The Cowboy’s Daughter

by Jamie K. Schmidt

  “The gazebo will be for pictures. You’ve seen how photogenic Pippi and Sunflower are. I might even get some ponies and advertise children photo packages. I bet there’s even a market for head shots for local actors.”

  He chuckled. “Are you practicing that speech on me before you present it to your father?”

  “Like he cares,” she said with a sad smile. “I’m not doing it for him. I thought I was, but I think I want this business to succeed for me more. That said, I am definitely looking forward to helping the ranch get back on its feet again.”

  It wasn’t so bad, strolling along with her like this. He liked listening to her voice. It was almost like poetry and it took his mind off how uncomfortable he was. As they walked on, though, Kelly got more and more distracted and her conversation trailed off. He’d been enjoying the walk, but as the barn came into sight and they saw their two delinquent horses, he had to break the silence.

  “Is there something wrong?” he asked.

  “We need to talk.”

  “Hell, I thought that’s what we had been doing.”

  “I mean about important things.”

  “Oooh, I usually get further into a relationship before this conversation happens.”

  The horses let them approach and reclaim their bridles.

  “Thanks for nothing,” he told Sunflower when she nudged the front of his shirt.

  “She’s looking for peppermints. They both are.” She stroked Pippi’s nose.

  “Well, they’re not going to get any.” Trent shook his head.

  They walked the horses back to the barn. “So, are you breaking up with me?” he asked.

  “What?” Kelly gawked at him. “No. Are we even together?”

  “We could be. We should be. Don’t you think?”

  Taking a shuddering breath, Kelly led her horse into the stable and he followed. “Yeah, I think, but it’s not that easy.”

  “Do you have a boyfriend?” Trent didn’t think she would have let him kiss her like that if she was dating someone, but he couldn’t think of anything else that could have been bothering her.

  “It’s not that.” Kelly sighed. “I’ve got something to tell you and I’m not sure how to start.”

  “Just spit it out,” he said, mildly. After taking off Sunflower’s saddle and blanket, he helped Kelly take care of the horses and made sure they were secure in their stalls with food and water. But she didn’t say anything until they were walking out of the barn.

  “Come on back to the house for a minute, I want to grab my purse. I promise to rescue you from my dad. We’ll talk over lunch.”

  “No worries,” he said. “Whatever it is, we’ll work it out.”

  “Yeah,” she said softly with a trace of doubt in her voice.

  He followed her into the ranch house. She led him into the living room where her father was sitting. Another woman and a child were there as well.

  “Mom, this is Trent Campbell. Trent, my mother, Sarah Sullivan.”

  “Please don’t get up. Nice to meet you, ma’am,” he said, shaking her hand when she half rose out of her chair. “And who is this?” Trent used the back of the couch to settle himself down on one knee. His entire body locked and he bit down on a curse. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to get back up.

  The child looked like a fairy angel with wispy blonde hair and deep blue eyes. She smiled and Trent was enchanted by the two little dimples that popped up in her cheeks.

  “This is my daughter, Alissa.”

  He froze. This must have been what she wanted to tell him. “Howdy, ma’am,” he managed to get out. Alissa giggled and ran to hide behind her grandfather’s chair.

  “I’m just going to grab my purse,” Kelly said.

  He heard her thunder up the stairs.

  “So, Trent, I hear you’re going to be the master of ceremonies at the rodeo,” Sarah said.

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m also going to be judging the mutton bustin’. Is that little lady going to be competing?” He winked at Alissa and she let out another stream of giggles again and ducked behind the chair again.

  “No,” Sarah said. “She’s not old enough yet.”

  “Yes, she is,” Frank said. “She’ll love it.”

  “Oh? How old is she?”

  Kelly must have flown back down the stairs, because suddenly she was at his elbow hoisting him to his feet. He saw stars and he swayed a bit, but he was up and apparently heading out the door at a fast clip.

  “We’ve got to get going. See y’all later. Alissa, be good for MeMaw and PawPaw.”

