by Tana Stone
“I have held so much anger for so long, it feels strange to let it go,” K’alvek said. “But it is also liberating. There is nothing else I must do. Only what I wish to do.”
“And what do you wish, son of K’alron?”
K’alvek’s gaze slid to the female sitting by the fire, with her pale hair spilling over her shoulders in waves. “I used to wish to follow in my father’s footsteps. A legacy was once my highest goal.”
“And now?” Tommel asked.
K’alvek shrugged. “I realize that my destiny is larger than that of my father’s. I do not need to be clan leader. I do not need to rule the sands. I do not even need to remain on our planet.”
Tommel’s throat tightened. “You do not mean to take your father’s place now that Zatvar has been removed? Was that not always your goal?”
“Removing Zatvar is enough. I do not need to lead.” K’alvek rocked back on his heels and tipped his head up to the sky. “I believe the goddesses have different plans for me.”
This was impossible. K’alvek had been meant to rule since his birth. Now he wished to leave the planet and fly among the stars? Tommel knew he had fallen hard for the female, but he had never envisioned that the Dothvek would actually abandon his clan. It had never been done before. No Dothvek had ever left the planet, aside from Vrax, and he had returned. His stomach clenched at the thought.
“You cannot leave.” His voice cracked. “Dothveks do not leave our planet.”
K’alvek pivoted to face him. “Only because we have never been given the chance. Who is to say our kind is not meant to fly among the stars?”
Tommel’s blood pounded in his ears. This was wrong. All wrong. He had watched K’alvek grow up. After his father’s death, he had treated the warrior as if he was his own, watching out for him and offering advice. It had almost made up for his own loss, and there were times he had made himself believe K’alvek was his, if only for a moment.
He attempted to suck in a breath, but there was a weight pressing on his chest. “I am to say. It is not done. It is an insult to the goddesses.” He managed to heave in some air. “I forbid it.”
K’alvek stilled. “You cannot forbid it. You are not clan leader, nor are you my father.”
Tommel felt the words like blows. He fisted his hands, shaking his head. “Your action will tear our people apart.”
“Our clan is stronger than that. It has survived much worse, as you well know.”
Tommel pressed his eyelids together, trying not to remember what had been so much worse. Hazy images of his former mate swam in his mind, as he tried to push them away. Memories of their bonding ceremony. The feel of her body nestled next to his as they slept in their tent. The hard swell of her belly as his child grew in her. The sickly shade of her skin as the sickness overtook her. The rasp in her breath as she fought for air. The flames of the funeral pyre as he had lost them both.
The weight of K’alvek’s hand on his back snatched the images from his mind and jerked him back to reality. He was bent over at the waist, his hands braced on his knees as he sucked in air. He reared up, causing K’alvek to drop his hand and step back. “You do not understand sacrifice. You never will.”
He stormed away from the fire, feeling more gazes than K’alvek’s following him. He did not care. He needed to be alone and away from the laughter and singing.
How could they be celebrating, when one of their own might leave—and perhaps more, if the other Dothevks who’d paired off with the off-world females chose to leave, as well?
When the offworld ship had crashed on the planet, he had thought the female crew was the answer to their prayers to the goddesses. Their people had been in desperate need of females, and the offworlders had seemingly dropped from the sky. He had been more than pleased when K’alvek had given in to his feelings for the human captain, and had watched with interest as other clan members had paired off with the females. But now K’alvek was considering leaving with the offworlders?
He trudged up a short dune and then down until he reached the valley and could no longer hear the buzz of voices as sharply. Sinking down on his knees, he drew in long breaths until his ears no longer rang.
Tommel had not considered this possibility because, until Tori and Vrax had appeared, the females had not had a ship. They’d been stuck on the planet and content living in the Dothvek village. At least, that was what he’d thought.
Bexli had obviously not been happy. He had sensed her urgency and impatience when he’d ridden with her. She had been eager to find Caro, and also impatient to find a way off the planet. He’d tried to ignore what he’d sensed, because he hadn’t wanted to admit that he could pick up on her feelings. He couldn’t admit to himself that he’d let another female’s thoughts into his. Tommel was all too aware what it meant to open himself up to another’s mind, and he had no intention of experiencing that again.
Thinking of the shapeshifter made his heart race again. She would leave, as well. She’d never wanted to stay, and Tori’s arrival with the huge metal monstrosity of a ship meant that she would leave his planet forever.
It was for the best, he reminded himself. The sooner she was away from him, the better. He did not like feeling surges of protectiveness and jealousy and fear. He had not felt them in more solar rotations than he could count, and it unnerved him that he still felt them as powerfully as he did when he was young.
He hated the idea of losing K’alvek and the other clansmen, but he would not miss the chaos the females’ arrival had thrown them into. They had done little more than battle and hunt and rescue since K’alvek first brought Danica into their camp, and he would welcome a respite from it. He was no longer the untested warrior who relished challenges. He had seen enough to last him many lifetimes.
