him in the business. Because it’s all about him. He doesn’t care what Carter wants or what makes him happy. The only reason he loved Vanessa is because she’s an heir, too. It’s nothing but bank accounts and stock options for him. You should see how he is at—”
“Wait a minute. What are you talking about?”
“Ever heard of Standard Oil?”
“Yeah... so?”
“Our great-grandfather was a chairman. So was Vanessa’s.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“This is all about power, money, and control. My father is a liar. Don’t believe him.”
“But how do you know he’s not lying?” I asked. “What if Carter really never wants to get married again? He’s been through so much. And I would never try to make him feel—”
“Bailey, Carter was going to propose to you tonight.”
I was speechless. “Wh-what?”
“That’s why Evan and I left early. We were decorating the barn. It was supposed to be a surprise.”
I put my hand over my heart, feeling like a complete fool and a witch for breaking his.
“He’s been wanting to propose to you for almost two months. That’s how long he’s had the ring.”
My eyes filled with tears. It was too much. I couldn’t take it. “Really?”
“Yes, really. He adores you, Bailey. Maybe even more than he did Vanessa. He’s different with you. I’ve never seen him in a relationship like this. But I’ve also never seen him so happy.”
“This whole thing is such a huge misunderstanding,” I cried. “This always happens to us.”
“It’s okay, Bailey.” She rubbed my back. “We’re gonna figure this out.”
“Will you help me?” I cried, scared that I’d lost him for good.
“Yes, I’ll help you get him back. Once you explain everything, I’m sure he’ll understand. We just have to get him to talk to you first. He’s my brother, and he’s stubborn as a mule. But I know what to do.”
“Oh, thank you.” I gave Beth a hug. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
“Hold on, Bailey. Someone is calling me.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket and answered. �
�It’s Mom,” she mouthed to me. “Hey, what’s goin’ on?” She paused. “He did what?”
I waited a beat, anxious to know what had happened.
“Okay. I’m leavin’ right now. Call the police.”
“What’s going on?” I asked, feeling like my heart might beat out of my chest.
“It’s Carter. He’s gone missing.”
Chapter 23
Carter
Dumped. It was too light a word. Because she hadn’t dumped me. She’d murdered me.
Bailey was my last chance at living a normal life. But all of that was over now.
When I made it back to the house, my sister came running out of the barn. “Hey!”
I hated that I had to tell her. I hated that I had to break it to myself. Because it still hadn’t sunk in yet.
“We just finished setting everything up,” Beth said. “Why didn’t you tell us you were on your way?”
I got out of the truck and slammed the door.
“Where’s Bailey?” she asked.
“At the hotel.”
“What is she doing there?”
I saw Evan exit the barn next, putting his arm around my sister. There were twinkle lights in the barn. Great.
“We broke up,” I said.
“What?” she hissed, probably in shock.
“She dumped me.”
“Why?”
“Why don’t you go ask her?” I snapped. “Because I don’t give a damn anymore.”
“Carter.” I heard the panic in her voice as I headed for the woods. “Carter, where are you going?”
“Why don’t you leave me the hell alone?” I yelled, trudging into the wilderness with a bottle of whiskey in my hand. I had a second in a paper sack tucked under my arm. Just in case the first wasn’t enough.
I walked through the trees, getting deep into the thickets. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this.
Bailey was all I could think about. She was probably headed to the airport right now, getting on a plane. She would go back to New York and forget all about me. But her image was burned into my memory.
I leaned on a tree and then sat down, resting my back against it. I took a swig from the bottle and gagged. It was strong whiskey. But I didn’t want to feel anything. I didn’t want to remember.
All of a sudden, I broke down. The tears just kept coming, spilling right out of me.
My mind was on a loop—a never ending cycle of memories. One moving picture after the next.
The night we met. Our first kiss. When she told me she loved me.
The first time we made love. She was so fragile and gentle and sweet. I hadn’t wanted to hurt her.
But clearly I had. Or she wouldn’t have left me. Because I was broken. And she was my last chance at being whole. No point in hoping anymore. My life was over. Because she was gone. Out of my life. Forever.
I kept playing everything back. Was there anything I could have said or done differently?
Would it have mattered?
She’d fit me perfectly. Like a hand in a glove. Pieces of a puzzle. Soul mates.
I meant Vanessa no disrespect. But Bailey was mine.
With Vanessa, it was first love, young love. A part of me would always belong to her.
But Bailey had shaken my soul and stirred a place inside of me that I didn’t even know existed.
There was no replacing her. Bailey Lewis was one of a kind. A gentle soul like her only comes around once in a lifetime. And I knew God hadn’t made two. I’d been given a second chance. And I’d blown it.
I chugged a few gulps as whiskey burned the back of my throat. Then I closed my eyes and thought about those dimples. Her soft, sensual lips. The cleft in her chin. Her long hair and dreamy eyes.
She was adorable. She was beautiful. She was an angel.
And for just a moment, she had been mine.
I cried for a long time, hating myself. Because I had been a fool to walk out that door. Maybe there was something else I could have said. Maybe I should have fought for her, the way she refused to fight for me.
Maybe I loved her more than she had ever loved me. But that was okay. I could take it.
Because it was better than never being with her at all. She had been some kind of woman to love.