  “Bye, Mommy,” Alissa said, but she was already engrossed in the cartoon on the television set.

  “Bye! Nice meeting you.” Trent let Kelly drag him out of the room.

  Chapter Five

  Kelly wasn’t ready for the big talk yet. She wasn’t sure if she ever would be. She had to brace herself against the hurt of his indifference. Alissa was too great a kid to have to deal with that from her own father.

  As it was, Alissa had started asking questions about who her father was and why wasn’t he in their life. So far, Kelly had been able to deflect her by misdirection and changing the subject. That wasn’t going to work for much longer. Maybe it was for the best that she’d be able to talk to Trent about it. However they decided to sling the story, it had to end with Alissa not feeling unwanted or unloved.

  It was also hard to understand that Trent had no idea he was a father. She’d spent so much energy hating him for his indifference. Kelly had never even considered that he hadn’t ever received her messages. What if he not only wanted Alissa, but wanted joint custody as well? The thought of not seeing her every day almost made Kelly physically ill. She had to get control of herself, of the situation. Forcing herself to take deep breaths, Kelly couldn’t calm down. Jitters shook through her and she wanted to blurt out the truth instead of easing into it.

  Once they were on their way, she couldn’t hold back any longer. “What did you think of Alissa?”

  “She’s cute as a button, like her mama. Is her daddy in the picture?”

  How could he have met Alissa and not seen his own eyes looking back at him?

  “No,” she said, her voice sounding breathless to her own ears.

  “Then he’s an idiot.”

  She groaned inwardly.

  “You didn’t have to worry about telling me about her. I love kids. I always wanted a big family.”

  “You did?” That just made it worse somehow.

  “There was just never the time for a serious relationship.” He frowned. “Seems like that’s the story of my life. No time for anything but riding bulls.” Trent looked at her. “I’ve got time now.”

  They pulled into the parking lot of the Last Stand Saloon, but she didn’t make a move to get out of the car. Trent deserved to know, and Kelly deserved the consequences of not telling him about Alissa face-to-face all those years ago. Damn, she hated Last Stand. The worst moments of her life had happened in this town.

  “What’s the matter?” he said, gently rubbing her shoulder.

  “Alissa is five years old.”

  She waited for him to do the math in his head. It took him a minute. Kelly didn’t dare look at him.

  “You had a boyfriend when we were together?” His voice was strained.

  “No.”

  “You had one right after, then.” It was angry now. Accusatory.

  “No.” She forced herself to face him and the blazing blue temper in his eyes. “I called to tell you as soon as I found out I was pregnant. You never returned my calls or answered the messages I left.”

  “My phone was stolen,” he gritted out. “You could have tried harder.”

  “I did. I called your manager.”

  He blinked. “Billy?”

  “He didn’t return my messages either. So, I called from a friend’s phone, and when he answered, I told him I was six months pregnant. And that the child was yours. I demanded to speak with you. He said he’d give y
ou the message.”

  “He didn’t.” Trent’s jaw tightened.

  “He didn’t believe me that the child was yours. I called him a third time from New York.”

  “New York?”

  “My father kicked me out when I wouldn’t tell him who the father was.”

  “Kicked you out? Why didn’t you tell him it was me?”

  Kelly shook her head. “And be another buckle bunny trying to trick you into being a father? I didn’t want you to be forced to acknowledge Alissa. And I didn’t want to break my father’s heart twice by making him see his favorite rodeo star in that light.”

  “I swear to you that I never knew.” Despair tinged the anger in his eyes.

  It gutted her. “I know that now. But when I called Billy from New York, he said he gave you my message and you didn’t want to be a father. You had other responsibilities. He offered me money.”

  “He what?” Shock shook through his voice.

  “I told him where he could stick that money.” She sighed. “I tried one last time. After the accident. She’d just been born. I wanted to send you pictures. I thought…” Kelly gave a shaky laugh and wiped away tears. “I thought even if you didn’t want to be a part of our lives, seeing your daughter would have helped your recovery.”