Flopping back on the sand, Tommel hooked his hands behind his head and peered up at the stars twinkling in the inky sky. Looking at the night sky had always calmed him in the past. Now the sight made him think of his clansmen as a tiny dot in the endless night of space. What would life be like when they had gone? What would his life be like when she was gone? When he no longer felt the pulse of her emotions? When the flash of her hair no longer made his breath catch in his throat?
It would be normal, he thought. Just like it was before. Dread settled into his stomach as he imagined endless days stretching out in front of him without her.
“She is not yours,” he whispered sharply to himself. “She never will be. She does not want you, and she is the last thing you want or need.”
This was all true, yet it made Tommel’s heart ache. He strained to hear the sounds of the celebration and imagined that he could hear the throaty sound of her laugh before reminding himself of all the reasons would never take a mate again.
Three
Bexli looked around and realized how much the party had thinned out. The fire had dwindled until it was a pile of glowing embers that occasionally sent up sparks, and the sound of loud voices was now little more than hushed snatches of conversation. She sat with her legs crossed near the fire, now that it no longer burned so high, and she poked at the few remaining logs with a long stick while sipping slightly sour, fermented wine out of a wineskin.
Most of the Dothveks had stretched out on the sand, preferring to sleep under the stars than to find a room inside the cavernous spaceship, and the soft rumble of snoring now replaced the earlier war chants. Burning torches had been driven into the sand, surrounding the area to keep away any sand creatures that emerged at night.
Her crew mates, on the other hand, had taken their mates onto the ship to sleep. Sleeping on the sand was an acquired taste, and one that could not match up to the comfort of a bed and pillow, if you asked her. Which was probably why her friends had chosen cabins in the ship. All except for Caro and Rukken, who’d snuck off to his oasis a few dunes away.
Tori and Vrax had been the last to wander off, trying to convince her to come inside with them. She’d begged off, saying she wanted a few more m
oments in front of the fire. The truth was, she didn’t want to run into Tommel again.
She hadn’t seen him since he’d been standing on the ship’s ramp, and for all she knew, he was waiting outside her cabin door. She didn’t know why he would be. Not after she’d practically bolted away from him.
Bexli had never given him any reason to like her, come to think of it, yet the Dothvek insisted on shadowing her like she was some frail creature or child. The way he watched her, he must think she was either mentally unstable, or incompetent.
“I should shift into a Grendelian bear and bite his head off,” she mumbled to herself, laughing as she took another gulp of wine.
Of course, she’d never do it, but the thought of him seeing her in a terrifying form made her smile. At least then, he would see that she wasn’t someone who needed protecting. Usually, it was the other way around. People needed protecting from her.
She knew that K’alvek had assigned him to ride with her when they’d gone looking for Caro, but Tommel had taken it way too seriously. She didn’t know what his deal was, but she’d never had a guy hover over her like he did. Which wasn’t shocking, since she’d never known her father, and she avoided relationships like the plague.
She’d had enough of males when she’d been forced to work in a pleasure house. It wasn’t that she didn’t find them attractive or desirable or sometimes crave the physical contact, but she’d managed to keep herself distracted by work ever since Danica had taken a chance on her and brought her on as part of the bounty-hunting team. She knew she owed Danica more than she could ever repay her, so she did everything to make herself an invaluable member of the crew. No risk was too big, and nothing was too dangerous.
Bexli jabbed the fire, and a log snapped and sent up a stream of sparks. She didn’t mind the danger. She would do anything for her friends, and anything to be a crucial part of the team. If only they could get back to hunting bounties. She would be glad to never see Tommel’s disapproving gaze again.
“You planning on sleeping out here?” The Dothvek voice made her look up.
She’d expected to see Tommel towering over her, and had a snappy comeback all prepared, but it wasn’t him. It was the twin warriors.
“We can stay with you and keep you company,” the other added with a smile. “Or keep you safe.”
“Why do I have a feeling you two are the most dangerous things out here?” She appraised them and their broad physiques, taking another long drink of wine and feeling the lightness of the wineskin in her hand. Had she finished the entire thing already?
They settled on either side of her, and the heat of their big bodies sent a small thrill through her. She had no intention of pursuing either Dothvek, but she wasn’t against a little flirting. Especially when her fingers were so buzzy, and her body hummed with contentment.
“I am Dev,” one of the twins said. “And this is my younger brother, Trek.”
“Younger by a handful of breaths.” Trek shot his brother a look.
The warriors looked so similar she wondered if anyone could tell them apart. “I’m Bexli.”
“We know.” Dev’s gaze moved from her face. “You are the one who changes.”
“That’s me. Shapeshifter extraordinaire.” She saw their faces twitch with confusion and guessed that wasn’t a word easily translated by the temporary auditory devices she and her crew and given the Dothveks. “But I actually don’t need protection out here.”
“Then we will sit with you and keep you company.” Trek leaned in so that his arm brushed hers. “We do not like to see females sitting alone.”
Bexli didn’t need to be an empath like them to sense that both of them were coming on to her. Between their eyes drifting over her body and the heat pulsing off them, she knew what they wanted, and it was something she had no intention of giving them. Especially not both of them. She wasn’t averse to a little flirting, but that was all she could offer.
She stood, even though the rapid movement gave her a head rush and made her sway on the spot. “I’d actually better turn in. Once this fire is out, it will be way too cold out here for me.”