I’d never forget her. She’d haunt my dreams into eternity. The worst part? I wanted her to.
After the first bottle of whiskey, I felt pretty numb. So I opened the second, not because I wanted to get drunk. No, I was way past that. I wanted to be so out of my mind that I passed out cold. It would feel good to be unconscious, because then I wouldn’t feel anything at all.
It’s hard to be heartbroken when you don’t even know who you are.
Without Bailey in my life, nothing else mattered. I didn’t care anymore.
I saw water in the distance and followed the stars, tripping over my own two feet. When I got up, my vision blurred. I couldn’t even see my hand when I covered my face. My solution?
Take another drink.
So I took one. Then another. And another.
And by the time I realized I’d fallen in, my head was already underwater.
Bailey
MY HEART WAS BEATING so fast that I couldn’t breathe. Beth had her foot to the floor, but it felt like we would never get there. When we did, I jumped out of the car and searched the plantation. But it was so vast, there was only so much my eyes could see. It was dark and I didn’t really know my way around.
Evan emerged from the woods with a flashlight. “I can’t find him,” he confessed.
Beth shot me a glance and ran to the ATVs. As she got on, I recognized that it was the same one Carter had taken me out on. A strangled sob got trapped in the back of my throat at the thought that I might never see him again. How could I be so selfish to leave things like I had between us? I’d never forgive myself.
“Hey!” Beth shouted. “Are you gettin’ your citified ass on here or not?”
She was stern with me, but I felt like I deserved it. So I climbed on the back and braced myself as she took off. Branches whipped by overhead, as I spotted a full moon in the sky. The stars were out tonight. Looking at them made me cry, because I couldn’t believe I had told him to walk away.
“Hang on!” Beth went over a hump in the ground.
It startled me, probably because I wasn’t used to this. I looked to the right, while Beth searched to the left. But we couldn’t find Carter anywhere. I’d never been this scared in my life. I wanted him back. But more than that, I just wanted him to be okay. I wanted him to be alive. I wanted him to survive.
“Where the hell is he?” Beth was pissed. I’d never seen her so angry.
“Where would he go?” I asked.
“I don’t know.” She stopped for a minute. “When he brought you out here, where did y’all go?”
My mind was racing, because my pulse kept pounding like a drum.
“Where did he take you?” she asked.
“The swamp.”
She turned around and floored it. I held on as the wind cut against my face. When she weaved through the trees, I recognized the lane I’d found the day he brought me here. Then the land opened into a small clearing that led to the gazebo. My eyes tore across the river until I noticed something that took my breath away.
“Stop!” I screamed. “Stop! Let me off!”
Beth hit the brakes and I jumped off, running to the water. I saw a man sinking below the surface. When I reached the bank, my greatest fear was confirmed. It was Carter.
“Carter!” I waded through the river and grabbed him by the shoulders. But he was so heavy. So I hooked my arm around his and dragged him out of the water. Then I turned him over and hit him on the back as he coughed and gagged, finally regaining his breath. He rolled over and opened his eyes with a groan.
“I killed her,” he cried in his drunken state. “I did it. It was me.”
“Carter.” I shook my head, leaning over him. “What are you talking about?
”
“It’s my fault,” he cried, hardly understandable.
“Baby.” I touched his cheek. “You’ve had too much to drink.” I could smell it on him. “We need to get you some new clothes. Let’s go inside where it’s warm and dry.”
“No,” he cried shoving me away. “I want to die.”
“Well, I’m not letting you!” I took his face in my hands. “You’re stuck with me and that’s just the way it is.”
“Bailey,” Beth said.
Carter wasn’t here. It was like he looked straight through me. I’d never seen him anything but sober.
“She was pregnant!” he screamed, sobbing into his hands. “And I killed her! I killed her.”
As he rocked back and forth, I put my arm around him. He buried his head in my chest, letting me hold him. I hugged him to my body, crying over all the pain he’d been through. He didn’t deserve it.
“Bailey!” Beth yelled, sounding like a drill sergeant.
“What?” I yelled back, turning to see an alligator coming out of the water.
When it reached land, the gator made a bee line for us. I shielded Carter with my body, looking into the golden eyes of a predator. The gator opened its mouth and chomped, only a few feet away.
I closed my eyes and a shotgun fired, so loud it must have been right by my ear. When I was brave enough to look, the alligator disappeared, crawling back into the swamp. As it swam away, I turned my head and gaped. Carter’s father was standing on the river bank with a shotgun in his hands.
“Thank you,” I whispered with tears in my eyes.
“Is he okay?” he asked.
I nodded as Carter put the weight of his body against me. “Yeah. He’s just had too much to drink.”
Robert knelt down and checked Carter’s eyes. “Bailey.”
My hands were shaking as I realized he was talking to me. “Yeah?”
“Are you okay?”
I gave him a small smile, because it was the nicest thing he’d ever said to me. “I think so.”
“Beth.” He looked at her. “You all right?”
“Yeah, Daddy,” she said with a breath. “I’m fine.”
“Let’s get back to the house.” He picked up his son in his arms and carried him to his truck. I helped him lay Carter across the backseat and then got in with him, resting Carter’s head in my lap. Robert climbed in the front with Beth and then drove us back to the house, while I stroked Carter’s face and hair.
An Agreement (Summer in New York Book 3) Page 28