  Trent closed his eyes. A tremor shook through him. His jaw was tight and his body seemed so tightly wound, she was afraid he was going to explode. “Are you sure she’s mine?”

  “What?” Kelly snapped. “Of course, I’m sure. You were the only man I was with.”

  “You said you were on the pill.”

  “I was. I…must have forgotten to take it that day. Or something. I don’t know. Birth control wasn’t anything I really had to pay attention to before. If I missed a day, big deal.” Kelly gave a short humorless laugh. “Until it was a very big fucking deal.” She heard the tears in her voice and tried to rein them back in. This was a long time coming and he deserved to ask these questions. Still, it stung that it felt as though he didn’t believe her.

  “You should have said something when the condom broke.”

  “At that point, I honestly thought we were protected. It wasn’t until the next morning when I saw there was an extra pill that I realized I hadn’t taken it.” Even then, she didn’t think she could have gotten pregnant after one night. What were the odds? Let’s just say she never went to Vegas after that. Not with her luck.

  He sighed. “I grew up without a father. I never wanted a child of mine to have to suffer through that.”

  “She hasn’t suffered.”

  “I should have been there. Just like my father should have been there for me.”

  “Why wasn’t he?”

  Trent gave a tight shrug. “Maybe he didn’t want to be tied down with a kid. Maybe she never told him.”

  Kelly cringed. “Billy asked me if I was going to file a paternity suit. I said of course not. I didn’t want anything from you. Then he said to take a hint and go away. So, I did.”

  “He had no right to do that.” Trent’s voice was quiet and menacing in the close space between them.

  “I hadn’t expected that we’d run into each other. I was going to avoid you at the rodeo.”

  “Why?”

  “I didn’t want to see you. I was mad at you.”

  “Mad at me? Would you have ever told me about Alissa?”

  “If I saw you again. If you asked about her.”

  “It never occurred to you that I didn’t get your messages?” His voice rose. “You thought I was the type of person who could turn my back on my own flesh and blood?”

  “I didn’t know what type of person you were,” she argued. “We didn’t have that type of relationship. Relationship? We had one night and a bunch of sexts. And then I never heard from you again, until you asked me to dance last night.”

  “I looked for you,” he said, his hand over his face now. “I came back a few times to Last Stand.”

  “I was in New York. In exile.” She gave a half laugh.

  “Does she know I’m her father?” he whispered.

  Kelly shook her head. “No.”

  “No? What did you tell her about her father?” He dropped his hand and stared at her incredulously.

  “I said, he doesn’t live with us and I changed the topic. She’s been more insistent lately.”

  “What were you going to tell her?”

  Kelly dropped her head back on the seat rest. “I was going to lie. I was going to make up a story. I thought about saying her father had been a soldier who died in a war. But that seemed disrespectful. Then I was going to say I was artificially inseminated, but that was too much to try to explain to a five-year-old.”

  “Why not the truth?”

  “Because I thought the truth was her father didn’t want her. And there was no way I was going to tell my baby girl that.”

  He stared out the window. Kelly could hear his ragged breaths.

  “I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that I could have lived my life without ever knowing I had a daughter. I’m not sure if I want to kill Billy or beat him within an inch of his life,” Trent said between his teeth.

  She flinched away at the violence in his tone. “I can’t handle this right now.” Reaching for the door handle, he stopped her with a firm grip on her arm.

  “Let me go,” she said, hearing the hysteria in her voice.

  “Don’t leave. Not yet. I’m not going to do anything like that. Truth be told, the old man could put me on my ass in one shot.”

  “That’s not very comforting.”

  “I’m pissed, Kelly. I’m allowed to be pissed.”

  “At me?” she asked in a small voice.

  He nodded. “I’m trying not to be. I believe you tried.”

  “Thanks,” she said, tartly.