“There are other ways to stay warm.” Dev stood to join her, his voice husky.
Trek also stood, putting a hand on her arm as she tried to regain her balance. “Perhaps you need to lie down.”
“Perhaps you two need to walk away.”
The voice was dark and deadly, and Bexli didn’t need to look over her shoulder to know it was Tommel.
The twins started as they turned to face Tommel, and Bexli pivoted to take in the large form of the Dothvek, with his shoulders squared and his jaw tight.
“We were helping her—“ Dev began.
“You were leaving.” Tommel’s voice carried an unmistakable warning.
Dev and Trek exchanged a nervous look and nodded. They mumbled something to her before walking away and leaving her facing Tommel.
“What the fuck was that about?” she asked, her dizziness replaced by fury.
Tommel did not move his wide-set legs, or change his stormy expression. “You are in no condition to make decisions.”
She huffed out a breath and tried not to scream. “Who said I was making a decision? I was talking with two perfectly nice guys before I went to bed.”
Tommel made a noise in the back of his throat that told her he either did not agree, or he did not believe her. “They are males.”
She rolled her eyes. “Thanks for the news flash. I figured that part out for myself.”
“Young males fresh off a battle,” he continued, his voice loud, as if bellowing would make his words sink in.
Bexli narrowed her gaze at him. “Are you saying I was somehow in danger because they’re young and fought recently?”
His eyebrow twitched. “Only in danger of making a decision you will later regret.”
This guy was too much, Bexli thought, as her face heated and her heart hammered. Who was he to tell her what she should or shouldn’t do? She hadn’t had any intention of doing a thing with either of the guys, but now she was pissed. She balled her hands into fists. “Who says I would have regretted it?”
A muscle tightened in his jaw. “Like I said. You are not thinking straight. I will escort you to your quarters, so you will be safe.”
“As safe as I was last time?”
Color tinged his cheeks, but he did not move. “I was tasked to ride with you and protect you—“
“When we were looking for Caro.” She cut him off. “Not for the rest of my natural life. You did your duty. I’m safe. We found her. We won. That’s it.”
Tommel pressed his lips together until the gold skin became white. “That is not it.”
Bexli jabbed a finger into his chest. “Yes. It. Is.”
She pulled her finger back as tingles began spreading up her arm, shaking it gently to rid herself of the warm feeling that pulsed from her fingertips to her heart.
“I think you know that is a lie,” Tommel said, his voice now quiet and soft.
She almost preferred it when he was raising his voice to her, with his dark eyes flashing. Her own gaze slipped from his serious face to his broad, inked chest, to the ripple of taut stomach muscles, and then the vee of ridges that disappeared below his waistband. He had a body to rival any of the younger warriors, and her mind flashed back to when her hand was pressed flush to his corded stomach.
He cleared his throat, and her head jerked up to meet his eyes. That was where he was so different from the others. There was pain behind his eyes that few of the other Dothveks had. When she touched him, she sensed it beneath the heat. Regret and pain. Emotions with which she was keenly acquainted.
She looked away, remembering why she was so angry with him. “You can’t treat me like a child. It’s ridiculous. I’m a grown woman who’s been taking care of herself for a long time.”
“I do not think you are a child.”
“You could have fooled me.” She folded her arms, feeling very much
like the petulant child she was insisting she wasn’t. Shit, why did Tommel bring out the worst in her?
“Everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes.”
She snapped her head up. “Not me.” Before she could think better of it, she reached up and wrapped one hand around the back of his neck, pulling his face to hers and crushing their mouths together.
He jerked for a moment, but she held him to her. She’d meant for the kiss to be fast and hard, a way to prove to him that she was no fragile flower who needed coddling. But within seconds, it deepened into something more. Her kiss turned into his, with him parting her lips with his tongue and delving deep as his arms wound around her waist and tugged her body to his.
She opened to him and moaned, tipping her head back as their tongues tangled. He made a low rumbling noise in his throat that sent tremors down her spine and heat pulsing between her legs. Bexli had one hand braced on his naked chest, and she finally pushed away, her head swimming.
Tommel still held her, his breath ragged and his eyes dark and molten. Neither of them spoke. When he finally dropped his arms from her waist, she felt the loss of his heat immediately. She opened her mouth to say something—although she didn’t know what she could possibly say after that kiss—but he spun on his heel without a word and walked away.
So much for making your point, Bexli. Now you’ve fucked things up even more.
Four
Tommel tried to steady his breath as he walked away, but he felt his chest heaving, and he wasn’t sure where he was going. He was just walking.
He didn’t look back to where he’d left Bexli standing, with her lips swollen from his kiss and her cheeks flushed. If he looked back, he knew he wouldn’t be able to walk away. And he needed to walk away.
The kiss had been unexpected—a shock. But the feelings that had flooded his body as he’d held her—his mouth exploring hers and his hands holding her tight to him—had been familiar. He’d been sensing her since the moment he’d settled her in front of him on that jebel, when her ass had bumped against him and made his cock twitch to life. Her muddle of emotions had been swirling with his, and crowding his head and confusing him.