  “Why didn’t you come to see me? Why didn’t you push your way through the crowd and grab me by the balls and tell me I was a bastard?”

  “I didn’t want to be humiliated. I didn’t want you to call me a liar in front of everyone. I didn’t want to be in the gossip columns and have my family’s name dragged through the mud. I didn’t want to force you to be a father. I didn’t want that for Alissa. And I didn’t want that for myself.”

  “Okay.” He let out a big sigh. “Okay. I’m trying to think rationally here. I’m compartmentalizing my anger.”

  “You’re what?”

  “Something my therapist taught me. Anger isn’t going to help the situation and if I let it, I’m going to be blinded by it. So, let’s move on.”

  “Just like that?”

  “Kelly, I’m trying here,” he said between his teeth. “Work with me.”

  “Fine. Where do you want to go from here?”

  He was silent for a few moments and then he said, “I want my daughter to know I’m her father.”

  “Okay.” She sagged in relief. “We need to come up with a story that she’ll believe as to where you’ve been all her life.” Some of the tension left his shoulders and the knot in her stomach started to slowly uncurl.

  “I’d rather tell her the truth.”

  “She’s too young for the truth.”

  “Well, I didn’t mean all the sordid details. Just the bare bones of it.”

  Kelly looked him straight in the eye. “Do you want a relationship with her?”

  “Yes.”

  Kelly let out a long breath. “What kind of relationship?”

  “I’m her father.”

  “But she doesn’t know you.”

  “She will,” he said, and it sounded like a vow.

  Kelly nodded. “Okay. We need to take this slow.”

  “Why? I almost died a few years ago. I don’t take anything slow anymore because nothing is guaranteed.”

  “Because she is a five-year-old child and I don’t want her confused or hurt.”

  “What will confuse or hurt her? Baby, I’m your daddy. I’m sorry I haven’t been here, but I was hurt and in the hosp
ital. Now, I’m here and you don’t have to wonder about me ever again.”

  Okay, that would work. The pressure in Kelly’s chest eased some more. “That’s a good way to tell her. But she’s not my only concern. My father will flip his shit.”

  “I don’t care. One less fan to gain a daughter? That’s a bargain,” he said.

  “I care. His health isn’t good. The ranch’s finances have been a strain on him. Our relationship has just recovered. And he’s been acting really strange lately, calling my sisters and me down here for one last time before he sold the ranch—which he had no intention of doing right away, as evidenced by your lease. I just need to know where I stand with him. I need to get centered here in Last Stand again.”

  “I can’t believe he threw you out when you were pregnant.”

  “He was trying to force my hand.”

  “How did that work out for him?”

  “He didn’t talk to me for two years. It was only after his heart attack that he wanted to see me and Alissa. I’m afraid springing this on him suddenly will ruin our fragile truce, as well as upset him to the point he becomes irrational and does something he’ll regret.”

  “So, her grandfather wasn’t around for the first two years of her life, either?” Trent thumped the heel of his hand on the steering wheel.

  “She had everyone else. She would have had him too, but he was too stubborn. Trent, all I’m asking is if we can take this slow?”

  “I don’t want to be your dirty little secret.”

  “You’ve been that for over five years.”

  He flinched.

  “What’s a few more months? Alissa and I will be living on the ranch while I get my business started. You can see her as often as you want. We’ll tell her, together. And then we’ll tell my father, together. But you have to do it on my schedule.”

  He blew out an angry sigh. “I don’t see any point in waiting.”

  “I will get hurt, if you don’t. Alissa will get hurt, if you don’t. And quite frankly, I’ve been hurt enough.” Kelly got out of the car. This time, he let her go. She slammed the door and stormed over to her car.

  She’d leave Last Stand right now before she let Alissa feel her father’s wrath or for one minute think she hadn’t been wanted. She’d spare both of them the scene if her father decided to get ugly when he found out that Trent was Alissa’s father. Kelly and Trent stared at each other through their windshields. Just as she was about to start up her car, she saw Trent curse and open his door.